My Father

Adah's P.O.V

I came home to an empty house, home huh? I let out a sarcastic laugh. To be honest, I never considered this my home. It was never a home to me. Your own home is supposed to be your safe space, but to me, it was the place I dreaded putting a foot on.

I washed my face and started looking for anything that my mom made for dinner. I found two closed containers on the tabletop. As I was about to serve myself some food, I saw my father enter the house. I froze dead in my tracks like I had heard a wild animal growl. I didn't even dare look at him.

"Serve me some food and bring it into the living room," he said in his stern, raspy voice. This tone was specifically reserved for me. I placed my plate aside and made him a plate of food. Without saying a word, I took my food to my bedroom and locked myself in. My only thought during the entire time was that he should have gone to sleep by the time I finished.

After I was done eating, I came out to wash the dishes and there he was, watching television with a bowl of freshly cut fruit in his hand and my ID card in another. He looked at me with piercing eyes. I desperately wanted to look the other way, but I felt as if I was held as a prisoner in his gaze. With an angry tone in his voice, he said: "Why do you look like a whore in your ID picture?"

I couldn't say a thing. At the same time, I watched my mom and brother enter the house. They both sensed the tense atmosphere. My mom left for the kitchen, and my brother ran to his room. 'Cowards,' everyone in this family is a coward.

"I will make sure to change it tomorrow," I said, almost in a whisper. "Do you go to whore around or to study? Do you want me to stop your education? Am I too lenient on you?" I shook my head 'NO,' but I could already feel the tears welling in my eyes. He threw the ID card on the ground. I picked it up and ran to my room. I slowly closed my door and locked it, got in my bed, covered myself up completely, and started sobbing. I wanted to scream but I couldn't.

I was crying so hard that I couldn't catch my breath. I thought I was choking. At a point, I felt as if someone was clenching my heart from the inside like someone squeezed the life out of it. I wrapped my hands around myself and got completely lost in my thoughts. I was so scared of what was going to happen today because of what happened 3 weeks ago.

3 weeks back

I was having the worst cramps of my entire life due to my periods. I didn't feel any relief even when I took medications, I was rolling painfully on my bed and groaning. I went up to my mom to tell her about the tormenting pain that my cramps were causing me, and her only response to that was: "You are not the only person who experiences cramps. Grow up and deal with the pain." She said and left for work.

I had no idea what else I could do because the doctor's clinic is almost a mile away and I cannot walk there in this condition. So, I hopped into my bed and started searching YouTube videos I thought might help. Halfway into the video, I heard a knock on my door. I got up and opened the door, but before I could understand what was happening, I was thrown on the floor by my father and he started kicking me with his leg. One kick to my stomach and one kick to my face, that's all it took for me to start crying and asking what I did wrong. But he kept beating me without any explanation. I felt a tight slap on my face and a book thrown at me. All I could do was shout, "Please stop!!! I am not well, I am sorry for whatever I did. Please stop!! I feel dizzy." That is when the beating stopped.

He came right in front of my face and almost spat: "I called you 5 times. Can't you just say a simple yes? How can you be this disrespectful to your father? You weren't studying so why can't you answer me? Were you talking to your boyfriend?" He snatched my phone which was lying on the ground and started going through all the messages. I was not worried about getting caught. I only talked to my friends and even then I deleted messages that seemed out of place. After almost 15 minutes, he threw the phone down which caused the screen to crack. I was laying there taking the support of the sofa because right now I couldn't feel anything, not my thoughts and not my body. The pain from the cramps with the pain from the beatings was insufferable.

After he left, I got up and picked up my cracked phone. I got into my bed and called my mom to tell her what happened. All she said was: "It was your fault that you pissed him off. He loves you so much, but you always find a way to piss him off." And she hung up. I lay there crying and then I fainted.

In the present

After I remembered that incident, all I wanted to do was cry and hug someone, but who could I hug? No one other than my brother and mother knew about it, and they were of no help. My mom she just says "It's your fault" and moves on. I was never wanted in this family. I was a piece of a puzzle that never fit in. I was never supposed to be born as their daughter. I remember my mom saying "I almost died giving birth to you and all of that for nothing" I was sent to my grandparents to raise because my mom said she wanted to focus on her career. So that's where I grew up half of my life. That's the reason I love my grandparents more than anything in this world, and they love me. But they have no idea about my father being abusive. I never told them because I knew he would kill me if I said anything to anyone. And I can't leave because I want to complete my education and leave this hellhole once and for all. But to complete my education, I require money so I can't do anything but stay and face this torture.

I heard my parents say that they never wanted a girl and my brother was their dream child. One could just look at us and say which child is the favourite one. He goes to one of the most expensive schools in the city. He was given a phone by my father before I got a phone, and I was 3 years older than him. I got my first phone as a gift from my grandparents. They pay for all his expenses, and I have to pay all of my expenses from the money that my grandparents transfer me every month so that I can spoil myself. But who is going to tell them that I am trying to cover my data bill, transport, and food with that money? Sometimes I make money by tutoring students in exam season because my parents stopped paying for my stuff as soon as I hit 16. I remember everything and I felt so helpless. I could do nothing but cry and hope this would end soon. It was so pathetic that I felt sympathy for myself, surrounded by my hurtful thoughts I didn't know when sleep overtook me and eased my pain.