6. Best Laid Plans

Zandra sighed as she flopped down on her bed, her first homework exercise for the night slain. Finally she could relax for a few minutes. She gazed up at the sloped ceiling, tracing the crisscrossing beams with her eyes. Now she had more time to think, her thoughts drifted back to lunchtime, and Dell's tantalising promise about helping her to get revenge on Jay.

If only they'd had more time to talk! Or – Zandra realised that she couldn't quite blame chance here – if only she'd thought to ask instead of chatting about upcoming movies for so much of their lunch break. She'd kind of assumed that they would get a chance to talk later in the afternoon, but the complexity of class schedules at their school meant that it hadn't happened today. But after a moment of disappointment, Zandra remembered that she could talk to her friend outside school hours too, and there was presumably nothing about the plan that would require them to talk in person. She grabbed her phone and quickly tapped on the Clatter icon, and then started typing a message.

"Hey! Didn't get to hear the details earlier.  What's the master plan for making my stupid brother sorry?? 😝"

A few bubbly dots popped up immediately, showing Dell was typing. And then: "Don't you worry darling, I've got something devilish in mind! 😈 I've been trying to arrange everything. Don't want to make promises before it's ready, though. Hasn't been entirely plain ✈⛵ sailing."

"You said you could make him feel like a baby, right?" Zandra asked, typing her response before she'd even fully read Dell's message.

"Yeah. Pretty sure I can get him to agree we can treat him like a baby. So if he fights, it's hippocrates. But it needs the right context, and that's the problem." Zandra read the message, but she could see the little bubbles bouncing on the screen, so she waited for Dell's next message. She couldn't wait to find out how they could possibly get Jay to agree to something so strange, but if Dell said she had a plan, that much was certainly true.

"Zandra!" her mum's voice called from down below. "Dinner's ready!" Zandra paused for a second, but then saw another message from Dell on her screen. She could surely read it before she went for dinner, so that she didn't leave Dell waiting for a response. And of course her curiosity demanded to be satisfied.

She looked down, and read the start of the wall of text: "First step was getting Sabine to casually mention the new season of Party Harder coming out. You know how much your brother and Sean love bingeing that show. Every other year. Was hoping Sean would invite Jay for a viewing extravaganza, perfect environment for my plan."

Zandra nodded. If she'd known that Party Harder was out, she would have suggested using it to make sure Jay was where she wanted him. That show had been what brought Jay and Sean together, back when they were both in school. Before the show had gone from online video sites to an actual television phenomenon. They would always take over the den at Sean and Sabine's house to watch twenty-four hours of extended editions in one sitting. And now she thought about it, Zandra wasn't sure if that was how she'd been introduced to Sabine so many years ago. If so, she owed the show some thanks.

It had scared her, though. Not the videos, which she was sure weren't actually the reality show they claimed, but knowing that her brother and his friend wanted to do that kind of thing in the real world. Making up bigger and better pranks, always trying to one-up themselves. The only solace there was that Jay's wild imagination meant he enjoyed pranks that were more original than simple destruction; while Sean's knack for understanding science and engineering guaranteed 100% fewer explosions and hospital visits than the characters of that show.

Zandra focused her attention back on the words in front of her. She skimmed what Dell had written, which seemed to go into quite a lot of detail. She knew that her brother would usually go to Sean's house to binge the new season when the show that had united them came out, and Dell said that would have been a perfect venue for her revenge. But Sabine's dad was having problems with insomnia, and wouldn't tolerate two boys making so much noise in the den when he was trying to sleep. They would have to find somewhere else to stage this.

"Zandra!" her mum's voice came up the stairs again, a little louder this time. "Did you hear me? Your dinner is on the table."

"Coming Mum!" she yelled back, and then turned her eyes back to her phone. She needed to know what Dell had in mind. She typed another question, about as quickly as she could.

"You can make him agree?" she typed. "Sounds like you'll need to get him in the right frame of mind for that. Will the show help?"

"It should, I think. Just to get him in the right kind of competitive mood. Plus, Sean's been acting like a baby. I'd like to get him too, give Sabine a chance to drum responsibility into him. Now, I probably can't tell you what I've got in mind, or it might stress you out. Something you're likely to overreact to. But I promise, he'll agree to being our baby. And then there's so many things we can do to him. If I can just get my hands on him."

"I'm sure you'll think of something," Zandra typed, thumbs moving as fast as they ever had. "Thank you. I won't ask about how you'll get him to agree. But what will we do with him? Nothing really weird, I hope. Can we make him drink a bottle of formula?"

The bubbles flashed on the screen again, until Zandra's attention was drawn away by another yell from downstairs.

"Zandra, you get down here right now! We are WAITING!" This time, it was her father's voice and Zandra knew that she had crossed a line. She took a deep breath, put her phone down, and ran down the stairs as fast as she could with the apology already forming on her lips. She crossed the landing so fast that she stumbled at the top of the second flight of stairs; but managed to catch herself and rushed down to the dining room.

A faint wisp of steam rose from four plates piled with slices of chicken, roast potatoes, and pale, overcooked vegetables. Behind two of the plates sat her parents; Mum pouring some gravy over her potatoes, while Dad set down his knife and fork and paused eating to stare accusingly. The half potato skewered on the fork wobbled erratically on the side of the plate, and Zandra found her eyes fixed on it until it came to a halt.

"Sorry, I was just..." she started, but trailed off at the stern expression on her father's face.

"Your mother already called you down twice," he said sharply. "We've been waiting for you, while dinner gets cold. You need to learn to show a little more respect, young lady. I'm sure you would never keep your friends waiting like that, but for family you see no reason to maintain common courtesy. Perhaps it is time for you to…"

The diatribe continued, mostly dwelling on the main themes of punctuality, respect, and manners. He wasn't shouting, but his voice was a good deal louder than it needed to be. Dad stared straight at her the whole time, watching for any sign of disagreement. She knew that she had to give him her full attention during a lecture like this, but she caught sight of Mum from the corner of her eye, chewing a piece of chicken and not allowing Dad's lecture to interrupt her meal. Zandra could see the empty chair next to her as well. She was willing to bet that Dad didn't want to maintain this level of affronted disappointment for two lectures in the same day, so Jay would probably get nothing more than a grunt whenever he joined the table.

The diatribe finally wrapped up with another expression of disappointment, and the: "So, what do you have to say for yourself, young lady?"

"I know, I'm really sorry Dad," Zandra said, eyes downcast. It was so tempting to try to explain that she'd been doing homework or something, but she knew it wouldn't matter. In Dad's world the only way to show respect was to follow his rules and adhere to his plans; he didn't want to hear excuses and to him there was no legitimate reason for changing plans. "I guess I lost track of time."

He gave a grunt, and then turned back to his meal. He resumed eating just where he had left off, and Zandra assumed that meant she could have her own dinner now. Even though her friends had come through for her at lunch time, she was still ravenous.

She tried to focus on the food. The chicken was juicy and tender, the potatoes crisp and fluffy. The gravy was a little thick, and the vegetables quite soft, but it was still a good meal, and she knew that she should be grateful for it. But as she ate, her eyes drifted over to Jay's plate again, and the food standing there untouched. It was too easy to imagine her brother waltzing in late, and just getting a meaningful glance from Dad. He would never get the same kind of lecture that Zandra had been treated to. With him it would just be a joke, because he'd passed some arbitrary line in the sand and the government had started treating him like an adult. But why did that mean her own parents were willing to talk to her like she was still a child. She swallowed, the resentment burning hot in her chest.

"I hope this won't happen again," Dad said, while they ate in silence. "I raised you better than that. You should be a good young woman."

Zandra nodded meekly and took another bite. She didn't have anything else to say now. She just wished that she could eat faster, and return to the attic to check if she had a reply from Dell.

"Did you enjoy your lunch, dear?" Mum asked, and Zandra didn't realise that the question was directed to her until she continued: "Jay picked smoked salmon and cream cheese sandwiches for me. It's a combination I probably wouldn't have thought of, a nice surprise to break up the monotony of work."

"Sounds nice," Zandra answered with a little smile. She could tell that her mum was trying to think of more positive things to talk about, in order to interrupt the sullen silence. Mankind peace with her father would probably have been a good thing, but Zandra didn't think that she wanted to talk about her day right now.

"Did he do anything nice for you? I noticed he put a little joke on the wrapping, but I hope you could still see the effort that he put in." Mum was trying to encourage her to talk, that much was clear. But Zandra wasn't sure how to answer that question. For a moment she thought about mentioning the baby wipes and formula; Jay really couldn't blame her if she just answered a question when she was asked. It wasn't like she'd gone crying for help to her parents; and there was nothing particularly mature about keeping someone else's sins secret. And, as she had so recently been reminded, proper mealtimes were a really big deal for her dad.

Dad said mealtimes were important, because they were a time that everyone could set aside their differences. And because good food was essential for a healthy body and mind. Sharing food with someone should be an expression of trust. She didn't think that being a little late should be taken as seriously as dad made it, but that was only the thin end of the wedge. If he found out that she'd gone to school only to find that her lunch bag contained stuff that wasn't actual food, there was a good chance that Jay would be getting his ass kicked – maybe literally – just as soon as he got home.

But the spark of vengeance faded as quickly as it had flared, as Zandra realised exactly why she couldn't say those things. Jay's actions had upset her, but hadn't actually hurt her in the end. So it wouldn't be fair for her brother to feel the full extent of Dad's wrath. Treating him like a baby and showing him how it felt would make him reconsider his actions, and would feel kind of appropriate given the way he'd treated her. It was a punishment that kind of fit the crime, and would make her feel better as well. But getting Jay actually hurt or kicked out of the house would only increase resentment between them, and she knew that her guilt over that would last forever. She couldn't be responsible for hurting him, even if the devil on her shoulder thought he deserved it.

"I uhh…" she said, trying to figure out what she should say instead. "There was some stuff in there I didn't feel I could eat, really. But I don't want to get him in trouble. I swapped with Sabine, so everything's okay."

"I'm sure he'll do better in future." Her mum nodded, and then glanced at her dad. Maybe Zandra had looked in his direction more obviously than she thought; because it seemed like Mum knew what she was thinking. She knew there had been some problem; so she wouldn't object to Zandra taking her cafeteria card as a backup if Jay wanted to make lunch again. "I hope you enjoyed your day, anyway."

Zandra just nodded, unsure what else to say. She took a bite of cooling chicken, hoping talk would drift to easier topics. The gravy was thick and gluey now, but still tasty.

"Dell shared some funny videos she found online," Zandra offered after swallowing a mouthful. It wasn't much, but maybe it would keep Mum from asking further about lunch. "We were laughing so much we nearly cried." That was true enough, even if she was exaggerating a little. And now that she tried, it was easier to draw her thoughts away from Jay's malice, and back towards how happy she was when she could spend time with her friends.

"Oh, I love a good giggle," Mum said warmly. "Laughter is the best medicine, so they say!"

Zandra smiled and nodded, letting her mother chat blithely about the benefits of humour and community. The tension seeped away as the meal continued. Now, Zandra could talk about her friends, and her classes, rather than thinking about Jay and how much he wanted to treat her like a baby. For a short while, she could even stop thinking about her phone, and the messages from Dell that might be waiting for her when she got back upstairs.

Jay would experience his own humiliation soon enough. Until then, Zandra could think about more positive things.