Ch. 4:

♦︎ Slave to the dead or In the Sunlight ♦︎



(T)-there was a woman inside. A real looking woman. Now my fear was gone totally and replaced by utter curiosity. But by looking closer, I noticed the woman looked a lot like... Ena herself!

H-How was that possible ?! I thought panicked. I tried to regain a certain calm . Breath in .. Breath out. It's alright . You have to do this for Ena. You have to understand what the actual hell is going on ? !! After I calmed down a bit , I gave myself the benefit of a thought.

The woman had the same eye color as Ena and the same facial features.Yet they had different hair colors. The woman's hair was light brown though Ena's real hair color was dark and curly. So this definitely wasn't Ena though their resemblance was queer.

" Hear me out now little girl." said the woman in the mirror, startling me out of my skin. I put my hand over my chest , trying to cease the pounding of my heart. I started to back out of the bathroom, I really wasn't sure if I wanted to stay any longer, what with that woman has set a goal to kill me with myocardial infarction.

" Your sister is under my control. You must know it. I possess her body. " The woman said in a low hollow voice. I picked up my steps and tried running before she beat me to it and went to lock the door to the bathroom. My eyes widened in realization. How was that possible? I looked down and saw Ena still lying down unconscious. I looked back up again to be met with the very physical figure of the woman of the mirror, except now she had turned into Ena.

What?! No ,no , no, no we're not in a horror movie are we? I'm sure I heard her wrong. Then something swiftly caught my neck and pinned me to the wall. I gasped in a in shock. It was my sister strangling me.

" Ena! Stop it ! It's me, Lone! You're hurting me! I can't breath! E-Ena..." I tried to recall to her but to no use. She really did seem possessed. It was as if she wasn't there. I couldn't recognize my sister anymore. Only a monster was at her place.

" Now you'll listen to me or I will have no choice but to kill you."

I heard Ena say, her words filled with venom and I struggled to make something out of her words. My tears couldn't stop running. I was so afraid I was trembling all over.This isn't my sister. Why would she kill me ? I don't understand anymore . Ena , where are you?

" Your sister and I were born sharing the same body. She was fragile and because of my presence she was able to survive past her 6th year. Now she has to pay me back by fulfilling my bidding."

" I don't understand- what you are saying- P-please ..Ena ..loosen your grip." I said between choked words.

As I stared right into her eyes, I begged with all my heart my sister to come back to me. But she was not reacting.

"Ena.." I murmured the world around me spinning. I was losing conscience. But as I was falling under, I heard those last words.

" Be sure that I'll come back if this time your sister hasn't done what I want her to."

〜 ♦︎ 〜

Ena

Dear diary,

Life is everything and nothing at the same time. It's what gives us the best feelings and it's also what makes us suffer the most.

I did something today that almost drove me mad. I- I can't believe I almost killed my sister. My Lone! How could I have done that? I don't understand it anymore. Am I going real insane? I don't know what to do ! I don't even know what took over me! Why me?

I heard a scratch. My pain unconsciously drove my pen to tear the paper .Then I noticed that little dots were getting my diary wet. I sighed. I need to a grip on my life. I can't continue on like this. I can't keep on hurting the people I love . I need to understand what's going on , what's wrong with me. I passed a frustrated hand through my hair and pulled down on it.

Just then I heard someone open my door ever so slowly.I didn't have to turn to know who it was.

" I know it's you Lone ." She bubbed her head through the door, looking so small and intimidated , but still not daring to enter. I can't believe I scared her that much. She must feel so insecure. I felt so sorry about what I'd done . A single tear slid down my cheek. Wiping it off , I tried on a light smile.

" I won't bite you know. " I said encouragingly.

" This is not the impression I got back there." She answered gloomily. I blinked back my tears. This wasn't the moment to break down.I bit my lip in apprehension and tried to think about what little I remembered that happened back there.

I opened my eyes to the light of my bathroom that seemed to be dim, probably from how blurred my vision was. I closed my eyes again and tried to sit up instantly feeling a throbbing headache that almost knocked me off. I grunted in pain and opened back my eyes to try and understand what happened. I was sure I went into my bathroom intending to take a shower. But when I came to stand in front of my mirror in blink of an eye , everything went dark.

I refocused my vision to my surroundings and noticed a little form crouched down on the floor. Is this...Lone ?! I immediately scrambled back up and approached her. But as soon as I reached my hand out to her, she flinched back as if afraid of me.

"Lone ? What happened ? Are you alright ?" She stayed silent her eyes fixated on me, assessing my every moves as if trying to anticipate them. Like she was afraid I would do something if she ever takes her eyes off me. Her gaze was wide and her eyes dilated as if she was stuck in time. She wasn't even blinking.

"Lone did I ... did I do this to you ?" She still wasn't responding and her silence was driving me crazy. The more I was left to imagine what happened , the more I was getting worried that I did the unthinkable.

" Lone please don't do this ! Don't shut me out, I need to know!" I reached a hand again aiming to stroke her hair but she recoiled and hid further in her corner. I felt my own heart sink deeper.

" I did this , didn't I ? I ended up doing it huh ? I ended up hurting you and you're so right for resenting me!" Then in a frenzy of thoughts I started worrying about where I hurt her. This time I forced my touch unto her and tried searching her face for any bruises , while she was trying to struggle against me." Let me see , let me know from where the monster I am hur- "

Slap !

The loudness of the slap resonated with my pain. I twisted my head back up to look at her in shock. Then she came close and hugged me, burying her head deep in my neck. She held me in a death clutch.

" Hug me tight and make me forget. Please." She said her voice barely above a whisper.

" Lone, please don't be like that. You still haven't told me anything about what really happened back there. I'm still not even sure that I really did hurt you." I said trying to convince myself with hope that these words were true.

" Harm can also be psychological , emotional. It doesn't need to be physical." She said her eyes holding a glint of grudge, that I could tell from how tight her lips were pursed and how taut she stood. It felt as if she was still on her guard with me. I bit my lip harder, though I felt my eyes getting blurry. She averted her gaze.

" But it- it wasn't any different from all the other times." She said her voice quavering, as guilt overcame her. I stood up and went to hug her but she stopped me.

" Ena, I'm sorry I- I shouldn't have spoken like that-" Her voice cracked and she started crying. I held her in my arms and felt her melt in my embrace as my heart melted with her. I hated it when she got like this but this happened all too often whenever one of my fits emotionally weighed down on her, and she got too afraid or too mad from witnessing one of my fits, she would usually get mean and say incoherent words.

" Hey ! You're crushing me! L-loosen up!"

"Oh sorry Lone , princess, I'm so sorry. Talk about not wanting to hurt you."

"Would you stop apologizing already ? I'm fine now."

" Oh okay. My bad..." I said with a half smile trying to taunt her miss-I-know-all side. she laughed at my lame attempt but played along anyway.

" I mean who says that anymore anyway?" She said her smile looking genuine now. I smiled bigger than a Cheshire Cat and she laughed harder at my foolish expression. Seconds later I joined in her laughter.

〜 ♦︎ 〜

Théa

I hear laughter in my house. Clear, happy laughs. It's been so long since I heard those of that kind, because I know they always hide them from me. So this time should I act on what these laughs make me feel , Dear mother?

I wrote down putting aside my plume. I looked out the window . Rain was pouring down like it would have no end. The coziness of my Victorian styled room made me feel safe. I sank back in my red velvet armchair to rest on and rehash passed time.

Even through the closed windows the sound of the rain pouring down came in to me in muffled sounds , making me feel somehow drowsy . Rain always had that effect on me . It helped me forget about things . Things I would rather like to forget forever. I stood up and took a chair from the nearby table to place it in front of the window and sat down to contemplate how much I welcomed a long lasting rainy day.

The countless droplets of water cleansing the polluted nature left behind by human beings made me ponder on how I abandoned my own my life as well. Except that there was nothing or no one to clear away my past and all the bad memories. I thought about how I hadn't been a mother to my children. Images of their tear-stricken faces ran through my eyes. My heart clenched in my chest,but I fiercely rubbed the images away from eyes. I had no one and they had everything. They had a roof over their heads so what more could they want ?

I wished mother was alive, I wished Marc was alive. Yet the past can't be relived can it?

I tried to let go off any troubling , bothering thought. Mists of water where forming on the windows my breath was fanning. I drew on it the first thing that came to my mind. A flower.

Storm was thundering outside and rain was dropping hard on the ground. This is so dreadful I thought to myself . I hated rain. I went up from the living room to my mother's room upstairs. I pounded on door. No one answered. Another deafening thunder broke through the sky. I cried out in fright. I looked around me frenetically. No one was coming to protect me. I cowered down, curling myself into a ball.

I want this to end , I want this to end I thought rocking myself back and forth, crying softly. Just then ,I heard hurriedfootsteps's from downstairs and a moment later , soft thudding on the floor . Someone was coming towards me . It was so dark everywhere because of the electricity cut. I couldn't see anything. . What should I do? I thought panicked. I pushed back in the corner where I was trapped. Didn't dare lift up my eyes to see who it was.

And when I felt something nearing by ,something light and feathery touching me I slowly looked up . There was a beautiful angel looking back at me , smiling . It was my mother. She carefully lifted me up in her arms and brought me into her room. We approached one of her window seats. Caressing my head she hushed me to calm, but I still kept blinking my eyes from fear of the ongoing storm. So she blew on one of the windows, creating mist. This rather surprised me thus making me forget the storm.

" Est ce que tu sais ce que c'est ? " I shook my head no. " c'est de la buée " . (1)

(1): Do you know what's this ? It's mist.

" Et tu sais ce qu'on peux faire d'autre avec ?" (2) Still I didnt know. She started sliding her finger on the glass making out a familiar image.

(2): And do you know else we can do with it ?

" Une fleur!" (3) I exclaimed all excited. Mummy is so magical she can draw something out of only her hands.

(3): A flower !

" Woah.. How did you do that ?"

" You can do the same if you want." She says encouragingly . I let my finger wander freely on the glass. All of it resulting into doodles. My mother laughed at my awkwardness. She looks down tenderly at me, then leaned down to kiss my forehead, her lips lasting there.

" Je t'aime tellement.." (4) She said in a muffled voice. I closed my eyes. Relishing into the goodness of her words like a food to my soul , rain singing out for me in my joy.

(4): I'm sure everyone knows what this means.😉

I blinked my eyes open and sat up. I must have fallen asleep at some point. I wiped away wetness on my cheeks. Did I cry?

I sighed . That dream again. Why would I see myself as a young child with a woman I called my mom when the only mom I ever had , met me when I was in my teens? And for some reason her face was always dark and I couldn't make it out. Who was she and why would she awake such strong feelings of love and happiness in younger me ? I stayed sitting a few more moments lost in thoughts, until a knock came at my door.

" Enter !" I answered out to whoever it was.

" Excuse me Madam but Mrs Reynolds is asking to see you." Greta said quietly from where she stood. Ah, that woman again ... I wonder what the issue will be about this time.

" Tell them to wait for a bit." I answered almost annoyed. That woman always came at the worst moment.

" I will." the old woman responded back nodding respectfully.I turned back to my window, sighing.

I didn't even have the time to enjoy more of the rain which had stopped already. With a last thought to the past, standing up , I closed the diary and headed to the living room downstairs.

Midways down the stairs , I heard laughters again. I wanted to ignore them. Some indescribable feelings was holding me back from getting in and hurting them. Then their laughter went louder something and awakened back within me. My unrelenting grudge. This one feeling that kept me from being a good mother to them . The one I always felt whenever I thought of how people gave up on me always for the reason that I was myself . But I can't go back now can I ?

I let my anger surged through me and take a hold of whatever meakly hesitation I always seemed to have. I still couldn't figure out why I would feel like that before I did anything.

Besides I was sure she hated me. Why would she like me ? I could never bring myself to at least hug her. It hurt too much to even look at her. And I knew that since she hated me, hurting her wouldn't change anything between us. After all, as one of the renowned lawyers of Vermont , I couldn't afford to be a sentimental slave to a child. She didn't deserve me working myself up like this for her. No ! All she deserved was to end as she was supposed to since so long already. She was going to abandon me like they all did before. I wiped off unconscious tears that always seemed to fall whenever I thought about her and climbed back up to Ena's room.

〜 ♦︎ 〜

Ena

" Ena you should definitely try that I'm sure Mrs.Corynthin wouldn't stand it." Lone said laughing heartedly.

" You know I'm not a rebel, only you have the guts to do those things. Besides as an elite there's only so much they would tolerate-" I was cut off by something uncommon happening. Mother barging into my room.

" Ena ! What did I tell you about making noise in the house ?!" She yelled out frantically, trembling all over. I stood up and before I could utter anything , she slapped me across the face the violence making me stagger and hit the wall. Tears stung my eyes. But I tried to recover already thinking about a way to make her relent .

" Sorry Mother I won't do it again." I repeated on and on desperately searching for her pardon. But she hurled herself forward again and beat me everywhere on my body.

" You hate me huh ? You hate me right ? Perhaps I had never been a good mother , perhaps I've never raised you well, but do you have to spit it to my face huh? why do you have to be so insolent ?!" Saying this the whip fell hard on my back and I cried out in pain.Then , when she unplugged a wire feeder, an overwhelming fear crept upon my face. Instantly I knew I wouldn't survive this time. Right at that moment , Lone came to stand in front of her and falling to her knees she begged her with all her might to let me go this time . But she was fiercely shoved over, her head hitting the bed drawer. Yet that didn't keep my sister from standing back up against her.

" Out of my way. " she almost grunted, her eyes ablaze.

"Mummy please this is me Lone. It's all my fault , I'm so sorry." she begged again tears and snot all over her face. Using the wire as a whip she rained blows on me until I was almost fainting . Through droopy eyes I observed as she dropped the whip and somehow visibly shivering, she almost ran out the door.

My sister sat near my curled form, both of us breathing hard. Lone crawled towards me and buried herself in my arm. I winced in pain from having to lift my arms to hold her.

" S-she didn't hurt you did she ?" I asked feebly, I hiccupped as I involuntarily saw images of the furious blows pass in front of my eyes. "Of course, she never does." Lone clenched my clothe.

" I'm sorry." I heard her say , her voice already sounding distant to me.

"I'm sorry too. Maybe we shouldn't have laughed this hard. I'm sorry I forgot about the consequences. I'm so stupid to try and forget things that happen to me everyday." Lone ignored my blaming and habit to self loath every time it happens.

"Ena why don't we just go to Ann's and live there ?" She asked me a question she already knew the answer to.

"You know Mother wouldn't allow us to get away. And even if we try to complain to child services we have no chance to win our case because she has all the powerful strings to pull at her advantage."

"This is not fair. I wish she would stop being good to me. I wish I could hate her back. I hate her for hurting you but I can't really- "

"I understand."

"No you don't ! It's like she's being two different people around each of us. And when she looks at me I can't fricken see the mean monster she becomes around you. So why ?" I gave her an apologetic smile , feeling already too tired to talk anymore. She snuggled at bit more into my arms, her brows still crunched into a cute frown. I smiled faintly and closed my eyes, hopeful in getting some rest before Greta arrives to patch me up. Like always.

〜 ♦︎ 〜

Théa

I stood in front of my sink watching the water droplets fall in a trance. What I did...it was the right thing to do. I had to silence them before they went too far... before they forgot their situation. So they won't hurt harder when I remind them again that they are not happy. That they can't be happy. Not with me, in my house.Deciding to put the thoughts aside , I splashed refreshing water on my face. Remembering my guest in the living room, I hurriedly headed back down.

"I'm sure madam wouldn't be much too long now ?" I heard Greta say while coming down.

" I know but my daughters and I are in a bit of a hurry we really wouldn't want to disturb any longer-"

" Well , well , well aren't we trying to escape here? Wasn't it you that needed me at first ?" I cut in.

"Well yes, um I'm happy you're here then. " she says her face changing from mad to concilient, a false smile plastered on it. I knew all the neighborhood hated me because of my beating Ena. They've tried all possible means to make me appear in court. But they always forgot that I was children's lawyer renowned in her field. And that I could beat them at their own game. So they gave up on any ideas about their so said "Saving Ena " declaration. I didn't even see what they wanted to save her from.

I also got that they somehow came in turn to my house to survey things around. Last week it was Mr. Graham, the week before Eloise... Even the old Sundlers.Because I caught the old Sundler spying on me over the fence while I was tending to the flowers of the garden and they always had some kind of excuses for their coming.

I'm sure the woman was trying to flee from here after she heard the cries of the children so that she could telltale on us. But I'm not letting her go that easily. I smiled contentedly to myself.

〜 ♦︎ 〜

Ann Reynolds

What I terrifying woman! I thought to myself seeing her smile devillishly. I felt so sorry my girls had to hear Ena and Lone's heart wrenching screams. I almost couldn't stand it anymore. If I had to wait one more minute I would have dashed up the stairs to try and protect them from their mother. But what right did I have over her? I knew better than to attack her . There was too much at risk even for the sake of Ena and her sister. But the one that was to be pitied was Greta. The poor woman was standing helpless beside us , unable to calm down her trembling , shedding unstopping tears, and jumping from fright each time she heard a scream.

She suffered more than us. And I felt even more powerless as the only thing I could do was to bring her some kind of comfort. My children beside me got a bit emotionnal and were crying unconscious tears. The same as I did too.

I originally came because it was my turn to do the observing and I wanted to stall her and take a bit of her time before she allowed the girls to come at my house. I managed to somehow get into her good books and convince her to let the girls come spend 2 days of the week at my house regularly. This was the least I could do so they could have a certain sense of normalcy. We never knew when she would get into her violent moods, but we had hope that we could sometimes take that intention away from her mind.

"So did you come to threaten me or to just pay me a visit, because I'm sure you would never do the latter from your own will."

I had to swallow back my pride and the urge to insult her back. This was nothing compared to what Ena went through on a daily basis. I couldn't afford to rub her the wrong way or else I would loose my permission to have the girls come to my house. Though I still didn't know why ever she accepted it. I put on a compassionate smile.

" Please madam Montella, don't think of it that way, as you can see I too am a mother and I can understand how hard it can be to raise them up properly. So I would also understand that you would get angry at them and punish them for that matter." My daughters were hiding their tears and putting on sad , beaten faces to help defend my words, while knowing perfectly well that I would never even take out my nerves on them.

" Even knowing that you're probably lying and faking your agreement about my methods just so I would let you take the girls to your home, I will nonetheless consider it as a real mark of understanding from your part. And allow you to do whatever you want with them because it's not like I would care right?" Mrs.Montella said smiling in an evil way. She knew that she was right and yet she took the time to make fun of me by shamelessly revealing my intentions like a thief caught on stealing.My cheeks flushed pink from anger.

" Thanks for your kindness. I will take good care of them." I said in a tight smile.

" I'm sure you will." She answered lightly, standing up and climbing back upstairs. My twins breathed out a sigh of relief.

" phew we're out of danger. I thought that we too would also get a word from her." Haina said her hand on her heart.

" Me too mummy let's hurry and get out of here." Avasia said her little hand hastily pulling on the hem of my dress.

" Okay just give me some minutes I'll try to reach Ena." I answered back taking my phone out of my pocket. I couldn't afford to call her down the stairs. We never knew with that woman, so we had to be cautious all the time. The phone continued on ringing on the other line but no one was answering. What was happening again ?

〜 ♦︎ 〜

Ena

My phone was ringing on my bedside table. I didn't dare move. I was still too fright-stricken, my body slightly paralyzed from am already fading pain. Yet I still felt cramps. Lone was already asleep in my arms. I couldn't help but envy how lucky she was to be able to forget all of this even only to have some minutes of sleep.

Greta had come up earlier to clean my wounds. Luckily it was just a few cuts and a lone bruise. She had the saddest tear face , and I hugged her tight to try and take it away. I felt like the pain the others had for me hurt much worse than what Mother inflicted on me.

You would think that I might hate my mother just now. Well that's the case. But I could never last long enough hating her. Part of me couldn't help but still hope that a tiny bit of her could like me even knowing that she never showed a sign that she could be capable of doing this. Still no matter how much I tried ,no matter how much I thought about all the other times she's done the same and even more I couldn't hate her. I wondered often if something was seriously wrong with me. I mean worse than my inexplicable fits.

For some reason I tried my hardest to remember the soft , endearing smile she always had for Lone. I guess this need is one of the reason's I subconsciously put up with her violence. I can't help but dream that one day that smile would be directed to me too.

As the years edged on, my heart became blank of any emotions after each hit , each insult, and after sometime I became totally immune to any feelings she might incite in me. But not enough not to cry out whenever she hurt me physically. And I couldn't forget anything of the physical abuse.

The ringing of my phone cut me out of my thoughts. Who would be calling on and on like that ? Then the thought hit me! Of course ! It wouldn't be anyone else but the only person who owned my number anyway. I hurried to pick it up. But my back cracked at the sudden effort.

I felt like an elderly woman already. I swear Mother managed to beat me old.

"Allo ? " I answered out in French from habit, showcasing the love I had for the language I learned in school.

"Ah Ena finally!! I thought something else happened like what you know..."Ann said worry in her voice. I smiled .I was happy to hear of someone worrying about me. It made me feel important. Though it was never no one else outside of Greta or her. Ann was like my second mother but she liked it better when I said big sister because she thought I would make her sound old. She had this cute dramatic edge to her that I always found so affectionate.

" No no I'm fine Ann, no need to worry." I said softly , my heart calmly relishing in the warmth of someone's love and concern for me. It was so good to feel this way.

"You know I'll still worry even if you say that."

"Well that'll just grow you older with worry creases." I said joking lightly to lift her mood.

"Ena you're so mean , see what worrying about you is doing to me at such a young age!"

"Ann , you're like 35 ." I chuckled.

"Well that's still young I'll have you know! We wouldn't want Mr.Reynolds to reject me so early would we?"

"Ew , don't talk to me about your married life ! I don't want to hear it!" She laughed quietly, happy that she embarrassed me. I swear that was , like , the goal of her life. We stayed a bit in confortable silence.

"So are you coming over now. I mean do you feel okay enough to walk? Oh jeez, sorry I really I'm not smooth huh ?" She tried in a failed attempt not to bring it up.

"Yeah don't worry , I'm coming right away." Already wanting to put that behind me, I slowly got up to my feet, careful not to wake Lone up. I wanted her to get some more rest after everything.

" Thank you. For being there as always." I felt obliged to her every single time and sometimes even guilty for dragging her into this. But she'd always say she came into our life on her own.

"Don't thank me yet dear , I still haven't done anything useful to get you out of this nightmare. But anyway the girls are here with me . Do you want us to wait for you or should we meet home?" Home. How good did that sound in my ear.

"Yes it would be cool if you guys waited for us , you do have a few stuff to carry for me. Slave." She gasped in surprise.

" I'll have you eat back your words you nasty girl!" I laughed at her reaction knowing full well they were empty threats. Which was so reassuring.

" Okay, then I'll see you in a few." I ended the call and watched as Lone stretched her lazy bum in her sleep. I hastily gathered a few clothes in my backpack and my plastic wrapped gardening gloves from the vanity drawer. I intended to leave them there permanently among other stuffs so I wouldn't need to pack as often. Even though we weren't Friday yet, the day of my deliverance from this house, I didn't want to spend any further minutes here.

〜 ♦︎ 〜

After I got done packing I hurried down the stairs , slowing down my pace only when I came near to Mother's room which I passed almost tiptoeing, then I ran down again the rest of the distance all the way to the corridor. I saw her standing there all smiles and I couldn't resist it. Dropping down my stuff, I jumped at her neck and almost had her topple over.

" Stop ,stop I'm choking." The poor woman said just as happy and red from being strangled, smiling through stuffed sounds.

I pulled back and looked at her face. The face of my everyday savior. Her cobalt blue eyes were shining bright with mirth and beautiful red curls occasionally fell into them. I stared fondly at the one and only person who takes me out of my nightmare even momentarily . I could never pay her back enough for what she's done for me until now, what she's been to me. I even try pretty frequently to sneak in her house whenever it gets unbearable here. And I loved her so much for being what she is to me. A second mother. Or as she wants me to say, a big sister.

" Thank you again " I said feeling hot tears spilling down my cheeks.

" For what ? Dear you've said this so many times already , are you sure you're okay ?" She ask puzzled, then looking suddenly worried that something might really be going wrong again with me. For everything. I just shook my head dismissing the matter. I greeted little Haina and her twin sister Avasia with big pecks on the cheeks. They asked me where Lone was. When I told them she was sleeping soundly in my room, they all gaped at me in astonishment.

"What?" I ask puzzled. Why are they reacting like that? It's not like I threw her into the flames of hell is it?

" Are you crazy ? Do you want to risk her dying ? Why are you leaving her alone there ? We'll go wake her up." They said in unison like the real twins they were , resolutely without even waiting for my answer.

I grabbed both of their hand in each of mine before they fled off and guided to the living room.

" hep! hep! hep! where do you think you're going? Please sit down and listen to me." I said pulling them towards the couch and forcing them to sit. These girls are much of headstrongs when they want.

" I'm not leaving Lone on her own." I paused searching for the words. " But she's safer there than me and she will know we're to find me when she wakes up." I said trying to reassure them. It was true that we always went to the Reynolds together my sister and I, still they didn't know that Mother always treated Lone better than me.

" Now , " I started without waiting for any response " let's go home." I said turning to Mrs Reynolds. She smiled back fondly at me.

The walk to the house of Mrs Reynolds wasn't very long, only ten minutes at foot.

When I came to stand in front of it , I could well recognize the big white front facade with bushes of flowers planted at the front , a cute little terrace and red tiled roof. The house all in all looked like it came straight out of a cartoon or the old houses of the past centuries. I entered , lightly hopping on the little steps that led to the waiting room and plopped down comfortably on the sofa.

" Oh go on. Make yourself at home but don't forget your duties here." Ann Reynolds says her hands on her hips noticing my lazy disposition.

"Psht don't worry about this I'll go see about the flowers as soon as I am done getting comfortable." I said popping my head from behind the sofa.

" And when will that be young lady ? Don't even try to fool me I know the habit of you youngsters nowadays. You're making the whole procrastination thing a new art." She countered shaking her head ever so seriously. Sometimes I really doubted wether she really wanted me to think of her as a big sister. Because more than often she loved to act like your average mom. Besides she knew that she shouldn't worry about me procrastinating. It's just unlike me.

"Ann, you know I'm not the one you should complain to about your concerns for the younger generation. Go talk to a shrink or something." I teased her good naturally. She answered me with a comical frown. Then she lunged forward across the sofa, to tickle and pinch me , getting me to squeal in glee. And she didn't stop until I cried tears of laughter.

" Now , this will teach you to mock me and my very important concerns." She said in triumph over my curled form sore from stomach cramps and the still yet to fade pain from my earlier beating. I sat up with grunts and turned to her with half a frown and a smile on my face. I guessed I really couldn't resent her for forgetting I was in pain a few hours ago.

" This shouldn't be legal. It's even one of the worst means of torture!" I complained dejected. Ann just pulled her tongue out to me childishly and leaned down to kiss my forehead. I furiously robbed the spot , mildly annoyed and still bitter that I lost the wrestling fight.

Haina and Avasia who had gone to their respective rooms when we came, ran downstairs just then.

" So! so ! What are we doing today ?" asked 6 years old Haina excitedly from where she sat near me.

" What about we plant a human eating rose ! " Avasia suggested joining her hands in enthusiasm.

"Ava , baby , I'm sorry to break it to you but these types of plants do not exist."

" What makes you think that ? I'm sure daddy already invented it."

" Ava your dad doesn't invent plants but he does genetical engineering. Which means he can modify their molecular structures to try and make possible remedies for human diseases." The girls just blinked back at me clueless. I sighed.

"Um he transforms plant with machines so he can make them cooler." Then their eyes lit up with recognition.

" Oh ! Is it like when he made glow in the dark plants ?" Haina asked with a giddy grin.

" Yes exactly , smart girl." And I couldn't help but ruffle her hair in pride. For six years old they were definitely smarter than their age. And I could say it's all thanks to their father who always managed to involve them into his passion and surprisingly pick up kindergarteners' interest in adult stuffs.

I stroked Haina hair absentmindedly as the thought of my late father struck me. I slightly shook my head to rid myself of the saddening memories. Instead I chose to focus on admiring Haina's beautiful chunk of red hair.

Her resemblance to her twin sister was uncanny, but when you looked closer you could always spot the tiniest bit of differences. They had the same green eyes of their father and the same hair color as their mother but Avasia had a darker shade of red hair, a soft strawberry color , than Haina whose hair is a light contrast between blond and copper. Then their eyes held different shades of color as Ava had light grass green eyes whereas Haina had olive green ones.

" Ena? You look like you are far away." I blinked a little Haina's small face coming into focus before me.

"Thanks God you're back to us. I thought you were going to scrape a road on my head from your stroking." Haina said wittily. I pinched her cheeks for good measure.

" Ouch it hu-ts I shoowyy I showwy." I reluctantly released her cheeks. They were kind of soft and baby smooth. Avasia lighted slapped my arm. I looked at her to see an annoyed pout on her face.

" Don't hurt my sister." She was the younger twin of the two and was timid and calm most of the time , but thankfully she can get riled up like any normal child when pushed. At least she wasn't as wild and witty as her sister.

" Okay but tell your sister not to be so mean all the time."

" Sister, Ena tells you not to be so mean. You need to be a princess like me. You see, if you stay like that you won't have as much fanboys as me."

" Idiot, we both have the same fanboys."

" I'm sorry fan what now?"

" We have maaany many many boys that like us at kindergarten. We are all friends. But Mawa calls them fanboys."

What ? Since when do these children have more skill with the male species than me ? No. No way I'm sure I misheard. But I might have to question Mawa on that.

" Ena you should see them around us when we go at kindergarten , they bring us sweets and chocolate. It super fun. Also some of them are super cute." Where are gone the days when girls were repulsed by boys because they had cooties ?

" Are the girls talking about boys again ? What did I tell you about relationships ? You're going too soft on them ! You need to be more demanding !" In came Mawa in all her clueless and careless glory, uttering irrelevant embarrassing stuffs again. I massaged my temples in annoyance already wary about what was going to come.

Despite being the housemaid , Mawa held more position of authority then any other in this house. That definitely wasn't so with our consent.

" Mawa what did you tell these children again?"

" What ? Don't look at me like that. I just told them about adult matters they would have to know about eventually. Why wait later than sooner ?" I narrowed my eyes at her.

" What did you tell them ?"

" Well... nothing really just that if they want to get more sweets than their usual allowances they should just go and seduce boys. And besides who are you anyway to lecture me about my child raising methods ? I could be your mom too you know."

I sighed heavily and didn't even bother answering her, it's no use. And this is probably the calmest and most normal version of herself that she can get. Instead I choose to talk sense into people I knew would listen.

"Girls , listen here -" they put their hands to their ears and leaned closer to my mouth " I didn't tell you to come closer for me to eat your ears, smartpies. Anyways do you remember what I told you the last time we had our very serious grown up talk ?" They nodded their heads looking very solemn.

" You said ' Never do anything mommy or Mawa says without asking. Just never obey them at all.' "

"Hey am I your mom or is she your mom ?" Mawa exclaimed nearby in indignation.

"So girls do you think you did what I told you ?"

" Hey ! don't ignore me !"

" But when she said sweets all we saw was candies sparkling in front of our eyes !" Haina defended.

" Now you really managed to anger me ! I am going to hurt you!" I heard an insignificant someone say from behind me. I really shouldn't do that.

"Well now, guys you're both in trouble if your mom doesn't know about this because I'm going to tell her. You guys can't have boy friends yet. It's just not normal."

"And I know three people who are going to be in more trouble if they are still here in 3 minutes !" I turned around to see Mawa brandishing a giant celery branch. She might look comical with this but she can turn it into a very dangerous weapon. And I knew better than to stay any longer.

When she rounded the sofa to jump on us we were all three already on our feet and making a run for it to the garden. As soon as we reached a far corner and looked back she was nowhere in sight. I guess she just wanted to chase us out of the house. After all I still got my duty to attend. Which basically earned her some benefits. 💰 wise

I still couldn't deny the feeling that I am being used by the folks in this family and that the love is not disinterested. Well that's all fine by me.

" Phew we escaped her. I never ran so fast in the long years I lived." Avasia complained her hand on her back. I gave a half smile. They are such comedians.

" Now come and help us with the new rose bushes. We have some new clients coming this afternoon." They both said pulling me each by an arm. We came to stand in front of the most magnificient roses I have ever seen. Not that I'm exaggerating but they were a mix of deep red and pink , colors beautifully strewn as if someone painted on them. They were a true work of art.

" Wow ! How did you make that grow ? " I asked more than surprised, even impressed by their work. It was just " Wow".

" Daddy helped us !" They both said seemingly proud of the outcome.

" Well good job girls. I doubt my chrysanthemums can rivalise with these. You might just win more customers than me." I felt a little disappointed. The twins and I shared the passion of gardening and we liked to compete about how well we could grow certain species of plants in the least favorable conditions. Most of them time we were rose breeders but we would also try to grow Aloe veras on dry , almost waterless soil.

" I guess we should get now to gardening before Mawa or Ann gets mad at us again for slacking around." I said remembering how infuriated Mawa can be when we don't get work done. It actually wasn't real work since we did it out of pleasure but her and Ann where greatly proud of our flowers and tree garden that we started on our own. And since people of the neighborhood got some interest in them overtime, Mawa decided to turn it into a real business and have people pay for visiting or just buy the hybrid seeds to decorate their homes.

While I was planting new seeds and making places for the old ones to breath, I looked over at Haina who was digging out weeds and she pulled so hard on one of them that she fell down on her butt. I stifled a laugh. Avasia was playing with a white furred little thing. Peering closer it looked a lot like ... Malie. I called her over but she didn't react. I got up and went towards her and Avasia noticing me showed me off the rabbit.

" Look ! look Ena! That rabbit is so cute. I found it sniffing on the hibiscus that grew near the roses bushes. I thought she could get hurt if she got too close to the rose thorns. So I brought it with me to play! I did well didn't I ?" She exclaimed as she looked at me , her eyes seeking my appraisal. I smiled at her cuteness. I guess even though they were smart and had weird sudden adult attitude pics , childishness still lied deep within them.

"Of course chérie , by the way I see you have found Malie. " I answered back taking the little rabbit in my arms.

" The guy under the cherry tree was right. You're really good with finding girls." I mused memories of the handsome boy coming back to me. I felt some kind of tingly heat rise up from my tummy at the thought of him. I still wondered why I felt like this about a mere human being. What a strange feeling. I couldn't help but ponder on how this feeling was still a thousand times better than what my fits did to me.

I'm still pleasantly surprised at the fact that I didn't feel any pain today. This kind of day does happen but they had become so scarce about a year ago, that I forgot how it felt like to live painlessly.

The children beside me looked as though they couldn't believe what they just heard.

" What?" I asked not understanding. My mind was still clouded with images of blue green eyes.

" Was that just the word 'guy' we heard you say ?" They asked together. Their eyes scrutinizing me with curiosity like a new plant specimen they were discovering.

"Um yes?" I answered still clueless.

" How did that happen and we didn't know?!!" They asked serious shock in their voices.

" Well this depends on what you consider as 'that'. " I said matter of factly.

" Huh? We consi- what?" How is it that I keep being deluded by their smart remarks into thinking that they understand insinuations. I just smiled thoughtfully and said:

" We just had simple discussions and he helped me find my way back when I got lost. That's all." And a simple flutter kiss ? said my provoking subconscious voice in my head. I felt myself grow hotter. I was so thankful that my blush was invisible because of dark skin tone. But the sweats pearls on my forehead were definitely an uncomfortable feeling.

"So tell us again what's his name ?" Haina asked her interest shifting quickly. She settled herself down on the grass her face lying in her hands while her sister did the same. They liked to imitate each other from time to time.

" Well his name's .." I fumbled through my mind to search for a possible name. Fidgeting at my place, my mind finally came blank without any answer. I totally forgot his name as it always was for me when I meet people I'm not meant to stay in touch with for long. I learned from the internet that I had a selective mind and that I only chose to remember what was relevant to me. But I kind of have a feeling I don't have much control over that problem. Sometimes, my brain just seems to have a will of its own.

" What ? Tell us !" They girls both screamed at me impatiently.

" Sorry girls, I don't remember his name." I answered them, a little at loss with things. I was kind of used to my predicament so I didn't find it to be problematic.

" But Ena mommy told us that it was rude not to remember people's name." Avasia said sounding truly concerned for me.

" It is isn't it?" I said thoughtfully , my mind wandering into the mazes of an upcoming calamity. My eyes widened at the thought. I suddenly turned towards the girls.

"You two ! Neither Mawa nor Ann should hear about my interaction with a person of the male species do you understand ? Or else I'll get a police interrogation like they do in movies only this time they would flash my eyes with UV light instead!" I said in utter panic, this had never happened before but I never doubt the craziness degree of these two women.

" Do you want me to go blind ?" I said trying to be more convincing. They looked at me blandly then actually had the nerve to both lift their heads upward as if thinking.

" Is it bad to go blind ? I mean you don't see it when pretty guys wave at you or talk to you. Isn't it the same ?" Haina asked innocently, her doe like eyes staring up at me.

What do they mean I am blind already ? Then I shrugged not wanting to dig any further.

" Now let's get back to work and be done with it." I said brushing the matter off and hoping that the girls understand the importance of the situation. I cannot imagine my life if Ann and/or Mawa ever get a hearing on this. I stood up taking Malie back in my arms.

Well, since I still have to give him back Malie , this meant I would have to talk to him again. For some reasons I didn't dread seeing him, though I was a little worried about my unpredictable reactions around boys. I might get embarrassed again. Yet I couldn't deny being a tiny bit excited about the possibility of having a friend.

Then I remembered what happened the last time I entertained such thoughts. Who I am kidding why would he want to be my friend ? I looked down at the little rabbit comfortably snuggled in my arms as I somehow searched the answers through her. I caressed her slowly, her soft fluffy fur tickling my hand.

" You know him best so must know if he thinks of me as a friend already right?" I asked the innocent thing a question whose weight she couldn't bear to answer. I lifted her up towards the evening sky which was already turning dark.

It would soon be time go back... Home ?

〜 ♦︎ 〜

Ena

When I got back, Lone wasn't in my room anymore. Looking backwards , I saw the lights in her room was on. Thanks God nothing apparently happened. Not that it would happen to her anyway. I decided to go inside. She was sound asleep. Greta must have brought her here then. I went and kissed her forehead.

As I turned to leave quietly, I heard silent pleas.

"Please don't go..." Again. Those nightmares. They had receded with the years , so they didn't happen quiet as often as before but they were still there. Nightmares of our father on his deathbed. I sighed and leaned against the door for support. Why ? Just... Why?

Silent tears started flowing down my cheeks. I wished so much I could change everything. I wished I could know why. Please . Please if there is anything or anyone out there please help me and my sister. Help us ease the ever so burning pains of our heart. Help us get over it and just find... peace? Please.I couldn't stop my sobs. This battle is hard, hard and so unfair . We didn't have any emotional support aside from people that weren't even  our relatives. I didn't want to complain but it wasn't the same as having family by your side every day and every-time you felt down, having them comforting you, wasn't that what could be the best remedy ?

Knowing that it was safe to cry in front of them because they wouldn't judge you. Or not having to think about them worrying too much , because wasn't it natural that you should be weak only in front of these people you could trust ? That sounded like such a good thing to feel.

I couldn't break down in front of my sister because she counted on me , she counted on my so-said strength as if it were an anchor to her hopes and reassurance to her insecurities .

And I knew this because of all these times she would look at me relief and content insouciance in her eyes each time an acquaintance died or our father relapsed in his sickness.

Big sister Ena would always know how to handle this. There's no need to cry because Ena didn't . The bad things of this world wouldn't touch me because Ena would protect me. Dad won't die because Ena feels so confident about it.

Yet Ena was crying every night in a corner , her biggest fear of being abandoned by her father-bear overwhelmingly suffocating her. Her infinite worries about how she would cope with the memories and how she wanted so hard to remember his voice , his antics , his habits at all times yet while trying to avoid feeling a dull ache in her heart. Ena was all alone , all these times.

I dried up my tears with the sleeve of my clothe. I wished so much I had a clue why he left us so early. It was from a heart attack yes, but I only learned afterward that there were telltale signs to warn you a month before it happened. Maybe he hid them and never told us about it until it was a too late ? We will never know really . I tried calming my breath staring off ahead for a second. It didn't matter anymore right ? I thought sighing.I mean , after all these many times I prayed and prayed why would things work out now ? Exhaling painfully , I headed back to my room.

After turning the lights on, I searched around for those calming pills I use everynight to try to get at least a descent sleep even though it seemed like everytime the effect just slipped out of my system before it did anything.

I finally found them , and hoped to God that I wasn't drugging myself to death. True I was constantly on the edge of death but that didn't mean I was suicidal.

〜 ♦︎ 〜

Young Ena

I glanced around outside the door at mum tending to our backyard garden. I wanted to join her too in helping but first I had a task grandma wanted me to do. I ran back inside , my four years old feet almost making me trip , and searched for that book- something- I couldn't read or remember the name. Then I found it. I remembered the color at least. It was on the table where I was sure she left it and forgot .The book had that pretty leather binding around it that made it look like a book of secrets. Perhaps it was grandma's diary ? I tried opening it but it wouldn't budge.

" What are you doing Ena?" asked a voice behind me. It was mummy. She looked so angry already.

" I - I .. Grandma wanted-". I started stuttering, so afraid I made a big mess.

" It's okay. Give it back." She said then noticing how sorry I was, her eyes softened and she gave me kind a smile. I smiled back , but then it hurt.

No... No! Not again not now. The thing started again. I felt myself being pulled under. Harder this time . No matter how much I tried, I couldn't stand against it. This time the pain felt even worse than all the other times. This time I was so sure I was near death. I could finally be released from this insufferable nightmare . I could be freed once and for all. Then my mother would be rid of me , and my sister...

"My sister.. Yeah I have a sister .. Lone... my Lone.. for her... I have to try .. I can't ... " I gasped for air , my back arching in pain. " .. I can't leave her no , not now , not ... Ev-" my thoughts were jumbling in my mind. The hot pain waves were making my body convulse , consciousness slowly leaving my body and soon enough I felt myself drifting back to sleep but this time painlessly.

Authors note :

Do you guys think it's acceptable that I wrote a certain part of this story while falling asleep ? (Well I'm not going to change those parts ) 🤷🏾‍♀️

And don't be fooled by all the big words. I've just been reading too much literature books lately.

Oh lastly above is the image of the beautiful rose the girls sprouted themselves ! How do you find it ? I'm kind of a rose gardening enthusiast 😊. Actually just so I can eat rose jam . 😋

Le jasmin est une fleur que danse la rosée.

~ Arielna ♦︎ ~