Child of the Wind Country - 1

Chapter Soundtrack: "Twice" by Little Dragon

"...I could never love you Gaara, in fact I…I hate you...I hate you for taking her away from me!"

Gaara stood, observing his uncle with disbelieving eyes. How could this be happening? How could this be real?

"Uncle...?"

"Karura never wanted to die...and she's dead because of you! You're the reason my sister is dead!"

Gaara felt tears sting at his light green eyes. His mother...died because of him?

Yashamaru grunted in pain, his body was crushed and his death was drawing ever closer thanks to his red-headed nephew's sand.

"You...you've never known what your name means, have you?" His uncle growled, biting back the agony of his mangled body.

Gaara stood, tears flowing freely down his cheeks. His uncle, the only person he believed had ever cared for him, had tried to assassinate him. But what hurt him more than the idea of Yashamaru himself trying to kill him, were his dying words...

"Gaara: a demon that loves only itself...that's what you are..." Yashamaru spat, glaring at the broken hearted six-year-old.

"Your mother named you that in hopes that if you lived...you would live to curse the village responsible for your creation..."

'A demon? Am I evil?' Gaara was confounded. The news was too much for him to take in all at once.

Yashamaru smirked at his nephew as his eyes drifted shut, "And you know what, Gaara...?"

The red haired boy stood quivering by his uncle, paralyzed with fear and sorrow.

"...Karura was right..."

After a moment, Yashamaru's shuddering body was still and silent. Gaara observed the passing man with narrowed eyes, the tears slowing, as his thoughts swirled in a storm of anguish.

Gaara walked down the street, his feelings deeply hurt...as usual. 'Monster!'

'Why did that boy say that to me?' The red haired child wondered, 'I only wanted to help him...'

He recalled the other children in his village playing ball together. He yearned to join them, to be a part of them and to not have to be alone.

At one point the ball had escaped their grasp, and he only meant to return it to them...

But they were afraid of him; terrified. Some screamed at the mere sight of him. It pained him to hear those shrieks of fear, and watch them scatter like grains of sand in the wind. He never meant to harm anyone, but none of the other children made the effort to get to know him.

Gaara only wished them to stay…to keep him company for whatever time they could spare. When they fled from the ball yard he reached out to them, his sand partially preventing their escape. It was just an innocent gesture, a cry for love that no one understood.

But they were horrified and unwilling to accept his power. Unwilling to accept him. He had hurt the other children when they struggled to flee; he saw it happen, though he would never hurt them intentionally. 'I never meant to…'

Yet Gaara was still determined to prove that they had no reason to fear him, and no reason to run away when he approached.

So he visited the young boy's house in the hopes of apologizing because his injuries had been the worst. He had even brought ointment with the intent of easing his pain. He came to the door and then...

"Monster!" The door quickly slammed shut.

'Why did he say that when I only wanted to help?' Could he ever make a friend?

A moment later he left, walking in contemplative silence down the street.

"You filthy little demon! I saw what you did today! We're all better off without the likes of you!"

Gaara's attention snapped to the man who had berated him. It was salt on a raw wound. He had no desire to be a monster, and he did not view himself as one, but every other person must have seen something different from what Gaara thought he saw in the mirror. 'Why does it have to be this way? Does no one want me? My brother and sister are scared of me! Dad is scared of me! Everyone! Everyone-!'

He had no way to stop it; the pain willed his sand into action, in a violent effort to end his torment. To silence the cutting words. The man barely made one more jeering taunt before sand swiftly wrapped around him. Moments before rationality reinstated itself, the confrontation was over. Gaara killed that man on the street and no one had seen him do it.

It was a horrific sight and as Gaara came out of his rage he quickly realized his crime. Was it right to defend oneself if the assault went straight to the heart? He fled, wishing there was a welcoming place to go. He left the man dead in the alleyway, secretly praying that he had not proved his cruel words true.

'Gaara: a demon that loves only itself...'

The words thundered in his ears, the last words of his beloved uncle. The person he had killed in defense of his life.

Gaara felt a distant roar inside him, coaxing him to let go, to stop trying to understand how unjust the world was.

'I'm alone...I'll always be alone.'

His insides burned. It hurt: the inescapable pain of reality.

You don't need these worthless humans...

Gaara felt his heart miss a beat. 'What was that voice?' So placating, and yet savagery and bitterness stitched into every fiber of its voice.

'Is it me? Or is it what's inside of me?' Gaara could no longer ignore the words of the tailed-beast imprisoned within him.

We are all that matter now, they mean nothing...

Gaara clapped his hands over his ears, futilely attempting to ignore the barbarous voice.

"No!" Gaara cried, "Leave me alone! I'm…I'm not a monster!"

The thing...he could feel it grinning.

Of course you are! Why else would they treat you so unfairly?

"No!" Gaara sank to his knees.

For a moment it was quiet, and then the voice returned, louder and more aggressive than before.

Let me out! I can save us. We can be free...make them suffer for what they've done!

"No! I won't hurt anyone else! Never again!" Gaara staggered to his feet, still covering his ears.

Despite his pleas and protests, inside, he felt himself giving in. He felt the brutality of the thing within him soothe him, somehow making it seem alright to kill; to inflict pain on others.

Let me out.

"No!" Gaara was screaming, running down the street with a newfound speed. His eyes fell upon the open gates of his village, and then...the people. Those lining the sides of the road, faces familiar and unfamiliar…all of the people in Suna that caused him such grief.

Make them suffer!

Sand whirled threateningly around his feet, with no way for Gaara to control it. The boy's legs were quaking, his small hands raking wildly at his locks of crimson hair.

The struggle was at its peak, and Gaara felt himself slipping, letting the thing within him gain more control. And its influence was also somewhat appeasing...the strength and power...it was so overwhelming to feel it course through his small body.

"No..." Gaara stumbled to his knees again, sobbing, and giving in.

It's alright... The demon purred, After they're all dead...you'll still have me, It smiled, And I won't leave you alone.

'I don't want to be alone...'

Gaara looked up with an inexplicable grin on his face. The tailed-beast's power was euphoric.

He felt a feral growl of triumph escape his throat, a laugh that Gaara was sure was not his.

Suddenly, justification was abundant. It was refreshing. It was alright to kill others simply because they deserved it. His life mattered more than anyone else's. They would feel all of the pain and misery that they had inflicted upon him.

Gaara's grin grew wider, and he gave his full attention to the beast inside of him.

Gaara's fussing had attracted a lot of attention. A few people looked over at him with concern. That concern was reserved mainly for themselves.

Kill them all.

The red haired boy stood up, his spindly legs steady beneath him. His sand circled around him, awaiting his command.

Then there were two faces…faces he knew very well. They held some sort of value to him: value that the voice had tried to get him to ignore.

'Wait...I know them...' Gaara hesitated, desperately trying to recall the two children he saw standing at the far end of the road, staring at him with alarm.

They don't matter! Kill them!

'No! I know them!'

A girl with light blonde hair watched him worriedly, her brother standing beside her. Gaara watched as his name soundlessly crossed her lips in confusion.

'Temari? Kankuro?'

Kill them now!

Gaara understood why he faltered at the sight of them. 'My brother and my sister...'

They don't care about you.

Gaara felt a twinge of electric pain course through him. 'Maybe that's so but...I care. I won't hurt them...'

Gaara felt Shukaku rattle his insides in fury, and radiate a huge burst of chakra, startling many of the nearby shinobi.

Do as I say!

Demonic strength consumed his body, and a whirlwind of sand then encircled him. The young boy felt his teeth gnash in immense effort as he endeavored to restrain the power and bloodlust rising within.

He then realized that this power would not be easily stopped.

'I won't let you hurt them, not anymore!'

Gaara panicked as the tailed-beast howled viciously inside of his head, willing his feet to move. He felt himself slowly approaching his fellow villagers, hands raised, sand flying at them, knocking them away.

Temari and Kankuro stood motionless; horrified.

He heard the cries for any sand nin to stop him, by any means. Gaara watched in fear as kunai and shuriken flew towards him, glinting menacingly in the daylight.

Shukaku laughed.

A barrier of sand repelled every weapon, while the rest of the sand was busy at work crushing any other shinobi. He was hurting them...again.

Is this why they hated him? Because of this power? The power he couldn't control?

'I don't want them to hate me...'

Gaara gazed sadly at his older siblings as the cowered helplessly on the sidelines. His heart wrenched and for a moment, he felt his will suddenly severe his connection with Shukaku. The sand dropped to the ground and time slowed down.

'I will find a way to control it, and then they won't have to be afraid. Then I won't have to be alone ever again.'

His mind was set and fully focused.

'Then I will leave...and I will come back…when I'm safe for them.'

Gaara found the strength he needed, and in a whirlwind of sand he departed from Suna.

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