Life 7-1

[What in the ever-loving Hell am I looking at right now?]

Noé couldn't say he was expecting much of anything when he'd taken on a Summoning request that night. He tended not to in order to keep his expectations from letting him down as is out of principle. It kept his life simple and reduced the number of problems he had by getting too hopeful about things.

But to say he expected the summoning request to once more slap him into a room covered in anime and manga paraphernalia was something low on his list. Much less when said paraphernalia was all from various magical girl series of some sort.

And he also absolutely did not expect to come face to face with a towering, muscular wall of a man dressed in a cosplay of one of the characters in this room. A very poorly fit cosplay to boot.

If one had to describe Noé's expression at the time, it was strained, flat, and devoid of color from pure shock, and maybe a bit of trauma.

"Ah, you've arrived-nyou?" said the client, absolutely failing at affecting a falsetto, further cementing in Noé's shock in the moment. The verbal-tic is what clinched it. "Are you okay Mr. Devil, nyou?"

"No, I'm not okay," Noé brought his hands to his face, dragging them down as a pained groan left his throat. Gremory, what the hell kind of clients does your peerage serve in this damn town?! I could handle Morisawa, that guy was chill. But this?! This is another problem entirely! How do you handle this?! "Okay… let's just get to business. Why did… I don't know what to call you…"

"Mil-tan-nyou!"

"Doesn't help. Look, you summoned a Devil for some reason, what would that be?" Just play it politely, hear them out, and maybe I can get out of tonight without any problems.

Suddenly, Mil-tan's eyes flashed brightly. Noé would have called this an attempt at some magical girl schtick of some kind as they struck a pose, but the sensation Noé felt was more like raging battle spirit than an aura of cuteness. His shock only deepened as he pulled away a bit on reaction alone.

"That's right-nyou. I called you, Mr. Devil, because I want to make a wish-nyou. I want you to make Mil-tan a Magical Girl-nyou!"

"Then teleport to another world, I'm not fucking Kyubey," Noé felt at least something in him snap as the utterly deadpan reply flew from his mouth.

"I already tried that-nyou."

"What," Noé's eyes fluttered as he could only flatly respond to that declaration. Now he really didn't know what was going on with the person before him.

"But it was impossible-nyou! There was no one who could give Mil-tan magical powers-nyou! The only option left was to ask my arch-enemy, the Devils-nyou! Mr. Devil! Please give Mil-tan fantasy-like powers-nyouuuuu!"

Noé covered his ears as Mil-tan's speech turned into bellows, loud enough he was sure the neighbors in the apartment complex were going to wake up. Or maybe they were just used to this by now and didn't bother. He sincerely hoped it was the latter.

"Look I ain't got the means to even do that!" Noé barked, feeling his ears ringing a bit even after he uncovered them. "Your damn vocal cords could sure as hell suffice though! And do you even know how Devil contracts work?!"

"I'll even give my soul if that's what it takes-nyou!"

"We don't take souls! That's old fashioned and inefficient!" To at least check it, Noé pulled out his phone and opened a new app on it, one installed by Rias through magical means. He was a tad impressed Devils had figured out how to do things with smart phones to say the least. Opening up the file for his current client, Noé input the desired wish… and to no surprise of his own, the cost was outright death. "… yeah, selling the soul wouldn't work. Not worth enough."

"There has to be some method isn't there-nyou?!"

"Stop crying dammit!" Noé shouted, an eye twitching as Mil-tan continued to bellow. "Think about your neighbors, damn. Okay, look… how about we just sit down, and you… tell me why in the hell you want to be a Magical Girl, alright?"

Mil-tan's face suddenly splits into a scary-looking grin, prompting Noé's look to become even more stilted as a nervous chuckle left his mouth.

"Then let's what Magical Girl Milky Spiral 7 Alternative together-nyou! The story about the magic starts from there-nyou!"

"What the hell kind of title is that?!" THIS IS THE WORST! Was what he screamed in his head.