Mother

"Get ready, get ready", my mother screams across the rooms. In my messy room trying to find my towel amongst the disaster.

I hear my Dad running the car to warm it's engine. It's going to be a long trip.

"Do you have all the things you need for the lake dear"

She loves making the most everytime we go somewhere.

But as a child I'd get so excited to come out of the house that I forget these things of importance. But wouldn't you too be excited to go to the lake for the very first time. When you spend your routine of school, home and church in that order. Wouldn't you want some change.

I'd probably have skipped breakfast, I felt it would delay us for the long trip. But my mother's eyes of sharp told me otherwise. So like the good boy she grew me up to be I ate my cereal, but with my feet swinging back and forth in excite.

I took no time to lick my plate clean to prove to her I was truly done. I ran to car to book my seat in front. I guess my mother was in a good enough mood to let that be as she sat in the back. My dad put the car into first and we trailed along.

But this flashback like many, feels like there's plot holes in it. Suddenly everything goes black as I feel water chocking me to death.

I wake up in a cold sweat, devastated by something but I don't know what. I turn off the TV,  taking myself to bed. Hoping that in my bedroom I may find true rest or better yet stop having these dreams.

"My dear child, I feel you don't understand.

That what happened to you and he was not what I planned.

Sigh,  it broke my heart at such a tragedy,

And I prayed to the Lord that it never had to be.

I blame myself for not being overly protective,

For letting you both down. I lost something dear, so hard to accept this".

                                                 _Mother.