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Here's a tip on loving someone at arm's length:

1. Fool yourself

2. Fool Her

3. Fool everyone else

If I can be close to you, then this should be the rules I live by.

Fool yourself first. It will be hard but doable. How can your lie be believable and fool everyone if you can't convince even yourself that it's the truth.

Fool her. Unless you have the courage to go all in, win all or lose all, bet everything that you have and accept the possibility of flipping her life over then you have to make sure she's not guarded against you.

Let's be real here. For sure it's flattering for the girls to know someone is admiring you, it's a complement after all, but regardless whether you'll reciprocate or not, you'll still be guarded against whoever confessed then you won't treat them the same way again.

Their every action will be under the microscope, even the past memories you have with whoever confessed to you will be re-evaluated and you'll get conscious of that person then distance yourself.

It should be enough to be just a part of her life. If you're greedy and want her all for yourself then that's another story for the future.

Fool Everyone. Of course this should be basic SOP (standard operating procedure). She may not notice it but the walls have eyes and ears.

You should be wary of 'female intuition', it's really a magical skill that doesn't make sense to the point you can't wrap your head around it. You can't underestimate it's fatality and destructiveness. No joke.

It won't end with just 'everyone', don't forget and beware of enemy number one.

Ever heard of these words -

'That one friend you should be wary of' or

'That man/woman you're told to not be wary of'

There's a reason why this words are popular because that's me hahaha kidding aside it's the truth.That guy/girl will always be the source of the couple's problem or the one that will take the other partner away.

If enemy number one notices then he'll do everything in his power to get rid of me. It's no fun to live your life with a laser target on your forehead.

You maybe thinking, 'if you love her then let her go'....

Did you think I didn't do that before?

If I was successful in doing that then we wouldn't be having this conversation (story) at all. I tried everything. EVERYTHING. But I can't get over her.

I wanted to be a hopeless romantic wallflower and be content to love her from afar but not to the point of being stalkerish. That's a no go for me and I wanted to be at the forefront of giving her happiness but as fate would have it, enemy number one almost had me.

So to avoid suspicion, I tried this 'girlfriend' thing. Don't think worst of me yet. I didn't initiate it nor planned it. One of my 'buddies' was the one that suggested it. And yes it's that 'kind' of buddies. There's no strings attached to what we all had and agreed to not fall for one another.

Of course I wouldn't exempt my buddies to rule number three. They shouldn't know about my feelings for her and I need to fool them too.

It's better to make precautions that will avoid hurting her. I don't want to relive in reality an episode of School Days. If one of them knew then there could be a possibility of confronting her or even hurting her. After all I already perfected the 'perfect friend' role.

Going back, I tried it and I'm currently still in it. I was honest from the very start about having no feelings and told her everything she can expect and not to expect from me all except for my feelings for 'her'.

I did reject it always at first since she's in camp of 'love can grow out of having the relationship first' a.k.a. the old fashion marriage first love later. But in the end I relented, I don't want to lose 'her'. I have to make sure his at peace of my presence in 'her' life while she's happy to finally have me and have the label she always wanted.

You maybe wondering 'You are obsessed with her can't you just take her already!'

There's a thin line between love and obsession. Yes I am obsessed with her but my love for her is stronger. If you can cutoff her wings and put her in a cage then that isn't love that's obsession. Any 'love' earned through unscrupulous and underhanded means is also not love.

I wanted her to be free and happy because that's what made me fall in love madly at her. I wanted to fly with her and even become the wind that brings her to all wonderful highs and lows.

What I have now is not appropriate but it's enough for me. As soon as he leaves a crack, that will be my time.

Their relationship would be like mirror with a crack. Once it shatters it wouldn't be the same even if you piece it back together.

For now I'll be satisfied with chipping away bits and pieces. I won't rush it. Slow and steady. Be the nice guy that finish last. If you set off a bomb in the mine then everything will crumble and collapse but if you chip it slowly from the inside you'll get what you want.

"Order for Adam! Here you go Sir"

"Thanks"

[Where are you?]

[I'm already at Moonbucks seating by the window]

[I think I see you!]

[Don't run! If you trip over I won't give you piggyback snorlax]

[F*ck you .!.]

If I'm right she should be wearing blue today. God I hope I matched her outfit.

Bull's-eye! I'm a genius hehe

"Adam! Thank you for waiting!"

"What took you so long?"

"Huh? You're the one who's early! And being beautiful takes time to prepare"

("Honey you're always beautiful to me")

"What did you say? I didn't hear it you're whispering"

"Nothing, here's your frappe!"

"Wow! You're the best Adam! Good thing we have the same favorite"

Nope, it's not my favorite. I don't have any particular preferences but it's her favorite. I kept buying it to the point she thinks we have the same favorite.

"Hey pay up!"

"Oh I'm so lucky that you're treating me first thing in the morning. I must have saved a country on my past life to deserve you!"