Meet the Monster

"Otec left me in here for several days. I think he might be trying to attack my family. I want to stop him if he is going to do that." (Rehor)

"You are Otec's ward. We aren't able to help you out. Stay there until Otec comes back." (Woman Unleashed)

"But I must get out of here. I made a promise to protect my family, so can't you let me out." (Rehor)

"No we are not able to. Now be silent and wait for Otec's return." (Woman Unleashed)

I should be furious right now. Otec has left, and he has left me here for several days. I know I should try to fight to get out of here, but, I do not have the drive. This is how much they have broken me, I do not even have the drive to fight for my family.

As the three Unleashed passed beyond my hearing distance, I tried to figure out what to do. I did make that promise to myself, to protect my family, so I should at least try to get out of here. Unfortunately for me, I do not have the extra energy that emotions push on to somebody.

I have been in these isolation cells enough times, that I know where the hatch is, so I will try to open it up from my end. And then what do I do after I get out of here? Other than going to the house my family lives in, I do not even have the slightest clue. I can not even remember how to get back there, from here. I have only made the trip one way, and that was years ago.

If I was a normal person, I should be getting frustrated at my lack of ability to do anything. Other than knowing what I should be doing, I am confused. I am not able to use my power to help me out, as I have not been trained with it, in the slightest. I do not even know how to will it up to fling it out randomly.

There have been times where I have unconsciously used it, but I have never willingly been able to call it out. The only thing that would give me some strength to defend my family, and I am lesser at using it than I was when I got here. My anger would have at least let me utilize it as a weapon, even it was wielded haphazardly.

"I need to get out of here." (Rehor)

* * *

I have been trying to get the hatch to open up, to drop down the stairs, for several hours now. Finally, I was able to get to a point where I can open it. But my body, it's lack of physical healthiness is starting to hinder me.

While previously, I was not doing anything to exert myself, while I was in here. Now, though, I have been attacking the room, so that I could get out. So close, and yet I am failing.

While I am not completely sure that Otec is going to kill my family, I know I should be at least attempting to stop him. Yet, now, I am getting too weak to be effective.

If I still could feel, I would probably being feeling disgust at myself. Disgust, as I am not capable of helping my family. Disgust that I am not pissed off at myself for not being able to keep my self-proclaimed promise. Disgust at myself for being useless.

Still, I will force my body to leave this room. My feelings no longer drive my actions, only have cold, dead, logical brain. And all my brain can think of at this moment, as I drop the stairs down, is that it needs sustenance and rest. Even as I step up the stairs, the relief of being free, is absent.

"It took you long enough." (Otec)

I heard Otec's voice for the first time in several days. He never left here, so was that to mean that he was still considering over killing my family. He did not lie to me.

But what about what the other Unleashed were saying? Did they not say that he had left? Were they wrong, or were they just ill informed.

"I'm sorry Otec. I'll go back down. And I apologize for speaking." (Rehor)

So as to avoid any more punishment, I willing will go back down the stairs in my solitary room. I know I will get some form of punishment, for speaking. I know that, but I will do what I need so as to prevent more than I have to to avoid any more than I have already been allotted.

"Why are you going down so soon, Rehor?" (Otec)

"…" (Rehor)

"You are given permission to speak. So, answer my question. Why are you going back down?" (Otec)

"Because I shouldn't have come up. Since you haven't released me, I need to go back down until you let me leave." (Rehor)

"So that's why are going back down. Now here is another question for you, why did you come out before I let you out of there?" (Otec)

"I thought you were going to kill my family." (Rehor)

"Why did you think I was on my way to kill them?" (Otec)

"I have never been left in there for more than a few hours, and it has been several days. Also, I heard some Unleashed saying that you have left here." (Rehor)

"If you were scared for your family, why didn't you try harder to escape?" (Otec)

"I wasn't afraid for them. I inferred incorrectly, and I tried to leave. My body lacks energy, so I wasn't able to use more force than what I did." (Rehor)

At this point, Otec stopped the conversation. So, I went to go back down the stairs. Otec did not lie to me, so I trust him to let me out before he decides on if he is going to kill my family.

"Stop Rehor. I want you to answer me a few more questions, before I decide what I should do with you." (Otec)

"Alright." (Rehor)

"What do feelings do for a person?" (Otec)

"Feelings give a person a reason for being." (Rehor)

"Forgive me, I should have been more clear. What do feelings do for a person in the moment they are felt?" (Otec)

"They give a call for action. Fear can make you shrink back, from getting hurt. Anger gives your body energy for a call to action." (Rehor)

"What happens if you have multiple feelings at the same time?" (Otec)

What a strange line of questioning from Otec. What is with all these questions about feelings? I can give him a rough idea what I think, but I am having trouble remembering what having feelings are like. They have faded from me, so that, even if I know the words, the concepts, themselves, are hard to construct.

"I don't know." (Rehor)

"Then what were you feeling when you tried to leave?" (Otec)

"I wasn't feeling anything. I had assumed you had left to kill my parents. I was supposed to attempt to stop you. I don't know how I was going to do it, but, I made a promise to protect them." (Rehor)

"So you weren't feeling angry or sad. You weren't even angry at me, that I was going to kill them?" (Otec)

"No. I was misinformed about the situation, and I acted on what I should do in that situation." (Otec)

"Give me a moment to think of what to do with you." (Otec)

And here, Otec paused one more time. I could tell that he was trying to process what I had said, and attempting to come up with my punishment. I do not want to be punished, but I deserve it.