Chapter 11

(𝑻𝒓𝒚 𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒈; ᵒˡᵈᵉʳ ᵇʸ ˢᵃˢʰᵃ ˢˡᵒᵃⁿ.)

★✰✯

"𝖢𝖺𝗆𝗂𝗅𝖾! 𝖧𝖺𝗏𝖾 𝗌𝗈𝗆𝖾 𝖽𝗂𝗀𝗇𝗂𝗍𝗒!!" Those were the exact words my father, Stein said to my mom.

Even with that mom refused to let him go and kept on hugging his leg more crying harder than before. She placed her teared stained face on his dark trousers, sniffing continuously and hiccupping in between her words.

"Can't you just lie...Stein? Can't you just lie to me and tell me you still love me? I don't care if it isn't true, just tell me you do. Look at me with those love filled eyes as you did when we were still in highschool. Even if you don't, please don't get married. I am s...sure there is a place in your heart that still have me in it...we could rekindle that love...hope is not lost as long as you don't get married. I just want us together again, can't you do this for me Stein? Are you going to throw away the love we had?" She looked at him with expectant eyes.

I felt hurt seeing my mom like this, lowering herself to beg a man that had hurt her more than once. That had given her a permanent scar on her face, that had given her life a dreadful turn. I wonder, if begging him was worth it for her?

The hopefully look in my mom's eyes was crushed when Stein (my father) scoffed and said.

"𝖸𝗈𝗎 𝗋𝗎𝗂𝗇𝖾𝖽 𝖺𝗅𝗅 𝗍𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝗁𝖺𝗇𝖽𝗌 𝖢𝖺𝗆𝗂𝗅𝖺. 𝖨𝗍 𝗐𝖺𝗌 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝖿𝖺𝗎𝗅𝗍" 𝖧𝖾 𝗅𝖾𝖺𝗇𝖾𝖽 𝖽𝗈𝗐𝗇, 𝗉𝗅𝖺𝖼𝖾𝖽 𝖺 𝖿𝗂𝗇𝗀𝖾𝗋 𝗎𝗇𝖽𝖾𝗋 𝖬𝗈𝗆'𝗌 𝖼𝗁𝗂𝗇 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗌𝗆𝗂𝗅𝖾𝖽 "𝖱𝖾𝗆𝖾𝗆𝖻𝖾𝗋 𝗁𝗈𝗐 𝗂𝗍 𝖺𝗅𝗅 𝗌𝗍𝖺𝗋𝗍𝖾𝖽, 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖺𝗅𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝗒 𝗄𝗂𝗅𝗅𝖾𝖽 𝗍𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝗈𝗎𝗇𝖼𝖾 𝗈𝖿 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾 𝗂 𝗁𝖺𝖽 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝗒𝗈𝗎, 𝗂𝗍 𝗐𝖺𝗌..."

They had yet to notice that I was standing by the side looking at them, well until Stein gave me an indifferent look. The moment he saw me, he stood up straight, removed his leg from my shocked mother and walked out without giving me a second look.

What was he about to say? How was it my mom's fault? What exactly had happened?

So many questions danced in my brain, but I broke out of the questions trap and rushed towards my mother who was still on the floor staring at the empty space.

I held her shoulders and tried to say any comforting words I could think of at that moment.

"Mom, I am sure it's going to be fine for us. Maybe it's time to move on too just the way dad has, please Mom stop crying"

Her tears gushed out more. "I can never move on, never. You won't understand, you will never understand" She got up hurriedly and walled out of the supermarket tears still in her eyes.

I sighed before getting up from my kneeling position and headed towards the storeroom. I pushed opened the door to see Amina seated on the floor, resting her back on some good while sleeping.

I walked slowly and sat beside her placing my head on my knees.

I cried that day more than I have cried in years.

I was crying for the loss of my father, the loss of my mother's will to realise that sometimes is better to let someone go and the pain that love would cause when it goes wrong.

♕︎♕︎

I arrived at school a little earlier than I wanted but I couldn't stay home much longer.

We had thin walls at home so I could hear the constant sobbing of my mom and also Amina expectant eyes for me to explain what happened put me in a hard spot. I wanted to tell her what happened maybe she could give some advice to mom and also didn't want to tell her so as not to bring bad memories.

Gosh, this morning was just unpleasant.

I walked down the hallway which had just the janitor doing his morning cleaning. I felt lonely all of a sudden, like I was the only one walking on this planet...alone with just the janitor...

I shook my head from stupid thinking and rushed towards my locker, I seriously need sleep.

I opened my locker to place my books and get my sweater when a note flew out, falling slowly to the floor.

I looked at it suspiciously before bending down and picking it up. I opened it slowly and read it contents.

𝑅𝑢𝑏𝑒𝑠,

𝑀𝑦 𝑐𝑜𝑙𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑓𝑢𝑙 𝑔𝑒𝑚, ℎ𝑜𝑤 𝑖 𝑤𝑖𝑠ℎ 𝑖 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑏𝑒 𝑏𝑦 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑠𝑖𝑑𝑒 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦𝑑𝑎𝑦 𝑡𝑜 𝑠𝑒𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑓𝑎𝑐𝑒 𝑙𝑖𝑡 𝑢𝑝 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑎 𝑏𝑒𝑎𝑢𝑡𝑖𝑓𝑢𝑙 𝑠𝑚𝑖𝑙𝑒, 𝑡𝑜 𝑐ℎ𝑒𝑒𝑟 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑢𝑝 𝑤ℎ𝑒𝑛𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑔𝑙𝑜𝑜𝑚𝑦 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑓𝑜𝑙𝑙𝑜𝑤 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑡𝑜 𝑤ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑔𝑜 𝑠𝑜 𝑖 𝑤𝑜𝑖𝑙𝑑𝑛'𝑡 𝑚𝑖𝑠𝑠 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑠𝑜 𝑚𝑢𝑐ℎ. 𝐻𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑎 𝑏𝑙𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑜𝑟 𝑎𝑓𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑛𝑜𝑜𝑛 𝑜𝑟 𝑤ℎ𝑒𝑛𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑠𝑒𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠.

𝑌𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑠𝑒𝑐𝑟𝑒𝑡 𝑎𝑑𝑚𝑖𝑟𝑒𝑟.

I stared at the letter for a few minutes rereading the contents over and over again before breaking out into a smile.

I looked around hoping to find someone but didn't.

I had a secret admirer. For the first time in my serious life, I had a secret admirer. Someone actually noticed me, I wonder who it was.

The feeling after reading the letter felt so good. I felt giddily, my gloomy morning mood had disappeared the moment I stopped reading. Smiling, I placed the paper at the side of the locker.

I stared at it for a while until my smile slowly disappear.

Remembering the scene of yesterday with my mom and Stein I build the fence around my heart again.

I am sure Stein did this to my Mom too, made her feel so loved, happy, giddily, leaving her notes every morning. He was the giver of her happiness and also her sadness.

Highschool relationship never lasts. Remember that Ruby, don't fall for the normal tricks.

Even with that I couldn't throw away the note. I left it their taking out my sweater before going to the student council lounge to sleep before the school day actually started.

𖦹𖦹𖦹

I cracked my knuckles as I walked out from school. The weather was dull and a bit cold, the students were rowdy as usual as they walked out from school. Cars honking, girls and boys shouting as they rushed on the streets, it was always like this whenever school ended. It hadn't changed.

I looked around hoping I would find Lucy or perhaps Johnny, I hate walking alone in these crowds.

I frowned upon the teenagers that acted like five year old kids beside me before walking towards the tree at the back of the school to check my bag for my phone.

There is no way I am going to search for my phone in a crowded place, what if it falls out and someone steps on it. Better safe than sorry, I had no money for a new one.

I stood beside the tree searching for my phone when something caught my eye, it was a two teenagers, a girl with blonde hair and a guy kissing passionately at the back of the school.

I saw the guy groped the girl's boobs and looked away.

Next time I am so not coming here to search for my phone. Weren't they ashamed or at least feel like they should have hidden it. What if a teacher saw this? There was a strict rule, no kissing or any smut in school's premises even though the school day had ended.

I really wanted to mind my business but as the NS school council president I had to keep that rule intact.

I held my bag tight and walked towards them. I stopped halfway when I saw they had ended their previous moment.

But what shook me to the core was the girl who was arranging her hair.

"Lucy?"