Soul Mates

It was pretty early when I woke up. Not that I slept that well. I kept tossing and turning on bed last night. The nightmares about that day, which had seemingly disappeared for a while when I was happy, paid a visit last night. I can't say I'm happy about that.

Since it was now morning, I decided to just freshen up a bit and make myself look presentable to go to airport and catch the first flight back home. I had no appetite anyways, so I decided to skip breakfast.

I made my way into the shower. The droplets of warm water seemed to soothe my tense body a bit. When I got enough of it, I stepped out of the water. It seemed I had spent quite some time showering, since the mirror in the bathroom was fogged up. I dried myself and put on clothes. I was in no mood for makeup so after getting dressed up, I left for airport.

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I was back home. The whole entire flight, I was restless. I couldn't stop thinking. All sorts of negative thoughts made their way into my brain. They kept on repeating that I couldn't help but believe they were true.

No one wants you.

You are worthless.

If it weren't for your dad and mom's money and status, no one would even spare you a glance.

Even your childhood best friend and boyfriend didn't want you, how pathetic can you be? Hah!

These thoughts were true to some extent. Alex didn't even hesitate to throw a fifteen, almost sixteen, years of friendship away. It didn't help that the guilt of that incident was consuming me whole still.

I had become so disoriented that when the familiar smell of Ally and Ari registered in my brain after they hugged me, I broke down in an instant. I couldn't comprehend anything after I broke down. I hated crying in front of others and letting them see me in that state. I felt vulnerable. But at that time I couldn't hold it inside, it had become too much.

I faintly remember me telling them about all my thoughts, and them telling me to take deep breaths and calm down knowing what caused such a reaction from me after all, they knew about the incident and how it had taken a toll on me. Then, I passed out.

For the remaining days I had taken off from university and work, I kept myself locked in my room and did nothing. Well, I thought about a lot of things though. I even considered giving up on my dreams that I had worked so hard for. But, then I thought about my dad. His last wish had been to see me complete my dreams.

No, I can't give up. I would never disappoint him. It's the least I can do for him after what he has done for me.

And with that thought, I went back to the company. The university and others could wait, I needed to complete my dreams no matter what. Nobody saw me 'til my debut. I had completely engrossed myself in work that I barely talked to or met anyone. Not even Ally and Ari.

It was only on my debut stage that others saw me. The seniors, staffs and CEO of my company congratulated me and I met with Ally and Ari. That was all the interaction I had with others, except the team I was provided for my work at the company.

After my debut, I got completely engrossed in writing and producing songs for my first album. That was what seemed to keep me distracted from my self-destructive thoughts about not being enough and being a disappointment. Those thoughts were fading though. Slowly, but surely they were fading.

It seemed after my debut and album release, my songs about pain, fears that keep you up at night and also the way our mind produces contrasting thoughts at the same time and you feel like there is a literal angel and devil on our shoulders arguing sometimes had fascinated the people. If only they knew, those lyrics didn't come from my imagination. Many people loved my music and supported me. I was beginning to feel like I had a purpose.

That I didn't need to make songs while thinking about my dad's wish but while truly wanting to pursue my dream and to not disappoint my fans who had so easily claimed me as their idol without hesitation.

Time passed by in a breeze. It was already the day for the award show meaning, it was my birthday. I would be getting to meet my soul mate. I wondered if they would want my broken self. It turned out the one Alex cheated on me with, was his soul mate. They must have felt the connection at a strong level to go that far. It lessened my pain of being cheated on which wasn't a lot surprisingly, by a bit.

But it still hurt that he did not even think about having a girlfriend, which was me, and went ahead and cheated with someone he felt some connection with but also someone who was a stranger. So, I doubted if my soul mate would want me.

Getting out of my negative thoughts, I paid attention to the ongoing award show. The award show was gonna last 'til mid-night so my only friends, Ally and Ari had decided to give me a surprise before I left for the award show.

They had dressed me up in a red gown decorated with sequences at the ends which made it look simple yet stylish, done my makeup light and had my hair parted in the middle, curled at the ends and set free, saying it was all for the award show. Then they took me to my favorite bakery shop, where I used to visit during high school and ordered my favorite ice- cream cake. I felt overdressed but didn't complain. I did not want to rain on their parade.

By the time their surprise was over, I was in tears. Good thing that the makeup was water-proof. The reason for my tears was mostly the necklace they gifted me which had a crescent moon-attached-to-a-star charm, attached to it. Thinking of that, I caressed the charm attached to my necklace.

It feels good to know I at least have the best of friends one could have as my best friends.

My attention was back to the award show when I heard the host say, "Now it's time for us to know who won the 'Rookie of The Year' awards and it's nominees are,"

The display screen started to show the new idols nominated for the awards, one of which was me. I was aware of my nomination so I wasn't surprised. But, I was definitely nervous and anxious about who would receive the award. I wasn't that confident on myself but the encouragement from my team and my friends did give me hope.

Other nominees were mostly new idol groups, I was the only soloist nominated. Seeing them being encouraged by their own group members and seniors from their company got me wanting someone I knew to be there with me too. My seniors, SMR were not here for this award show. They had been given time to rest after their recent comeback.

Not that it would help, anyways. It would probably be awkward. I haven't talked to them and have tried to avoid them in every possible ways for god's sake!

"And the 'Rookie of The Year' goes to.."

This got my attention. After the award presenter said those words, I felt someone squeeze my hand. Surprised by this unexpected gesture, I followed the direction of the hand to see the one and only Yu-na smiling at me encouragingly, which calmed me down. I didn't even know I was that anxious.

"Don't be nervous. I have a feeling you're gonna take this award. Others are really talented, too. But, I feel like you deserve this award more than anyone. Your songs are truly amazing." Her words gave me confidence. There was something about her words or maybe it was just that she was one of my favorite artists and she just complimented me. No matter, I found myself nodding at her gratefully while saying, "Thank you, senior Yu-na. It means a lot to me since it's especially coming from you. I look up to you a lot."

She just nodded with a big smile on her face. Not saying anything as the award presenter was about to announce the name. For real, this time.

"Miss Maya Hu also known as Cherry!"

I did it! I really won the award. Still in shock, I stood up. After gratefully nodding towards senior Yu-na again, I made my way towards the stage. I took the award from the presenter with a half bow and half nod and also got hold of a mic.

"Uh, I'm still shocked right now." I chuckled which made the others laugh a bit as well. "I- uh, I don't know what to say. But first, thank you to all my fans who supported me since day one, my team who worked with me to help me reach this far, my friends who were there to smack me when I thought of giving up." I giggled again thinking of my trainee days and others laughed as well but, because of my statement.

"And lastly, to my parents who never failed to encourage me to follow my dreams. I don't know if I would've had the courage to do so without them." I started tearing up. But, there was one thing I wanted to add. "Also, dad, if you're watching this from up somewhere, I hope I made you proud. I love you." I added in a voice which cracked a bit.

That last statement seemed to touch others too. I saw Yu-na and other seniors tear up a bit. Not wanting to keep the mood that sad anymore, I added, "Thank you, again. I'll continue to work hard. Stay tuned for my next album." Hoping it would make them forget what I had said before. And it did. But not in the way I expected it to.

It turned out the exact time I ended my thank you speech, the time had reached 11:30 p.m and there on stage appeared my soul mates. Yes, soul mates. Five exactly.

They were all clad in pajamas with tear stains on their cheeks. It looked like they had been watching the award show while in bed. The thought of them cuddled up in bed cheering for me while crying almost made me smile.

Almost. Because my soul mates turned out to be none other than the SMR boys.

Wait! What?