webnovel

Gotham's Dead End Bar

Step 1: Be a serial reincarnator. Step 2: End up in Gotham with Death of the Endless. Step 3: Open a neutral-ground bar for heroes and villains. Step 4: ??? Step 5: Profit. Don't go into this story expecting something serious or (grim)dark. This isn't that kind of story and that's not what I'm trying to do here. This is a story about a bartender telling crazy stories about his time in the multiverse to the villains and heroes of DC. It's practically crack, about two steps removed from a fix-it fic. There is a plot (eventually, the beginning chapters are pretty slice-of-life heavy) but it's never going to be some grand tale of tragedy. In the same lane, don't expect the same Batman/Bat Family that you might be used to. No paranoiax10, dark, and gritty 'Batman can't be/have fun!' Batman. My Batman is more in line with the 'Batdad' concept or the animated series Batman. Also, this is kind of an AU. Not in any major way but some of the story might not match up perfectly with the DC canon continuity. I'm going for a static DC universe. So characters and their backstories are set but I'll be avoiding the major plot points of the comics (Dark Multiverse, Infinite Frontier, etc.) Pat reon.com/dryskies_btb for early chapters. 370k words are already available there.

Daddy · Anime und Comics
Zu wenig Bewertungen
66 Chs

45: To Spark a Star

The evacuation of everyone who mattered from the Psion homeworld was a tedious affair. Fortunately, Blackfire had brought more than enough ships to hold all of the former prisoners. And to be fair to her, she didn't slack off in her assumed duties at all.

If Kori was the figurehead — the beacon of hope that people looked up to —, Blackfire was the leader you actually wanted running things. She was ruthless and callous at times but also efficient, with a good head for logistics and command. She'd never be the same 'force of nature' leadership personality that Kori was but Blackfire had her own charm as a leader.

Getting the prisoners away from the planet they were imprisoned on would have been important no matter what. It was doubly so considering Raven and I still had a ritual to enact.

The rest of the Psion homeworld must have been scrambling to respond to the prison break. If they'd even heard about it, that is. I wouldn't put it past this sadistically sociopathic race to keep everything they could to themselves, even if that 'everything' was an entire science/prison facility and system-wide kidnapping ring. But even if they didn't get 'prison break alarms', the rest of the planet certainly noticed the Tamarean war fleet hanging above their heads.

There were some light aerial skirmishes to keep the fleet safe as the many transfer trips for the freed prisoners took place. But overall, it wasn't anything to truly worry about. The rest of the Psions seemed more than content to let the other members of their race dig their own graves and lie in them.

Honestly, I didn't expect any better from them. I wasn't about to complain about the free opportunity they gave us though. Kori slumbered peacefully in my arms, making herself at home there as if she belonged — to be fair, she was a damn perfect fit. Her sister ran around directing the Tamarean aid efforts — putting people where they needed to go and making arrangements now that the action had died down. And Raven got to meet my self-declared BEST FRIEND (!!)…

It went about as well as one might expect from two completely opposite personalities like her and Savage.

"HAHAHA! This is a splendid prison break!" Savage laughed. "Man and beast, working together for their freedom! Simply spectacular!"

"Loud…" Raven muttered flatly. "Too loud."

Her inner voice agreed in more words, "Yeah, I guess I can kind of respect his Passion but there's such a thing as 'too much', you know?"

"Ah, my apologies, Little False Demoness," Savage lowered his voice but his wild smile didn't wane an inch. "I do realize my voice can be a bit much for young ears. I shall endeavor to moderate myself!"

Raven shot him a sharp, flat glare, "Don't. Call me that."

"Understandable," Savage nodded obligingly. "Do you prefer Huginn or Muninn?"

"Neither. I don't need a nickname from you," Raven shot him down.

"Herald of Death?" Savage tried one last time despite her refusal.

"… Shit, I actually kind of like that one," Raven mumbled to herself under her breath, barely audible. After a moment of consideration, she nodded. "Fine. You can call me 'Herald of Death'."

"I certainly wouldn't mind heralding Didi's 'coming'~" Raven's other half gave a sultry chuckle that only Raven and I could hear.

Raven did her best to ignore her mirrored soul but I couldn't contain my honest snort of laughter. She glared at me. I grinned knowingly back at her. Eventually, she twitched and broke her one-sided glaring contest.

"… Are we almost done here?" She asked.

"Hmm, looks like it," I hummed, barely bothering to hide my amusement. "All that's left is to kickstart the ritual and deal with these loathsome lizards for good."

Savage raised an intrigued eyebrow, "Ritual?"

"We're going to be… relocating the Psions to somewhere they can't cause any more problems," I explained.

"More like we're going to shove the whole fucking planet into another system altogether. I can't wait," Raven deadpanned.

That certainly piqued Savage's interest, "Hoh~? Now, that sounds like a good time! Very well, Sean! We shall postpone our plundering and pirating so you may enact your ritual!"

"Gee, thanks," I matched Raven's deadpan tone. "You're so generous."

"Haha! I am, aren't I~?!" Savage grinned, utterly ignoring my sarcasm.

Raven snorted, "Okay, yeah. I can see how he would grow on you."

"Whatever," I sighed. "Let's just get this show over with."

"Should…" Raven hesitated for a moment. "Should we maybe warn someone what's about to happen…?"

I smirked, "Where would the fun be in that~?"

"God dammit, Sean…" She muttered in short-suffering exasperation. She was already growing painfully familiar with my antics.

Chuckling, I went about starting the ritual. A mental switch flipped in my mind. A trigger connected to the ungodly complex circle Raven and I had crafted. Without any major fanfare — at least at first —, the ritual began.

While the initial few moments of the ritual were without any noticeable signs, it quickly kicked into gear and made itself known to the universe. The magical tap I'd put within the distant star pumped power into the ritual by the fuckload. The whole planet below us glowed as the ghostly imprint of a Red Giant was superimposed upon it.

Even slightly out of phase with the physical world, the waves of magic from the ritual rocked the Tamarean war fleet. Magical pressure weighed down the immediate surroundings, likely felt across the whole system and beyond. Reality wavered, unsure of what exactly it should be doing. The ritual gave it the direction it needed.

With a slow and weighty chugging clunk, the Psion homeworld was… displaced. One moment, it was there, in the same relative orbit it had stayed for billions of years. The next, it was gone as if it never was. Magic flowed and our ritual instructed the universe to rewrite itself, causality be damned. Reality itself seemed to go 'ahh' in realization as if remembering the way things 'should' have been and acting to rectify a wrong that never was.

And at the center of the universe, a group of stuck-up, self-righteous, beyond-arrogant group of Guardians experienced a sudden rude visit from their distant past. Let those pricks figure out how to deal with the Psions. Honestly, the justice was practically poetic. They created the damned lizards in the first place, after all.

Raven let out a low, lewd, and lustful groan as the fruits of our labor changed the very fabric of reality, "Hnnnnnnnnnnnggg~."

Even Savage was struck silent by the ritual's effect at that moment, "My word…"

The sudden absence of an entire planet was overwhelming and jarring. The ritual also seemed to have a curious effect on the Tamarean race. Most likely because of how it was initially powered if I had to guess. It probably would have had a similar effect on Kryptonians.

The ghost of a star had been brought into being below us ever so briefly. It didn't burn with the physical effects of a star. But the conceptual and magical weight of the celestial furnace was brought along with it. For a few fleeting instants, every Tamarean in range was given a monumental dose of pure conceptual STAR. Even just the residual power that leaked out of the ritual was enough to vastly exceed their sun's usual helping of solar energy.

Our 'little' ritual had just accidentally supercharged all Tamareans in a few hundred million-mile radius. Probably didn't hurt the energy beings like Awl and Xia either. Actually, the energy beings would probably look at whoever pulled that off as gods… I might not immediately admit to Raven and my involvement when I saw them again.

Kori especially was exceptionally attuned to the concept of Star Fire. Names, even epithets weren't something to be taken lightly. A Tamarean named Starfire…? Well, that was just asking for some powerful conceptual interactions.

She began to glow in my arms as the residual effects of the ritual hit her. A damn impressive amount of power streamed into her to be absorbed, made all the more effective by just how exhausted she currently was. She let out an adorable little moan and giggle in her sleep and began to stir.

Blackfire burst into the observation room Raven, Savage, and I had been using to watch the ritual, "What the FUCK did you assholes do?!"

Kori sprung straight up in my arms, more than revitalized by the Tamarean supercharging even as her sister glared at us, "I am of the awakeness! What did I miss, what did I miss~?"

Both of the sisters were glowing from the accidental supercharging. Blackfire had a halo of black fire and Kori had a halo of green flames around her. She was practically bouncing in my arms to burn off her sudden influx of energy. Something that did VERY fun things to all the wonderfully soft parts of her I currently enjoyed intimate (if over the clothes) contact with.

"Ah… Whoops?" I chuckled awkwardly.

"Whoops…?" Blackfire growled. "Whoops?! Where's the fucking planet, asshole?! And why do I feel like I could actually win against the barbarian all of a sudden?!"

"I welcome any new challenges!" Savage declared.

"Shut up, Savage," Blackfire glowered. "I'll get to you. Right now, I'm more concerned about the idiot who vanished a whole! Fucking! Planet!"

"Sister!" Kori gasped. "There is no need for so much of the anger! We are all the bestest of friends here~!"

"To be fair, vanishing the planet was done on purpose," I casually defended myself. "Back me up here, Raven."

A slight smirk crossed Raven's lips, "No, I don't think I will. I'll just stand back and enjoy the show from here."

I sighed, "Wonderful. Well, the point is, there's nothing to worry about. We just peacefully solved the Psion problem by relocating their homeworld far, far away from the Vega system."

Kori cocked her head up at me in confusion and Blackfire just stared, "… Do you REALIZE how ridiculous what you just said sounded?"

"He doesn't," Raven interjected flatly, amusement thick in her monotone.

"I thought you weren't going to help," I grumbled slightly, glancing at her.

Her lips twitched into even more of a smirk, "I'm not. I'm throwing you under the bus. It's hilarious."

I rolled my eyes back to Blackfire in exasperation, "It's not 'THAT' bad. Hasn't everyone moved a planet or two in their day?"

Kori innocently shook her head. Blackfire's eye twitched. Savage just laughed.

"Nay! It is something I shall have to rectify! I cannot have my favorite rival showing me up like this! And since you accomplished this feat by magic, Sean, I shall accomplish it with naught by pure physical strength! Hahaha!"

"… I think I hate all of you," Blackfire said, her eye twitching again so hard it looked like it hurt.

"No, Sister!" Kori gasped, painfully earnest and wholesome. "Do not give in to the hate! I still love you! There is still the hope!"

"Just…" Blackfire groaned, dragging an angry hand down her face. "Just get out of here. I don't want to deal with you people anymore."

"Not so fast, my Queenly Mate!" Savage declared. "Do not be — as the children are saying — 'a bitch'!"

Raven stared at him in blank-faced disbelief, "… What."

"Sister?" Kori cocked her head curiously. "Have you found the lover?

Blackfire blushed and sputtered in anger and flustered embarrassment, "S-Shut up, barbarian! You don't get to just call me that without earning it!"

"Later," Savage dismissed. "Right now, my friend owes me a proper pirating plunder adventure. And I intend to bring you with us! Leave your work to your trusted subordinates! For we are going to have FUN!"

"Savage," I drawled flatly. "You can't just kidnap the Queen of Tamaran."

"Watch me!"

"Okay, let me rephrase that. You 'shouldn't' kidnap the Queen of Tamaran."

"Just try and stop me!"

I paused… and then shrugged, "Sorry, Blackfire. Looks like you're coming along."

Blackfire looked momentarily torn between protest, outrage, and the prospect of getting out of her queenly responsibilities for a little while. Eventually, Savage's offer of 'fun' won out and she just grumbled, "Assholes…"

"How wonderful~!" Kori clapped, suddenly repositioning herself in my arms so she somehow ended up upside down and perfectly content with the new position. "We will have the sisterly bonding while pirating of the plunder~!"

"Oh, God…" Raven muttered. "Space Pirate Kori… The universe isn't ready."

"Fine," Blackfire finally spat her agreement, spinning to point menacingly at Savage. "But you get to tell my royal guards, barbarian! And I expect some action on this trip!"

"Action of which kind, pray tell?" Savage asked earnestly and inquisitively.

"Yes!" Blackfire exclaimed, seemingly before she could stop herself. She paused for a moment then decided to simply own her hasty slip of the tongue, "… You better give the fight and fuck of my life, bastard. Again…"

"Yes, you tell him of this, Sister~!" Kori cheered.

"I believe I can handle the 'fuck' part on my own but…" Savage trailed off, turning to me. "Will we encounter noteworthy opponents during this plunder, my friend?"

"I don't know," I smirked. "If we raided a dragon's hoard, would you call that a worthy opponent?"

Savage's grin widened, practically to the edges of his face, "Ohohoh~? Sean, you always know just what to say to stoke my anticipation! Spectacular! It has been more than a millennium since I last conquered such a legendary beast!"

"There's a dragon in the Vega system?" Raven asked, raising a brow.

"Something like that," I chuckled, leading them all on. "You'll see what I mean soon enough…"

IIIII

"Great Goddess X'Hal…" Blackfire muttered in quiet awe.

"Damn," Raven was similarly stunned.

"How curious," Kori tilted her head to one side.

Savage grinned like a fool, "You certainly did not disappoint this time, Sean my friend…!"

"Thank you," I whispered. "I try."

We were all keeping our voices down to not wake the beast — the dragon in the room. Sneaking Blackfire away from her responsibilities had been easy. After telling them what we were doing Blackfire's royal guards had simply nodded their approval. They understood that we were trying to get their queen to unwind. Luxa'y and Shin'a had quickly given us their blessing to spend some time adventuring, especially with Savage staying near their queen in order to help sire the next generation of the royal family.

The rest of the refugee arrangements were left in the capable hands of Blackfire's royal underlings. After the accidental supercharging, the Tamareans had more than enough energy to take care of that entire situation all in one go at the moment. So their Queen and Freedom Fighting Princess were 'excused', encouraged to take some time for leisure after everything they'd done for their people.

From there, we set out to sail the stars. That'd been a lot of fun, though Blackfire would likely never agree with that statement. Savage and I taught the girls how to sail. Kori had taken to it like a fish to water, even begging me to temporarily conjure her up a tricorn pirate's hat, eyepatch, and cutlass.

I obliged. Because it was adorable and hilarious.

We sailed from the place the Psion homeworld 'used' to be to another planet in the Vega system. Okaara, the ancestral home of the Tamarean progenitor goddess X'Hal. More relevantly, the lair and hoard of the Orange Light of Avarice.

When I said 'raiding a dragon's hoard', I was being somewhat metaphorical. Larfleeze — the lone Orange Lantern — did kind of look like a dragon… if that dragon was covered in fur and half horse. But I'd been referring more toward his nature than his appearance. He was a greedy being, overwhelmingly so. Avarice flowed through his veins, sustaining him. If anything, he embodied the covetous gluttony of Avarice better than the dragons of Earth's myths and legends did.

He also happened to be even more powerful than the dragons of myth and legend. No power ring of the emotional spectrum was anything to scoff at. The Orange Ring was even less so. Due to the greedy nature of Avarice, there could only be one true Orange Lantern at a time. They hoarded all of the power to themself. An entire section of the emotional spectrum answered to one being and one being alone: Larfleeze.

Our little plunder party slipped beneath the surface of Okaara, sneaking into and through the many, many labyrinthian caverns that made up Larfleeze's hoard. There, we found riches beyond comprehension. Greed beyond reason and moderation.

Parts of the caverns were seemingly carved entirely from gold. Veins upon veins of the stuff, enough to found and fund entire nations. Other parts of the caverns were carved from other precious metals. Platinum, silver, and gems that sparkled like stars overhead. There were even caches of the more mystical materials that could be found in this universe. Nth Metal, Orichalcum, and even the purest form of matter and creation in Element X.

"Even a finger of half of this stuff could buy the entire Vega system," Blackfire whispered in shock, almost horror.

Then there was everything else we saw in the dragon's hoard. Unbreakable, impossible alloys. Weapons to kill a god — hoarded away so that they would never see the light of day again. Artifacts from every world and alien culture that one could think of. Even people, who were kept in stasis or made into thralls of the Orange Light.

The Orange Hoard was enough to rival even my collection. If not in individual quality, then in sheer quantity. While I had tokens and trophies of my multiversal travels through existence, Larfleeze had a little bit of everything from this universe and even some of the local multiverse.

Savage laughed, quiet but not understated, "I don't even know where to start…! Truly, everything here would make for a sufficient plunder."

"Just start grabbing stuff," I suggested. "I'll make us a little plunder pocket. We'll take what we can get. We'd better be quick about it though. Stealing from the Avatar of Greed…"

Raven picked up where I trailed off, her voice almost droll, "When you put it that way, this sounds like a disastrous idea."

"But fun," I grinned unrepentantly back at her.

"I am not typically the biggest fan of the stealing…" Kori worried at her lower lip. "On the other hand, I believe that is the goddess X'Hal right there."

"What?!" Blackfire abruptly spun to look where Kori was pointing. "… Oh, holy fuck. Fuck. Alright, fuck. Change of plans. We're rescuing our goddess now."

"A worthy quest!" Savage declared. "I shall gladly join you so I may conquer and breed your people's goddess as well, Queen!"

Blackfire glared at him, "I'm going to ignore that blasphemy for now because I need your help. But you don't get to just say that, you barbarian bastard!"

"You all do that," I said, eying the rest of the riches around us. "I'm just going to… window shop for a moment. Just a little bit. You never know when you might need some Element X…"

"Go on, I'll keep an eye on him," Raven sighed.

For a moment, Blackfire looked torn by the tempting call of the rest of the hoard. Then her gaze came back to her shackled goddess in stasis and her determination firmed. She nodded, taking Kori and Savage to accomplish her self-imposed mission.

"Give it to me straight, Sean. How screwed are we if the 'dragon' wakes up and finds us in his hoard?" Raven asked.

"Eh, we'll be fine," I waved dismissively. "Though he will be ungodly pissed. We might have to fight a bit to make a hasty escape. But with all of us? He won't be anything we can't handle with some effort."

"Great," Raven deadpanned. "I've always wanted to fight a Lantern. Not."

I chuckled at her snark and continued profiling what exactly I was going to plunder. I didn't take anything just yet. Wouldn't want to give the game away to Larfleeze before the others were ready. No doubt he'd notice the moment any of his hoard was taken from his control. The others were going to trip that alarm anyway and I'd plunder my fill after it was already too late to continue being sneaky.

Raven fell silent beside me, seemingly struggling with something internally. I let her, not even eavesdropping on the conversation in her soul. Eventually, she settled her resolve.

"… So," Raven drawled slowly, her voice concealing a hint of nerves. "Kori kissed you."

"She did," I nodded matter-of-factly. "Do you have a problem with that?"

"Yes," She confirmed bluntly, pushing through her blush. "I'm jealous."

"I see."

"You see…?"

"Yep, I see."

Raven scoffed in frustration, "Dick. Say something then."

"You could kiss me too," I simply said. "I don't mind."

My open invitation made it Raven's turn for a non-answer, "… I see."

I chuckled, "I feel like we're going in circles here."

"So it seems…" Raven muttered softly.

I left her to her thoughts again for a few moments. The dragon's hoard was more than enough to keep me partially occupied. And this was something Raven had to work through herself. I had no problem taking the lead but I felt that taking the first step for herself would be good for Raven and her confidence.

"Hey, do you think this… Is this an Nth Metal nuke…? Huh, cool. Do you think it'd look good in The Dead End? I kind of want to see the reactions it'll get-…" I chuckled.

Raven stepped up in front of me abruptly, cutting me off mid-casual-subject-change. Her expression was flat and determined. The same weathered steel and unbroken hope that things couldn't be as bad as they seemed that attracted me to her when we first met. She'd made up her mind, it seemed. Judging by the hope on her face being 'hope' and not 'certainty', she was nervous her decision would turn out badly. Yet she persevered.

I gave her a soft smile, halfway to a teasing smirk, "… I see."

That helped break Raven's nerves. A small, small smile emerged on her lips and she rolled her eyes at me fondly, "Asshole."

Still, it seemed to give her the confidence to take that last step forward. She came into my personal space, staring up at me with seemingly impassive, searching eyes. I gave her a little nod and began leaning down. Raven screwed her eyes shut in anticipation and firm resolve.

Her inner voice showed her nerves more clearly, practically hyperventilating within Raven's soul, "Oh God, oh God, oh God! It's happening, it's happening! I'm so ready! Oh, God, no I'm not! W-Wait, I'm not ready! H-How do you kiss again~?"

I did Raven the favor of shutting her right up. My lips pressed against hers. She made a surprised sound, unable to see me coming with her eyes closed. Then she just about melted into a puddle immediately.

Raven's body molded to mine, clinging as closely as she possibly could to my warmth. Her hands came up to rest on my chest. I could feel her hips grinding unconsciously, trying to as much physical contact as I could give her. Her soft lips let out breathless mewls and moans into our kiss.

I took it slow to start, letting her get accustomed to the sensations. Knowing her self-imposed chains before meeting me, this was likely Raven's first kiss. With firm hands around her waist — something that made her whimper — I directed her to follow my lead. Her body quickly figured out what to do, her mind — the other half of her soul — suspiciously silent for once.

Once Raven got a taste, she was ravenous. She couldn't get enough. She pushed herself up even further into the kiss, trying to smother me with her lips. Her hands clutched adorably at my shirt as if holding on for dear life. Her lips parted in an invitation, practically begging to suck on my tongue.

With iron control and long practice, I coaxed her back down before she could completely lose herself. This wasn't the time or place for that. Raven let out a keening whine as I brought our kiss to a close. She didn't move back an inch as we finally separated.

Finally, Raven opened her eyes to stare up at me, a masterpiece painting of emotions laid bare in her eyes, "Sean…"

"Not bad for a first kiss, eh~?" I teased and smiled.

An almost angry lust flashed across her face and she lunged up to kiss me again, "Mmph!"

My hands on her hips stopped her from going anywhere, holding her firmly in place as I chuckled, "Woah there, beautiful. Remember where we are, yeah?"

Raven paused, visibly stopping her emotions from running out of control, "… This isn't over."

"Wouldn't dream of it," I promised. "I'm just as excited to continue as you are."

"… For some reason, I doubt that," Raven mumbled.

I laughed softly at that, "I think you'd be surprised, Raven. I think we work pretty damn well together. And as you might have noticed, I have a bit of a thing for goth girls."

"I have a thing for you… Daddy…" Raven whispered, almost as if she was scared for me to truly vocalize her desires for some scarring 'emotional control trauma' reason…

I gave her waist a little squeeze, loving the way she jumped slightly beneath my hands and stared up at me in delicious goth surprise. A lopsided grin made her shudder involuntarily, "I think I can work with that~."

"Only, you know," I continued. "When we aren't in the middle of a dragon's hoard. Or about to be turned to a fine mist by the Orange Lantern. Hold tight, by the way."

Raven looked confused at my casual tone. I couldn't help but chuckle as I spun us out of the spot we'd been standing in. Just in time for the previous space to be obliterated by a blast of concentrated Orange Light.

Despite the sudden danger, I kept us in the same position relative to each other, Raven pressed firmly up against me. She blinked at me and then blinked at the destruction we'd just avoided. It took a moment for her mind to process and switch back to serious mode. When she did, she glared fiercely at where the energy blast had come from.

"We. Were. Having. A. Moment!" She shouted at the offending dragon. She paused and glanced back at me for a moment, "… I think?"

I nodded, "We were. That was very rude, Larfleeze. I think you've made an enemy for life out of my beautiful goth friend here."

"YOU TRY TO TAKE WHAT'S MINE! I WILL DESTROY YOU ALL!" Larfleeze screeched, more like a banshee than a dragon.

"Well, if you're going to be like that," I shrugged. "I don't see why I shouldn't just take even more. Yoink."

"WHAT?! NO, STOP THAT! NO YOINKIES!"

"Hmm, no. No, I don't think I will. Yoink."

"NOOO! NOT MY LIMITED-EDITION, MINT-CONDITION KRYPTONIAN SCI-SUPERSTITION EXHIBITION! I'LL KILL YOU!"

"… What?" Raven's anger was instantly brought up short by Larfleeze's strangely rhyming hoard piece.

"Yeah," I nodded. "That was kind of impressive. Still not going to stop though. Yoink."

"AAAAGGGGHHH! WHAT'S MINE IS MINE, AND MINE AND MINE, AND MINE AND MINE AND MINE! NOT YOURS!"

Like a swooping dragon, he dove at us. Raven tried to bat him aside with her shadow. She only partially succeeded, the effectiveness limited by his searing, greedy Orange Light. It was enough for us to avoid his second attack as he carved a shocking scar through his own hoard — collateral damage that most likely did his fragile mental state no favors.

"Damn, I think you managed to make him more mad than we did," Blackfire commented as we regrouped with the others.

"It's kind of what Sean does," Raven deadpanned.

"The praise and congratulations, Friend Raven!" Kori squealed excitedly. "I saw that you and Friend Sean had the kiss of firsts! It is simply wonderful, is it not~?"

"Not the time, Kori," Raven said, looking away to hide her blush. "… But thank you."

"Did you get your goddess?" I asked.

"We did," Blackfire grunted. "Unfortunately, she's already taken a liking to Savage."

Savage grinned proudly, holding a woman of pure star fire in a bridal carry in his arms as if it were nothing, "Haha! Savage ALWAYS wins!"

The goddess X'Hal was obviously still loopy and dazed from her time in stasis, cooing over Savage and stroking his cheek with her flaming hands, "Mmmm~ Mommy likes a big, strong, PASSIONATE boy~…"

"Fucking barbarian bastard," Blackfire grumbled under her breath.

"Great. Well, I've got everything I wanted from this. Should we just make our escape?"

"None of the fighting?" Kori asked, innocently cocking her head.

I cringed slightly, "Honestly, I kind of feel bad for him. He's clearly a very broken being, bearing the weight of an entire Emotion all by himself. The plunder here was good but he was kind of minding his own business before we came along. I don't think I really want to beat him up on top of stealing from him."

"Yes," Savage frowned. "He is not the worthy dragon I thought he would be. There is no glory in breaking an already broken man."

"Fine," Blackfire agreed testily. "But you still owe me a good fucking fight after this, Savage!"

"Undoubtedly!" He declared before turning to me. "My friend, may I borrow your colosseum?"

X'Hal giggled like a woman so high she was seeing GOD (herself), "Weeee~! Fighting leads to fucking and fucking is FUN~!" She gasped dramatically as if realizing the secrets of the universe, "Babies~! Will Mommy's big, strong boy help her create a pantheon~?"

Savage struck a savage pose, "I do what I can because I must! You will have your pantheon, adorably high goddess!"

Raven turned to me with a look in her eye like she was trying futilely to block out everything 'Savage', "Yeah, I think we can leave, Sean. Maybe leave the dragon a present when we go though. You're right. I do feel kind of bad."

In the background, Larfleeze had created a plethora of constructs and was charging up for another swooping pass. I gave a considering nod, thinking of something nice from my own collection to leave him. Larfleeze roared and came at us again. We all dropped through a portal that appeared beneath us before he could hit anything.

"RRRAAAGGGHHH! THIEVES! THIIEEEEEVVVEEEESSS! YOU CAN'T RUN FROM MY GREED-… OH? WHAT'S THIS? A COLLECTOR'S EDITION HITCHHIKER'S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY? HOW INTERESTING…" Larfleeze's sudden mood 180 echoed through the portal before it fully closed.

We dropped through the portal and landed lightyears away… in the Dead End. It was by far the safest place we could escape to. And Raven and Kori needed a way back home at some point anyway.

My bar was occupied by a gathering of my girls (and a few others like Selina and Diana). It seemed that Didi had taken my suggestion of a girl's night. I would have felt bad about crashing it if there wasn't already a group of teenage boys doing that for me.

The rest of the Teen Titans were seemingly waiting for Raven and Kori's return here. They also happened to be kept quite busy by the girls as they waited. Cyborg was dodging standard Harley-style chaos and not doing very well in that, it seemed. Beast Boy and Ivy seemed to be taking entertainment in the Cyborg-Harley chaos, while also finding common ground in their unique connections to higher elemental forces and their shared green-ness. And Damian was handily holding his own against Selina's auntly bullying and pushing Barbara's buttons as usual.

"Honey, I'm home~!" I called out as we made our entrance. "And I brought a goddess, a queen, a princess, and a tasty little goth delight! Oh, and Savage, I guess…"

"Kori!/Rae!/Teammates," The rest of the Teen Titans exclaimed, rushing over to their returning teammates.

Well, Damian was much less visibly excited and relieved, merely nodding. Something Raven noticed and couldn't help but comment flatly on, "Excited to see us again, Damian?"

"I had the utmost confidence in your abilities," Damian simply said.

Kori somehow managed to wrap her entire team in a single hug, "Friends! I have done the grand return! I am so happy to see all of you again! It feels like it's been the foreverness!"

"Ack! Kori!" Beast Boy choked. "Too-! Tight-!"

"Yeah, damn, girl!" Cyborg laughed. "You're almost choking 'me'!"

"I simply missed you all! Verily!" Kori exclaimed, tearing up slightly.

"You were gone for a single day," Damian and Raven deadpanned in synch.

"Even a day is too long to miss the friendship~!" Kori cried.

"Ugh, gag," Blackfire rolled her eyes, saying the word instead of making the noise.

Loopy X'Hal teared up at the touching reunion, "Such Passion… My children are so beautiful…!"

"Yay, Gothboy's back~!" Harley cheered and cackled, clearly quite tipsy in a fun way.

Kara instantly flew over and began fretting over me with an adorably furrowed brow, "You're okay? Really okay? Didi told us you'd been kidnapped!"

"We told you he'd be fine," Barbara rolled her eyes at Kara's cute concern. "One, he's Sean. Two, Savage is… a lot. But I don't think he means any harm."

"I shall take that… as a compliment!" Savage declared dramatically.

"Did you enjoy your 'bro-trip', dear?" Didi asked, a soft smile on her face.

"It got cut a bit shorter than I'd have liked but I had fun," I chuckled in reply. "Of course, with Savage, 'fun' is practically a guarantee. Inescapable. I'm still trying to decide if that's a good or bad thing."

"The best thing!" Savage argued.

"Well? don't keep us waiting," Diana prompted. "Tell us of your journey, Sean."

"Oh, this should be good," Selina purred a chuckle.

"Friend Barbara! Friend Kara! Friend Diana! Friend… Damian's Aunt/The Second Mother…?" Kori looked confused at that last one but shook it off just as quickly. "So many friends to do the returning to~!"

Greetings were exchanged between Kori and the mentioned 'friends' as we all filtered back over to the bar, taking seats and making ourselves comfortable. Kori kept her teammates close. Kara did much the same for me as if she was afraid to let me out of her sight. She was being adorably clingy at the moment. Poor girl. I'd have to do something with her soon. I still had to corrupt the Farm-Girl, after all.

"Where should I start?" I asked rhetorically as we all settled in.

"The beginning is usually a good place," Ivy smirked. "Harley and I saw that space 'ship' of yours take off. That was… interesting. I don't think I've seen anything like it before. Though that's something of a trend with you, Sean."

"Fucking weird is what it really is," Blackfire snorted.

"Sister! Be the nice," Kori chided reflexively. Then she gasped in realization, "Oh no! The Rachel Roth!"

"Don't worry, Kori," I reassured. "I pocketed her before we left."

Beast Boy paused, "Uh… what? Rae's right here."

Raven facepalmed, "Oh, God, she named it after me…"

"Is that the problem?" Kori asked, tilting her head. "The ships are female, are they not? She was a loyal spaceship-ly steed! So I named her after the most loyal female friend I have!"

I raised an eyebrow at Savage without saying anything. He just shrugged noncommittally, seemingly fine with Kori naming our ship. He was currently more interested in working his magic on the high, flaming goddess in his arms. It seemed to be working. X'Hal was devouring the positive attention after so long in stasis, giggling giddily as she stroked fiery fingers along Savage's muscles.

Blackfire glared at him, "Stop corrupting our goddess, barbarian!"

Savage simply turned his nose up at her goodnaturedly, "No, I don't think I will."

"Anyway," I said, bringing the topic back to our adventures. "Savage and I found ourselves above Tamaran in the Vega system after he got bored of sailing the stars and asked me to cut the travel time short."

"My impatience is disgraceful," Savage shook his head sadly. "I shall endeavor to improve upon it again!"

"It turns out that space is big," Ivy snarked with dead amusement.

Harley let out an exaggerated 'gasp', "Gasp~! Stop the presses~!"

"From there," I chuckled. "Savage went on to seduce the Tamarean Queen — say hello, Blackfire — and her royal guard. I had quite a bit of fun playing wingman there."

Blackfire clicked her tongue and averted her eyes from everyone, "Tch. Bastard."

X'Hal reached over to pat her on the head, "I am proud of you for having such good taste, my daughter~."

"Raven showed up while Savage was… preoccupied… with that," I smirked my amusement. "She told me what happened with Kori and we we set out to explore the Vega system in search of more information. Found an unfortunate little bar and made a friend during that search. As you do. I might have to put a few doorways to the Dead End in the Vega system. Awl would make a fun guest."

Raven's lips twitched into a small smile, "He was nice. Pretty cool… dude? What do you call a being made of pure energy that doesn't really identify by any gender?"

"The friend!" Kori cheerfully suggested.

"Yes, friend. That'll do," Raven chuckled slightly.

"Huh. Alien shit. Cool," Cyborg said. "Hey, Gar? Think you could turn into an animal made of energy?"

"Pff-…!" Beast Boy paused mid-scoff. "Huh, I don't know actually. Maybe? Like, it's still animal life, right? Just nothing I'm familiar with…"

"You probably can," I shrugged. "The Red isn't so simple as just flesh and blood. It's an animating force of the cosmos. And energy beings likely fall into a weird gray area between all the realms if I had to guess."

"That's the thing you were talking about?" Beast Boy asked Ivy. "The greater plane or whatever that we're connected to."

Ivy nodded, "Yes, though I am connected to the Green instead of the Red. That is a subject you'll have to explore mostly on your own, I'm afraid."

"Careful doing that," I warned. "The Parliament of Limbs isn't anything to be taken lightly. They'll likely favor you somewhat but you might have to help purge them of some corruption."

"Parliament of Limbs," Cyborg shuddered. "Man, that's a creepy-ass name…"

"Yeah, yeah," Harley rolled her eyes. "Flesh, blood, guts, and limbs. Whatever. We're getting off-topic. I wanna hear about Gothboy's vacay~!"

I chuckled and continued, "Well, then I called Savage to tell him a prison break was happening. Even with short notice, he managed to get Blackfire to rally a whole war fleet."

Everyone looked at Blackfire and she blushed, snapping, "What are you looking at?! She's my fucking sister! Even if she is annoying as Hell, I wasn't going to leave her to rot in prison!"

"Eeeeiii~!" Kori squealed, launching herself to glomp her sister. "I very much feel the love, Sister~!"

"Shut up, you goody-goody loser…" Blackfire grumbled.

Smirking at the sisterly tsundere act, I brought the attention back to me, "When Raven and I arrived at where Kori was being held, she barely needed our help. She'd managed to take over the whole place basically. She's a very inspirational leader when she puts her mind to a cause. Unstoppable, really."

Raven matched my smirk, "You should have seen her, Garfield. She tamed every single animal in the weird alien nature-preserve prison and got them to fight for their freedom alongside the alien prisoners. Even got herself a big cat that she named after you."

Kori pouted, deflating sadly and returning to her seat, "I will do the missing of Boy quite a lot…"

I nodded in the background of her pout. It had a way of taking over the room. Still, I'd been expecting something like that from her. So I'd taken the liberty of making my own arrangements to resolve Kori's infectious sadness when it made an inevitable appearance. Much like with the ship we'd 'left behind'.

I opened my 'pocket' above the bar. A feline head the size of my chest poked through nothingness into reality. It cocked curiously to one side, examining the new surroundings on the other side of its quite comfy new home. The cat's gaze landed on Beast Boy. He matched its curiously cocked head as they stared at each other.

"Boy~!" Kori exclaimed excitedly.

"Mmrumph~!" Boy matched her exclamation with a purring chuff.

That was all the prompting the cat needed to leap through the opening I'd made for it. 500 pounds of murder-fluff launched itself into the bar like a Kori-seeking missile. Boy bowled her over out of her seat. It would have looked for all reason like a mauling waiting to happen if it weren't for Kori's ecstatic laughs as she greeted her newly freed feline friend in turn.

"Ooohhh~…" Harley pouted. "Lucky. That's a straight beaut, right there~!"

Beast Boy stared at the cat bearing his name, blinked as if realizing something, and then promptly dissolved into a fit of laughter. Cyborg looked at him funny out of the corner of his eye once he was confident Kori wasn't actually in any danger from the quarter-ton of murder-fluff.

"What's so freaking funny?"

"Heheheh! Boy… Boy's a girl!"

"She's majestic, is what she is," Kara praised in awe.

"A strong ally!" Diana firmly agreed, audibly impressed by Boy and Kori both.

"… Dammit. I'm going to have to revisit the pet policy in Titan Tower," Damian muttered.

Barbara's single, short chuckle was more like a sibling-esque jab at his expense than honest laughter, "Heh."

"So what happened next?" Cyborg asked.

"Kori kind of did the whole 'breaking out' thing on her own," I shrugged. "The rest of us were late to the party. Not much happened after that."

"Except for how we ritualistically moved an entire planet to another solar system while tapping into a star to fuel the process?" Raven asked, her voice deceptively flat and casual and her lips twitching in hidden amusement.

"WHAT?!"

"And how we raided the hoard of the dragon as plundering space pirates~!" Kori put in as well, hugging Boy as she grinned.

"THE FUCK?!"

The shouted reactions came almost in synch for the more verbal of our audience. Beyond the exclaimed 'what the fuck?!', Cyborg and Beast Boy gaped at their female teammates, their jaws hanging open comically. Barbara, Diana, and Kara were visibly rocked by the feats and the understated, Dead-End-enforced truth behind them. Selina and Ivy chuckled — and Harley cackled —, mostly at the reactions instead of the feats themselves.

Didi let out a fond sigh, glancing at me with a loving look in her eyes. I couldn't help but grin — to myself and her both. Traveling with Savage had been good fun but I'd missed this — missed the Dead End and the rest of my girls. The bro-trip had been a nice side adventure. I was very glad to be back though. And I was quite looking forward to resuming my Dead End retirement properly.