Chapter 1: Useless Goddess

I opened my eyes and realized that I was sitting on a chair in a dark foggy place "What the hell happened!!!" I screamed at the top of my lungs.

"Okay, I need to calm down and recap everything that happened, I was walking on the street and first an oil tanker truck almost hit me and then a frecking road roller almost turn me into meat paste but I got lucky again and avoid it, then everything went dark"

After a few seconds, someone appeared in front of me sitting on a throne. He seems oddly familiar, a young man not older than 20 years with brown hair and green eyes wearing a green tracksuit…. Wait a damn minute.

"Yoh!!" The young man made a small salute.

"No fricking way… You are Kuzu… I mean Kazuma!!" I can't believe it, the main character of Konosuba it's in front of me, what the heck is happening!!?

"You were going to call me Kuzuma!, aren't you!?" Kazuma looked at me with an annoyed expression.

"No…. I would never call Lord Ku-Kazuma like that"

"Seriously, there's no respect with youngsters these days, they have no respect for anyone," Kazuma said with an exasperated expression " Well at least you recognize the great me! Anyways the reason that I'm talking to you is that…. You are dead"

"What!? But I'm sure I evaded the oil tanker truck and the road roller!"

"Yup impressive if I may say, but you didn't evade truck-kun"

'What the hell how It's possible, I know that the people in my city aren't the best drivers but I'm pretty sure there's no way that I got so unlucky… wait a damn minute

"Did you say, Truck-kun? Does it mean that you also send the oil tanker truck and the road roller?!!" I said with an angry voice.

"Well, you see…"Kuzuma started to have cold sweat " Upper management selected you for our new project, I was supposed to make contact with you but I got busy so I gave Aqua the task to recruit you but…" Kuzuma's forehead veins started to pop "But that damn useless goddess didn't read the damn file!! So she assumed that she needed to send Truck-kun to take you here, she only needed to send you a message with the incentives of the work, now because of that useless goddess I have more paperwork to do!!"

"Also I'm dead," I said to Kuzuma with a deadpanned expression. Seriously I get killed by Aqua and all he thinks is that he is going to get more paperwork?

"Oh… sorry kid"

I sighted at Kuzuma's words, it seems that she is as useless as in the novels. Damn, I just got my fifth Artoria Alter!! And Square Enix just released the trailer for Kingdom Hearts 4! This was supposed to be my lucky day, but now I'm dead.

"Well, whatever, it's not like I can do anything about this. So, what's next? You give me a cheat ability and get reincarnated in Axel to defeat the demon king or something like that?"

Kazuma rolled his eyes "As if it was just that upper management wouldn't select a specific person for this job. You see, all fictional worlds that you have read and see are real, it just happened that humans sometimes have a sub-connection with other universes and a specific timeline, but they think that those universes are the product of their imagination" Kazuma made a small pause so I could digest the information "But anyways, the job that we want to offer you, is to lead a team to travel between these universes to "fix" some of the problems that occur from time to time"

"The hell, you want me to become something like a counter guardian or someone like those fuckers of TVA?" Like hell, I would become like EMIYA.

"Nah, if we wanted someone like EMIYA, we would take him and offer him actual benefits, not like Alaya. Look I'm not going to lie, yes, we will give you some assassination missions, but not all the missions are like that. There are missions to protect some targets, provide assistance, or correct some time deviations, but if you get unlucky you need to take care of illegal systems users"

"Wait, did you say Illegal system users? How the hell do you even regulate that?"

"The "ROBs" from all those novels and fanfictions are not as random as they seem, most of them are associated with us, and when they get bored give systems or wishes to get some entertainment, but they always use their power to keep balance. But there are some fuckers that give systems that are powered by stealing the world essence of the world that they send the users and eventually that world would collapse faster than it should."

So even the "ROBs" have rules huh, who would think about it? "Wait a minute Kazuma, you want me to fight overpowered parasites? How the hell I'm supposed to fight them?"

Kazuma just sighted at my words " Do you think that we would just throw you to the wolfs like that? Think Mark Think! Even Alaya gave power-ups to EMIYA, so obviously we will do the same with you. I know that you are a man of culture as well, so remember these words "To defeat a nuke you have to become a nuke"

"Seriously you are going to quote Shadow? The guy who took the chunnin level to a whole different level until he got isekai'd? So you are going to give me a system to beat other system users?"

"Yes and No…"

"What the hell, it was a yes or no question"

"Shut up for a minute and let me finish, gosh seriously you are an annoying man. Okay, what I was saying is that you won't get a system perse but something similar, have you ever read novels about dimensional chatrooms?"

"Yes, but aren't those chats also a system?"

"In a way they are, but they are much simpler than systems. Chatrooms are more like a working app with a store included and you would be the admin. In contrast with a regular system, you don't get experience points by defeating enemies or stat points to increase your parameters. You can train or purchase items to increase your physical and magical abilities, also you get rewards after completing the missions, there are other functions, but you can check them if you decide to accept the job"

"And in case I don't accept the job, what would happen? Would you send me back and get my memories erased?"

Kazuma started to get cold sweat. "About that… We can not send you back to your world"

"What!!??? Why? I know for a fact that Aqua can revive people so I don't see what is the problem. Are you doing this to make me take the job, otherwise I'm screwed?"

"Look kid, it's not like I don't want to, even if you accept the job, we can't send you back. When Truck-kun kills someone and sends it to us the existence of that person gets erased from the world. So, we can't send you back. If you decide to not accept the job, we will send you to a safe world so you can have a comfortable life since it was our fault that you died sooner. And if you take the job, we will send you to a more dangerous world but not to the extent where you will easily get killed"

"Oh, and what world it would be if I accept the offer??"

"The world of High school DXD," Said Kazuma with a deadpan expression.

…..

….

..

.

"No"

"Come on man, it's not that bad, it's basically a world full of waifus, don't you think that is worth a shot?"

"Not that bad? That almost Hentai world is filled with danger in almost every corner! If by any chance I show some kind of supernatural talent in that world or a good weapon, the devils would harass me all the time to join their peerage to become their slave, the church is full of crazy people that do horrible things in the name of a dead God, and Cao Cao and his fucking hero faction are nuts, they would do anything for "humanities sake" and the other annoying bastard. My only choice would Azazel faction since they are the less harmful faction in my opinion, but the guy could become obsessed with me depending on what I get in the rewards."

"Yeah, about that… since you would become the admin you can't work under anyone, sure if you want you can be allied with them, but you can't work for them. You can be an independent mercenary and do work for them but not be in the organization. By the way, this rule doesn't apply when you are in missions since in some of them you would need to be on one"

"Bruh…. You are sending me to die again before I can complete any mission!"

"You seriously need to chill, obviously since you would be our worker, we wouldn't send you just like that. We will give you a temporary "skill" that can cover your "supernatural" powers so you don't have to worry about that and that skill is not included in your starter pack."

"Starter pack? So you would give me something before even completing a task?"

"Duh, you didn't think that you could complete any kind of mission just like that right? We usually would give you 3 things and one gift but since we killed you by Aqua's incompetence, the higher-ups decided to increase it to 6 things with 2 extra gifts"

"Neat, so I can choose what I get?"

"Nope, usually the things you get in the 'starter pack' are random and we use the gifts to give some complementary help, but since in your case we decided to not make it totally random as an incentive and allow you to have one of your deepest desires"

I froze at his words, since if he is talking about what I'm thinking then…" Oi oi oi are you serious? You are talking about…"

Then Kazuma made a shit-eating grin "Yeah, you have the opportunity to have powers or items from the Nasuverse"

"Fuck yeah!! So I can get a noble phantasm, magecraft, or even a servant!? And not risking being with those crazy motherfucker's magus? That's the fucking dream!! I'm in, so how do we do this?"

"Well, this work is random so its basically a gacha roll where you can get almost everything from the Nasuverse, except Anti-world Noble Phantasm, and Reality Marbles since they are the materialization of the inner world of a person so if we try to integrate it with you it would harm your soul so this by any means is out of the question, and lastly True Magic. But don't worry you can still get the Anti-World Noble Phantasm and True Magic in other ways, and by the way don't worry about getting something like 'Extremely Spicy Mopo Tofu' or something like that we filtered all the trash items and skills so don't worry, at the very least you would get one thing of B+ rank or higher"

After hearing Kazuma's words it was my turn to make a shit-eating grin, sure it was a bummer that I can't get Unlimited Blade Works but there are many good things, and who knows maybe I can get Gates Of Babylon. "Okay let's do this!"

"Aren't you nervous about not getting something good besides the guaranteed roll? After all, the gacha has taken many victims" Kazuma said with a pale expression.

"Nah, I have plenty of confidence in my luck, I don't like to brag but in my first roll in FGO I got Artoria Pendragon," I said with a grin.

"Lucky bastard! It took me a lot of time to get a single Artoria and you get it on your first roll!!? The world isn't fair!" Kazuma said getting to his knees. "Well, whatever just let's end this" After saying that he snapped his fingers and a smartphone appeared in front of me and a giant screen in the room.

"Just touch the button on the screen and it would show what you get on the screen, and before you ask no, you can't roll for the 4 at the same time, the gacha administrator is crazy and says that this is to build the suspense"

Well, it seems that even here are trolls, I just hope that I don't find one as crazy as Zelretch.

A.N/: What have you done! You cursed both of us!!.

I touched the button and just like in FGO white particles with a blueish hint started to rotate at high speed and combine into a pillar of blinding light. After a few seconds from inside the pillar, a pink glow started to appear.

*Ding* *Ding* *Ding*

Skill. Source: Kiara Sessyoin

Clairvoyance (Beast)(D~Rank): The rank is low, and you cannot see through far distances. However, you can see through the desire and truth of a human in front of you and reveal them. Just like a poisonous snake licking its lips in front of its prey.

"Hell Yeah, this will save me a lot of trouble"

"Yup, even if you 'know' the people of the worlds you are going, it's not a 100% infallible method, remember that what you know it's just a tiny part of them as a whole, besides there will be people that you will not know information at all."

"Indeed if I ever come across some of those idiots of "for the greater good" I will know if they truly want to help or they are just assholes also with those guys that are too good to be true"

"Be careful with those guys, also this will help you if you when inevitably cross in front of Rias, I don't know if the universe you are going she is a good person or just a shitty brat"

"Well let's continue" I pushed the bottom again and the process started once more.

*Ding* *Ding**Ding*

Item. Source: Chaldea.

Special Summoning Servant Ticket(-): A special ticket that lets you summon a random servant from the Throne of Heroes with the skill Double Summon that let him/her use the skills from another class if the summoned servant has another class that can be summoned.

"Nice is like having 2 servants in one"

"What the hell man, this ticket it's extremely rare, the only known servant with this skill is Samiramis!"

"I know right but what I can say" I just shrugged my shoulders "But if I went unlucky and summon a servant without other class it would be just a normal summoning"

"Whatever just push the button again"

I did what Kazuma said wondering what would I get in the next roll.

*Ding**Ding**Ding*

Skill. Source: Crossover Universe Fate x Harry Potter

Magic Circuit Manipulation (EX~Rank): Gives the user the ability to increase the number of circuits and quality by a series of exercises. Also has the side effect of lessening the stain that the circuits give to the user.

"What can I say, I'm just that lucky, now I don't have to worry about what my magic circuits will be nor how to get a magic core"

"Your luck is bullshit, this whole damn thing is rigged"

I deadpanned at Kazuma "How in hell I would rigg this if it's the first time I'm here besides, I'm just lucky"

Kazuma looked at me with an equally deadpanned expression "You were killed by a silly mistake made by Aqua"

"Touché" I just clicked the button once more and the light started to rotate again and become a pillar of light, after a few seconds two cards appeared.

*Ding* *Ding* *Ding*

Skill. Source: Sasaki Kojirou

Mind Eye(Fake) (A-Rank): Premonition or sixth sense is a natural talent to sense danger. See-through the weapon and style of his opponent after crossing blades only a few times, the perception of his eyes is the best among Servants.

"That's very nice, Sasaki's Mind Eye is one of the best in the whole Nasuverse, also if I play my cards well enough it will give me a lot of possibilities."

"Seriously what the hell is wrong with your luck,

"Told ya! I'm pretty lucky"

Kazuma sighed "Let's just keep with this shit"

Again I pressed the button and let the light rotate but this time the light pillar was brighter than the last two times.

*Ding* *Ding* *Ding*

Skill. Source : Cú Chulaiann

Rune Magecraft (B~Rank): Cú Chulainn can use the original Runes (Norse Runes), granted by his mentor Scáthach from his studies with her, appropriately using them to respond in different situations. "The warriors of the Land of Shadows must be proficient in every martial art; a warrior that just swings a spear shall not be raised" - maybe because his teacher Scáthach had such a policy, Cú Chulainn is also well versed in magecraft. A nearly first-rate magus, but since he sees it as a hindrance, it is not employed much. By making proper use of this, powerful and varied effects are mastered. Other than attacks, this is mainly employed for effects corresponding to the Skills Magic Resistance, Clairvoyance, for raising parameters to Rank A, etc. All of these applications are merely temporary and he cannot employ multiple those simultaneously

"What the fuck, how in the nine hells did you get the primordial runes! I call bullshit!!"

"Hahaha I must say that I didn't expect that hahaha*

"At least it can't get more ridiculous than this" Kazuma said with an exasperated expression.

Instantly after Kazuma said that I pressed the button. "Thanks, you pal, hahaha"

"What do you mean….." Kazuma couldn't finish the sentence instead because, at the next moment, a blinding golden light appeared in the room. And a golden card appeared in the middle of the pillar.

*Ding* *Ding* *Ding*

Weapon. Source: Alternate Nasuverse timeline.

Noble Phantasm: Armirger(E-A++Rank)

A project between Zelretch and a version of Emiya Shirou who owns the First True Magic. Zelretch as the Otaku he is became obsessed with Final Fantasy and especially with Versus XIII(He traveled to a universe where it wasn't canceled. Lucky Bastard) so he decided to create his version of Imperial Arms. With the help of Emiya, they created this Noble Phantasm that is based on a combination of Knights Owner, Gates of Babylon, and Unlimited Blade Work.

Abilities:

Royal's Arsenal: A treasure trove where the weapons that you collect in your travel will be stored to be used at the user's will.

Eye of the blacksmith king: Let the user analyze almost any weapon the user sees including the history of the weapon.

Royal's Forge: A forge capable of recreating almost any weapon the user had analyzed but it takes time to recreate it, the time it takes depends on the weapon, and the time it takes can be shortened if the user concentrates. Once it's created for the first time it can be re-created many times faster or create a downgraded copy of it.

Royal Owner: The passive effect is that any weapon stored in the royal arsenal can potentially become a Noble Phantasm if the weapon in question has enough "mystery" to become one and will be able to use any weapon ignoring any incompatibility.

Phantasmal Weapons: The user can summon phantasmal versions of the weapons stored in the royal's arsenal but it would be a degraded version of the weapons but it would cost many times less than a copy created with the Roya's forge.

Note: If anyone gets this, I must say that I'm seriously jealous of the lucky bastard that got it. The probability of getting it is 1 in 5,000,000,000,000. So, consider yourself one of the luckiest people in the multiverse so use it well.

P.D: If you die pathetically even with this I hope you got NTR'ed before you died.

With love the Gacha Administrator <3*

….

….

….

"What the fuck! And why does the administrator have to be so mean?"

"You and your bullshit luck, how the hell you get something that isn't even in the canon! this is broken as hell!! How is this on the starter pack poll!"

"Only Zelretch would think of something so broken and actually make it!"

"God, this is not the first time that I give cheats to a person, but you are by far the most insufferable of all of them! Well at least it means that you will be more useful and you won't die easily, so let's send you to the world of High School DXD"

"Wait before you send me, I have some questions"

"Shoot."

"First at what moment of the timeline I will be sent?"

"You will be sent two years before Issei gets reincarnated into a devil and you would be the same age as him"

Good, I have some time to gain more power and practice my abilities "Okay, the second question, can I change the 'plot' or do I have to maintain it somehow?"

"Well since you will be sent to an Alternate Universe of DXD there's no problem, and don't worry about the changes since that version is almost the same as the one you are familiar with except for some minor details, I can't give you the details of the changes but what I can tell you is that some older waifus are single there"

I made a shit-eating grin at Kazuma's words. "Last question, will I have actual identity and financial support? Or would I need to make those by myself?"

"Obviously you will have a legal identity with background since it would be very suspicious if you appeared from nowhere and we will give you some financial support including an apartment and money sent by a 'family member' working outside of Japan at the end of each month, you would not be rich but neither poor"

"Okay that's everything, you can send me off now"

Kazuma nodded at my words and snapped his fingers after a few seconds light started to surround me, but suddenly Kazuma began to panic but before I could ask him something, everything turned dark".

I opened my eyes slightly dizzy but nothing serious, I turned my head to look at my surroundings like Kazuma said, I was in an apartment but it seemed wearily old, the infrastructure didn't look old, but the decoration was the old-looking kind, not the classy type but the one you see in those old tv-shows. I saw a CTR-TV and I felt quite nostalgic since it has been a long time since the last time that I had seen one. After a couple of seconds, I stood up from where I was lying down and after that, I realized that everything seems bigger than it should it took me a couple of seconds to realize that, everything was a normal size but I was the short one, both my legs and arms were very short. I quickly looked for a mirror and when I looked at my reflection I felt very weird. In the mirror, I saw a young boy around 10 years old, with a cute face and onyx black hair, and beautiful purple eyes, I must say that seeing real purple eyes is quite an experience but this face seemed quite familiar.

"Damn, this means that I need to go through puberty again, what a drag, but seriously what the hell happened, does it mean that I came earlier than I was supposed to be, or am I younger? If it's the last-case scenario I'm kinda screwed since it would be difficult to fight with such a young body against those monsters. Anyways I need to check the apartment for some clues."

I looked around and I arrived at the kitchen, I must admit that even if I'm not a top chef this kitchen it's pretty neat but on the refrigerator, I saw a calendar but when I saw the current date it shocked me to my core.

"March 25 of….1989! Shit, what the hell I went to the nearest window to see the streets, and judging from the architecture it was not Japan.

"I don't know how or why, but I know that this is the fault of that damn useless goddess!!!"

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Hello everyone I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Well this is my new ff i had the idea for a couple of months but I was busy with work and personal shit, anyways I dont think that I would be able to do a daily update but I will try to at least make 3-4 chapters a week.

Leave at the comments what do you think about this chapter and try to guess where our MC is.

And before you ask he won´t be a Gary Stu, while the the things he got are good and kinda OP, he still need to learn how to use them and train to become strong since he is a 'weak' 'human' with some tricks on his sleeve.

About pairings i have a couple in mind but it still early on the story to say something. Also leave on the comments what Waiufu you would like to see/read I don´'t know how to say it hahahaha.

Also talking about Waifus, this will not be a chatching pokemon fic if you get me, while i like to read them I'm not confortable writing them.