Pick-up Lines
I was reading my premier magazine with my ultimate guide book called "100 pick-up lines to get girls" in the park. I was planning to do a social experiment on how accurate this book was. If this book turns out to be a scam, then I will burn down the whole magazine shop.
I gave a break to my three students today. So I could be free all day. I am desperate to get a girl at this point. I couldn't tell this to Kan and Gari, or they would murder me.
Just as my one eye was memorizing the pick-up lines while the other was looking through sexy premier magazines, someone tapped me in the back.
"Genji-nii. I never imagined that you are into this dirty stuff. Also, you are reading it brazenly on the outside!! I knew nii had a big ball but not this ballsy. You know you are dead if Kimiko-nee or Karen-nee finds you here, right?"
It was Yahiko who was strolling around and found me. He wanted to greet me, but it seems he was shocked by what I was reading. What an innocent kid he is. But I can't risk him to tell either of those two demons.
"Listen here, Yahiko. It seems like you are misunderstanding something. What I am currently doing is important research. And these books are essential for the research." I told Yahiko calmly.
"How are these dirty book will help your research? You think I'm stupid, nii?" Yahiko just didn't believe me at all.
"Yahiko, your dream is to create peace and harmony among people, am I right?" I asked Yahiko.
"Yeah, to create peace and no more wars. But what does that have to do with you reading dirty things and research?"
"Oh, it has a big connection. What I am currently doing is research on women. In order to create peace, you need to understand humans. There are two types of gender in the world, Male and Female. Comprehend both these genders and ground them together wisely, then peace will come easily.
Since you are male, let's just say you know a lot about males, but what about women? Do you dare to say that you understand what they think or how they want to create a future for them?
This is why my research on women is also important to achieving your dream, Yahiko. I suggest you should also research them." I started my bullshitting skills to fool Yahiko.
"Oh, I understand now, nii!! I can't believe I suspected you as a pervert. Sorry nii! From now on, I will also join your study to achieve my dreams closer!!" Yahiko has successfully fallen into my bullshit.
"Ok, that's the spirit. But no one can easily join my research team. I shall give you a test and see whether you pass or not.
Memorize these pick-up lines and say it to flirt with that little girl over there. She seems to be around the same age as you. Let's see if she blushes or not."
"But Genji-nii. This line is just way too mature for me or that girl, don't you think?" Yahiko got embarrassed and hesitated for a bit.
"Is this your dream all amount to? Are you going to give up because of some stupid embarrassing line??"
"No!! Alright, watch me properly, nii. I will make her blush instantly."
Yahiko then walked up to the girl with determination face. The girl saw Yahiko approaching to him.
"Hello, there. You know what? I was blinded by your beauty. I'm going to need your name and address for insurance purposes."
Yahiko smoothly spoke the pick-up line. Yahiko was so red and embarrassed to even look at the girl's eye, but for me, I felt a whole new level of cringe. I also felt bad for Yahiko to put on this kind of situation.
The girl bushed a bit but refused Yahiko.
"Sorry, I appreciate your effort, but I already have a boyfriend!"
'Boyfriend? Boyfriend?!! Damn, this girl ruthlessly cut off Yahiko. I guess pick-up line no.37 is a failure.'
Yahiko got panicked and eye-contacted me instinctively. His eyes were saying: 'Help me, Genji-nii. What should I do? Retreat?'
I looked back at him to tell him my intention.
'No! A MAN should never retreat, Yahiko. Don't give up on stepping closer to your dream. If you are a MAN, then go right in and steal her from her boyfriend!!!! Use Pickup lines no.42 and 45!!'
'EEHH?? That's impossible, Genji-nii. Stealing her from her boyfriend? Isn't that illegal? Besides, I don't think I can even seduce her!!'
'That's why I am telling you to use pickup lines no.42 and 45. Advance now! Don't let that girl beat your determination to reach your dream!!'
'Ok, I will try, nii. Just help me out when it's getting out of control.'
Now all of their eye conversations happened in just a few blinks. Nobody noticed that we were conversing just now.
Yahiko got my intentions and thumbed up a bit to show that he is a man.
"Oh, you got a boyfriend? That is a bit sad for you. Because on a scale of 1 to 10, you are 9. And I am the 1 you need, not your boyfriend." Yahiko tried pickup line no.42.
The girl definitely blushed hard, but at the same time, she pointed her fingers at Yahiko and started to cussing at him. I have no idea whether pickup line no.42 was working or not. She was blushing, but at the same time, mad?
What is this, good and bad effects coming together?
I tried asking the system, but that useless did not answer as expected.
After cussing, the girl just turned around and walked away. But Yahiko didn't give up and chased her. He still had one pickup line in his sleeve.
"I told you I have a boyfriend. Stop chasing me!" The girl spoke.
"I am following you because my parents always told me to follow my dreams." Yahiko pulled out his trump card.
I thought she would blush, but instead, she got super mad and slapped Yahiko in the face and ran away. That was 100% nail in the coffin.
I guess both lines no.42 and 45 are fake, not working. Yahiko just came back to me dejected. I kind of felt sorry for Yahiko to put up on this ridiculous act, so I promised to teach him A-rank ninjutsu and take him to have lunch together.
This was how Yahiko entered the world of hentai.
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(next day)
I was called by Onoki with my Genin team. By judging the Onoki's face, we are getting mission.
"Tschikage-sama, Can you give us some C-rank or B-rank mission? I am sick of D-rank mission." Yahiko complained before Onoki hands out the mission.
"So I heard that you guys are getting bored with the constant D-rank missions. Don't worry, Yahiko. You guys have been Genin for 3 months already. This time I have prepared a B-rank mission just for your team." Onoki replied to Yahiko.
Hearing this, Yahiko jumped out, cheering. Konan and Nagato also showed smiles as they were also starting to get sick of doing D-rank missions.
But for me, I realized what Onoki was trying to say to me. He wants me to get my team used to killings since they are Genins now. They were no longer innocent kids.
"So what is the mission about, old man?" I asked.
"Not a hard one. Kill all the bandits that are disturbing the village near Sunagakure. They would regularly ask the request to Suna, but since they are asking for a higher price in this one, they came to us instead. Just do not cause any trouble in the Suna border, and they will not disturb you." Onoki explained the mission while handing me the map to travel the village.
"You are to leave today afternoon. So be prepared."
"""Yes, Tsuchikage-sama!!!"
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(Kirigakure)
In the Mizukage's office, there was Mizukage and Mei Terumi.
"There is a small mine in the village near Sunagakure. Inside that mine, thousands of tons of chakra metal are found there according to a reliable source. Luckily those Suna bastards haven't noticed yet.
Since our village is the poorest, we need that mine desperately more than anyone. You can bring anyone with you if they are trusted. Your job is to make sure none of Suna or other great village shinobi to know mine existence until we empty those chakra metal. Also, protect bandits, as they will be the ones to excavate the mine."
"Yes, Mizukage-sama!"
"This is a secrete mission, so make sure others won't find about you and others!"
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(Sunagakure)
"Jukan betrayed Sunagakure and ran away from Sunagakure. We can not let Jukan alive. He knows about Suna secret way too much. Pakura, take 10 shinobi and chase him right away. He was seen heading to the small village outside the Suna border. I want him dead and do not even think of returning until you kill him."
"Yes, Kazekage-sama. I will definitely accomplish the mission." Pakure answered.
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(somewhere over the rainbow)
"Hahaha, I see that annoying bastard finally got the mission, outside Iwagakure. On top of that, he is going along with his genin teams. It's perfect for sweer revenge, don't you think, Shizune?"
Tsunade laughed after receiving the information from Jiraiya's spy.
"Tsunade-sama, please take care of your health. You have been drinking since morning." Shizune spoke.
"I don't care! Pack the stuff. This time, I am definitely going to capture that brat."
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[A/N: This won't be a harem, I swear on that.]