Father

Counting the passing trees one by one in the moving car, my father drives quite slow. And with this speed he uses it only fuels the excite within me.

I find myself staring out the open window with my chin resting on the door, as I glance of how the outside world looks so spectacular and different.

My father warns me not to stick out my head too far and try to sit still in my seat. But he knew an excited child was the hardest thing to keep still in one spot. For I kept moving up and down my seat, out of discomfort like having ants in my pants.

And for the longest time during this car ride I could not find myself to keep still. But something at the back of the car caught my attention. My dearest mother seemed to be having a conversation with someone at the back, but I only seen an empty seat.

With a loving smile she spoke with concern to this car seat's ghost.

We stopped at a convenient store for a quick bathroom break. As we hopped out the car I misheard the sound of extra footsteps coming out with us.

Walking along to the store as a family I noticed our shadows had an extra pair of feet.

Before I could ask the question,  my mother looked at me and said, "we best make our use of the toilet quick, your father likes to keep his time"

I noticed as she spoke, her eye wasn't locked to me alone, but to another person. 

But again I could not see who it was she was referring to.

I went into the bathroom, used the toilet and then after washed my hands. There was a man in there with me who said the strangest of things.

"Oooooh, such a split image that you can easily mistake them both"

But again I could not see who it was he was referring to.

As we jumped back into the car and drove off to complete our journey, the chocking feeling began to grab my throat. The car began to fill with water from all sides. I felt myself drowning in shallow waters.

And before I could scream for help,  everything fell black. I woke up again in a cold sweat,  digging my fingers into the couch edges trying to catch my breath.

"Lord, what is going on, why these constant nightmares", asking him in silent prayer.

I decided it best to close shop early for today. "Perhaps I should go home and try rest there", concluding to myself. But the fear in the back of my mind is this torture will not stop.

"I seen how broken she was after that day,

She hoped it not True. To the Lord she asked why, as went inside our room to pray.

I blame myself for letting you both down. It's all my fault.

And from the days after that incident, it felt like I rubbed my wounds in salt.

If only, if only, I could turn back the time,

Try to save you both and instead not from that day feel like I paid for my sins by the dime. "

_ Father