Chapter 2

I'm not in college yet. I'm an immigrant who had already spent two incredible years (sarcasm intended) of college in another country. I'm glad I'm not there anymore, the people were not the nicest. Now I'm planning to attend somewhere and I have no clue what I'm to study

I don't even want to go to school

Can't I be like an influencer or like a celebrity or something, I have the talent and the award-winning smile so why can't it just work out for me.

I just need a money tree.

I left home this morning pretty early, with no particular motivation for the day… just to come back alive, I guess.

My Parents never actually gave me any form of freedom before we came to this country, now they're practically sending me away, out of their house and away from their food.

Fending for myself... I'm not even 20 yet and they're betraying me like this.

I have nothing to do all day… I mean apart from work

I did a bit of cleaning. we don't usually see customers this early and I get this shift with two other guys… we don't talk much and its probably my fault but whatever. I haven't been here long and probably won't be here too long either because college is starting in a few months.

If we're going to talk, we will.

Theres one customer I always look out for. She's a girl with the best fashion sense I've ever had the grace of seeing in person. I haven't had an actual conversation with her but I'm always the one serving her so I flirt with her from time to time and she passes the vibe check every single time.

She left and I was back to my black and white life.. I don't even know her name

My co worker gave me a look and I ignored it, not sure what that was about… not sure I care

Finally I was on break. I grabbed a cup of sprite and went out to sit on a bench out back, not too far from the trash bin but it doesn't smell and that's good enough

I'm probably the one being awkward with my mates at work but I dint have the energy for it all right no

I heard tiny footsteps and the laughter of children, probably middle schoolers. They're on break too

I never went to middle school. It was Nursery, then Primary, then Secondary, the University, Then life.

Primary

I was pretty smart, I'm not sure where the drive went to. I drew a lot and I loved verbal and quantitative reasoning. I was a really bright child but didn't have many friends.

I tried to make a few but little girls are mean. I wore glasses and there was another girl who did. I wanted her to be my friend but she wasn't particularly interested. She let me stay near her though, I honestly felt happy being with her until another girl moved to town.

They both hit it off immediately and I learnt pretty early that three is a crowd.

I was alone and I lashed out a bit. There was this one teacher that bullied me a bit but she was almost always pregnant so I think I was her punching bag or something.

She sent me out of one of her classes and I spent the rest of her classes crying.

Someone started hugging me and patting my head and I honestly thought it was my glasses partner… nah it wasn't her, she couldn't care less. I later learnt that she made fun of me when I was sent out. It was the twins that came out to comfort me.

The twins, they were precious, a boy and a girl with two distinct personalities. The boy was a short king, even till now he is a short king with the confidence of a kangaroo. He loved to draw also and admired my art a lot. The girl was the studious type, she was alone a lot but didn't seem to mind. She had a good relationship with everyone and didn't take nonsense from anybody. I wanted to be her.

I spent most of my days delivering love letters from my crush to my crushes' crush. It was sad really but apparently none of the boys saw me as a girl.

I did make a lot of money from delivering love letters, I never lacked snacks and all was good.

I did want someone to like me, there was another guy. Crush number 2. He was really quiet but that's because he was a pushover. He knew I liked him, I gave him my snacks for Gods sake, how can a 7 year old get more obvious than that.

There was another girl, really fluent in boy talk but good at girl talk too. She wasn't nice, actually she was nasty. She made fun of my boobs.

She had my crush number 2 on a leash and he followed her like an obedient Dog. Im not kidding. She dragged him everywhere by his ear. His EAR.

It wasn't nice being ignored or not being seen. Or actually being seen but not being seen for how great you are, taken advantage of and seen as nothing.

I got asthma. I'm not sure if it was asthma but when I got nervous and the anxiety was rolling in my throat closed up and I couldn't breathe. My parents never knew and my teachers didn't know how to help. I was gasping for air and they had the bright idea to pour water on my face. I almost choked on the water.

I became a tomboy in the later years. I didn't have female friends so I played soccer with them and everything. My self-worth diminished so much that I started being a bit too close to that one guy that shouldn't even be in that class. He made me do a few things a 10-year-old shouldn't do.

But it's alright, I gave him a slap that left a mark on his face for a week. I didn't mean it but it happened. A lot of other things happened and I was finally graduating from that place.

Apparently, I looked pretty on graduation and my crush that made me deliver his love letters came up to me to say he liked me. I shut it down and flipped my hair like a badass.

I had gone through enough and I was 10.

Secondary school was going to be better and I believed it… I was wrong