He Said...(A short story)

He Said...

He killed me by his words, tortured me with his smiles, and healed me with his love. With his embrace, he made me feel alive. He held me with his eyes as he let go of my hand.

He said 'I love you' with me, not knowing it would be the last time.

He said 'I miss you' when what he meant was 'goodbye'.

Saying 'I will be right here waiting' when he knew he would be leaving.

He said 'I won't give up' when what he wanted to say was 'Don't let go of us'.

He said...'Go away' when all he wanted me to do was to stay.

He said 'Forget me' when his eyes were telling the other way. He told me to leave twice but his eyes are begging me otherwise.

What he says was the opposite of what his heart meant. And I don't want to believe everything he said.

But when he finally said, "I'm dying"... I said nothing.

I would often ask myself, 'Did I do something wrong?' I wanted to yell at him that leaving is not the best choice. Now that he's suffering, I have no reason to leave. I should be by his side.

Nothing hurts more than seeing the person you loved and cared the most slowly fading in your arms.

But holding on while he's letting go is unbearable. And when he finally decided to let go, my heart died with him.

It's painful, excruciating. It's hard but I managed to live on with that pain until now.

I looked at his living memory in front of me and kissed his head. An angel after our own tragedy. Someone I'm willing to give all of my life and do everything for his happiness. The fruit of our love and the only reason why I was still existing in this world.

'How can I forget and let go of you if he looks just like you?'

"Momma, are you crying? Are you sad?" I looked down and patted his head.

"No, baby. I just remembered something. Let's go visit your Dada?"

"I miss him, Momma. Do we really look alike?"

I nodded and hugged his small frame close to my chest.

"Yes, dear. You don't know how much I miss him too, baby."

I lighted a candle and placed the flowers in his tombstone. I gazed at his carved name and smiled as my tears fell.

"Happy 5th anniversary, my love."

~♥~