I WON'T CRY

After dinner, I had to go up to our family apartment. Savy said Mum wanted to talk to us privately. My Betas decided to wait outside our apartment and enter after.

I'm still not sure what I wanted to say to them. Grandma Luna's ring was still in my pocket and I wasn't even sure I dared to show my own Mum. Well, I didn't really think Mum would kill me to get it, but Grandma Luna had said all that stuff too and I didn't want to worry Mum. Even though I wished I could ask her for advice. Mum always knew what to do.

Unlike me... I never even knew what I was doing half the time. I had just always been lucky. Could luck help me now? Could luck tell me what to do with this ring?

I honestly didn't want it. It would just be another thing that I wasn't supposed to lose.

"Are you alright, Sam?" Mum asked when Savy and I sat down around the coffee table with her.

"Yeah." I nodded, "Why?"

"You seemed particularly upset when you entered the Banquet Hall with your Grandma." Mum said, "And there are three protective Betas guarding our front door..."

"Oh, they're not guarding. They're waiting. I asked to meet them after dinner." I said.

"Oh, well, then they can come in and wait." Mum said.

I went over to the front door, "My mum says you can just wait inside."

The three guys followed me into the apartment.

"Luna." They greeted with a synchronized bow. Wow, staying at Night Forest was affecting all of us.

"No need to be so formal." Mum smiled graciously, "Please join us. Ki, will you be a dear and pour us tea?"

With these words, the tension I hadn't quite noticed at first melted away. And it was like home again. Ben and Harvey sat down, and Killion got the kettle boiling.

"I just need to share some updates and brief the girls about the program later. You boys feel free and make yourselves at home." Mum said.

"Thank you Luna." Harvey said.

Ben nodded, "Yeah, thanks."

I felt so happy I dropped down from the sofa and sat on the floor. I put my head down on the coffee table. I was home.

"You had a rough time just now, didn't you?" Mum asked.

I nodded at the coffee table and let out an exaggerated sigh, "I don't know anything!"

"I think losing Grandpa Silas has been hard for your Grandma. We have decided to let Uncle Pierre and Uncle Andre take her back with them to their pack. The change of environment would take her mind off the loss of your Grandpa. And it would be a good opportunity for her to meet her other grandchildren."

I lifted up my head and stared at Mum. I opened my mouth and shut it again. Grandma said that was what they would do!

"Hopefully a few months away from this place, will give her some space to grieve and also I believe your uncles would like to mend their relationship with their mother and earn her forgiveness." Mum said.

Mum made it sound like a really good thing to do for Grandma Luna.

"How long will she be gone?" I asked.

"Just until the summer, she would be back by the next time we visit." Mum said.

"And to see her roses bloom again." I added, "I forgot there wouldn't be roses in winter."

Mum laughed. Savy put her hand over her mouth, but it didn't hide her grin.

"Well, they were always there when we came!" I said in my defense.

"That's because we only visited in Summer." Savy said.

I sulked, "Yeah, I realized."

More laughter. My mum and Savys' feminine sounds mixed in with the guys low and easy chuckles. The sound soothing my heart where Grandma Luna's words had scrapped.

It was strange though. Grandma Luna wasn't lying to me just now. But neither was Mum. It was like two completely opposite perspectives on the same thing. They were such poles apart, I couldn't wrap my mind around it all.

"Tonight will be Grandpa Silas' last wake. This will only be opened to family and pack members. There will be about an hour for eulogies to be made. After that, the pack members will line up to pay their last respects and we would be called to stand in a receiving line to shake hands." Mum sounded pretty serious.

I felt Savy squirm next to me.

"Savy, remember what I taught you. It's okay, even if you cry, and if it becomes too much, come stand behind me. I will shield you." Mum said.

Savy dropped down from the sofa right next to me. She nodded, but her reluctance was as bad as my own.

Mum turned her attention to me, "Sam, shake hands and smile. It's okay to cry. It's better to cry than to-"

"I won't cry!" My hair flared up like a wind blast.

"Than to do that." Mum completed, "Sam, if you do that, you're going to terrify the visitors."

"I won't cry!" I insisted. My hair raising to make my point.

Mum sighed, "At times like these, I wished Rebel was here."

"Luna Bell has been selected as part of the entertainment for the Vampire Queen's birthday. And he believes his target would be attending. The debauchery, I mean, celebration would last a whole week. If he plays his cards right, he might be able to get the cursed ring and make his escape sometime next week." Killion updated us with his usual gentle smile.

I touched the double bangles under the sleeve of my blouse.

Bell was coming home.

"It can't be that easy." Ben said, "Even if he got the ring, how would he escape the Queen's party? It had to be swarming with vamps."

"Powerful ones too. But it can't be helped." Killion shrugged, "He did agree to be back by April, and who knows when he would get another opportunity to approach his target?"

"That does sound rather risky." Harvey decided.

Bell was coming home, right?

"I'm sure he will be fine." Mum couldn't keep the worry out of her words though. She got off the sofa to sit next to me and stroked my back.

At the moment, I just took a deep breath. Goddess, what could I do?

Maybe I could dream travel over to help him, but of course I didn't say that aloud in front of Mum. At any rate, I wasn't confident in dealing with very old and powerful vamps.

"It'll be fine." I said aloud, more to myself than anyone else, "I'm very lucky."

And then I turned the conversation back because I already had my Grandpa Alpha's funeral to deal with. I didn't have time to worry about the possibility of my mate's funeral.

"I won't cry!" I insisted again.

And I won't let Bell die. He's mine!

Mum smiled, "We're here for you, Sam."

"I know." I leaned on Mum's shoulder. Savy was still leaning on my other side. Yeah. I know. I'm very lucky.

After that, Mum excused herself and Savy so I could meet with my Betas. They actually didn't have to leave. I wouldn't have minded their advice either, but I was too impressed by the way Mum left with Savy to stop them. maybe it was the years of being Dad's Luna. Mum simply looked at her watch and said, "Oh, I promised to be down early to help your Aunty Jade. Come Savy, I could use the extra hands."

Savy reluctantly got up to follow Mum.

"Please take care of Sam for me. She needs to be downstairs by 8.30pm. And please lock the apartment door when you leave." Mum said with a smile from the door.

I didn't need taking care of!

"Don't worry, Luna. We will take care of everything here." Killion said. He saw my Mum and Savy out and shut the door.

"So what did you want to see us for, Sam?" Ben asked.

"Are you alright, princess?" Harvey looked concerned, "Is this regarding your grandmother?"

"What happened just now?" Killion asked.

"Princess went for a walk with her grandmother. I met her upon their return and she seemed somewhat upset." Harvey said.

"Somewhat would be an understatement. I could feel her upset and I wasn't even nearby." Ben grumbled, he ran a hand through his hair, "Talk to us, Sam."

Yes. I wanted to, but what the hell was I supposed to say?

"I'm still trying to understand my Grandma Luna." I said... According to their expressions, this was a completely unhelpful remark.

"But that wasn't exactly it. I guess I wanted to ask you what you thought of Night Forest. It's very different from home, huh?" I guess I just wanted to hear from my Betas.

The three of them were now also sitting on the floor around the coffee table. They seemed to be regarding the question carefully.

Harvey spoke first, "It's very different from Morning Light, but I understand this is typical of most of the traditional packs..."

"Yes, but what would be the most different and what do you like and not like about it?" I asked because I didn't know if we had time for the long winded answer.

Harvey's expression cleared, seeming to understand something of my question, "Are you studying the pack's culture? The hierachy rules are very strictly enforced here. On one hand this makes work as a Beta very smooth going. The lower wolves are immediately and unquestionably cooperative. On the other hand, there is a constant fear and tension whenever interacting with superiors. There are pros and cons."

"That's what we can think, because our Alpha is Sam." Ki pointed out, "We enjoy a great deal of trust and independence from our Alpha, so we are pretty much on top of the food chain. Look at Beta Larson, he alone bears the budern of Alpha Louis' expectations and frustrations."

I remembered Oscar and Oprah, how Uncle Louis had left them in my disposal so easily. Mum had always treated Ben and Lizzy as her own when we were together. Weren't Betas family too?

"But that is the way in most packs. Even in the Lorent, the Beta is just the Alpha's tool." Killion shrugged, "I was happier the goddess' dog than the Beta's son."

"Good dog." Ben smirked at Ki, kicking him under the table.

Ki kicked him back. The two of them started a kicking match. Because my betas were mature like that.

"Hey, hey!" Harvey hit the table.

The other two guys stopped. I laughed.

"See?" Ki said, "It's fun here."

"Yes, but if you dare slack off dog, I will give you hell." Ben growled.

"Nobody is going to slack off." Harvey said, his voice a calm no nonsense.

I nodded, "We have lots to do. Build a new town, free the Lycans, merge our packs... I'm relying on you guys."

"Why are you asking us about this pack though?" Ben asked.

I shrugged, "I don't know, I guess I just wanted to know how you felt about it. What kind of pack will we build together?"

"What kind of pack do you want?" Ben asked.

"I want to protect the happiness of my pack." I said.

The three guys nodded, "Understood."

I'm not sure what they understood, but Harvey touched his watch, "Apologies princess, but you are due downstairs now."

"Okay." I said, "Thanks."

I stood up from the table, Killion started keeping the cups, "I'll deal with things here."

Harvey nodded.

"Let's go, princess." Ben smirked.

I punched him in the shoulder.

"Our Alpha is abusive and fierce." Ben deadpanned. I kicked him.

Harvey was smiling his usual calm smile. He walked ahead of us, the warriors we passed all bowing as we walked down the corridors.

Ben was taking the rear, just half a pace behind me. I just walked easily at my own pace.

It felt natural. Whenever I was with my betas, it always felt natural and easy to be me.