It was A Causal Day in the Oven of the U.S.

Once in a while, I liked to think.

To think of spaceships and black holes. Of becoming an unrivaled genius, or suddenly becoming magical or mighty enough to crush steel.

Or of a beautiful, witty, but sweet girl that falls in love with me. Specially when being bored in a college class surrounded by said girls with their boyfriends. Like seriously, give some respect to your boy the lone dog, dawg!

Ahem, I digress. It was a mostly normal, casual day in the Oven of the United States, aka Arizona, and the Professor of the Geology 101 class took us to the back of the Supersittions to look at fancy rocks.

Most of us were sweating up a pond, while a couple of amorous people were sending out steam as they made out. Not like I was peeking or anything! They just came out of nowhere giggling and sending diabeatus causing words as I was chilling ontop of boulder that looked like a fist with a mighty finger sticking up as if telling the Summer heat to screw off and move to Alaska.

Since the pair of soon-to-be octopuses below were my good friends, I decided to give them fair warning, specially as the no-nonsense teacher with a hard on for them fancy dancey rocks was coming.

"Ahem." I cleared my throat in hopes that they would look up, but the suction force overwhelmed it, so I hopped down just past them, startling them and getting a small, cute squeak from them both.

"You know Jim, I would expect that cute noise to come from Beth, but....." I trailed off into silence as I looked at Jim up and down with a raised eyebrow.

"Oh, shove off Sam! Did you follow us just to scare us again." He was fairly mad, frustrated that his intimate time was blown away.

Beth wasn't as mad, but as she was definitely embarrassed being caught red handed she followed up, "Could not you next time, please."

"This time I being wrongly accused, I was as here first, moreover, count your lucky stars that I did. The teacher is on his way over, look busy!"

For a moment it was a bit of a scuffle, but we all managed to pull out our classwork and start writing some reasonable sounding BS about the Majestic Boulder as Professor Norton came around.

"Jim, Sam, Beth I hope you all are discovering the wonders of Geology today."

"More or less Teach," Jim spoke up, trying to bluff that we were working hard and not screw around as Beth and I just nodded along.

For some reason he could always tell when I am bluffing and Beth would always turns into a tomato speaking a lie, but he could never with Jim. I call hacks.

"Well, I'm sorry to interrupt your admiration of this natural work of art, but it's time for lunch. Let's go back to base camp."

Base camp being a couple of canopies painfully dragged up here by to beef dudes that looked like Pro Linebackers in the NFL. It was only a little ways from where we were at, but do to the maze like build of the Supersittions, if we didn't have trail markers made from rocks and sticks we would of taken probably been lost.

It was then when it happened, I was climbing up a steep ramp behind the others when I was hit in the face by 44oz metal bottle that slipped from my good pal Jim's hand and slipped, fell, rolled, and generally tumbled down and to the side. Now, that would all be fine and all, but the problem was I didn't stop falling, right into a crack in the ground and a into a tube.

At this point I hand gotten a hold of my self from the shock and pain, but the worry grew as I didn't stop. Let's say that again. I didn't stop sliding like a kid on a slip n' slide. I could even catch myself as the tubes surface was strangely smooth and slick. Thankfully it wasn't too steep, so I wasn't going lethal speeds, but it was too fast for me to stop with my hands.

Eventually the monotone darkness started to end as a suspicious red-orange light and heat appeared. Followed by an opening. And lift off with a grand view of a lake of magma below me. And that was it. That's all folks, the pig is calling it wraps.

If you want I could go into details as I discovered how a certain energy sword swinging force master felt, as I slowly slipped from a hot, floating rock and sunk under. But I won't. because I dont want to get even more depressed than I am already.

But wait Sam! How are you here now! Alive!

hahahaha, but your wrong, I didn't survive. I died. And now I am here Little Berry and Big Tim. A Rock. A Rock. A Bloody Rock! Dog-Dang it!

From a 5 foot 10 Human to a rock, Professor Norton would be proud.