Chapter 89. Ghosted.

Fenn was stupid. That was really all there was to it.

Fenn was so fucking stupid!

How else could one describe someone foolish enough to take a hard pass on ruling the world? Someone who turned her nose at the idea of limitless power and authority. Someone who dared to reject a piece of real estate as prime as Everly herself?

Stupid. That's exactly what Fenn was.

Truly, it was the only explanation.

"She really doesn't know what she wants," Everly said to anyone who asked. Or didn't ask. Or were minding their own business when she'd intrude upon them and continue ranting on the subject as though they'd been having an ongoing conversation on the matter.

"I mean, seriously, she's weak," Everly continued, this time with the very reluctant Beverly as she lay on a couch, having her feet rubbed by a random skeleton. "She hasn't trained her powers nearly enough. Plus, she's too swollen-hearted. Every little bit of human suffering is just going to tug away at her."

"You make her sound like a puppy collector," Beverly said with an amused laugh. "Or a burgeoning cat lady."

"She practically is one!" Everly shouted. "Just watch! Before you know it, she'll be pulled in so many different directions that she won't be able to move forward. That, or some monster will come along and just kill and eat her. She can't do anything without me. She just doesn't have the pluck."

"The pluck?" Beverly said, trying the word out and not liking it. "Did you really just say she doesn't have the pluck?"

"Yeah," Everly said. "Why? What's wrong with it?"

"Do you want some apple cider or something?" Bev asked her. "I feel like people who use pluck as a noun, probably enjoy drinking apple cider."

"Shut up," Everly said irritably.

"Or maybe they'll head out to the state fair in their model-Ts to go slurp on some marmalade, or whatever," Bev continued. "Maybe get some raspberry Jam at a Canadian strip mall."

"Why a Canadian one?" asked Everly. "Which providence?"

"Probably Nover Skotier," Bev drawled. "Yeah, I wish I had the time to go cartin' to Nover Skotier for some maaarmalade and raspberry jam."

"You're getting on my nerves!" Everly warned her.

"Ohhh, I'm showing a lot of pluck, aren't I?" Bev sneered.

In response, Everly threw a couch cushion at her and left.

"Something I said?" Bev asked with a devious smirk.

__

"God, why is she being such a pill?" Everly muttered to herself as she made her way down the corridor. "What's wrong with the word pluck? Lots of people still say pluck! It's not some old timey turn of phrase. And what does that even have to do with Nova Scotia? It would have been so much funnier if she said Manitoba! Let's go cartin' to Manitober for some Marmalade! See? God, she's such an idiot…"

"Aw, come on, Everly, she's not that bad," said a friendly voice to her side. "Bev was clearly just—AHH!"

Moving with superhuman speed, Everly quickly spun around and seized the stranger by his throat and smashed him into the corridor's wall, pinning him easily into place.

"And just whom might you be?" she asked the man.

"Hey!" the stranger managed to choke out. "W-what are you doing?"

He was a handsome man, a few years older than Everly, with a scruffy chin and curly brown hair that needed a trim. He was taller as well, but clearly not a warrior. From how he slapped helplessly at her arm, it seemed he had no talent for getting out of a dangerous situation.

"I asked who the hell you were," Everly repeated as she tightened her grip. "Why are you following me?"

"What do you mean by that?" the man squirmed in confusion. "Everly, come on! It's me! Kent the ghost! I'm part of the team!"

"Part of the team? Huh? Would you kindly explain to me what you're babbling about?" Everly asked as she set the man down to his feet. "Don't make any attempt to run, I'm not in the mood to play chase."

"Everly, what's with you?" Kent, or whatever his name was, asked in a wounded tone of voice. "I've been hanging out in this memory palace for ages. Remember, I got killed at Bremburg? My spirit ended up getting snatched away by Eris, and once I convinced her I wasn't a demon, she said I could crash here! I've been helping you guys out ever since!"

Everly squinted at the man carefully trying to determine if he was playing a trick on her. As she focused on his face, her memory was gradually triggered, bringing her images of a slovenly looking commoner whose head had been torn from his head by one of the infected monsters who'd been haunting Bremburg.

"Wait, wait, wait," Everly said slowly. "Okay, I think I remember now. Aren't you that idiot who ruined the career of the previous maiden of the holy blade?"

"Huh? Ruined her career?" Kent shook his head indignantly at the accusation. "No, no, I helped my girl, Laurel, realize that there's more to life than perpetual duty to an organization that doesn't really appreciate her. I taught her how to have fun and you know, live for the moment."

"And how exactly did you do that?" Everly asked.

"Well, I got her to loosen up and not be so uptight," he replied.

"You mean you hit it," Everly said. "Tapped it. Got laid. Played keep away with her chastity."

"Everly, Jesus, why are we getting so vulgar?" he asked her.

"I'm just telling it like it is. You were her boy toy," Everly nodded. "And you got her to quit working for the Western temple." She stepped away from Kent then and gave him an appraising look. "I guess I owe you for that; she was by all accounts a very skilled opponent. She might have given me some trouble before I finished leveling up."

"Hey, Laurel and I still did good in the world," Kent said. "We just worked as independent adventurers was all. Did things on our own terms."

"Cool, sounds fascinating, I really don't care," Everly said with a dismissive shrug. "So, you died and now you're basically freeloading off me, huh?"

"Hardly!" replied Kent. "Eris has me teaching her and Titania about Earth culture and shit. I'm like their tutor now, right?"

"You're from Earth too?" Everly said. "Like, physically, or are you a rebirth like me?"

"Yeah, I'm from Earth. You know that; Eris said she told you for me."

"Uh, no?" Everly said. "This is the first I've heard of it and the first I've heard of you."

"That's nuts," Kent said incredulously. "I hang out with Eris and her sister all the time. They're nice people."

"You really think Eris is a nice person?" Everly asked him skeptically.

"I mean, sure she's got a temper, but who doesn't? I get mad when I stub my toe," Kent said diplomatically. "Back when I had toes anyway."

"So, how does being one of Eris' little pets make you a part of my team?" asked Everly.

"Are you saying I'm not? I thought we were friends!" Kent said. "I've been there for like all the major developments. You know, like when you killed Fenn for the first time, which I really wasn't cool with. You know, because she's my girl's little sister? I got heated, but I thought we talked it out. And I was there when you met your dad and Claudia! You really didn't see me?"

Everly shook her head.

"Jeez, what about when I backed you up when your crazy brother Aiden stole Jack's body?" Kent said in an increasingly louder voice. "I distracted him long enough for Beverly to put a spear through him!"

"That was Aiden?" Everly asked in a shocked voice. "Oh my god, it all makes sense now!"

"You were being serious about not knowing who he was?" replied Kent. "Jeez, I thought you guys were like doing a meme or something. Holy shit, Everly you really haven't noticed me at all?"

Everly shook her head again.

"Sorry, Kent. I guess you just don't have a very powerful presence," she said apologetically. "Don't feel bad about it though. Have you ever heard that phrase you're a waste of space? I guess that applies literally to you. In death, you've become a total non-entity. A nobody from nowhere."

After considering her words, Kent slowly slid down the wall to his haunches and covered his face. "Oh, jeez. Oh, God, how could I not have noticed? Was I really that unaware that I couldn't see that no one else was aware, either?"

"Seems like it," Everly nodded. "Wow, Kent, you must be a real loser."

"I feel like one!" Kent sobbed into his hands.

Everly began to brighten up, pleased that she'd discovered someone who was having a worse morning than she was. "Damn, if it was me in this situation, I'd want some way to end my humiliation."

"Well, it's not like I can kill myself!" Kent cried. "Why didn't Eris just tell me I was talking to myself? Why would she be so cruel?"

"Kent, remember who Eris is and then ask yourself that question one more time," Everly laughed.

"It's not funny!" he said.

"It really is," she said, laughing again.

"My entire life is some Elemental's idea of a joke!" he said.

"Well, it's not exactly your life, now, is it?" Everly smirked. She then reached down to help the despondent ghost to his feet. "C'mon. Guess I can't leave you this way if you're on the team."

"Where are going?" Kent asked with a sniffle.

"We're going to do some early recycling," said Everly.