Chapter 4

Kash View

The man before me trying to persuade me to dinner, was also claiming to be my mate. There was never a time I ever wanted any of this. Now the moon goddess throws another fast one my way as if to laugh at my miseries. Just their presence in my space had me growl under my breath.  Looking back at the two men before me just waiting for someone to say something. His beta who happened to stay in the room, just unseen until now, was grinning ear to ear and that made me a little more than just uncomfortable. "Can he stop grinning? It creeps me out." I pointed right at the culprit as I spoke.

The Alpha guy turned and looked at his Beta and smacked his head. "Stop. You can not earn his trust grinning like a dumb wolf you know." He then turned back to me. "Just ignore him. I promise you will get answers to your questions, since I now have a few of my own." His smile seemed like he spoke the truth, but I was used to broken promises.

Something else about the pair, was with how his Beta and the Alpha treated each other and I know the confusion showed on my face. When I thought back to my father and his Beta, I realized that maybe Beta's could be good friends to the Alpha. My father always had a commanding presence around his Beta. Then again, I never saw him for more than a few minutes like many of the wolves that were not my father or Jace.

Of course, I still had my own issues with what he said, cause trust was not easily earned. "Yeah? You are barking up the wrong tree if you think it would earn you brownie points. I have my own reasons for my behavior and a couple of strange pups from another pack do not need to know about them. You get that?" I did my best to keep my temper in check as I spoke, but I also wanted them to know I would not bow down to them because of their rank.

They were quiet for a while and I could not tell from his expression what he was thinking, but it was like his wolf was grinning. Though his face was stoic, something in his eyes spoke more. Finally, he spoke up. "There really are just a few questions of my own, and has nothing to do with earning a gold star. It starts with the most basic. Why you were kept from the pack since it should be the safest place for you? Why did he not let you train? Yes, I did overhear that part from you, but it now has me wondering as well. You are the second born and should be training with the warriors. Learning your place as their leader. Even with your short stature I think you would have done well. Especially with how you are handling yourself now."

I interrupted him a little pissed at the short comment. This man thinks he is my mate, and while speaking he already strikes a low blow at my height. "Fuck off about my height yeah. Once more, you will not win me any favors by doing this." Almost at a whisper I gave him a little information to answer one of his questions. "And, I couldn't train. My condition, really does not allow it."

Quickly I saw worry on his face replacing his impassive one, which had me look back at him with even more confusion. "Condition? Are you sick?" His reply was almost in panic.

His poker face was now broken and it almost had me laugh; instead, I just shook my head not exactly wanting to tell him the real reason. Really, I just wanted the pair to leave me alone to think. "If you let me change, there is a chance I could join the dinner. BUT!!! I am only doing this because I might want to know the answers. Not because of you ordering me to the table." They both nodded to me and went back to my door.

There was something different about that guy and his Beta. They did not try pushing the subject or even tried to clarify my answers, not that I gave him much. Then again, he was trying to win me over from getting involved between my father and I. Standing in my spot I watched as the pair exited my room, giving a glare when he looked back at me before closing the door. Then I let out the breath I was holding.

He really was good looking. Well for a guy anyways; I think? I huffed out another breath before scratching the back of my head in frustration. It was not like I even knew what I liked. I was never around wolves my age. The man was tall; I bet he was taller than my own brother. Even though he wore relaxed clothing I could see he was blessed with the muscles all wolves, but me, gain. It did not take long before I sighed. Why do I think that dinner will not go as he said it would? Walking over I locked the door, glad to have my own space back.

I grabbed a clean pair of jeans and a black tee from my closet and tossed them on. Knowing my father would prefer more formal or professional wear, made me decide he was not going to get it. Looking in the mirror with my chosen outfit, I suddenly felt shy. Even if I was human, I would look different. I am built fragile looking. Not exactly soft, but more feminine than masculine. I thought back to the man claiming to be my mate. He was definitely closer to 7 foot in height with a good strong build. His hair was black like mine but he had piercing blue eyes. The difference between the two of us would be a huge gap. There was no way he really would want me around when he figures out what I am anyways. "This is crap." Maybe he will just try to control me like my father does now. Try and gain my trust saying he will help me get answers, then bam! Trapped in his big, muscled arms, I become his prisoner. My decision was that I was not going to walk into it.

In a flash I changed directions from my locked door to my window. I told them before, I was not going to dinner and I think I will stand by that choice. As tempting as it is to see my father squirm while being questioned by the so-called King, I had standards too damn it!

There was no real plan in my escape. Besides this afternoon and my every other night trip, I never went anywhere but the creek. My body easily remembered the route from my window to the ground, allowing me to not fully focus on where my feet would go while I thought about my direction of travel. Of course, I could always go to the creek. Maybe hanging out in the woods would do me good. Then I remembered. The stupid Alpha has cabins out there and could smell me already from earlier. He would hunt me and I definitely did not want him around right now. If I went anywhere near there and he would know for sure. My unfocused brain did not think he could just track me from here either, but when you start having mild panic attacks, logical thinking is not easy.

My feet had already hit the ground and I ran through the now empty training fields. The pack would all be finishing their dinners giving me some space and the chance to escape. Only the patrol would be out at this time, and as long as I stayed away from the edge of the pack lands, they will be easily avoidable. The forest edge coming near, I made the quick choice to let my wolf choose our direction of travel. I rarely let him take over and this would be a good change of pace. At least I hoped so.

It is hard to explain to humans the freedom you feel as your four paws charge through the brush. The feeling of power and control. Being able to track at a good pace and not make a sound. The wind whistling past your ears at a whisper while you can still hear your surroundings. Like the angry squirrel yelling at me from a tree he just ran up, or the small herd of deer I spooked when I leapt over a small ravine. How you can taste all the different scents in the wind, as they pass your nose. The moisture of a creek wetting your tongue that you run by or the taste of fresh pine sharp in contrast to the soothing moss-covered ground.

My wolf was more than happy to take over. He could feel my unease with the whole situation. Unlike a lot of wolves, my inner wolf and I usually communicated quietly. He rarely spoke up or yelled at me. He ran with the wind while I let my thoughts out over the day. Sharing my feelings of anger, betrayal and confusion. I knew my wolf hoped to find his mate. This was an understanding we had. We would not actively search for them, but if they happened to find us, we would decide together. Now the time might have come, and I do not even know what to think anymore. I had hoped to gain a little more freedom with my father after my birthday. Maybe work my way into some training classes, do more work for the pack. Actually, start feeling like a pack member. Now, this jerk from no where, thinks he has the right to be my mate. Why must my whole life feel like a badly written novel?

Soon there were no more thoughts to vent out, just the sound of paws to grass filling my head. Focusing more and becoming aware, I looked around. My wolf found another beautiful meadow. It was perfect for resting. I changed back and got dressed. Truth be told, I hated to be naked around other wolves, so when I went for a run, my wolf took my clothing with him. Never was there a time I would allow wolves to change before me. Not even close family. Of course, the chance of other wolves around this area would be slim, but slim meant still a small chance since I was on pack lands. Any chance of a meeting while unclothed, was one I was not willing to take.

Finding a spot near the middle of the meadow with thick, deep grass, I laid down. It was a perfect spot to just lay and sort out my thoughts. Facts of the day. The Royals came early and the Alpha, aka King, claims I am his mate. I would not feel the mate connection until my birthday, in just under two days. The Royal ass seemed very happy about it finding me, and his Beta was just as happy.  

There was nothing that prepped me for this event happening. I knew nothing of the Royals. I never cared really. There was never a meeting I was physically involved in that allowed me to see these people before. I was the shadow behind the closed doors. Helping to type up the minutes for the meeting, printing papers. This was all I could do with the restrictions around me. Names on papers were all I had, with maybe the odd scent I would catch, when I was helping with the mail or cleaning the meeting hall after meetings. Any other events; away from pack lands especially; I was left at home with guards. Not their favorite time either. I chuckled thinking back to the ball last year. It was held at the Royal Crystal Lake pack. My father was not even gone for 24 hours and I had escaped my guards twice.

Currently, my biggest issue with all that is happening at this time, is that I have no choice once more. If I was to accept this whole situation, what would it mean for me? Alphas are known to be possessive with their mates. Would that mean more restrictions than what my father has laid out for me my whole life? Then there is the huge fact of what I am. What will happen during my heats? There was a reason I had a cell and that was because I was a virgin and vowed to stay that way. The fear of what would happen if I found a mate and possibly had pups. What male would not be frightened of that? Groaning, I sat up placing my head onto my knees. This was just too much all at once.

To take any control I had to make my own choices sometimes. That time could be now. Sighing I started to stand up. My decision was to avoid being around him until the ball. As the Alpha's son I had to be at the ball to greet guests this year as the bare minimum. Well, at least this year that was what my father said. Thinking about it had me realize it was just to introduce me and expose me to possible mates. Since I was never allowed at balls before now, that was all that made sense. That being said, I still was not sure about the whole mate thing and I had no one to talk to about it. What to expect, how I would know..? My father never talks to me about anything and my brother has not found his mate yet.  It all boiled down to feeling like a lost pup, and all I wanted was to feel some sort of control over my life. "Moon Goddess. Please tell me it is not a joke. My life must have more meaning to it than to simply submit to everyone around me like a so-called good omega. Please let me have some control. I beg of you!"

My birthday was going to be a disaster.