Look

Chen An's orchestra teacher Ms. Yun had always told the students to imagine themselves performing on stage, even when they were just practicing. The allure of the spotlight, the silent anticipation of the audience, Chen An was used to it all.

But, even when she stood on the stage, when she could only hear the thundering metronome of her heartbeat, Chen An imagined her grandmother. And every time she picked up her violin, there she stood in her grandmother's living room, a place that was warm even in the coldest days of winter.

Her grandmother didn't like her getting involved in the arts, afraid she would follow her mother's path. But, when Chen An played the violin, she never looked away. Perhaps in those moments, Chen An reminded her most of her daughter, that flicker of passion that sparked in her eyes. Perhaps, Chen An truly had a way with music. No matter the reason, her grandmother always encouraged her to play violin, and in the most crucial moments of a musician's life, Chen An thought of her.

The voice of Ms. Yun shattered her illusion. "Great job on the solo, Chen An. And great job everyone. That's all for rehearsal today. Be sure to practice until the end of this piece for next time."

The room quickly filled with the noise of rustling scores and chatter between students. Lu Xi Xi turned to Chen An while packing away her violin.

"Let me in on your secrets, Chen An. How can you play so well?" Lu Xi Xi pouted.

Chen An smiled mischievously. "Do you want to know?" she asked, beckoning to her friend.

Lu Xi Xi leaned closer eagerly, but Chen An just pinched her cheek. "Ouch." She rubbed her face with a dramatic huff, but a smile crept onto her face.

"Chen An, Lu Xi Xi, could you two help me with something?" Ms. Yun approached the girls. "The art club is hosting an afternoon class for little kids after school and was looking for musicians to play for them. Do you have time to spare today?"

"I'm sorry, my mother is picking me up to see my aunt this afternoon," Lu Xi Xi explained with a frown, looking at Chen An desperately for help.

Chen An turned to their teacher. "Don't worry, I have no plans today."

"Great!" Ms. Yun clapped. "Head down to the art room after class."

With her violin case cradled in her arms, Chen An thought curiously as she made her way down the hallway to the art classroom. It was a place she rarely visited, yet she was walking there for the second time today.

The sun was beginning to wane, casting streaks of orange through the windows that lined the corridor.

Arriving at the classroom, Chen An raised her hand to knock, but the door swung open, and a surprised Shen Li Xin greeted her instead.

"Oh, you really came!" He beamed. "Just in time, come inside. I'll be right back."

Chen An suddenly remembered his offer earlier in the day and felt too awkward to correct him. She returned his smile and nodded, walking through the door he held open.

Inside, kids were running about, chasing each other with paint-covered hands. A little girl hid behind her legs from a boy with green fingers, clutching onto her pants.

"Jie Jie, please help me," the little girl cried out.

Chen An crouched down, and the girl wrapped her arms around her. Turning to the little boy, she spoke softly, "When someone tells you to stop, please respect their wishes, okay?"

The boy nodded, looking at the girl pitifully. "I'm sorry, An An. Please forgive me."

Surprised, Chen An turned to the girl. "Your name is An An?" To which the girl nodded. "I'm An An, too."

The little girl's once watery eyes shone brightly with a smile. "An An Jie Jie!" She pulled Chen An's hand and scuttled into the classroom.

Kids were spread throughout the room, colored pencils and jars of paint scattered across the tables. An An quickly left Chen An's side and ran to Li Jun Jie in the center of the room and climbed onto his lap. He gave her a small smile, the most genuine one Chen An had ever seen from him.

Chen An looked on curiously as Li Jun Jie gently guided a little boy's hand across the paper. An An and the other children leaned over the drawing in awe, their heads nearly bumping against each other's.

"Your friend?" Shen Li Xin's voice broke her thoughts.

Chen An shook her head vigorously. "We're just," she paused, "classmates."

"Ah, I see." Shen Li Xin guided her to the front of the classroom. "Let me help you get set up."

An old music stand and a rickety stool both covered in multicolored streaks of paint waited for her there. Chen An set the sheets of children's music Ms. Yun had prepared for her on the stand and settled into her seat the best she could.

As she began to play, kids crowded around her feet, astonished by the newcomer. In her periphery, Chen An could see Li Jun Jie look up to watch her, his pencil stilled against the paper, but she turned her attention back to the notes in front of her.

As Chen An finished the first booklet of music and set down her violin to rest, Li Jun Jie stood up from his seat as if to approach her, but Shen Li Xin reached her first, handing her a water bottle.

"You're amazing, An An," he exclaimed, patting her hair softly.

Chen An nearly spit out the water in her mouth, and she could feel heat rising up her cheeks. "Who told you about that name?"

Shen Li Xin touched his neck, embarrassed, and though the tips of his ears were hidden under his shaggy hair, Chen An could still see pink peeking through. "Sorry, do you not like to be called that? Little An An said you two shared the same name."

Though it was a name she came to despise through Li Jun Jie's years of relentless teasing, it sounded sweet in Shen Li Xin's honeyed voice, and Chen An shook her head. "No, I like it, don't worry."

The kids slowly filtered out of the classroom, showing off their impressive art pieces to their parents that came to pick them up. As Li Jun Jie sent off the last student, Chen An packed up her violin.

"It's getting late. You should both head home. I can handle the rest from here," Shen Li Xin told them while picking up the loose art materials.

They both nodded and bid him farewell, making the long journey down to the school lobby. The silence between them was stifling, and the two stood as far apart as possible in the wide hallway.

As they exited through front entrance of the school, Li Jun Jie suddenly stopped. "Why did you come here?"

Chen An looked at him confused, but he didn't look back at her. Under the flickering yellow light of the lamppost, his usual hardened face returned. The dull light drained the lively color from his skin and harshened his dark furrowed brow.

"You were never interested in art before. Why did you have to invade my space?" he asked accusingly.

Chen An wrinkled her nose. "I didn't mean to invade your space. Ms. Yun asked me to play music for the kids."

"Are you sure it wasn't to ogle at Shen Li Xin?"

Without waiting for Chen An's answer, Li Jun Jie walked down the steps and disappeared on the path out of the school gate.