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FEAR WHAt I'LL BECOME AFtER DEAtH

I got used to death before, after my grandmother, my uncle Peter, and a few of my parents' high school friends. I thought I'd be able to get used to it out here too, but I guess things are different when you're the one causing the death and when you have no one to help you get over it. I wish I could do things right. For myself, for the people around me, the people I love. It never works out that way though. I do stupid shit and it has consequences, I know it does but I keep doing it. It's like my body will do anything to survive but my mind wants the exact opposite. This is not a story about love. It is not a story about heartbreak but my life revolves around that. After what I did to him it's all it can revolve around. I deserve death. He deserved to take me with him, but he didn't. Unfortunately I'm still here. ---A spin-off to the After Death series. This story focuses on a new group of survivors, including an apocalypse-orphaned 17 year old boy from Ohio named Valentine Evans, as they struggle to make a life for themselves. Warning: This story contains adult content and is intended only for mature audiences

RudyGasparrini · Horror
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49 Chs

Chapter 4 (Baby Steps)

Chapter 4: Baby Steps

Valentine Evans

April 2023

About 11 months after outbreak

Alabama

Season 2

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We had less of a plan than before. We didn't know where we were going or why we were still moving; we could have just stayed in Ohio and made a home out of it. Apparently that wasn't enough for Arwen, though.

A few new people joined our group. There was Snow Anderson and Riley Scniffer. They both gave off a drug addict vibe, but they were nice for the most part. Snow said he got his name from his friends; the reason they chose that one was kind of obvious. They both said they hadn't killed anything yet. For some reason, I took that personally and didn't believe it at all.

I wasn't okay after what I did. It changed me more than I could even have imagined it would. He was all I could think about. I kept replaying the movements over and over. Soon, the good memories began to fade.

Because I killed him and because that was the worst thing that's ever happened to me, I accepted that nothing could top that. I stopped caring about what I did. Killing the dead was easier than walking in a straight line, and I didn't care what the others thought of me anymore. I think I wanted them to hate me enough to kill me. I wanted to feel the same pain that I had inflicted on him. Every day, I carried the weight of my actions, longing for punishment to finally free me from this never-ending cycle.

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Arwen Swanter

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I knew we needed somewhere to call home, and I promised Valentine I would find that. Something told me going further south was best. Ohio had too many bad memories for all of us.

No one ever talked to Val about Cole. Maverick had been his friend; he asked me what happened to him, but I didn't answer him honestly. I knew some of the others felt uneasy about following me; they didn't trust me, and I didn't blame them, but I wasn't going to let their concern stop me from helping Valentine. After everything he did for me before the world went to shit it was the least I could do.