Chapter 5 - This is your place

Aiyana's P.O.V

My surroundings take a deep shade of dark blue as the night takes over. I let out a deep sigh and walk inside my home, locking the door behind me.. I walk towards the kitchen and start rummaging through some stuff to eat. Finally my plan was set on making soup today. Vegetable soup.

I set the ingredients on the counter and head to the river for a bath, once I'm done I come back inside making sure to wipe the water from my hair and body. I put on a white short dress and sit down Infront of the mirror, picking up the comb I slide it through my black locks and comb thoroughly until it's fully dry and shiny.

Then I head my way to the kitchen, attending to the vegetables I prepped for tonight's dinner.

My mind swirls with the events that played out today and who thought we would all reunite once again. But most importantly the words, 'we'll continue tonight', is stuck at the back of my mind. My heart accelerates and I place my hands on the counter with my head hung low as I let out a deep sigh. How worse can tonight possibly go?

Just then a few knocks echoed from the main door. "Who's there?", I ask, "Open the door and you'll see", Jaxon's voice rings from the other side. God, please save me.

I open the door allowing him to enter. He comes in, his 6 foot build had to duck before entering the doorway and he takes major of the living room space. His husky scent drafts pass by me letting me know he came fresh from the shower with mint accents laced all over. But that doesn't stop me from being alarmed but God if I could succumb I would be a fucking whore.

"What do you want?", I ask as I watch him roam the area, observing every little detail.

He nods, before walking towards me and taking a seat right Infront of me. Even though he is seated, his face is just a few inches below mine. "Strip", he orders.

My eyebrows crook up, "Wh–what?", I ask baffled doubting whether I heard it wrong.

He looks unfazed as he repeats himself, "I said, strip".

I look at him with growing fear, the energy in the room has somehow shifted into thick unbreathable air.

Elisa stands at the front of my mind ready to defend us. If I allow her Jaxon will get even more pissed. Looking at his expression he is indeed on edge and scary.

"Don't make me say it the third time, Aiyana", he looks at me with no emotion.

"I– I don't want to", my voice comes out barely as a whisper as I clench my clothes against my skin.

He gets up and pushes me against the wall, and I try to run away before he slams me against the wall again. The pain surging my back before it goes down. I look at him with fear and agony. "You don't want to strip?", he screams and grabs a fistful of my clothes, "Jaxon, don't!", I scream, "please stop!", my voice cracks before he rips my dress and throws it somewhere I can't see.

warm tears stream down my face as I look down trying my best to cover my body covered in only my undergarments, "now do me a favor and remove those will you before I do it myself", his venomous voice sends daggers to my heart.

"This is all you'll ever be to me, a worthless person whom I can twist and turn to my liking", he says.

"Why?", I look at him, "is it because of that day?", I ask with pain written all over my face. He grabs my neck and puts weight on it, tightening at every word, "you don't talk about that day", he grits his teeth with anger. "Th–en w—what is it", I choke out, more tears streaming down my cheeks.

"I don't have to explain myself, once I'm alpha, that day will be your downfall", his expression turns cold and bitter. "Please", I reach my hand out, for a second his eyes flicker with streaks of green and black and his face flashed with an emotion I couldn't decipher.

He tossed my hand away, "remove the rest", he orders.

After a few seconds I start unclasping my bra. He takes the initiative and releases me from his hold. I remove the black garment and it drops down next to my feet. I cover my nipples with my arm but he yanks it away from my leaving me bare Infront of him. I look away humiliated as he takes me in. A growl erupts from the base of his throat and once I looked at him, his green eyes had turned completely black. "Jax?", I whisper.

"Don't stop",

He looks scarier than before now that his wolf has made an appearance and another emotion laces under those hooded eyes. Lust.

I remove my underwear and stand there Infront of him. Ashamed and completely aware of ever hair strand on my body, I look down as he breathes upon me. He holds my chin and tilts it up to look at him directly in the eyes, "remember this feeling Aiyana, you are nothing more than a piece of trash at my disposal", I listen to his hurtful words while looking into his eyes, this is not the Jaxon I once knew. "You are merely someone I can use and throw or even kill because no one knows or cares about you, you are mine to toss around and play with because no one wants an unhealthy or a lost cause like you as their Luna". He finishes before dropping his hand and storming out the door and closing it behind him.

Elisa howls in my mind.

I stand there rooted in my spot taking deep breaths as I get shattered into a million pieces from inside. My knees give out and I fall to the floor crying my lungs out with tears flowing like rivers on my cheeks. I have never been this humiliated in my life and even worse by my own mate. I thought a mate will bring you peace, love, care and warmth but what I got is the complete opposite.

I place my hand on my chest as I bellow in pain allowing more tears to flow and a way for release. It has been years since I cried this much, years since I felt a strong sense of pain and not being able to fend for myself or for Elisa. I feel as if my heart is ripping into tiny shreds.

But what irritates me the most is that I can't bring myself to despise Jaxon. He's my childhood friend, and he's the only person who has ever brightened my day. I don't want to lose him again, even if it kills me on the inside. I want him to be mine, to stick by my side. What the fuck is going on with me? Despite what he did. He humiliated me, said words that shattered my heart, and left me naked, questioning my existence.

I miss my best friend. I've discovered a new reason to live, and he's it. In the back of my mind, I hear Elisa sigh with sorrow. It must be a combination of the mate bond and other aspects that cause us to feel this way. Despite having set the goal of leaving, I have now set the final goal of continuing to love Jaxon. I'd made up my mind the moment we saw each other.

And that is my sin.

I place my head to the floor board not caring I'm naked in the living room. I stay there until darkness and sleep consumes me.