Chapter 8

After the fight, Benjamin walked home and rummaged through his DVD collection for all of his Star Wars DVDS. He made a bowl of popcorn and sat in front of the TV before putting in A New Hope.

Jack watched with interest and commented as Darth Vader showed up. "That is a cool cape. I had one when I was alive ya' know. Wait did he just choke a guy to death with his mind?"

When the farm was burned to the ground he cackled. "Ahahaha! They put the bodies out front for everyone to see? Those sadistic freaks, I love it!"

The Cantina scene had reactions he agreed with. "Holy shit that old guy just cut off that alien's hand off! That was badass. Wait who shot first the guy in leather or the green freak? Who is Jabba the Hut? Is that a joke about Pizza Hut?"

Eventually the Death Star came up and he blinked. "Wouldn't it just be easier to put the deathray on one of those bigass ships?"

"Don't question the logic it is a science fiction movie."

By the end of the movie Jack more or less forced him to put the next one in. He was bored until the first battle started. "Wow those are big ass siege engines on legs. Wait they are tying them up with rope? That is bullshit."

The Tauntaun scene got him rolling on the floor laughing about the suffering of others.

Afterwards it was mostly him being annoyed that he couldn't eat Benjamin's popcorn due to being an incorporeal spirit. Yoda showed up and he started laughing about 'A goddamn Muppet being blondie's teacher.' Then Cloud City happened. Jack sighed. "The black guy is going to be the traitor, come on guys."

Benjamin looked at him. "You don't know that."

"He is the one black guy in the series from the 70s or was it the 60s so far and is not comic relief or an angry police chief and you expect me not to assume they wrote him out to be a bad guy or traitor?"

Benjamin looked down. "Hollywood was really weird back then."

When the betrayal scene happened he raised his hand. "Called it."

Eventually they got to the big reveal. Jack blinked. "He's his dad. Darth Vader… Vater? Was that supposed to be a pun because it is phonetically similar to the German word for father?"

Benjamin shrugged. "It has been the subject of debate for decades."

At the end, he put in the next movie.

"Why is he wearing all black on a desert planet with multiple suns? He is going to get heat stroke." Benjamin actually agreed on that part.

"Why does being frozen make you blind?" Again he had to agree.

"Why does a slug, which is a hermaphrodite and from the look of it this alien piece of shit doesn't even have genitals want to keep a bunch of women from different species around him dressed in bikinis?" That was a remarkably well thought out question.

Jack's eye twitched when Leia blew up the hover yacht pleasure boat thing. "Woman you are better than that! You blew up that thing while all of those other slave girls were chained up to that slug monster. Princess of the Rebellion my serial killer people shanking ass!"

They continued waiting for the scene Benjamin really wanted Jack to react to.

"Wait what the fuck? They're twins? You two exchanged saliva and the entire reason he got off of the farm was to get jiggy with you. Was this a bait and switch? Also if she's his sister then she's Vader's daughter and he didn't sense it with his space magic? Why didn't the old guy notice she had the potential for space magic? Answer me movie, answer me!"

At the end he shrugged. "Good series even though it pissed me off at points."

Benjamin put in the first prequel.

"Why are you laughing kid? What did you put in? What? What the fuck is happening?"

He made Jack watch all of the prequels.

Jack sobbed on the floor. "The horror. Why? Why did they have to make that abomination? What was with the pseudo-Jamaican frog monster? And why was it such a stereotype? And the kid, ugh the kid. She was at least ten years older than the kid why did she have to go and do him? And why did the actors have to be so terrible at it?"

He continued to jabber in that state until Benjamin put in Hellsing Ultimate Edition.

"Oh fuck the hell yes kid!" Jack jumped up.