Boyfriend house

I was a late bloomer in terms of sexuality. I had a traumatic experience that made me not want to date much in high school, so its surprising that not even a year after graduating I was so excited to date Jeff. He was older than me by a few years and messaged me on MySpace that he thought I was pretty and wanted to go out. We went out on a few dates and held hands, he thought it was cute that I had never even been kissed before. Things seemed to be OK, and he said he respected that I wanted to go very slow.

One night he acted really strange. His friend Matt was over and they kept joking that they should take me to see their friend. I knew something was off because they kept "joking" that they shouldn't do it. That i was too pure and I would freak out.

This was over 10 years ago, so I'm not 100% sure, but I don't remember agreeing to go to this guys house. I remember asking them to take me home. I was uncomfortable and didn't want to meet this guy. This was supposed to be a date night, Matt wasn't even supposed to be there and now I'm going to see some other guy? My intuition told me something was off about this.

The drive was up a long unlit unpaved road up a mountain. On the way Jeff and Matt were saying things like "oh man, she's not going to be your girlfriend after this!" and "dude we're going to hell for this."

I tried to act like I wasn't crying in fear in the back seat. All I asked was where we were going, which they laughed at. I stayed silent and tried to focus on anything that could tell me where we were going but it was in a rural area I've never been to before.

We got to the house, a single story two bedroom surrounded by nothing but unlit nothingness. The friend was an older man (late 30's) who I was told was a porn producer. He showed me his "red room" and Jeff pushed me into it. I let out the terrified scream I'd been holding in the entire time. I can still hear how it sounded, it was awful. They all laughed. I walked to the couch in the living room and stayed there the entire night. I was too afraid to even use the bathroom.

The rest of the night was spent with them drinking beer while I sat on the couch digging my nails into the palms of my hands, trying not to cry. I didn't eat or drink anything that was offered. Matt mentioned that Jeff used to bring his girls to this house to have sex. Their creepy old friend "joked" that he could record it. Lots of uncomfortable sex jokes.

The creepy old guy told me that virgins can make a lot of money doing porn, like he was doing me a fucking favor. It was almost half my life ago, but I remember exactly how that room smelled, how the fake leather couch felt, how time seemed to move at a inconsistent speed. I dont remember how I responded to that but he backed off.

Nothing bad happened that night, but when I got home I collapsed in the shower crying. I don't know why I was taken to that house. After that night Jeff's tune changed from "we can go at whatever speed you want!" to: "this trauma is really holding you back, you need to just have sex and get it over with."

Looking back i am just really grateful I listened to my intution and ended things with Jeff and cut ties with all of his friends.

My current boyfriend and I were talking about weird things that happened to us and I remember this night. When I told him, he looked horrified and it occurred to me that that night could have gone very differently.