chapter 14

Just InCommunityForumMoreFairy Love by Dr Yandere Anime » Fairy Tail Rated: M, English, Romance & Drama, [Erza S., Natsu D., Mirajane S.], Words: 119k+, Favs: 317, Follows: 324, Published: Aug 8, 2020 Updated: Jun 14, 2022214Chapter 14: A Strike Back

The inspiration for this chapter is Omegadrift98's "Strolling Down Memory Lane again" and Squirtle1996's "I'll Look After You". I've been using a lot of other people's ideas, but this is my way of giving those stories a shout-out. I want to write it in to get you guys curious where I got the idea from so you could check those stories out. Yes, it's pathetic how I'm just reusing old ideas and yes, I'm just trying to spread the NaZa stories I like, but every little bit helps, right? (at least I hope so)

I want to make it clear that I get most of my ideas from other works, and as long as I can still trace back where I got my idea from, of course I'll give a shout-out to that work here. If I don't, it will most probably be copyright infringement.

Don't worry tho, I might like NaZa, but I won't be biased towards Mira in this story. I honestly didn't expect to like her with Natsu so much here. I initially wrote her as the biggest obstacle between Natsu and Erza (because I initially planned for this to be a NaZa fic in the first place), but I fell in love with her dynamic with Natsu. I guess some things really are unexpected.

This story will have two endings for the main gals, so there's no sad ending here. I couldn't relax knowing either Erza or Mira would end up in the gutter. So I decided to write an alternative ending for the one he doesn't end up with to give the ones supporting that pair closure. I don't want to keep you in this story by making an uncomfortable ending to make you wonder what could've been. If anything, I hope this story can stick with some of you guys because you liked its ending. Sad endings aren't really my thing.

I just think there's so much depression happening already, and I don't want to add to that atmosphere. I hate these works with sad endings and tragedies and shit because it contributes severely to the depression trend. It makes people weaker when they watch or read those, so they are more vulnerable to weakness. I mean, come on! Let's take a step forward towards happiness, yeah?

Enjoy J

Chapter 14: A Strike Back

It was decided that Erza would stay with Natsu until they find a way to turn her back. Ichiya was doing God knows what while this was all happening.

Flashback

"How do you like me now, Natsu?" child Erza asked with an innocent smile on her face.

"I want you to turn back!" Natsu shouted.

"Hey Natsu! Watch what you say in front of a child" Macao shouted.

"I didn't even say anything bad! And it's Erza!" Natsu defended himself.

"What they meant was that you should be more delicate of a child's feelings. Look-" Mira pointed at Erza with her head. Following her instruction, Natsu looked down at his lap and saw Erza pouting.

"Be more sensitive, man" Cana chimed in.

"More importantly, am I the only one who's wondering what happened to Erza?" Natsu ignored them and asked the important question that everyone seemed to be ignoring.

"Who cares? I like Erza better this way." Cana drank from her bottle. Everyone was ignoring her because she was in one of her drunken sprees as usual.

"Natsu's right, what happened, Erza?" Levy asked.

Everyone was too caught up with Erza's condition that no one noticed her supposed boyfriend (Jellal) put some distance between himself and her. Gildarts was also here now as well because he sensed the commotion downstairs from his office.

"What's going on here?" Gildarts asked everyone.

"Erza got turned into a child again and she was just about to tell us how." Mira answered quickly because she also wanted to her what happened from Erza. Gildarts stifled a laugh and urged Erza to continue.

"Okay, so I drank something weird by accident and the next thing I know, I was surrounded by a bright light and I felt a lot lighter." Everything else Erza said was true except for the fact that she didn't know what she drank.

"What did you drink?" Levy continued. Whenever there were problems like this at the guild, they usually turned to Master Makarov for help. But now that he was enjoying his retirement, Levy was the new sage in the guild. Gildarts was doing well as a guild master, but he didn't read enough to know things like this.

"I'm not sure. Someone at the bazaar was selling something new, so I thought I would give it a try. But when I drank it, this happened." Erza continued her lie. To everyone else, there was no reason for her to tell a lie. But Natsu knew better. She was up to something, he just knew it. At least, that's what his instincts told him. And his instincts were usually right.

"What did this guy look like?" Levy interrogated.

"All I can remember is that he has orange hair and a white suit on." Erza basically described Ichiya in case he came looking for her and she was exposed. This would soften the blow she'll receive. But he didn't specifically mention his name so that they would all have a harder time looking for him.

'I'm sorry, everyone. But I have to use this opportunity to get closer to Natsu.' Erza apologized in her mind.

"Everyone, find a guy with orange hair wearing a white suit in the bazaar district. Let's find out what that bastard did to Erza." Since Gildarts was here now, he was the one who gave this instruction.

The members of the guild scattered across town looking for the guy that matches Erza's description. Some of them passed by Ichiya, but they didn't think anything of him. Erza was vague after all, and no one saw any reason why Ichiya would do such a thing. Besides, they all thought it couldn't be him because he sells parfums that work on the nose, not by ingestion.

The ones who stayed behind had another discussion.

"We need someone to look after you for the time being. Since you can still talk to us normally, that means you still have your memories. However, it bothers me that you're still a child with a weaker body. And as you are now, someone needs to monitor you in case anything changes." Gildarts smartly said, with help from Levy.

"Jellal, make sure you take care of her." Gildarts immediately made his decision knowing that not only was the blue-haired mage Erza's boyfriend, he was also a capable and mature person. This made him perfect for the job.

Jellal awkwardly avoided Erza's gaze. He knew he should have left the guild while everyone was still preoccupied.

"But I want Natsu!" Erza childishly acted, surprising the other members of the guild.

Gildarts turned to Levy for an answer, "I'm guessing that while she may have her memories, she's acting like her age suggests." Everyone cooed, understanding her explanation. It did make sense. Satisfied with her answer, he turned towards Erza again.

"Why Natsu? Jellal's your boyfriend, isn't he? It's his duty to take care of you." Gildarts was wondering why Erza mentioned Natsu out of all people. Gildarts didn't want to say it out loud, but he felt like Natsu wasn't reliable enough to take care of a matter like this. When it came to fights, he was top-notch, but sensitive matters like this are lost on him. As the guild master, it was also his duty to know the strengths and weaknesses of his guild members.

Seeing how uncomfortably Jellal was fidgeting, Natsu remembered that he didn't want everyone to know yet while he's here. Being the good friend that he is, he provided Jellal with an escape.

"I'll do it! I have some stuff I need to talk to her about with anyway." Hearing himself, he couldn't help but feel like he was falling victim into Erza's plan. But he had to cover for Jellal. He was afraid of what Jellal would feel when he is forced to be alone with the girl who just broke up with him. He may not have any experience regarding break-ups, but he had a similar experience when he had his heart broken. Thankfully, he had Mira to help him deal with it, but Jellal had no one. So he thought he could be that someone for him.

"Is that fine with you, Jellal?" Gildarts turned to him for an answer.

"Yes. I have to go somewhere anyway, so I think it would be best if Erza stays behind so she wouldn't tire herself out." Jellal jumped on Natsu's train and thanked him with his mind. Natsu gave him a mental thumbs-up in return.

"All right then. Now that that's settled," Gildarts turned to Levy "Can you find anything in the guild's library that can help us find out what happened to Erza? You can have someone help you out."

Levy got on to her new job right away, taking Lucy with her. Gajeel looked after their child while she was away.

Jellal left for his reunion with the old members of Crime Sorciere as soon as everything was decided, and Natsu moved Erza with him to the bar where Mira was at. He was afraid Erza might try something if they were alone in one table, so he moved them somewhere that would make it impossible for her to try anything with him.

He stayed there for the rest of the day until they had to go home. Predictably, no one found the mystery drink seller and Levy didn't find anything yet in the library with Lucy, so they decided to try again tomorrow.

Flashback End

Even though he didn't want to, he was once again left alone with Erza at his house. Mira insisted she could take care of Erza in his place, but Natsu was afraid of what Erza might do. Ever since earlier, he was extra conscious around Erza's actions. She said she would do anything to have him, and Natsu believed her. If she was bold enough to violate him without his consent and then even use it against him, he was scared to see what else she would do. Erza was like a ticking time bomb. He wanted to keep the damage to himself as much as possible.

He was cooking their dinner right now, while Erza was seated on one of his chairs staring at him intently. He was bothered by it, but he kept it to himself for now. He didn't feel like starting a conversation with her. He just wanted to get through the night without anything happening although he knew the chances of that happening was very low. Now that Erza created a situation where no one will be suspicious about them being alone at his house, he was scared to see how much she would take advantage of this situation.

'This sucks.' He told himself while chopping up ingredients to use for the meal he was planning to make.

When Erza giggled, he couldn't hold himself back anymore, "What? You never saw anyone cooking before?" He was irritated because he thought she was making fun of him.

"I did. I was just amazed that you knew how to. I didn't pin you for the type of guy who knew how to cook for himself."

"You making fun of me? You sure lost your childish touch as soon as you got me alone, huh?" A tick mark appeared on his head.

"Relax, I'm just complimenting you."

"Didn't seem like it…" He mumbled to himself.

"So Natsu-"

"Stop! Can we please not do this. I'm not talking to you unless I have to. I don't want you pulling some crazy shit again." He cut her off. His patience was lower compared to others, but he didn't even bother using his filter with Erza anymore. He didn't care how she saw him. If she came to hate him… then he would deal with that when the time comes. He may be mad at her, but he didn't want to distance himself from her permanently. She was important to him.

"Are you sure you want to talk to me like that?" Natsu paled. So she wasn't gonna hesitate, huh?

"Tch, fine. What do you want?" Natsu clicked his tongue, clearly annoyed that he had to put up with this. He swore he would find the right opportunity to get himself out of this mess, but he had to bear with it for now.

"I just want to talk." Erza simply answered. Even if she knows Natsu was mad at her, she wasn't gonna lose her patience and fight back. She could understand what he was feeling because even she would get angry if she was the one in his shoes. She just had to tough it out and bear with his hostility until she breaks inside his heart again.

"Fine, what do you want to talk about?" He mindlessly asked. He was forced to entertain her, so he didn't have to act like he liked it.

"I wanted to clear something up with you before you get the wrong idea. I'm not doing this to spite you or get back at you. I'm doing this to make you understand how much I love you."

"This again? You already said that earlier. If you really love me, then you shouldn't have gone this far. You would learn to let me go." He remembered his brief conversation with Jellal earlier, and used it against Erza.

"I know how unhealthy and out-of-place my obsession with you is, but do you really have to bring me down like that?"

"What else do you expect me to say? That I'm fine with it? Just because it's you, it should be fine compared to others? You're sick." Erza knew she was in the wrong, but she still desperately defended herself. She wanted to make Natsu open his mind and see, even just for a tiny bit, where she was coming from.

"So you're saying you don't even like what I'm doing, even if it's just deep inside you? What makes my action so inexcusable? Why is it that to you, I crossed such an unforgivable line?" Erza didn't hold back anymore. She was going to say all the things she was afraid to earlier. She wasn't going to start this relationship between them with something as heavy as this weighing down on their minds. She was going to strike while the iron's hot, and get everything out in the open before it's too late.

This wasn't going to be one of those romances where she will wait to say all these things. This wasn't going to be one of those romances where everything is said at the last minute, and sometimes it doesn't even end in a happy ending.

She wasn't going to be the same as all those other women. She was going to stand up for herself and get what she wants. She was going to work hard for it, and her way of doing may not be as clean and pure as what people expect of a person in love, but none of those mattered to her.

She didn't care about what others thought of her anymore, because her heart was genuinely set on Natsu. She lived her whole life pushing herself to become a role model for others so she could hide her own insecurities and pain she felt deep down inside. She may not seem like it, but she was always conscious about what others thought of her. She had her quirks just like most people, but it was never her intention to make those things public, it just so happens that things align to make others find it out about her. But with Natsu, it was different.

She loved him so much that she could no longer sit still and watch as he slipped further away. She was always feeling ditzy and uncomfortable, but she always did her best to ignore it. Even when she was going crazy at night thinking about him, she told herself that she should be happy that he is. Even when she spent all night and couldn't even sleep anymore sometimes because of her thoughts of him, she told herself it was worth the pain as long as she can see him smiling. Even if it wasn't directed at her, she told herself to be happy, and focus on making Jellal and herself content with what they have.

But when she saw how Poryluscica's life turned out, she didn't feel like she had to be sad for her. She felt sad for herself.

She didn't want to value the sentimental values that tie her down, like her sense of morality, above her love for Natsu. She believed that doing so just affirms the fact that if she can't even get past her own principles and moral values to get to Natsu, then she might as well just tell herself that the reason why she wanted to love someone so badly was because she wanted to alleviate her loneliness, and she expected something from her partner that transcends their genuine love for each other.

She didn't want to fall prey to society's expectations. She was pathetic. She was like the other women oyt there who unconditionally loves their partner blindly. Although for all the things she accepted herself to be, she knew that no matter how much she dissuades herself, how much someone might say she was still living in an illusion, she knew there was no mistaking her feelings. She loved Natsu even above herself.

She never knew she would feel this way towards someone, and Natsu of all people, but no matter how perfect she seemed, she was still human. She was a slave to her own emotions. She fell prey to her vices. So what? She was a woman in love and this is what her heart was telling her.

Even though Natsu thought he had the answer, he couldn't speak up.

"Is it because I did that to you without your consent? Then please forgive me, because I did something else by also loving you without your permission." Erza continued. Things were heating up, but she had to at least clear things up a little. Not just for her peace of mind, but more importantly for her, his.

"Can you please try to make an effort to understand me? I feel more pain from your hatred than anything I've ever felt before. It's killing me." Erza was desperate to at least restore their relationship to a less hostile one. One where they can act normally around each other.

Natsu looked like he was trying to process everything she just said.

"I hope you don't think I would suddenly take you in my arms because of all the things you said. I still don't understand everything you said, but I want to. I just want to have the old Erza back."

"What if she never comes back? Will you get tired of me one day, and leave me?"

"I…I don't know. I never thought the day would come when I would feel this way towards you, so I don't know what will happen. I can't understand my self anymore." Natsu sounded vulnerable. He didn't want to lose one of his best friends, especially after all they've been through together, a special bond like that was hard to sever. But in the span of just two days, he 's never been so conflicted about his feelings than his entire lifetime.

"It's okay to be confused about what you're feeling. I am too. I also never thought I would do something like this, but here we are. Fate may have a different ending, but I still want to treasure this moment and hold on to it as much as I can."

"You're right, I'm sorry. I guess I was just feeling so angry because I didn't understand my own feelings. And I directed all of it towards you. While I am mad that you basically raped me, I know that I can't stay mad at you forever. I know I sound weak like this, but I can't help it."

"That's not true! I think your forgiving nature is one of your greatest strengths" Erza defended him from himself.

"I have a hard time believing that right now because you're trying to win my favor, but thanks, I wanted to hear that." Natsu smiled at her, which she returned with an even bigger smile of her own. Her childish form made more it have more of an impact.

Seeing how happy Erza was over something as simple as removing his hostility, he came up with an idea.

"Hey Erz, I have an idea." Since Natsu was the one who took the initiative this time, she couldn't help but be excited.

"What? What is it?"

"I just thought that since I'll be following you around anyway, what if we kill two birds with one stone?"

The way he said it piqued her curiosity even more.

"Go on! Stop wasting time and tell me." Erza had a childish glint in her eye. Perhaps Levy's theory may not be so farfetched after all.

"Since we don't know what the future holds, we'll never know if I can ever return your feelings again. So to prepare for the worst-case scenario, how about we agree to this deal where I help you get over me?" Natsu sounded smart for once, but Erza ignored this fact.

"How do you mean? Even Jellal couldn't do it, what makes you think you of all people can?" It didn't make sense to her. For once, Natsu was actually the one with the answers. How could she get over him if he was the one helping her? Wouldn't that make her fall for him even more?

"What I mean is how about you just get used to being with me. Until you get tired of me, we can spend a lot of time together." He felt like he was indirectly cheating on Mira, but he only had pure intentions for Erza.

"So you want me around you so I can get sick of you?"

"Yeah, pretty awesome idea, huh? To think I came up with something like this, maybe I'm already getting smarter."

After a few seconds of silence, Erza started laughing.

"Hey! What's so funny?"

"I thought your idea would be really something, but it was just that."

"What's so wrong about it? I do my end of the deal and do whatever you want, and you can be around me all the time until you get sick of it. What's the big deal?"

"Don't you hear yourself? It sounds like you're the one who wants me to be with you. Not that I'm complaining, but I don't think it will work."

"What? Why? It doesn't sound stupid to me."

"Yeah, but my love for you isn't so small and simple like me getting tired of you just because of something like that. If anything, it will make me cling to you even more."

"So it's a bust…" Natsu was on the floor with his hands and knees in a comical depression pose.

"But let's try it anyway."

Natsu looked up from the floor, "Huh?"

"It probably won't work, but we'll never know unless we try, right?"

"Really? Didn't you say it won't work?"

"I said probably, so there's still a chance. Besides, I want to see myself what would happen. At this point, I don't think we should be surprised about anything anymore."

Natsu stood up from the floor instantly and beamed at Erza "Really? Then let's do it!" Natsu said enthusiastically, bringing Erza along his cheerfulness.

"Yeah, let's!" Erza childishly gleamed.

"To celebrate our new deal, I'll cook something better. Just sit there and wait for me to finish this. I promise you my cooking won't taste that bad. I learned it from Mira, after all."

Erza pouted at the mention of Mira's name, but Natsu overlooked it because he already focused back to cooking again.

Erza was just happy she was able to get Natsu to stop being mad at her for now.

…

After they finished the delicious dinner Natsu made, they each took a bath (separately) and once they were done, Natsu gave the bed to Erza.

"But this is your house, so it's you who should be using the bed." Erza insisted. This might sound funny considering what she did last night, but she stuck to this basic courtesy.

"But you're a girl. Better yet, you're a kid again. Now that I'm the adult here, I want to act like it."

"Then at least use it with me. It's only fair this way."

"Nice try, but I'm not falling for that. Good night, Erza." Natsu forcefully left the room to avoid her stubbornness.

But before he could leave, Erza tugged at his nightshirt with a surprising amount of power (for a kid) and got him to stay.

"I'm serious. I won't try anything, so just sleep beside me." Erza said using a child's secret weapon: the puppy dog eyes.

"How do I know you won't flip your shit like you did yesterday? I'm sorry, but I find it hard to trust you right now."

Erza pouted, knowing she had nothing to say back to that. But then, she came up with an idea based off of their conversation from earlier.

"But didn't you say you want me to get over you? Staying in a bed with you and not doing anything will help me, don't you think so?"

This time, it was Natsu who got checkmated.

"Fine. But control yourself." Natsu grumbled while stomping his way into his own bed.

"I already said I will…" Erza quietly mumbled to herself.

Natsu took the left side while Erza was at his right. He was schooched up further away from the middle because of his unease around her.

Once they were both tucked in the covers and were lying on their backs facing the ceiling, Erza decided to start another conversation.

"You don't have to be so cautious of me, you know? Even if I wanted to, you can easily push me away with this weaker body of mine."

"That's not what I'm worried about. You doing it is."

Erza sighed.

"Alright, alright. Whatever floats your boat."

Natsu snorted in response.

"Just try to go to sleep. Maybe tomorrow, we can find a way to turn you back." Natsu rolled over to the side to face away from Erza, but she wasn't done yet. She didn't know if Natsu already knew that she did this on purpose, but he was doing a good job of acting like he didn't. Actually, the part about her becoming a child still baffled her because she wanted to be the pure girl Natsu wanted, but seeing how much progress she made with Natsu because of this, she wasn't complaining anymore. Everything did happen for a reason, right?

"Natsu, do you really hate spending time with me that much now? I may have done what I did with a clear goal in mind last night, but seeing how you're being, I kind of wish I should have done something else to get your attention. This sucks."

"It's not that I hate you. I'm mad at you right now, but I could never hate you. You're one of the most important people to me, and I don't want to lose you over something like this."

"I see. Thank you, Natsu." Erza smiled at his back, not caring if he would see it or not. She was just happy about what Natsu said. If this was someone else, they would have undoubtedly pushed her away by now, but Natsu always wanted to see the good in things. He wouldn't be the same without it.

Natsu was so mad at Erza just a while ago, and now for some reason, he felt himself smiling. Maybe he really was too soft sometimes.

"I know I said this a lot of times already, but I'm sorry for violating you last night. I fell victim to my desperation."

"And I already said it doesn't matter anymore as long as you know what you did was wrong, and that you would make an effort to make up for it in the future. Let's just forget the past and live in the present, okay?"

"Okay."

"But just out of sheer curiosity, what exactly pushed you to think of such a thing? If you really loved me, you would do your best to wish for my happiness, right? I only found out you liked me last night, but with everything that happened today, I feel so tired as if you did this a long time ago."

"I know this sounds stupid, but to me, I believe love is the invisible force that makes you ignore everything else. I know I went about it the wrong way, but does my actions have to make sense for you to accept it as love? I never understood what the phrase "love makes no sense" mean, and I'm not sure if I'm using it correctly, but I can't help but think of it when I reflect on myself. Sometimes, a feeling becomes even more real even if you can't explain it. That just shows how strong your feelings are."

"..." Natsu had no answer to that. Even if this was his first time hearing it, it hit him harder than he thought. He could kind of relate what she was saying to what he used to feel about her back then. But then, he found Mira. As if fate was stringing them together, he never imagined he would love anyone as much as he did to Mira of all people. They were never close, but now it was even weirder for them to not know something about each other.

He perfectly knew the reason why he loved Mira, but he had long since forgotten what he had for Erza. Deep down, he felt oddly satisfied when he found out Erza liked him. Maybe it was because it gave him a chance to achieve closure to his unrequited love back then. That's what his mind came up with. It was the most logical explanation he could come up with.

"All I'm asking for is for you to give me a chance." Natsu remained unresponsive, so Erza thought he was already sleeping, or trying to.

"Good night, Natsu. Thanks for everything today." Erza genuinely said as she rolled over to her own side of the bed and tried to sleep as well.

Natsu didn't know what she could be thankful for today, but he brushed that useless thought aside. Once he started to hear her soft snores with his enhanced hearing, he let sleep take over him. He was going to sleep properly tonight unlike the previous night.

He fell into slumber with his last, drifting thoughts in mind.

'You lost your chance a long time ago.'

A lot of people will think this feels forced, but I do not care. I want my story to go just the way I like it.

And I know no matter how much I try to convince you guys and justify Erza's actions up until this point, you will never see it. You will say I'm trying so hard, it's pitiful. You will say I'm not doing a good job convincing you at all. You will say I'm a child who doesn't understand what I'm really talking about, and that I should grow up and come back when I'm ready as an adult. You will force yourself to close your mind from what I'm saying maybe because you will be confused, maybe you won't get it, maybe you don't want to understand it, maybe you want to ride on everyone else's train and call me out as the rest of the world sees it. I know I'm being conceited here, and I'm overexaggerating here when I say no one understands, but I have yet to see someone who does, so can you really blame me? It never hurts to try, right? I'm not the type of guy who just rolls over and accepts things because it is the right thing or because it is what makes sense. Sometimes, things have to make no sense for you to truly understand what you want.

This is really becoming more of a realistic story, rather than a decent fanfiction at this point. The dialogue, their reactions, the monologues, the unexpected situations that don't abide by cliché logic; it's becoming more boring because I'm trying to incorporate realness here while sticking to the series as much as possible. This isn't for most people, so I'm sorry. But I don't want to give in to the pressure of how you want things to go just so I can please you. I'm mostly writing this for me. I write this in the way I feel a person in their position would feel, so I want to at least share to you a glimpse of that.

And this story is confusing if you're not really focusing on it, so read it when you have nothing weighing down your mind. Trust me-this would make so much more sense that way. And don't read if you don't like it. You'll disagree with a lot of things which will make you lash out at me, and I don't have time to deal with that. Now that school's back with an even more advanced syllabus than ever, I don't want to stress myself even more.

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