NINETY-FOUR

SHIMMER'S POV

My heart ached as I recalled how sad my son had been. I had not meant to hurt him; I just thought that if I was stern; he would see the severity of the matter. Turning my office chair around restlessly, I picked the phone and called my PA. she walked in hesitantly, and stared at me, tablet in hand.

"Sit down," I told her with a smile. "I need to ask you something. If you really want to tell your child to stop something; is it wise to shout about it; or it's best to say it nicely? What is more effective?" I lowered my head slowly to the left, while keeping my eyes fixed on her. She sighed and seemed to relax, then smiled at me.

"I am not sure, doctor de Milo" she began to talk. "My own child is still very young, so I wouldn't know what works best. I mean, I'm still new at parenting," she chuckled.

"I understand," I nodded my head.

"But what I can say, doctor de Milo, is, you have grown up kids. I would say, shouting at a grown up child is making a mistake. The child has his or her own thoughts. So I think, for grown up kids, I would suggest you sit down with him or her, and ask them the reasons why they are doing what they are doing. From talking to them, you may find out that they actually have valid reasons for acting in certain ways." She smiled brightly at me.

Nodding my head, I urged her to go on, and she proceeded, "for children of my daughter's age, I guess both ways work. She's just three. Sometimes I just have to shout for her to stop something." She laughed.

"You're right," I agreed with her.

"But for you, doctor de Milo, ummm. I can't imagine you shouting at doctor Ciera or doctor Dylan. Or shouting at Arianna? Ummm; it doesn't sound right." She smiled again.

"OK thanks. You may leave." she immediately stood up and left.

I picked my phone and dialed Dylan's number. Before it started to ring, I quickly ended the call, for I had no idea what I was going to say to him if he had answered the call.

I sent a message to Ciera.

Shimmer: Ciera

Ciera: Hello mum

Shimmer: Tell me honestly; do you think I was too tough with Dylan?

She was silent for a long time.

Shimmer: Ciera?

Ciera: I don't know, mum. I don't know what you said to him. Sorry but I'm busy at the moment. Can we chat later.

I felt all sorts of emotions. Anger, embarrassment, shame. I hated myself for shouting at him. But then, the thing was, when I became angry, I failed to control myself. I almost always regretted doing some things, yet on the next time, I either repeated the same or even did worse.

And Ciera being Ciera, there was no way she was going to share her thoughts with me. The person who was definitely going to tell it all; and even more than what I needed, was Arianna. I dreaded asking her. I was not sure if I wanted to hear what she was going to say.

Feeling defeated and let down, I held my head in my hands and heaved a sigh.

My PA knocked softly and lifted a few papers to show me, "the clinic inventory order is not yet approved, ma'am. The accountant said it is above budget and no one can sign it without your approval. In the meeting…"

"Leave it on my desk," I spoke as I pointed at the corner of my desk.

She placed it neatly and started to talk again, "In the meeting they said…"

"I said leave it on my desk!" I heard myself saying.

The girl curled into herself, retreated two steps and then walked out of my office, closing the door softly behind her.

I picked my phone and sent a message to Arianna.

Shimmer: Arianna dear, how is your day?

It took a quite a while before Arianna started typing.

Arianna: Hey mum. How's work? I'm good.

Shimmer: Arianna; tell me honestly, was I too tough with Dylan?

Arianna: You've always been too tough with him.

Shimmer: What do you mean? Arianna I am serious! I mean when we had the family meeting? Do you think I was too harsh?

Arianna: I suggest you just talk to him.

Shimmer: But I need to hear from you. Your thoughts, Arianna.

Arianna: Umm, let me think.

Shimmer: You can tell me anything. Be open and honest with me.

Arianna: Well then if you need honesty; I think you're too hard on him. You control him; sort of. Just let him be.

Shimmer: You think I control Dylan? How?

Arianna: Mamma! I don't have examples. I just mean…you're tough.

Shimmer: Tough? With who? With Dylan, or with all of you?

Arianna: I guess with all of us. But more with Dylan. He told me what you said to him….very hurtful words, mum! I think its best you talk to him and sort yourselves out….Can I ask you something?

Shimmer: Sure.

Arianna: Why do you hate Anisha that much?

Shimmer: I can't possibly talk about it over the phone. She is not good for Dylan, trust me.

Arianna: I see no problem with her. Can I ask you another question?

Shimmer: OK…

Arianna: when it comes to Dylan's friends, whose decision should it be who he chooses as his friends?

Shimmer: His, I guess. But Arianna, I am your mother. I cannot watch you making mistakes. As a mother, it is my duty to be involved in your lives, and when you make mistakes, I am here to correct you.

Arianna: Fair enough. Can I ask you another question?

Shimmer: What's with the thousand questions, Arianna?

Arianna: Can I ask, mamma?

Shimmer: OK; maybe one last question. Just one more.

Arianna. Two more…please?

Shimmer: OK. Two only.

Arianna: Why did Raelynn say you were involved in drugging and arranging for Anisha to be raped?

Shimmer: How would I know? Raelynn is a liar!! She obviously couldn't take the fall alone! Go watch that video! That boy Logan does not even mention my name! if I was part of it, why did he not mention my name?

Arianna: My last question.

Shimmer: What is it?

Arianna: Were you involved in drugging Anisha as well as arranging for her to be sexually abused? Don't answer that one. Rhetorical question.