a forgotten past

pov keith

Since my early years, I had almost everything I could have wanted .

my parents dots on me alot, Everything I asked of them, they gave it to me.

I was happy, I had friends to play with, and I was also a good child who didn't do things my parents told me not to do.

In short, I had a happy life and I was satisfied with it.

but everything change since that day.

When I was ten, I was kidnapped by three people who demanded money in exchange for my life, and I stayed with them for Three days , on the third day, one of them brought with him the money my father gave him, then threw me in a forest close to our castle and ran away at a speed I didn't think was possible for some normal bandits.

My father soon found me and hugged me, asking if I was okay, if I wasn't hurt, and my mother also came crying, asking the same question. my father had asked before.

strangely I didn't cry like I thought i would instead with a shallow smile I said to them "I am okay don't worry" as if they perceived the change in their child they start crying i who was in the middle of them strangely couldn't feel anything.

When I smiled and told my parents that I was fine, I was only making myself smile; it wasn't natural..

few days later I told my father that I couldn't feel anything, he immediately asked his butler to bring our family's doctor.

He said that because he didn't find anything wrong with my body, this could just be the result of the shock and that everything would return to normal in a few days to a few months, but I didn't believe him because even though I was scared when I was kidnapped, I wasn't really shocked as those bandits didn't really do anything harmful to me at that time.

Since that day, I have lived emotionless and indifferently.

It was difficult at first, but I worked hard to simulate the emotions and reactions that I would normally have when asked about something or talking to someone, and since then, I have been simulating and simulating and simulating .

Even so, the brain can never imitate the heart, so there were several flaws in my acting that nearly caused my mother to breakdown when She realised that I could not feel anything up until now.

after this period of trying to imitate feeling, I realised one thing important that is that I wasn't completely emotionless.

I can feel some emotions, but only for a brief moment, and if the emotions were not intense enough, I would not be able to feel them. I can feel negative emotions more easily than positive emotions.

Eating delicious food can help me generate emotion, albeit only a little, and if I eat the same foot for a while, even that little bit disappears ,anger can last longer self-humiliation can last longer as well, even so those feelings start to become dull with time, but even with emotional suppression, it didn't mean that the morals I learned as a child had gone away.

When I realised that inflicting pain on others made me feel emotions for a long time, I didn't do it right away, but as time passed and I didn't have anything else to gain emotion from, my willpower grew weaker by the day until I gave up.

At first, I was very hesitant to this kind of action because the feelings I was receiving were only guilt, but as time passed, my feelings started to change and be distorted as instead of guilt, I now only feel pleasure in doing this, and ,from then on I couldn't stop myself from torturing and torturing and torturing.

I tortured everyone, whether it was a slave I bought in the market or a citizen I saw on the streets, i didn't leave anyone behind I also tortured people of all races..

After that, my perspective expanded from physical to mental torture.

when i grew up to a teenager ,I learned the pleasure of flesh as a teenager, so I gathered a lot of women around me, willingly and unwillingly, and when I used them, I threw them off, leaving them to live their lives in misery, giving me double the pleasure in one deed.

At this point, I had lost all morals and had forgotten why I was doing this in the first place.

My parents, who had been trying their hardest to tolerate my actions because they were aware of my problem, couldn't do so any longer, so they said they would send me as mayor to a city called Oakenburn in my father's territory.

I didn't really care about that, so I went to that city without complaining.

And nothing really changed with the change of location; I did the same thing I did before coming here, if not more so, because I had more freedom than i had before.

to the point where I felt my parents were rewarding me rather than punishing me.

After that, I did every bad deed one could think of, be it murder, rape and others i did everything .

When I do some crimes, I would choose some people to shoulder it instead of me in papers randomly in the streets of the city, then throw them in the underground prison under the ancient colosseum of the city that I built after coming here and have the champion or the king of the Colosseum, chosen by strength to kill those prisoners.

that was how it was for a whole 10 years i did everything i wantedm

Until 3 months ago,when I met that man in the forest with a corpse of lion monster beside him, he had one arm and a unique black hair that I had never seen before or even heard of so I thought he must be a barbarian from some clan in the mountain that was not connected to the outside world such a thing happen few times in history so I didn't really care so I asked my men in the merchant fleet whom I brought with me to take him with us.

I made that man my slave and asked him to participate in the colosseum because the previous month's king of the colosseum died and I needed someone strong to take his place, and seeing as he defeated the lion, I thought he should be able to do so.

The longer we talked, an emotion I hadn't felt in a long time infiltrated my soul.

That is anger.

That anger stemmed from his attitude towards me and his refusal to kill the prisoners.

Even though I appeared angry, I was actually savouring the feeling of anger that was filling me at the moment.

It's been a long time since I felt angry, and this anger stemmed from my pride and arrogance as an empire noble, and as no one is brave enough to challenge me like Leo did, i didn't feel this kind of feeling since my child years, so instead of killing him, I decided to break him, so I asked the torturers after I did it with my hand the first time to torture him as much as they wanted and could do without killing him.

Days passed, despite the fact that he showed signs of pain in his faces in the first few days.

But later his face remained indifferent, so I asked them to torture him more every time he got used to the current torture.

he seems to be a superman in endurance and willpower he endured for a whole month but he didn't break then i realised that physical pain wouldn't be enough so i tried to shock his mentality by blindfolded him.

but even though that was able to affect him a little he reached somehow a temporally peace with himself so i ordered them to plug his ear with a magical item i have that seal one's hearing ability as long as he wear it, here he start to struggle both physically and mentally.

He began to get more injured and his experiences worsened, and his peace of mind was destroyed once more, but as if a monster, he began to stand up again.

One thing I realised while observing him this month is that this man named Leo is a genius warrior.

He quickly adapted to losing his sight, and now he quickly adapts to losing his hearing, which was even more difficult because only touch and smell are still with him at that time, he even grow stronger instead of growing weaker.

The thought of breaking such an unpolished gem brought pleasure to my heart.

But, just as the man was reaching his physical and mental limits, those idiot torturers lost their patients and cut a large wound in his neck; if the healer doom had not been nearby at that time, he would have already died.

This was not what I wanted; if I had wanted to kill him, I would have done so a long time ago.

Instead, I wanted to break him down.

I didn't mind if he resisted for a long time because the longer he resisted, the more I would feel when he broke down.

So, after hearing that he was steps away from death and only survived by chance, I couldn't help but feel even more enraged than when I first met Leo a few months ago.

so I took my sword, opened my magical circuit , when i saw those tortures who were about to beg for forgiveness ,i swung the sword in my hand cleaving them in half with the wall behind them from rage.

If Leo saw this scene, he'd be surprised at how strong he was despite not having even the slightest traces training.

After that, i went to Doctor Doom and asked when Leo would be able to stand up again. "I think a weak at least is needed two at most, the place he was cut in is very sensitive i can't heal it quickly, i only did a primary healing now so he could stay alive if he even walked right now his wound would be opened and his death would came at that time without doubt"" (Doom) replied.

"It's that serious ,okay make sure he stays alive and send him back to prison in less than ten days"(keith)

"ok sir, i would do my best"(doom)

'Now he has 10 days to rest, and I am confident that with his unusually strong willpower, he will recover his spirit in these days, which will make breaking him even more difficult than before' just thinking about this I couldn't help but feel angry again. I felt that I shouldn't have been in such a rush to kill those tortures, but that I should have tortured them so i could feel satisfied.

"Now that there is only less a month away before the duke came , I can't really torture him anymore, even if he comes later after 10 days; instead, his torture will have to wait until the duke leaves."(keith)

thinking of this i sighed as i went through the hallway that leads to my room to sleep.