The Best Medicine

Cita sat on his stool and leaned back against the wall. The heat of the kitchen pressed against him.

'It's funny. I don't remember the last time I was too warm.' Despite his pain, he laughed.

"What now?" A familiar tart voice preceded an even more familiar figure into the kitchen.

Cita opened his eyes to see the healer storm into the kitchen, wrapped in a belted, silky robe and crowned with dripping hair twisted around her head.

"Hey, Rashida," Cita greeted. "Howsit?"

She took a step back.

"Ak — Cita?" she asked. "Are you … all right?"

'There's another first I can remember.' Cita chuckled.

The clattering utensils slowed and stopped as the Peacefallow family listened.

"I guess my head hurts a bit," he admitted. "And I couldn't remember what you said about head injuries."

"From what he said, he doesn't remember much of anything since you left here two days ago," Kody offered.

"I knew I should have signed up for that first aid course. And didn't they cover concussions in health class?" Cita continued.

With a frown, Kody handed Cita a cup of golden-tinted, warm liquid.

Cita sniffed the minty liquid.

'I suppose flame sorcerers wouldn't have ice in autumn.' He sipped it instead of meeting Rashida's piercing gaze.

"That's it? A headache and he can't remember what happened while we were away?" She pressed Kody for details.

"I'm right here," Cita muttered. "I can answer for myself."

"So it seems," Rashida answered. "But sometimes your answers are not all that we need."

Red-orange eyes met assessing brown eyes.

'How does she know where my eyes are if she's blind?'

Before he could ask, she answered, "I've told you at least half a dozen times. My Lady Staryu grants me eyes to see what needs to be seen. At this time she needs me to see you."

Rashida stared into Cita's eyes as if trying to read his soul.

"I don't know what that means," Cita scowled into his tea.

"It means exactly what I said; I am only as blind as my Lady wishes." Rashida took the tea away and handed the cup back to Kody.

"You need some fresh air. Up with you," she ordered. She took a step back, giving Cita room to rise.

Cita blinked; he had been certain that she would grab his arm, and his skin crawled in anticipation.

"Do you need a hand?" Kody offered, setting the tea aside and reaching out.

Cita shook his head, triggering a fresh round of dizziness. Sucking in a steadying breath, he pushed himself up to lean on the wall.

"Um," he hesitated. "Maybe just to get outside?"

Kody smiled and offered a supporting shoulder.

Hand poised in midair, Cita paused.

'Just do it. He doesn't bite!' Shaking, Cita forced his hand to rest on Kody's shoulder.

Rashida moved aside and let them lead the way outside the kitchen door.

Cita sat on the steps in the cool breeze while Kody alighted next to him and leaned back.

"It is a beautiful day today," Kody said. "After the storm cleared off, the temperature came back up to what I would expect at this time of year. I'm surprised Grauntie Sophia hasn't ordered the herds back out again to take advantage of it."

"That's as may be," Rashida cut in. She sat so that Kody separated her from Cita. She unwound her long black hair and applied a towel. "But you asked me about head injuries, not the weather."

"Yeah," Cita answered, leaning back and covering his eyes against the sunshine. "You said something about it before." The memory was a printed photo, edges curling as an open flame consumed it. Cita shivered.

Kody turned back to the kitchen door and accepted a light blanket, draping it on Cita's shoulders. Cita nodded in thanks.

"As a Healer of Staryu, I prefer to heal an injury. That requires the aid of a familiar, however, and I am without one." Rashida paused.

Cita leaned back and looked over; she seemed to be having an internal dialogue.

Rashida continued, "When I was an apprentice, my master sought to heal a man who had fallen and struck his head. But he refused the blessing of the Lady. He said it would displease his god."

She shrugged.

"So we treated his symptoms. Herbs for the pain. Constant attendance for days, either by my master, or myself, or the man's family, to make sure he didn't wander. More herbs for nausea." She paused again. "He recovered, but it took time. His family said he was not the same man, not for months. And I'm uncertain if he was truly the same or if his family just grew accustomed to the changes."

"So I can expect headaches and nausea for an unknown time. And personality changes, but maybe not." Cita laughed bitterly.

"The … memory issues you've shown could be tied to your injury as well. Your … moodiness, too."

Her suggestion lay like a dead fish at the trio's feet.

"So … you're saying he's a mercurial donkey's rear?" Kody asked with a mischievous grin, snickering.

Cita's laughter rang out with genuine humor. Kody's snickers grew into guffaws, and even Rashida cracked a grin.

"Yeah, but that's just the brain damage," Cita cackled, doubling over. He looked around at Kody, who snorted and laughed harder.

"What's brain damage?" Kody gasped between chortles.

"Well, if you're content to act like loons out here, I'll go back inside and prepare a tincture that may help your head without leaving you mazed." Rashida rose, as casual in her robe as if she wore a royal dress.

Cita and Kody tried to still their hilarity but to no avail. No sooner had one almost stopped than they met the other's eyes, and the mirth resumed.

They hadn't managed to stop laughing when a dark shadow fell over them. Cita looked up into Bilal's solemn face and his humor died.

Kody noticed and also regained control.

Cita frowned up at the one-winged man. His braids dripped, and his right arm glistened in the sunlight as if oiled.

"Cita, I owe you an apology," Bilal's voice cut through the silence.

Cita's frown deepened, and his head pounded in rhythm with his heart.

Kody excused himself, leaving the two alone in an increasingly chill breeze.

Chilled again, Cita tucked the blanket closer. "So … talk."

He looked away, following Kody's progress across the open yard until he vanished inside the stable. A shrill cry drew his eyes to the sky where a hawk circled. A red-headed teen — 'That must be Ash' — emerged from a barn with a pair of buckets, glanced at the loiterers, and walked around the corner between the barn and the stockade. Wood smoke teased his nose, and a dog barked, the sharp sound bouncing off the walls until it was impossible to say where it came from.

"I should go help Kody with the horses," Cita mused when Bilal said nothing.

Bilal huffed a wry laugh in response and bent stiffly to sit on the step in Kody's spot.

Sitting straight under the blanket, Cita frowned. "Are you all right?" he asked.

Bilal waved a hand, dismissing Cita's concern.

"It has been a long few days. With my injuries, I am prone to muscle strain. It will pass."

Cita stared, seeing Bilal with fresh eyes: the single wing on the left side, the straps binding sheathes with precision, the constant attention to how he moved.

"Unbalanced," he breathed.

Bilal huffed another laugh.

"Yes, we are quite a set. Each unbalanced in our own way," he responded with a wry tone. "But that is not what needs to be said." His voice was grim again. "I owe you an apology. I should not have asked what I did of you, that night at the village. It was, at the least, ill-thought." He did not meet Cita's gaze.

"Bilal … I don't... I don't know what happened at the village," Cita confessed.

Wide golden eyes met red-orange eyes that shifted away.

"I remember leaving the steading, and walking … it was cold that morning, right?" Cita picked at a loose thread in the blanket's weave. "And there was a forest, I think. But that's it."

'Except for flames. Bright and clean against the screams.' Cita shivered.

"I … see." Bilal let the silence stretch between them. "Perhaps it is for the best. I still wish I had not asked what I did of you, though."

Cita rolled Bilal's words through his aching head.

"It's not for the best," he said at length. "I need to know what happened. If it's my brain damage making me forget and blackout, so be it. But I'm not so sure that's what it is. Or at least not the only cause," he concluded.

Bilal looked at him, head cocked to the side. After a time, he nodded. "Fair enough. Let us continue this inside. Rashida may have details to add that I have forgotten or did not notice."

"Okay," Cita conceded. He shivered again. He rose and turned to offer a hand to Bilal.

Bilal looked at him in surprise.

"You do not like to be touched. Why would you offer your hand?"

Pulling his hand back, Cita scowled.

"It's not … it's just." He closed his eyes and breathed deep. "I know you're safe. And most times, I can tell myself that, especially if I'm expecting it. Sometimes." His voice dropped to a hoarse whisper. "Sometimes, out of nowhere, even my skin is too much, and I want to claw it off." Clearing his throat, he huffed. "If you wanna make it weird, you can get yourself off the step."

"You honor me with your trust."

Their gaze met again and, when Cita re-extended his hand, Bilal met him halfway.

Cita pulled him up and tried not to stagger. Together, they climbed the shallow stairs into the kitchen. The warmth of the kitchen was no longer oppressive, and Cita kept the blanket around his shoulders.

Sophia was the first to notice them with a cocked eyebrow. She cleared a space on the worktable and pointed to a set of stools.

Cita perched on one, and Bilal took another.

Rashida presented each of them with a thick, glazed cup.

Cita looked in his, and then at Bilal's. They weren't quite the same shade of brown, with Bilal's having a red hue.

"Drink it or not," the healer instructed. "It's your head if you don't mind it hurting."

Cita's brow creased as he looked around the kitchen.

'Something's missing again.'

Bilal chuckled and sipped his brew.

Rashida walked away.

Bilal reached out a hand to stop her.

"If you do not mind staying. I would appreciate your insight. Cita has pointed out that he should know what we know. And the Peacefallow wisdom would be of assistance as well." He looked at Sophia and Jenny.

They pulled up stools. Jenny reached under the worktable and pulled out more mugs. Sophia poured what smelled like a crisp herbal tea from a waiting pot for all three ladies. Four expectant faces turned toward Bilal.

He huffed.

"Where to start?"

"Well, was there a forest?" Cita asked.

Rashida and Bilal both blanched at the question.

"I'll take that as a yes," he drawled.

"Yes, there was a forest," Bilal confirmed. "It was quiet on the near edge. The animals were further inside the woods, feasting on corpses that hung from the trees." Bilal's face remained stony.

Cita swallowed to keep the tea down.

Rashida chimed in. "You said they were like strange fruit, and then at the village —"

Bilal cleared his throat.

"Perhaps in order?" he suggested. "Cita, you had some … thoughts on how they came to be in the trees. And you said that it was safe to go past because whatever had done it was … dormant."

'What else did I say?' Prickles crawled over Cita's skin.

"We passed through the forest with no real trouble and hurried toward the village. You were increasingly disoriented as we traveled. I should have called a halt." Bilal looked at his cooling drink.

"It sounds like stopping wasn't a good option," Cita offered. "And I don't think Rashida would have let you keep going if she thought there was any real danger."

Rashida blushed.

"Well, no," Bilal admitted. "We wanted to be within the village stockade by nightfall. It was close, actually, with the sun setting as we reached the western gate. But the village … was no more."

Dread pooled in Cita's stomach, and he no longer wanted to hear what he had forgotten.

"The gates stood open, unguarded," Rashida picked up the tale. "We entered and found … well ... a swarm of the Infected overwhelmed the village."

Everyone blanched at this.

Rashida continued, "Three children were hidden, and you —"

"You were jumpy," Bilal interrupted. "Your flame wraith, Nocturne, returned and provided light as we searched."

Sophia twitched but held her peace.

"We could not stay." Bilal shook his head. "And the dead needed to be honored and purified."

He hesitated again. Rashida didn't add anything this time.

"I asked you to fire the village," Bilal said. "It seemed like the only course, at the time, but that is no excuse."

"That's what you were apologizing for?" Cita asked, confused anew. "Of course you had me burn it."

Rashida and Bilal flinched.

"What — did I raze the fields clear to the forest?" Cita forced a small laugh.

"You …" Bilal broke off and closed his eyes.

"You mounted Nocturne," Rashida finally said. "And the quality of his flames changed. It wasn't just that it was blue, it was angry — hateful. And you laughed as you circled the village, setting everything ablaze. Such empty laughter," she whispered. She snapped her mouth shut without finishing, rubbing her arms.

Images sparked through Cita's brain, echoing the story as it unraveled. But they did not linger, and he could not convince himself to be sorry.

"You did fire the fields around the village, but only for about half an acre," Bilal offered. "You seemed perfectly controlled and yet not. Nocturne left a trail of blue flames for half the night."

Bilal cocked his head, golden eyes still closed. "The light helped, as we journeyed around the forest to the north. Slowly, Nocturne's trail dwindled to hoofprints, and then his flames went back to red and orange. You dismounted around dawn, and he walked at your shoulder for a time, flickering, before fading to nothing.

"You hadn't spoken a word since you agreed to burn the village. Nor made a sound after the laughter … stopped."

He pulled in a deep breath and shrugged. "We walked until we got back here."

The kitchen fell silent.

Cita stared at the dregs in his cup. The laughter he'd shared with Kody mocked him, echoing sinisterly through his thoughts.