Extra chapter-random bullshit

(This is just some random bullshit that came to my head. it isn't important but I hope I can at least make someone laugh and to that one person who does laugh i'll give you a virtual blowj- I mean hug. A virtual hug...)

(Beware past here you will lose brain cells)

NO pov

It was a regular day on patch. Ruby and Yang were playing outside while (y/n) went outside to try and find some friends. 

It was normal until (y/n) burst through the door and ran to Ruby and Yang to hide behind them. 

(y): "HELP ME THE ARA ARA FOUND ME"

R/Y: "What?"

RT (Random thot): "Ara Ara~"

(y): "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"

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We see team RWBY and JNPR listening to (y/n) tell a story in the cafeteria.

(y/n): "Alright so this was a while ago. I am an alcoholic and that started when Yang started going out to bars. For reasons I can't remember she kept bringing me with her. Anyway I got offered a drink at one of the bars because I looked older than I was. I said fuck it and downed em. Now I kept doing that until I blacked out. Now apparently Yang abandoned me because she has no idea what happened. When I woke up I was in this random girls house and apparently we got engaged"

RWBY/JNPR: "WHAT"

(y): "I know right. Now as you can tell i'm not married and the reason for that is when she left to go to her job I ran for it and somehow I found my way back home"

Y: "Oh yeah I remember that day. You stayed in your room for a week and until you came to beacon you were always looking around for someone"

(y): "Yep luckily I never saw her again"

RT: "YOU. I FINALLY FOUND YOU. COME HERE NOW. WE'RE GETTING MARRIED"

(y): "OH FUCK"

(y/n) and the random thot run out of the cafeteria and around five minutes later (y/n) walks back into the cafeteria alone.

(y): "... So on a completely unrelated note, does anyone know how to get rid of a body?"

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"Ruby is hanging out alone in team RWBY's dorm and she decided to look through her brothers things. For some reason he never let her see what was in his things for some reason. It's even weirder because he only brought two small bags of stuff.

She went over to the corner where her brother threw his things on the first day here. She opened the first bag and it just had a bunch of ammo for his guns and a strange book. She looks at the book and see the cover says 'angsty thoughts and personal thoughts'. She skips a couple pages in and sees the first thing written is "Is it just me or whenever you read a gay fanfiction every single character is either gay or homophobic? Like there are no straight people in it at all. I get that the fanfiction is based off a gay ship but it doesn't mean that every single person in that universe is gay". She doesn't have anything to say about that and she is scared to read on.

She was about to open the other bag when her brother came in. He was clearly mad and pinned her to the wall. He the-"

(y): "BLAKE I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU'RE WRITING THAT FUCKING FILTH I WILL FIND A WAY TO TORTURE YOU THAT DOESN'T TURN YOU ON YOU PERVERTED PUSSY"

B: "O/////O"

(Y): "GOD DAMMIT BLAKE I'M COMING FOR THAT ASS"

B: "O/////O

(y): "STOP YOUR MIND YOU HORNY BITCH"

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We see (y/n) and Ruby having a talk.  

R: "Bro if you had children how would you raise them?"

(y): "If they act up beat em, listen to their problems if they are actually important and be brutally honest"

R: "What do you mean?"

(y): "Look if anyone else had an ugly kid then they would tell them that someone would like them no matter what they look like. If they said that to me I would say "Look you better fix up your personality and get some money because you aint getting no love otherwise" because that's the truth. If they say "Daddy why is mommy taking so long to come back from the store" I would say "that bitch left us... which is fucked up because that's meant to be my job".

R: "Anything else"

(y): "Actually yes if my kid ever tries to have sex without any birth control i'm going to give them a mirror with a note on it that says "this is why you use birth control"

R: "Why are you like this bro?"

(y): "It pisses people off and that makes me smile"

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(y): "You know Pyrrah's semblance is some fucking bullshit"

W: "You're just mad because she beat you"

(y): "Yes, very much but this is about her semblance. She can control metal. That's so fucking OP"

W: "How?"

(y): "Pretty much no-one in this school has any weapons that aren't made of metal and that means if she wanted to she could crush out fucking weapons into tiny balls and not to mention that technically she can bring down whole city's just with her semblance by moving any metal support in the building. If she's in a city there is no way she could lose. I mean with all the metal shit around there how could you beat her. Also let's say that you get her weapon away from her. She can just use her semblance to bring it back to her and even if there's a limit to what she can do there is another huge factor"

W: "What's that?"

(y): "She actually has brain cells and can think. She knows the best moves to take in order to win a fight because she has way more experience than we do"

W: "That's all a fair point but how is any of this funny"

(y): "OH SHIT YEAH. UM... Penis joke"

(Now that's some funny shit right there)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------(Aight last one)

W: "WHAT ARE YOU DOING"

We see (y/n) look at her with a completely blank face and says something in an emotionless voice.

(y): "Drugs and porn"

W: "WHY?"

(y): "Why not?"

W: "BECAUSE IT'S ILLEGAL AND JUST BAD IN GENERAL"

(y): "It's only illegal if you get caught and trust me I know that this shit is probably killing me plus jacking off to porn feels good"

W: "I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU HAVE TO DO THEM IN FRONT OF ME EITHER"

(y): "Well you see it pisses you off"

W: "I'M DONE WITH YO-"

A few hours later

R: "Bro why is Weiss passed out on the floor"

(y): "Do you want me to lie or actually tell you"

R: "The lie first then the truth"

(y): "I shot my gun in vale and i'm such a good shot that it hit her all the way in the dorms but she was mad and started yelling at me when I came back so I hit her across the face with a baseball bat"

R: "And the truth"

(y): "She tried to take away my drugs and porn so I shot her to break her aura and hit her across the face with a baseball bat while yelling 'Homerun'"

R: "..."

(y): "..."

R: "Teach me"

(y): "Next time"

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(I may or may not do another one of these so if you want me to write any dumb skits and i'll put it in it's own chapter. I'll also do a Q&A chapter at some point so you can have fun with that)