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Filthy Gamer in Narutoverse

Tired of one bad choice in the personalization of his trait, Kaye, now Kai, logically planned his suicide for a better chance of reincarnation to get rid of the curse that his trait had almost become. Now, Kai is in a world where people breathe fire and fart thunder! *** Warning: I'm still playing with the idea of a female and submissive Orochimaru and if you don't think fem Orochi is a waifu with a long tongue and a quirk of swallowing things then... welp. The harem and r18 stuff will happen later because I generally write them after developing a few things but the work is at a fast pace in the terms of mc's strength and growth. Slight AU. *** I do not own the cover pic, credits to the creator. If you want me to take it down, I will.

FanHarem · Anime und Comics
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237 Chs
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Five Responses to Truth

Hiruzen felt his throat throb in ache as if he hadn't been already healed by the sucker elbow. It had wholly signified how... weak and unprepared he has gotten over the years. He silently read the reports while every Jonin that had no impending duties including the masked Anbu members in the shadows waited for Hiruzen to speak up. This, of course, included quite a chipper Kai who easily acted concerned. Not everyone had a seat for themselves aside from the clan heads, advisors, and elite jonins.

Standing close to Orochimaru and Sakumo instead of a distant Tsunade near the table where Hiruzen sat since she would be flipping more than her chair today, Kai found it smart to not raise chaos... more than he already had, that is.

Taking this silence as a cue, Yata stood from his seat and gave a detailed report for every Jonin present. It was also written to be informed to other Jonins in time.

"An unknown assailant raided and utilized the Reverse Summoning Contract over an unsanctioned facility built under Konoha that equipped unregistered orphans with decent talents with Konoha's resources and special ops training to fulfill the wishes of the recently turned Missing-Nin— Danzo Shimura. Search parties consisting of Hyuga, Uchiha, Aburame, and Inuzuka clan members are already trying to locate Danzo's tracks. Until now, the Intelligence Department... and its sub-division— Torture and Interrogation Division has uncovered most of the secrets from these orphans. Until now... we have yet to find out more about this unknown assailant behind the sudden fire release jutsu."

As Yata claimed this, Kai discreetly glanced at Orochimaru only to find his slitted yellow pupils staring down. Both of them stared at each other before Kai threw caution to the wind and smirked just like how Orochimaru had been the entire time and looked towards the discussion once again. While he couldn't feel Orochimaru, he certainly felt Cinnamon more excited whenever Orochimaru was near them.

"I see. This means there is a traitor amongst us." Hiruzen remarked calmly only for Tsunade to snort under her breath. Her gaze kept on Hiruzen the entire time as she had a hard time containing... her questions.

"Traitor? A Ninja breaking into the village's facility without alerting the barrier team of the village would surely elicit such a doubt but a shinobi capable of passing through the village's barrier undetected or being part of our forces rooting out an underground, illegal organization makes him or her a vigilante at best." The Aburame Clan Head remarked calmly and put words to everyone's thoughts as... despite their rational and logical thinking, many were PISSED!

Continuing, since he'd been asked to take 'charge' by the 'alliance' of clans, the Aburame Clan head adjusted his round-rimmed shades and added, "What we need right now, is to know that the Missing-Nin Danzo Shimura has no contacts left in the village including a few members within the Shimura Clan... and other Elders of the Village."

This made Koharu's and Homura's expressions change.

"Open your wrinkled little squeakers and I'll tear your heads right off your shoulders here and now."

A somber voice fueled with silent, creeping rage made the two elders choke back their words as every other clan head, too, was caught in surprise by the threat. Most of the Jonins instantly grew tense as gazes fell ok Tsunade who leaned on the table with her elbows set on the table and her lips interlocked fingers close to her lips. Her amber eyes continued to stare at Hiruzen, however.

"Continue."

She calmly... ordered. Holding back a silent gulp, the Aburame Clan head looked at the silent Hiruzen who had nothing else to offer aside from a stoic expression and did as demanded.

"After having realized that Danzo Shimura not only used the many resources of the village to form methods to undermine almost all the clans, but... also make concrete methods to poach 'inheritances' of the Senju, Uchiha, Hyuga, Aburame, and Yamanaka Clans... we believe that a reform needs to be realized while... we search for the said 'Vigilante' and interrogate the shinobi for the missing storage and laboratory. There is also the issue of two of these captive orphans dying under mysterious circumstances, leading us to believe that Danzo may have had something else planted in these children."

Once again, Kai looked at Orochimaru but this time, it was Orochimaru whose lip curled discreetly.

'Son... of a bitch!' Kai had to stop laughing out loud. Talk about honest bandits and killers meeting each other.

"Hmm... Danzo's actions caught the entire village off guard. Reform is needed, that I agree. Before all that, let me make this clear. Danzo is a missing-nin and a criminal. However, the Shimura Clan itself must be looked upon and investigated objectively by Uchiha Police, Anbu, and the Intelligence Department. And, the so-called Vigilante must NOT be taken upon kindly. If anything, this seems the act of a partnership gone awry, at least, that's what I have gathered from the reports of investigation," Hiruzen commented calmly, "If anything, this unknown assailant should know more secrets about these new members of Root. And, I shall also conduct an in-house investigation upon the previous members or Root incorporated into Anbu."

Looking around, his gaze landed on his... Old Friends. This was the price of entering the world of politics, a world crueler than the world of Shinobi. The Elders had constantly undermined the clan's influence and if it was done out of the interest of the village in the beginning then in recent years, this was mostly fueled by personal fears.

"It has come to my attention that these advisory positions have caused controversies, many at that. For now, this position is suspended until reforms that suit all of us are in place. Any questions?" Hiruzen looked around yet none raised their heads as all of them felt a strange sense of pressure from Hiruzen's almost 'dead' gaze.

---

Anger, Pain, Bitterness, Sadness, and Despair.

How could Hiruzen not feel all this?

He was angered by his own weakness. Caught unprepared... HIM!

He was in pain that his friend had gone so far. Reports suggested that Danzo... had a laboratory full of exotic research materials. Even if it was burned off completely, many things could be traced back in the form of transactions and it was realized that... Danzo, at the very least, was behind the death of Kagami Uchiha. Their old teammate! The only Uchiha that the Second Hokage ever trusted! There were more than enough of these open 'tracks' that tied Danzo to the more recent deaths of the Senju Shinobi and if he was behind these... then what stopped others from believing that he wasn't behind other tragedies?

He was Bitter that Tsunade felt s distrustful of him and that she wanted nothing to do with him. She may not have doubted his character but it was clear she doubted his ability at this point. After all... HE was the one wearing the hat. The red hat of Hokage, that is. And this doubt from made him wholly bitter with himself. How far further must he fall... to realize that this chair was doing him worse than good.

He was sad... because even after knowing this, a very large part of him did NOT want to leave this position just yet. Consider his last act as Hokage... consider it his lingering lust for his position... or redemption, but he intended to burn Danzo's corpse with his own Fire Release Jutsu.

And he was in despair. On his knees, Hiruzen silently looked at a dignified woman letting him feel the absolute worst. Her brown hair pulled back slickly into a long ponytail and despite some wrinkles, she was in a category of Gilfs that Kai felt Mito founded.

Biwako Sarutobi— Hiruzen's wife— gently cradled her man's head as he leaned forward and hugged her waist with an exhausted, tired sigh escaping his lips.

"Biwako... is Asuma asleep?" Hiruzen inquired with a silent tone.

"Yes, dear. If you're hurting too much... dispel the clone in the Hokage Office. I shall accept all of it that bores down on you..." her soothing, almost velvety tone calmed Hiruzen's senses greatly but... but instead of going down the same path again... going through the same routine that MADE him weak...

Hiruzen gently and slowly let go of Biwako's waist.

"Let me bear it alone... this time." Hiruzen uttered, "I've failed Sensei... I failed Kagami... I've failed the Will of Fire I swore to uphold. I have to..." exhaling a loud sigh, Hiruzen looked up again with barely a regained luster in his gaze, "I have to be the Hokage I admired Sensei and Hashirama-sama to be. I'll be on my feet soon."

Biwako smiled and nodded before turning, "I'll wait at our table. Don't let me eat our dinner cold again, Hokage-sama."

Letting a wry chuckle escape his lips, Hiruzen closed his eyes and remained on his knees... until he eventually stood up with a loud, reverberating heave.

---

Tsunade was thoroughly hammered. It was to the point that even Nono and Kai were called to the manor by Nawaki as she kept on destroying many furniture of the manor while Konan, Yahiko, and Nagato were positively scared.

They had never seen her... this angry.

"Fuck off! Both of you! I told you that I don't need anything, right?" Tsunade let her drunken self talk. It was easier. After all, it took very little to be careless and she flung the large clock in their direction without a thought.

Dodging the crashing clock that tore past the walls and then splintered and broke into bits, Nawaki frowned, "Onee-san! Please, you can—"

"Shut it!" Tsunade screamed shrilly, her bloodshot eyes boring into her younger brother as her tone grew softer, "Just leave... we've got money. I'll commission another manor..."

Nawaki helplessly looked at Nono who sighed and adjusted her glasses, "I'm sorry... but I don't have the confidence to escape Tsunade-sama without broken bones this time. She's indulging herself gravely..." As the person who stuck around Tsunade the most, Nono felt that this was an uncharted category.

Then the rain trio snuck their heads out of the doorframe and looked at Tsunade silently but sadly. They didn't feel sad that their new home was getting wrecked but the fact that who gave them their new home was... in such a desperate state.

Nawaki finally bit down the bullet and sullenly stared at the 'rival', "Kai... can you do something?"

"Nope, even he'd die!" Tsunade chuckled while slumping on the couch she intended to tear in two soon enough. Her left arm splayed out in an unladylike manner and she crossed her leg while taking a deep gulp out of the sake jar.

[Legacy Quest: A Legacy in Danger

Summary: The Successor of the Senju Clan worries that the current Matriarch may do something extreme under the effects of voluntary intoxication. Protect your legacy from doing anything reckless that may hurt itself.

Rewards: 25 SP

Failure: Nawaki's Disapproving Stare.]

Not giving a fuck about Nawaki's disapproving stare, Kai crossed his arms and remarked grandly, "Nono, get all the kids including Nawaki out... wait, if Konan wants, she can sleep at the Pad tonight."

"Hey! Why not us?!" Yahiko hissed in a protest!

"Sorry, but my pad is only open to bros and hoes. You're my pal, but not a bro. And you don't have any future tits to be a hoe," Kai shrugged.

"But you only call Nono-san a bro," Nawaki snorted.

"Cool, right?" Kai smirked and looked past them towards the bluenette who would certainly get to HIGHER levels, "Don't sleep with Kushina though. She'd maul you while sleeping with how tight she hugs..."

And then as if signifying that he needed no interceptions, Kai slammed his palm together and a mud wall divided them with the youth now alone with an amused Tsunade alone in a wrecked room.

"You better reduce the weights of your vest and ankle, wrist weights. Or you leave me alone," Tsunade smiled that didn't quite reach her threatening gaze as Kai narrowed his eyes, "Hey, I'm just here to protect you."

"Protect me?" Tsunade scoffed, "Maybe in a few years," she admitted despite her unwillingness, "But you're still a fresh-faced squirt who hasn't been kicked hard enough!"

"Oh, fuck you," Kai snorted and then walked over to her before slumping next to her. His hand snatched the jar of expensive sake and downed a gulp before muttering, "If you wanna get drunk and raise a ruckus in the village to feel good, I'll be next to you, kicking another Anbu butt."

"Pfft," snatching her sake back, Tsunade gave a feral grin, "You? Sensei's perfect 'pet' with the best record? You would risk your chances at being a Hokage?"

"Hokage that got throated? Not my taste," Kai smirked and leaned back, "Besides... even if I don't have any parents... Mito-sama's death did throw me out of my groove even if for a minute. Sucks that I felt all that for a lie. But... even if empathize with you, I cannot imagine how you're feeling after finding out that your Sensei's best friend was most likely behind... the death of your family. So, as I swore to protect their Legacy— You...

I plan to stick around."

Tsunade was silent for a second before snorting after calming down somewhat. "Punk, you just want to get into my pants!"

As it turns out, shouting and begging— Please calm down— was not the right way to calm Tsunade Senju.

Kai blinked and looked at her innocuously, "You could wear something crotchless and save me that trouble, too."

Tsunade glared at the boy and took a gulp out of her sake before heaving a deep sigh, "You'll never find that underwear so quit it."

"As if," Kai snorted resolutely. Ever since Tsunade admitted she had such an article of cloth years ago... Kai admitted he had tried many 'orthodox' shinobi methods to get to these fabled treasures...

After minutes of silence with Tsunade no longer taking all her frustration out on the furniture, she whispered with her shoulders slouching, "I know... Uncle Tobirama and Grandma Mito would want me to tear Danzo limb by limb but... Grandpa..."

"The first Hokage will show mercy to his son's suspected murderer?" Kai inquired.

"Oh, no, Grandpa will dig Danzo's grave and then plant a tree to further burn that tree... but... Grandpa's own legacy turned against us... it just left too much of a bitter taste in my mouth..."

Kai snorted a chuckle.

Rolling her eyes since she realized WHY Kai had such an immature reaction, she hissed, "Craving a proper funeral, are we?"

"No, no, continue..." Kai shook his head.

"Well, it's just that... I wonder if I should even feel loyal to Konoha anymore... Danzo isn't the only problem but so many things are just wrong at this point. I'm almost sure that Sensei will feel the need to hunt Danzo not out of the need to protect the village but as something he must do. And don't get me started on the elders... a bunch of fuckers who keep on boasting they were Uncle's team in the war like it's something great. Like us, the Three Sannins... the previous War Heroes were given a lease of life, too..."

Tsunade silently sipped her sake before muttering, "And seeing Orochimaru today was weird, too..."

"Why?" Kai inquired, interested in the subject.

"What?" Tsunade's eyes snapped open and she looked at Kai with her lips parted in surprise, "YOU, of all people didn't notice? Damn, you just disappointed me, Jiraiya, AND Orochi at the same time..."

"Come on... I noticed that Orochimaru-san has... Senjutsu Chakra..." Kai narrowed his eyes, trying to find hints but he only felt Tsunade's amusement as she muttered, "So, you really didn't notice? A damn shame. And here I thought you were focused on your dreams..."

Kai blinked and shrugged, still not understanding what she meant.

Shaking her head, Tsunade grumbled, "You know, for once, I wished we moved to a more competent Hokage but the thing is... not many are as competent as Sensei. The only ones that match his skills are probably... Sakumo-san, Orochi, Jiraiya, and me..."

"Well," Kai interjected, "Since you're calm, I guess, objective accomplished. I have something to train in so—"

"Stay seated," Tsunade frowned before biting back her growl and sighing softly, "Please..."

[Earned 25 SP.]

Kai blinked and shrugged. Anyway, he knew he had another allnighter to sort out the goodies he obtained so he could stay here for some time.

They were silent for quite a while as Tsunade began to sort her own conflicts internally than externally... and honestly, she preferred the former.

"So, Danzo aside, what do you think about your chances with Mikoto?" Tsunade inquired as Kai grinned, "Do you even need to ask? 100%!"

"Did you not hear what Yata said today?" Tsunade snorted.

"And did you not see that an elder ran away with the village secrets today that has an irrational fear and lust for Senju and Uchiha gifts? I say... Senju and Uchiha need to unite to keep any other 'Danzo' to surface ever again... What better way than to show this trust with the best of the Senju and Uchiha have to offer?!"

Tsunade stared at her Legacy Guardian... and wondered how well this could actually go if the narrative is controlled.

Still, she quipped back, "So... it's either you or Fugaku... or me and Mikoto? Hmm, I haven't thought of going down that route before but Mikoto certainly looked quite a treat today morning."

Kai chuckled, "Fugaku wishes he could land me but... hmm... Sensei and Mikoto... I mean, I AM obligated to protect your wishes... and interests~"

His chortle only earned him a roll of her own eyes as Kai added, "Oh, and since I'm already here... I need a budget to... hmm have a laboratory. I've found something interesting to research."

"Oh? Having a reason to get past most of the political barriers with the Uchiha and furthermore interested in a laboratory when you should be helping me research those eyes... makes me wonder if YOU'RE the reason Danzo was turned into a missing-nin in a matter of days—"

Tsunade's eyes bulged as her lips parted.

Only a handful knew of the elders and the Hokage making a trip to Fire Capital... and... Kai was one of them.

"Kai... you didn't do all this, right?" Tsunade set her jar aside as Kai's expression grew mischievous but he kept his silence.

"Right?" Tsunade inquired as Kai lowered his face barely with his gaze growing suggestive.

"Fuck me..." Tsunade gaped.

"Really?" Kai blinked before Tsunade wrapped her arms around him and pulled him into a sudden hug that easily made his face bury into her exposed cleavage as the warmth of it made Kai positively... excited.

"You damn idiot!... Thank you... and next time, be sure to include me, too!"

Kai wouldn't have exposed this fact so unceremoniously to Tsunade if he didn't trust his former partner in crime.

Not minding how Kai's hand 'innocently' latched onto her breasts, Tsunade kept the boy in her embrace as she remarked slightly, "And because of you... Danzo was ousted. Good work... my Guardian..."

"Are we really doing this?" Kai looked up with his somewhat heavy breath tickling her bosom as Tsunade, either wholly flushed from the alcohol or embarrassment spoke with not a single slur, "What do you think? If you're getting down on it... I WOULD expect you to share a lot more, sweet stuff. Like... the loot."

Kai pouted and pulled back, "That's shameless!"

"It is, right? Well, now you have a number. Grow up and fill out your clothes before even considering you're up for the task and stick to tame ones like Mikoto~!"

Standing up, Tsunade stretched her arms and let out a chuckle, "You know what, I'll help you build your lab. If you have any questions, come to me but don't forget, you still have to drop by my lab every weekend from now on. Nagato's eyes are hard to unravel."

"Got it," Kai beamed, "And don't you forget who to come to when feeling wanting to get protected," he flexed his arm, "I'm up for that task. We'll hit all the casinos and lose till we are in our underpants!"

"Tch... I win, sometimes..."

"Yeah, only when I'm involved, Sensei," Kai smirked.

Tsunade blinked and looked back, revealing she was no longer drunk as her smile broadened, "Exactly."

***

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