A REBIRTH, A NEW BEGINNING

Chapter 4 | A Rebirth, A New Beginning

.

When Song Fang Fei's eyes opened, she saw the pale pink gauze curtains that surrounded her bed that she had not seen for many years. It had been selected by her mother for her when she had still been a young child and after her parents had passed away, she had kept it as it was for many years.

That was, until she had first glimpsed at Yu Wen Qi and for the first time, feelings of love blossomed in her heart and so, she felt that it was no good to still be hanging onto childhood memories and that she had to be stronger than she was. Finally, she had put away the curtains which had already accompanied her for more than a dozen years.

Later on, with the passage of time, the curtains were gradually forgotten. That was, until the week before her wedding. A wedding was the union of two people, they would now be joined for life and take the next steps of life together, loving and caring each other; those had been her mother's words and when Song Fang Fei had thought of them, she craved for the warmth that those small things belonging to her parents brought.

She started searching for everything of theirs she could, even the curtains. But the curtains had been lost… by Chen Ji no less. She had been furious at her, screaming and throwing tantrums. Finally, it had been Yu Wen Qi who had placated her, asking her to forgive Chen Ji. Perhaps she should have discovered something back then itself, maybe just had some suspicion over why a person as busy as Yu Wen Qi had taken time to come over and defended a servant, even reprimanding his fiancée. Though it had just seemed like words of love and gentle rebukes at the time, to not be so willful.

Song Fang Fei felt tears well up in her eyes, making their way down her cheeks. The overwhelming emotions made her breathless and for a few moments, she was unable to think and comprehend. The memories washed over her like crashing waves.

Was this what she would witness before her death? Memories of her parents and the Song Fang Fei she had let go of just to become more powerful?

That too for a man who had never loved or even appreciated her?

For a long time, Song Fang Fei kept pondering over her life and all of the wrong decisions she had made, the things that she could have handled better and the people whom she had let down and failed. If there was a chance to do it all over, she promised to herself that she would do it much better.

And… she would never let her emotions control her. Especially a feeling as fickle as love. Just as useless too.

For a long time, she just lay on the bed motionless, staring at the gauze curtains blankly and waiting for her death, waiting to be consumed by the darkness or light, whichever it may be.

However, staring for so long and so intently had made her eyes dry and they were starting to hurt and yet nothing was happening. Was this death? Being suspended in your own memories and regrets? If so, then it was truly a very cruel thing.

Suddenly, she was broken out of her thoughts by a knock and a voice that she had not heard for many years. It was the voice of Second Elder Song Chen's wife, Ni Luo. Ni Luo had been the one person who really disliked her associating with Chen Ji, although she never said anything about her, she always had an expression of disdain and even disgust for Chen Ji. Then later there came a day when Second Aunt had turned completely against Chen Ji, even going as far as trying to poison her.

Second Aunt had always been a very transparent person, extremely vocal and clear about her doubts, dislikes and likes. Such a candid person was difficult to find in their world that was filled with conspiracies and power struggles. However, she was also not someone who would try to murder someone with no cause. Something had happened, or she had witnessed something about Chen Ji that Song Fang Fei had no knowledge of and then she had disappeared.

At that time, Song Fang Fei still trusted Chen Ji so she never suspected that she would have something to do with Second Aunt's disappearance. She had also never thought that an orphan like Chen Ji could ever have the power to make a powerful person like Ni Luo disappear. However, she could no longer be so sure. If it were the Yu family…

"Fei Fei, are you up?" Second Aunt's concerned voice came through the door. It was slightly coaxing and slightly careful, as if afraid of making her scared.

Having been still as a statue for so long, Song Fang Fei could no longer move or make a sound. Only one thought kept circling in her head, where was she and what was happening? Suddenly, the door opened and Second Aunt came in with a frown on her face. Seeing Song Fang Fei's open eyes that were red with tears swirling in them, just threatening to spill over, her frown deepened.

Looking at how real and vivid Second Aunt looked, Song Fang Fei felt a shock run down her body and she suddenly sat up.

"Y-you… how… what?" Song Fang Fei was very confused, and even a little afraid. She was supposed to be dead but instead she was in her childhood room and looking at Second Aunt who had disappeared and had probably been killed by Yu Wen Qi and Chan Ji.

Her hands wrapped around her throat realizing that the tender voice was hers. What the hell was going on right now? Her voice was still soft, bell-like, it was the voice of a young girl who had not yet become an adolescent. Very different from the slightly low, commanding voice she had perfected to become the iron-fisted Clan Master.

"Are you okay Fei Fei?" Second Aunt asked her, concerned. She bent down, putting her hands over Song Fang Fei's forehead. "You're still burning up. Take a good rest and make sure to eat your medicine on time, or I will have the maids take away your sweets."

Her tone was slightly reprimanding, but her hands were stroking her forehead and hair with a maternal gentleness. Second Aunt's hands had been callused from years of picking herbs and making pills and essences, but they felt so comfortable that after all that Song Fang Fei had experienced in the past month or so, it made her break down.

She started sobbing, loud cries wracking through her body and low, guttural noises coming from her mouth. The way she cried was very ugly and also quite unbecoming of her position as the Clan Master.

"What is it? Did someone say anything?" Seeing the way Song Fang Fei was crying, Ni Luo felt shocked. There was no one who would dare to be presumptuous before or try to hurt Song Fang Fei in the entire Clan. She was the apple of the eyes of the Elders and the Clan Master and Madam, she was the pearl they all carefully treasured in the palms of their hands. Yet, in a place that they did not know of, she had been hurt so badly that she even cried like this.

"It's nothing, it's just so good to see you Second Aunt, even if it is temporary and I don't know how long I will be able to see you. I'm sorry, I've let you all down. I'm such a failure as the Clan Master…" Sobbing and hiccupping she said the words that had been festering in her heart from the moment she had seen the injured bodies of her Clan members before her death, especially Second Elder who was most probably killed...

Second Aunt was confused and she poked the child's head. "Silly girl, talking in such a grown-up tone. Didn't you see me just yesterday? Is this a new game that you have come up with, pretending to be the Clan Master? Just be sure your father doesn't catch you saying those words after he comes back from the Congregation, or you'll be punished."

That tone, that voice, the person and the surroundings were so real that Song Fang Fei was having difficulty comprehending reality. Was she dead, or was she alive? What was going on?

"Really Song Fang Fei, you've made all the Clan members so worried. Going to the Ancestral Forest without adult supervision, all alone? I thought we'd already emphasized how dangerous that place is to you. Clan Master and Madam are going to be furious when they come back."

With each word that Second Aunt said, Song Fang Fei was experiencing a terrifying feeling of déjà vu. This was an incident from so long ago that she had forgotten about it. Such an event couldn't be easily forgotten, but right after this incident she had gotten the news of her parents' death so everything before had been thrown out of her mind.

Trembling from head to toe, Song Fang Fei turned her watery, red eyes to Second Aunt. "Where are mom and dad?"

"The Patriarch and Madam have gone to the Medicine Congregation. Silly child, you've forgotten about that so soon after having thrown tantrums to go with them?" Second Aunt sighed, feeling once again how difficult children were to handle.

This incident… she had thrown tantrums like the spoilt brat she was, begging to go to the Congregation with her parents, her mother had softened but her father had put a firm foot down and refused her. He had also pointedly told her that until she fixed her arrogant attitude, he wouldn't take her anywhere or people would laugh at him for having a savage for a daughter. Eleven-year-old Song Fang Fei had been furious, her pride wounded. After they left, she had run away to the Ancestral Forest only to encounter some dangers and a Demonic Beast and having to be saved by her Seniors. Then she had a high fever because of the poison from the Demonic Beast.

"How old am I?"

Second Aunt's didn't answer as her brows furrowed once again. "Fei Fei, you've been acting differently since waking up. What is the matter?"

Song Fang Fei didn't answer, completely still as if frozen stiff. A long while later, she turned up her head stiffly. "Second Aunt, can you please go out?"

Ni Luo hesitated; the strange feeling stronger in her heart. "Okay," she sighed after a long while. As soon as she stood up and went out the door, closing it softly behind her, Song Fang Fei sprang up from the bed, running to the mirror in her room.

The sight in front of Song Fang Fei made her collapse into a heap on the ground. The young girl in the mirror was still to hit adolescence, her slightly chubby body and round cheeks making her look adorable, huge eyes looking back at herself in horror. She touched her body in a panic, trying to discern what was going on.

Had she actually come back in time? What was going on?!