My night mares

[ warning this Ch is going to things like depression, dout, guilt, and even wanting to end your self it is ok to skip this Ch if you feel uncomfortable reading these things ]

Ritsuka wakes up in a black void but he was not the 8 year old Ritsuka but instead the 20 yearold who saved humanity, he already knew what this place was, as then from the ground like mud and drakness came out four people as he already know who they were, they were Pepe, Ophelia aka Ophelia ofmthr original timeline, Hinako Akuta aka Yu Mei-ren, and Kirschtaria Wodime each of these were thr four crypter that died and each of these he indirectly killee even so Kirschtaria murder was Beryl, each of them had blood dripping from then, as Ritsuka stepoed back as they came to him

As Ritsuka stepped back, his heart pounded in his chest, each beat echoing in the darkness around him. The figures drew closer, their faces contorted with anguish and accusation. Pepe, Ophelia, Hinako, and Kirschtaria—once allies, now haunting specters of his past.

"I'm sorry," Ritsuka whispered, his voice barely audible in the void. "I didn't want any of this to happen."

Pepe's eyes bore into Ritsuka's soul, his gaze filled with sorrow and betrayal. "You could have saved us," he murmured, his voice echoing like distant thunder.

Ophelia's presence seemed to flicker, her form shifting between light and darkness. "You left me to die," she accused, her voice a haunting melody that chilled Ritsuka to the bone.

Hinako's eyes glowed with a fierce intensity as she stepped forward, her every movement exuding a quiet menace. "You let us fall," she hissed, her words cutting through the darkness like a blade.

And then there was Kirschtaria, his presence commanding and regal even in death. "You could have stopped it," he intoned, his voice resonating with power and authority.

Ritsuka trembled as their accusations washed over him, each word like a dagger plunging into his heart. He wanted to reach out, to apologize, to make amends somehow, but the darkness seemed to swallow him whole, leaving him stranded in a sea of guilt and remorse.

I tried to save you all. Ritsuka said as he looked at all of them. I didn't want you all to die

As then Hinako came to him, as he eyes just looked at him, her face hand anger as she kicked hin away

I was fine in the 3rd lost belt. She said looking at him. I was happy there with my husband even do he was not the one I knew we still loved eachother

I brought you both back in Chaldea using the summoning system I turned to help. He said but his words were not heard. I am sorry he say

Ritsuka's voice wavered as he spoke, his words lost in the void, swallowed by the darkness that surrounded them. He felt a heavy weight pressing down on him, the burden of his failures crushing him from all sides.

"I tried," he repeated, his voice barely a whisper now. "I tried to save you all."

But his attempts at explanation fell on deaf ears. Ophelia's accusatory gaze bore into him, her form flickering with anger and sorrow. "You left me behind," she murmured, her voice a haunting echo in the emptiness.

Ritsuka's heart ached with regret as he watched Hinako recoil from him, her eyes burning with betrayal. "You could have saved us," she whispered, her words like a knife twisting in his chest.

He wanted to reach out, to plead for forgiveness, but the darkness seemed to constrict around him, suffocating him with its weight. "I'm sorry," he choked out, his voice breaking with emotion. "I'm so sorry."

But the darkness only deepened, swallowing his words and his pain, leaving him alone in his nightmare, haunted by the ghosts of his past.

As then hunders of arms came and dragged Ritsuka, each of those arm represent the people he killed

Ritsuka struggled against the onslaught of arms, each one a reminder of the lives he had failed to save, the people he had unwittingly condemned to death. They gripped him tightly, pulling him further into the abyss, dragging him down into the depths of his guilt and despair.

He fought against them with all his strength, but it was futile. The weight of his sins bore down on him, crushing him beneath their burden. He could feel their accusing stares, their silent condemnation echoing in his ears.

Tears welled up in his eyes as he was consumed by a sense of hopelessness. He had tried to be a hero, to save humanity from destruction, but in the end, he had only brought pain and suffering.

As he disappeared into the darkness, his screams were lost in the void, drowned out by the echoes of his own failures.

You let me die you couldn't save me. Another voice said. Proper human history what is it.

As Ritsuka saw who it was, it was patxi the Yaga from the first lost belt.

Why did you get a seacond chance. Another voice said this time he saw it was Kadoc the first do trh crypter he fought, and the one of the only two to survive. Why were you chosen by him, when we would have been better

Ritsuka trembled as the accusing voices surrounded him, each one a reminder of the lives he had failed to save. Patxi's accusing gaze bore into him, filled with betrayal and hurt. Kadoc's words cut deep, questioning why Ritsuka had been chosen over them.

"I tried..." Ritsuka's voice was barely a whisper, choked with emotion. "I tried to save you all. I didn't want any of this to happen."

But his words fell on deaf ears as the voices continued to assail him, each one a painful reminder of his failures. He bowed his head in shame, unable to bear the weight of their accusations.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, the words barely audible amidst the cacophony of voices. "I'm so sorry..."

Are you really sorry. A girls voice plays. Are you really sorry for why you did

Ritsuka saw as from the ground came up a girl as he already knew who this was it was Asha, the girl he befriend in thr fourth lost belt

Why didn't you come to my lost belt first. She said looking at him maybe just maybe then my family would have lived. She said with venom in her voice

Ritsuka's heart sank as Asha's accusation pierced through him. He remembered the kindness and resilience she had shown in the face of adversity, and now her eyes were filled with bitterness and anger directed at him.

"I... I didn't know," Ritsuka stammered, his voice barely above a whisper. "I didn't know..."

But his words faltered as guilt gnawed at him. He couldn't deny the truth of Asha's words. Perhaps if he had prioritized differently, if he had intervened sooner, her family might have been spared.

Tears welled up in his eyes as he faced the consequences of his actions, unable to offer any justification for his failures. All he could do was hang his head in shame and silently endure the weight of his guilt.

What about me. Another voice plays as this time it was a blur hair fairly. Did you forget about me I risked my life and in the end I turned into a moors

I am sorry hope. Ritsuka said this time his Sprite was crushed

Hope's accusation cut through the darkness like a knife. Ritsuka's heart twisted with remorse as he recalled the brave sacrifices she had made, only to meet a tragic fate in the end.

"I... I didn't forget about you, Hope," Ritsuka murmured, his voice choked with emotion. "I couldn't save you... I tried, but..."

His words trailed off as he struggled to find the right words, grappling with the overwhelming sense of failure that threatened to consume him. He had failed Hope, just as he had failed so many others, and now he was left to confront the consequences of his actions alone in this nightmarish realm.

As more hand dragged him down he was know in a sea of blood, as standing next to him was the person who created thr singularities Goetia in his solomon form

Ritsuka's heart sank as he beheld the imposing figure of Goetia, the mastermind behind the calamitous Singularities that had plunged humanity into chaos. The weight of his presence bore down on Ritsuka like a leaden shroud, suffocating him with guilt and despair.

"You... you orchestrated it all," Ritsuka whispered, his voice trembling with a mixture of fear and accusation. "You manipulated us, used us as pawns in your twisted game..."

Goetia's expression remained inscrutable as he regarded Ritsuka with a gaze devoid of mercy or remorse. His presence exuded an aura of overwhelming power, casting a long shadow over the desolate landscape of blood and despair.

"You sought to defy destiny, to rewrite the laws of existence," Ritsuka continued, his voice rising with a newfound sense of defiance. "But in the end, you were consumed by your own hubris... and we paid the price for your folly."

As the sea of blood churned around them, Ritsuka braced himself for whatever horrors awaited him in this nightmarish realm, knowing that he must confront the darkest depths of his own soul if he ever hoped to find redemption.

If I did it time to finish it. Goetia said as he stabbed his arm init Ritsuka. Your nightmare is not over after all you need to meet her don't you remember how is all end

Ritsuka's body convulsed with agony as Goetia's words echoed through the abyss, each syllable driving home the weight of his sins and the inevitability of his fate. The searing pain coursing through his veins served as a grim reminder of the atrocities he had witnessed and the lives he had failed to save.

Summoning every ounce of strength he possessed, Ritsuka fought against the darkness threatening to engulf him, clinging to the faint glimmer of hope that still burned within his heart. Though the road ahead was fraught with peril and uncertainty, he knew that he could not falter now, not when the fate of humanity hung in the balance.

With a defiant resolve, Ritsuka braced himself for the trials that lay ahead, steeling his resolve to confront the demons of his past and forge a path toward redemption. For in the depths of despair, he found the strength to rise once more, to face his fears and vanquish the shadows that threatened to consume him. And though the journey would be long and arduous, he knew that he would not walk it alone.

Aren't you useless, even after you stop me what are you back here like always. The voice of a female spoke with no emotion left. And here I thought you will different

Ritsuka looked to see who he thought was Olga but as he got a closer looks he knew who it was it was the alien god, as she just looked at him

Ritsuka's heart sank as he gazed upon the visage of the alien god, her form a chilling reminder of the battles they had fought and the sacrifices that had been made. Her words cut through him like a knife, each syllable laden with disdain and disappointment.

For a moment, Ritsuka was at a loss for words, the weight of his failures pressing down upon him like a crushing weight. What could he say to her, to the being whose machinations had threatened the very fabric of existence? How could he justify his actions, his inability to prevent the tragedies that had unfolded?

But as he met her gaze, Ritsuka felt a spark of defiance flicker to life within him, a stubborn refusal to surrender to despair. Despite the enormity of the challenges they faced, he knew that he could not afford to give up hope, not when the fate of the world hung in the balance.

Summoning his courage, Ritsuka squared his shoulders and met the alien god's gaze with steely determination. "I may have failed in the past," he began, his voice steady despite the turmoil raging within him, "but I refuse to let that define me. I will not rest until I have set things right, until I have brought an end to the suffering that you have caused."

The alien god regarded him impassively, her expression inscrutable. But Ritsuka sensed a flicker of curiosity in her eyes, a glimmer of interest in his defiance. And though he knew that the road ahead would be fraught with peril and uncertainty, he also knew that he could not falter now.

For he was humanity's last hope, the beacon of light amidst the encroaching darkness. And no matter what trials awaited him, Ritsuka vowed to press onward, to face whatever challenges came his way with unwavering resolve.

What happend to you. She asked him. How has someone who controls beast and fought them as well. After all do you deserve any of this any redemption, any redemption for your sins do you

Ritsuka felt the weight of the alien god's words bearing down on him like a leaden cloak, each syllable a reminder of the burdens he carried and the sins he bore. He knew that he could offer no excuses, no justification for the mistakes he had made and the lives that had been lost because of them.

But even in the face of her condemnation, Ritsuka refused to yield to despair. Though the path ahead seemed shrouded in darkness, he clung to the faint glimmer of hope that still burned within him, a stubborn refusal to surrender to the shadows.

"I may not deserve redemption," he admitted, his voice tinged with sadness, "but that doesn't mean I won't fight for it. I may have made mistakes, but I refuse to let them define me. I will do whatever it takes to make amends, to atone for the suffering that I have caused."

As he spoke, Ritsuka felt a surge of determination coursing through him, a fierce resolve to confront his past and forge a new path forward. Though the road ahead would be fraught with peril and uncertainty, he knew that he could not afford to falter now.

For he had sworn an oath to protect humanity, to stand as a beacon of hope in the face of despair. And no matter what trials awaited him, Ritsuka vowed to press onward, to face his demons with courage and conviction, until the day that he could finally find the redemption he sought.

Don't give up senpie. A female voice spoke. We are here for you

As he saw it was mash who was ready to pick him up, next to her was Ophelia not the one from the original timeline, but the one from the rest, as he childe hand reach for his, next to them was his parent and Ophelia family, dr Roman and Miss Aozaki his new teacher

Ritsuka felt a surge of warmth flood through him as he gazed upon the faces of his friends and loved ones, their unwavering support a balm to his troubled soul. Despite the darkness that threatened to engulf him, their presence was a beacon of light, guiding him through the shadows.

With a grateful smile, he reached out and clasped their hands in his own, drawing strength from their solidarity. Though the road ahead would be arduous and fraught with peril, he knew that he did not walk it alone.

"Thank you," he whispered, his voice choked with emotion. "Thank you for believing in me, for standing by my side even in the darkest of times. With you all beside me, I know that I can face whatever challenges lie ahead."

As he spoke, Ritsuka felt a renewed sense of determination welling up within him, a fierce resolve to overcome the trials that lay before him and emerge victorious. With his friends at his side, he knew that anything was possible, and that together, they would forge a path towards a brighter future.

Hey kid wake up. As a voice spoke. Wake up kid. The voice said again

As Ritsuka eyes open back to his child body, as he saw his eyes were wet as he saw Aozaki was holding him.

What the hell hapoen. She asked Ritsuka. Had a nightmare

Ritsuka blinked, trying to shake off the remnants of the nightmare that had gripped him moments before. His heart still raced with the lingering fear, but the comforting presence of Aozaki helped ground him in reality.

"I... I had a nightmare," he admitted shakily, his voice barely above a whisper. "It felt so real, like I was trapped in a nightmare within a nightmare."

Aozaki's expression softened with concern as she gently brushed a stray strand of hair from Ritsuka's forehead. "It's alright, kid," she reassured him, her tone soothing. "Nightmares can be frightening, but they're just tricks of the mind. You're safe now."

Ritsuka nodded, grateful for her comforting words. Though the memory of the nightmare still lingered, he felt a sense of relief knowing that he was no longer alone in the darkness. With Aozaki by his side, he knew he could face whatever challenges came his way.

"It wasn't the first time," Ritsuka said to himself. "But this was the first time it had a happy ending. All those times before, I ended up killing myself in the dream, only to wake up."

So um it is 7 in the morning want something to eat. Aozaki said looking at her student. And after that we can start your training. She asked Ritsuka again hoping to get an answer

Ritsuka nodded slowly. "Yeah, that sounds good. Thanks, Sensei."

As they headed to the kitchen, Ritsuka couldn't shake off the lingering unease from his nightmare. It felt too real, too haunting. He wondered if it meant something, if there was a deeper significance to it. But for now, he pushed those thoughts aside, focusing on the present moment.

To be continued

Yeah this was a hard Ch to write not because I went through a Verison of these but I know people who did, just know that people dealing with actual depression don't bottle up and let out to you loves and family member, your friend don't just bottle it up, normal here is where I ask for stones but I won't hope everyone has a happy day