Your Beloved Kouhai

As one of the few designated hitmen for every single one of humanity's fuck ups, there was a lot Emiya had seen and done all over the place but the current Chaldea stood out among all that and then some.

But well...

He supposed that humanity may have been wrong in it's initial judgement of the teenager poking a glass of apple juice like it was the most interesting thing in the world while lying against his counter.

While usually humanity's collective subconscious had a kill first and ask questions never approach to any and all potential threats, he was supposed to take a wait and see approach this time until it was decided whether Nicholas Martel was a threat or a boon.

In that regard, Nicholas raised a brow.

How many could claim they made humanity as a whole hesitate even if only for some time?

Though, Emiya supposed that may have been because Mother Nature went haywire and said fuck you to it by releasing all of it's 'pets' to destroy them completely.

He wasn't even going to talk about how the other celestial bodies in the Solar System were probably looking at them like a hungry dog would look at a piece of particularly juicy meat.

...Hell, if the Moon came close to destroying them, the planets could probably do much much worse.

With how things were, the stars probably wanted to fuck them over too.

...Then all the other random shit floating around in space.

Man, the life of a counter guardian was hard.

Goetia and his 72 Demon Gods were probably just the beginning.

Emiya sincerely hoped that Chaldea was ready for whatever decided to say fuck you to everything in Earth's general direction next.

The Archer shook his head to get rid of the idle thoughts, "I guess it doesn't really matter all that much."

"Nah man, chicks dig grey hair. I'd know."

"Excuse me?" Emiya stopped wiping his glass and turned to stare at the Chaldean Master.

Nicholas shrugged in response, sipping his juice, "You're worried about how your hair makes you look like an old man right?"

"..." Emiya paused... He paused and took in a deep breath, his brain desperately trying to make sense of the analogy, "I don't look like an old man... And I'm not worried about what colour my hair is either..."

"Sure sure, course you ain't. Hey Siegfried! Emiya could totally bag somebody right?"

"Ah..." The ancient Dragon Slayer jerked and looked over at them from his table like a man caught red handed, "Er... Well, yes, of course. If not for his looks, then for his attitude. Miss Da Vinci told me that his 'try hard emo' attitude really 'gets people going' these days."

Emiya didn't know what he was supposed to feel about that, "...What the hell has that woman been teaching you people?"

"See, I'll even be your wingman." Nicholas offered with a faint, amused smile, holding out his glass, "Let's spend a night on the town in the next singularity."

"...I think there's more pressing matters to attend to than me getting a date."

"Like what?"

Emiya pinched the bridge of his nose and groaned, "Oh I don't know... maybe doing something about the fact the rest of humanity is dead?"

"Oh yeah, there's that." Nicholas nodded.

"...Truly, a once in a millennium genius."

"Thanks man."

Emiya groaned again and Nicholas chortled, "I can't help but feel y'all think I'm dumber than I am..."

"Ever heard of the phrase, 'Actions speak louder than words.'? Also, you just admitted you are dumb."

It seemed their conversation managed to interest Siegfried who closed his book and peered over their way, "I'm afraid I must interject. Master's actions so far have been nothing short of legend... Even I can not say I bested Fafnir with my bare hands. He brought down a dictator, a vile wizard and reformed a depraved wi-"

"That's my wife you talking about." Nicholas chortled again, clearly not serious about his words.

"Ah yes, my apologies. Miss Jalter and liberated a nation by virtue of physical might."

"When you put it like that..." Emiya nodded slowly, scratching his chin, "If taking the Grails didn't reset the changes, this dumbass would probably enter the Throne of Heroes."

"Nah, I wouldn't." Nicholas brushed them off making both heroes curious.

...

..

.

Except seconds passed in silence, and Nicholas only sipped his juice, not explaining further.

"Alright, why?"

"I ain't fighting no wars for no pansy bitches, and I ain't getting used as a pawn either."

"Okay smartass, how would you just 'not enter the throne of heroes'?"

"I'd punt the gates." Nicholas answered so naturally it made Emiya doubt himself for a few seconds.

Emiya gave up, closed shop and left.

"Fine, be like that." Throwing his hands up in surrender, the teenager put the glass down and stood up to look around curiously, "Ayo Siegfried, what you reading?"

"Er... nothing." 

Siegfried threw his book in the trash with expert marksmanship.

"...Right."

-

Nicholas stood in the room designated for usage of the FATE system with his hands behind his back.

"I have to warn you against this Nicholas, we've been lucky so far but what if a hateful heroic spirit comes along?" Romani spoke out from behind his work station, running a gaze across the statistics showing across the screens, "We'll be done for if even the ventilation system is compromised. Not everyone is like you."

"It'll be fine, doc. Right Mash?" The teenager glanced at the dutiful Kouhai who nodded her head up and down, clutching a notepad near her chest, "I wanna try summoning Atilla."

"Yes, from what we've seen so far. The FATE system seems to use senpai's personality as the basis for a contract." Mash looked down at her notepad and then back up at Romani, "And I doubt someone like him would mean harm when considering our goals."

"Awww..."

Romani looked at the girl in slight awe, "I... I guess that's right... Still, you've been paying a lot of attention, huh?"

"...Erm, I don't think so..." The girl squirmed with tinted cheeks under the sudden scrutiny.

"See this is why she's our mascot, I'm ready to die for the Mashmallow." Nicholas pumped his fist, nodding firmly.

He was ready to bet a million bucks that you couldn't find a better kouhai than Mash Kyrielight.

And Fate took that personally.

A sharp blue light erupted from the summoning circle, temporarily blinding everyone in the room and when it faded away, it revealed a servant that could either be their downfall, or a trump card that could very well stomp their biggest enemy.

It was a purple haired girl wearing thigh high black stockings, one of those magician coats (he knew cause she had a stick too), a white shirt with a black skirt under it... And she had one of those annoying smiles that spelled trouble.

"Who is you?" Nicholas asked curiously, getting the sudden urge to clock the new servant in the face.

"Mhm Mhm Mhm... My instincts were right after all!" The girl appeared next to him faster than he could perceive, leaning in extremely close to the point where Nicholas had to lean back to avoid contact, "I sensed the presence of an amazing senpai and I was right! As expected of me."

"...Who even is you?"

"Ehhh... Don't you remember me?" She asked excitedly before pointing at her cheek, "You even punched me right here for..." She paused and put on a frown, mimicking his tone, "'Not moving.'... I think that was it!"

"...I don't know you woman."

"What? Really?" Her shoulders drooped, and she sniffled, "Such a tragedy...Sniff Sniff... And you were so cool when you punched the Moon Cell for trying to delete me too... Boo..."

Yes, she actually said Sniff Sniff.

"And you never got bored! Even after all we talked..." She then noticed his raised fist and yelped, "Kyaa! Are you going to hit me again!?"

The fuck was wrong with this chic-

Nicholas narrowed his eyes and slowly backed away, "What's a moon cell?"

Was this one of those time shenanigans?

Nicholas wanted to punch future Nicholas in the face.

"This hasn't happened before...Why do I feel threatened?" Mash asked herself quietly.

"O..." The girl's jaw dropped, "Wait wait, are you for real? But it's alright! Your wicked but ultimately cute BB will guide you along the path till our fateful meeting!"

-

Hope you enjoyed the chapter.

Anyone in the know can probably put together what happened here, I'd really like it if you shared your guesses.

For those who aren't in the know, just wait for the next chap, should clear up most of it.

-

Hope you enjoyed the chapter.