Chapter 8 The push and pull (+19 rated: Adult content)

My eyes were dizzy…losing its focus. All I could think about were his whispers on my ear and feeling of his body as he made me explore more and more.

"Do you feel how hard it is?" He whispered again. He led my hand to feel his hardness from the top and slowly moving below. "Come," he said as he led me by the hand towards the room. I don't know how he knew that the room was mine but he was taking me there. I did not protest- I just followed him.

He closed the door behind me when we went inside the room and led me near the bed.

Leaning slowly towards me, his soft lips touched mine. Before I could respond to it, the touch was gone.

"Shall we start?" He asked me, his greyish eyes staring at my brown ones. He was toxic. I knew it. This was not the romantic version I fantasised but it was happening.

He sat down on the edge of the bed, looking at me as I stared at him.

"What do you want, sweetheart?"

He asked me slowly, looking at the bulging tightness between his legs and then on me. He was asking me, teasing me and testing me. My mind went blank.

I took a step and stood between his legs. Slowly, I lowered myself….almost kneeling at the space in between his thighs. He looked at me, smiling. His smile still had that playfulness.

I didn't know why I was doing the things that I was doing. But my hands moved towards him. It found the button on his jeans. Before I could do anything else, his hand stopped me.

"There is no going back after this," he said slowly as he looked at me in the eyes. "Are you sure?" He asked me.

I didn't find my voice. I was not even sure what I was doing and why I was doing. At that moment, I really couldn't think of anything.

I unbuttoned his jeans. He withdrew his hand from mine. Slowly, I unzipped them. He wasn't wearing anything underneath. The moment I unzipped them, his hardness sprung out. I let out a gasp. I looked up at him- he was looking at me.

My hands trembled a bit when I touched it.

"Take it," he whispered slowly as he put his hand on the back of my head and gave a little push.

I touched it with my lips first. Then I tasted it with my tongue - the tip was soft and wet. And as I moved lower, it was as hard as rock. I held it on my hands and started caressing it; moving up and down. I knew I was clumsy but I couldn't stop to think about how I was doing. I kissed him lower while my hands caress the hardness. He let out a gasp. He liked it when I played with them.

"Take it in," I could hear the pleasure in his voice. He pushed my head with a force, making me take his hardness inside my mouth. I wanted to protest a bit but it was already inside my mouth- hard and big. And I was sucking it in. As he slowly moved his hips, I couldn't breath. I could feel it deep inside my throat. I wanted it and yet I put my hands on his thighs to force him to take it out. I couldn't take it.

He slowly drew it out from my mouth. I wanted to protest. I wanted it more. But before it was completely out, he put it deep inside again. He was enjoying it- the in and out - holding my head on his hands and pushing and pulling it inside my mouth.

I couldn't breath. I was coughing. He took it out. He grabbed me before I stumbled on the floor and slowly put me on the bed. My whole body was trembling.

"It's okay…it's alright," he said as he hugged me, patting me slowing on my back. I was still catching my breath- hanging on to his t-shirt as if my life depended on it.

I could feel myself still trembling. I was embarrassed. I was scared. I have never been so crazy in my life. I just wished that he didn't know my trembling was from how scared I felt about what I did.

I don't remember how long he embraced me in his arms. But when I felt myself calming down, I try to break away from him. He seemed to understand what I was trying to do. So he let go of me. I felt a sudden coldness wrapping my whole body.

"Are you sure you are okay?" He asked me again with concern filling his voice.

I nodded my head. I couldn't even look at him in the eyes.

He patted my head slowly. Cupping my face on his hand, he asked me, "Can I use your bathroom to take a quick shower? I don't think I can go out in my current condition without a shower."

When it hit me what he meant, my face turned dark with embarrassment.

"There's a clean towel there," I managed to tell him, pointing at the corner of the room.

He gave quick kiss on my forehead saying "Thank you." Picking the towel, he went out of the room and to the bathroom.

I pulled the blanket and covered my face as soon as he was out of the room.

FUCK! I have gone insane. How could I do something like that with someone I just met?!! Damn!

And the worst thing was I didn't hate it.

I was embarrassed to admit it but the truth was that I wanted more.

I don't know how long I was cursing myself.

I was only able to snap out of it when I heard him using the hair dryer. Damn- he was almost done.

I panicked. What am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to behave after such thing?

While I was tormenting myself about what to do, Josh opened the door.

"Do you want to go to the bar and get some food and drink?" He asked me nonchalantly.

I looked at him. So, this is how it plays out in real life, I thought to myself. Completely different to what is written in those novels. Damn!

"Sounds good," I answered him.

"Do you want to take a shower then? I will wash the dirty dishes," he said.

There was no pointing in hoping for a different situation now. So, I agreed and went for a shower.

About half an hour later, we were at the bar. We found Phil and his friends in one of the upper lounge. This was a huge gathering- I realised after counting that they were 12 people; 3 girls and rest of them were guys.

"You are here! Come for a round of bottoms up," Phil dragged me to his side as soon as he saw me. "Oh, you are here too, Josh?" He asked as he saw Josh behind me. I could see that it was question rather than a statement. But because there were other guys in the group who knew Josh, he didn't have a chance to reply.

"Good that you are here, Josh."

"Come over," someone dragged him away. And I noticed that a particular girl was already clinging to him.

What the hell? I thought to myself.

But before I could say anything, Phil had already handed me a bottle of beer.

There were many rounds of beer and food. It seemed that everyone was talking to everyone at the same time. For the first few drinks, I remember that Phil was beside me. But since everyone at some point either went to bathroom or joined the dance floor, I was drinking with different people throughout the evening.

And after I don't know how many bottles, I was seated near the wall. As I turned to chat with the person on my other side, I saw that Josh was beside me. The memory of what happened in my room flooded my mind. I didn't look at him but pretended to look at others clashing their bottles and talking loudly.

Then I felt it- his hand under the table, on my thigh. No one saw it.

He slowly rubbed his legs on mine. His hand just a bare minimum distance away from the spot between my legs.

I gulped down the remaining beer from the bottle.

Damn- this play was getting hotter and hotter.