Dysfunctional - 8

"I'm starving!" Upon their arrival to the festival, Naruto was already insisting upon food, "Let's get something to eat! They've got great stuff at these festivals!"

The blonde boy led his friends along through the crowd, following his nose, and they sat down at the nearest ramen stand. Predictably, Naruto had chosen a bright, orange yukata in his possession to wear to the festival. Since it looked fairly appropriate, Haku had agreed that it was a wise choice and hurried his teammates along to the fair.

While Gaara and Naruto ordered their ramen, Haku passed out tanzaku strips to each of them. He also urged Naruto to make a wish on one of the paper strips, "Naruto-kun, seriously, I suggest you do make a wish for better penmanship."

"What? Are you saying I write sloppy?"

"Well, yes. Otherwise I wouldn't have given you one."

Naruto looked over to Gaara, who only shrugged, and took a slip of paper from Haku anyway.

While enjoying his food, Naruto looked to Haku who sat beside him and noticed he had delicately folded a turquoise paper crane, "Hey, aren't you going to eat anything Haku-kun? I'll buy you something."

The dark haired boy shook his head, "No thank you, Naruto-kun. I'll eat later."

"What do you have there?"

Haku held up the paper bird, "An Orizuru. It will keep us safe and healthy for the rest of the year."

"Hopefully through the Chunin Exam as well." Gaara added darkly.

"That's what I'm hoping..." Haku admitted.

"We'll ace that exam for sure!" Naruto said confidently after a slurp of noodles, "We've got to be one of the strongest teams in the whole village, right?"

"Second strongest to our team, Naruto."

Surprised, the genin of Team 2 turned around to see Sasuke with Sakura and Kiba beside him. Gaara gave the Uchiha an annoyed look, not liking the notion.

Naruto however was not upset at all, "Hey Sasuke! It's been a while!"

Haku nodded politely to Team 7, "Good evening! I hope you are all enjoying yourselves."

"We are Haku-kun," Sakura smiled, "It's nice to see you three! I figured we'd find you here."

Gaara felt it was odd to see Sakura, their childhood friend, on another team. It didn't look as if she were complaining about it either. Unlike her teammates dressed in dark gray and black she was a vibrant pink, with a floral pattern to match her name. And that hypnotizing hair of hers...was done up elaborately with two sticks.

This was going to be a difficult night.

"I hear that you three are now under the instruction of Jiraiya-sama," Kakashi approached as well, not even glancing up from his book, "I'm sure you must be training very hard."

"Not really," Naruto replied pithily, "Our sensei's a perverted old man who writes trash novels all the time!"

Kakashi smiled, "I'm afraid I have to disagree with that statement, Naruto."

The blonde gave the masked ninja a bothered look before Kiba clarified, "Kakashi-sensei likes trash novels, apparently." He frowned at Naruto, "It's as if all the teachers around here are pervs..."

Kakashi said nothing to deny it either.

Sakura chuckled in embarrassment and attempted to change the subject, "Anyway...have you guys had any interesting missions recently? We just got back from a trade dispute nearby the Hidden Grass Village!"

Haku nodded, "We also returned from a mission a few days ago from the Land of Waves," He paused, concluding that he should skip over the majority of mayhem that occurred, "It was...relatively uneventful."

Gaara and Naruto gave him incredulous looks as they slurped their ramen.

Sasuke didn't fail to notice these exchanged glances, and assumed there may have been some sort of drama, as there usually was on missions. His own team had plenty of drama: with Sakura's wit, Kiba's arrogance, and Kakashi's obsession with Icha Icha Paradise.

Sasuke smirked to himself as his eyes flickered red momentarily. Their most recent C-rank mission had helped him acquire a favorable trait passed down through his clan.

Nearby, a short round of applause caught Kiba's attention, "Whoa! Who's the babe?" Akamaru yappered in agreement from atop his head.

Sakura scowled as all the present males, with the exception of a reading Kakashi, looked off to the far right to where a fairly large crowd of people was gathered. Barely within sight was a girl moving in rhythm with the tune of a shamisen and drums. Even Haku had to admit she was incredibly attractive; with dark doe eyes, a bewitching smile, and long, black hair even more beautiful than his own.

Funnily enough no one recognized her.

Kiba only grinned mischievously, forming ideas.

Kakashi turned a page of his naughty book, "She's off limits, boys. Don't get your hopes up."

Naruto, Gaara and Sasuke didn't seem very much bothered by the news. Even if the mystery girl was a piece of eye-candy they had much better things to do than give chase…and they already preferred other girls. Kiba, on the other hand, was visibly indignant.

"What's that supposed to mean, sensei?" He growled, peeved, "How would you know that anyway?"

There was a sudden, crashing noise as Naruto and Gaara's ramen bowls were spilled over and a very excited, green-clad jounin landed in front of them as if he had dropped out of the sky. Haku had to close his eyes for the shinobi's grin was just too bright

"Why is that marvelously youthful, young flower dancing over yonder out-of-bounds for all of you impure-minded young ninja?" Gai laughed jovially, "She is Maito Tama! My darling niece!"

Haku sighed, hoping that he would've been able to stall for his friends before the day came that they too met the enthusiastic ninja who adored all things 'youthful and fiery.'

Sasuke wore a stoic expression, while Kiba and Sakura seemed to be somewhere between shocked and intrigued. Gaara and Naruto were too busy ordering more ramen to pay attention to Gai.

"Hm? Oh, hello Gai." Kakashi hadn't noticed his presence at all.

"What?" Gai scowled, shaking his fist angrily, "Kakashi, my eternal rival! Your hip-modern attitude is pissing me off! At least acknowledge me in a contest of will if you insist on acting cool!"

Kiba didn't care if he came across as rude, "How the hell can such a beautiful girl like that be related to a freak?"

"Gai's philosophy doesn't run in the family, it seems." The masked ninja flipped another page.

Still Kiba felt like challenging the idea, "Why can't I go without her then? I'm not impure-minded!"

Sakura scoffed at his words, as well as Akamaru, whose bark sounded more like a sarcastic laugh. Even Sasuke looked doubtful.

"She is forbidden to any man in this village," Gai announced, grinning, "Because she is engaged to my eternal rival's beloved nephew!"

Naruto dropped his chopsticks, '...WHAT?'

All heads turned to a nearby stand where Sato stood, laughing blithely alongside his teammates as he participated in a dart-throwing game. Teams 2 and 7 watched in astonishment as the young silver haired ninja won his prizes. He handed a stuffed purple bear to a very annoyed Shino and a pink frog to Hinata who gazed at the plush lovingly.

Sato grinned triumphantly at the Aburame boy and the Hyuga girl, "There you go! For my best pals!"

"Lucky..." Sakura muttered, still unable to believe it.

"That doesn't make sense." Gaara said pointedly, and Naruto and Haku nodded fervently, still shocked.

Sasuke gave a strange look to his teacher, wondering how drunk he must have been to have agreed to such a preposterous idea. Kakashi only shrugged at his students, not peeling his eye away from his dirty novel.

"Wait a minute!" Naruto wasn't at all convinced, having being acquainted already with the younger Hatake, "What the hell are you talking about? Sato's an idiot! How can he be engaged at such a young age?"

"They have been betrothed since birth, Naruto," Gai sighed dreamily in response, "Isn't youth such a wondrous thing?"

Kiba gagged.

The genin turned to the masked ninja, seeking confirmation.

"I believe it was a noodle-eating contest years ago that Gai challenged me to..." Kakashi recalled, "I waged my nephew and Gai waged his spandex...it didn't turn out well."

*

Moaning with discomfort, Kakashi's head impacted the restaurant counter and the attendants looked on in alarm. Beside him were stacks of bowls, 25 of them to be exact, and one in front of him just emptied. He dropped his chopsticks with a clatter.

'...eat...through...the...pain...'

A seat away from him sat his opponent. Gai laughed, sputtering, as he slurped noodles out of his 28th bowl. He grinned down at his defeated rival, and the attendants of the restaurant gasped in unrestrained horror.

"Ha! Youth has prevailed!"

And not a moment later, also past his limits, Gai toppled off of his stool; crashing down to the ground with a loud thud. It was another typical yet pointless contest between Kakashi and his self-proclaimed 'rival.'

A few seats away from them sat Akimichi Chouza, who merely shook his head disapprovingly at the spectacle, "Amateurs..."