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Desolate Fate

On the day he first met a cultivator, Yaan’s life was changed forever. All that he cared for was ripped away from him. He was forced into a despair-inducing situation, but he endured, he fought, he refused to give up. But why did he persevere, what drove him to go on? With nothing to return to, his hatred and rage fuelled his will to survive… But hatred begets more hatred and the flames of rage are extinguished with time. He was desperately clinging to any thread of meaning that he could find, but heated emotions do not last forever, and ambitions are rarely easily achieved. A person changes over time, often into that which they once despised… Life…is a struggle. A struggle against the world, a struggle against our own nature, and a struggle against fate. This is the tale of a lone person’s struggle through a twisted world, and his desperate attempt to resist his desolate fate.

SpicyDaoist · Fantasie
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427 Chs

Reunion Chat

On the Spirit Plane, Yaan's main body, who continued to go by his actual name, 'Yaan', sat within the Spirit Palace and faced the Spirit Plane Lord and the Primordial Sage. Naturally, they had both been watching over him as he slept, since they wanted to know as soon as he awoke.

This wasn't a conversation that he wanted to have. He wanted to leave this place and speak to the Primordial Sage in secret - who, it seemed, could no longer enter his illusory Sea of Consciousness like before. Yaan realised that this was due to his Sea of Consciousness - no, his entire being - becoming even more illusory than before. Even the Sage could not find a way in to this illusory mind of his. Because of this, she now knew that Yaan knew that she could no longer read his mind.

Yaan didn't want to speak to the Spirit Plane Lord, but it was unavoidable. He had done something too strange, and his current state was something that only he understood.

As Yaan sat down on a cushion, with a wooden table between himself and the two women, the mad elephant growled out with irate noises as it walked around the outside of the room, releasing its destructive aura, but not actually damaging anything thanks to the Spirit Plane Lord's powerful defences.

The Spirit Plane Lord glanced at the mad elephant, this monstrous beast born from Heavenly Tribulation, and sighed as she rubbed her forehead.

"Can't you do something about your pet, brother?" She asked him bitterly. It refused to sit still, and every now and then, it let out a roar that was deafening and quite distracting.

Yaan showed an apologetic smile and shook his head.

"Sorry, but I promised him that we would be going for a walk. I forgot that you two would naturally want to chat first."

The Spirit Plane Lord's eye twitched. So he was saying that this damned elephant would continue rampaging through her home until their conversation was over, and Yaan left with the elephant?

Seeing her expression, Yaan shrugged helplessly.

"I can't control him, it's not like I'm really his owner. The mad elephant decided on his own to follow me - I don't control his actions."

The Primordial Sage stared at Yaan, immediately understanding that he was trying to end this conversation as soon as possible. The Spirit Plane Lord also had her suspicions, but she didn't know Yaan as well as the Primordial Sage, and besides…this 'brother' of hers was continually changing, so she hadn't yet gotten a grasp over his newly awoken personality.

In fact, she didn't understand how he could even exist in a conscious state, given that he had clearly imparted the three portions of his dao heart and Dao Soul to the Dao Clones. She had believed that the so called 'main body' was merely a non-sentient core of his whole self, but now, she didn't know what to think…

"Well fine then." The Spirit Plane Lord ignored the elephant and looked at Yaan seriously. "Yaan, you slept for 350 years within the Spirit Palace; 35 years passed by in the outside world, meaning that each of your Dao Clones has now lived for 35 years now. I only know that brother- I mean, your Dao Clone of Soul, who most strongly resembles your former self, ascended to the Dao Immortal Realm before somehow crossing over to the Qi Plane via the karmic river…please, Yaan, explain to me…just what is going on with you?"

"I'm just following my dao path…this is a path which is unique to me, so it's understandable that you're feeling confused, sister." Yaan smiled gently, causing the Spirit Plane Lord to feel dazed.

She couldn't feel any sincerity in his smile, but neither could she feel any deception. This was very jarring for someone as strong as her, and made her feel like the red-robed child before her was very mysterious, almost like he didn't really exist. For a divinity to feel this way towards an immortal was just…

"No, before anything else, please explain this clearly - did you reach the Immortal Step with this main body of yours? It's strange…I can clearly feel that you have surpassed the Foundation Step, and you are below the Divine Step, and yet…"

She trailed off, waiting for Yaan to respond. He wasn't at all surprised by her question, and he had no problem with answering it truthfully.

"In my dao path, there is no 'Immortal Step'. In my dao path, there is only weakness, strength, and the transition between the two…and I am currently walking through that transition."

The Spirit Plane Lord furrowed her brows, but fortunately, the Primordial Sage filled in for her confusion.

"You're saying that you have achieved a step equivalent to the Immortal Step, following on from your dao path's Foundation Step, and prior to your dao path's Divine Step, but it is not truly the 'Immortal Step'…but the 'Transition Step'?"

"Well, more or less, yes." Yaan nodded.

He didn't care what others wanted to call it, it didn't matter to him. After all, this current state of his…was merely a transition, an essential connecting link between his former, broken self…and his future, complete self.

He was no longer a mortal, but he wasn't a divinity either. For others, this would make them an immortal…but Yaan could no longer be classified under the conventional cultivation system which was abided by all other living beings in this world.

But of course, just this answer alone wasn't enough to satisfy the Spirit Plane Lord's curiosity. The Primordial Sage was just as curious, but she mostly stayed quiet. Yaan guessed that she was acting this way because she knew that her sister would ask questions that would force Yaan to provide certain answers. Meanwhile, if she asked these questions in secret, he might not give her the same answer.

When Yaan saw that the Sage wasn't supporting him in his desire to quickly leave this place, he could only sigh in his mind and deal with this situation directly.

He would tell her the truth, so long as that truth wouldn't have any negative repercussions. There was no point in lying without reason, since every lie had a chance of being seen through, making it a risk. However, there were some things that he absolutely couldn't tell her…and some things that he also intended to keep hidden from the Sage.

"So then, what of your Dao Clones? What part are they now playing in your dao path? Sister tells me that your Dao Clone of Qi also reached the Immortal Step, that was what caused brother your Dao Clone of Soul to go mad and cross over to the Qi Plane using such a crazy method. And your Dao Clone of Mind…I hear that he has given up on reaching the Immortal Step…"

Yaan nodded as she spoke, and then answered her question with a vague partial-truth.

"Each Dao Clone is a part of myself, and a part of my dao path. As they continue to experience life, my dao continues to grow. Now that they have each discovered their own path, I was able to awaken, and now, I must walk a path of my own…"

Yaan's last sentence once again hinted that he wanted to leave this place - no, he needed to leave this place. He needed to leave the Spirit Plane Lord's protection, so that he could pursue his own dao…

Or so she assumed. Yaan certainly needed to leave, not to 'pursue dao', but to ensure his survival…because he knew that eventually, the Spirit Plane Lord would learn of the truth.

Now that the Primordial Devil had been made aware of his location and the Dao Clones' existences, they were already on the path leading towards this inevitable eventuality. Once she learned the truth behind what he was, she would definitely turn against him.

At that point, Yaan didn't know how the Primordial Sage would react, and how much help she would provide him, if any.

For now, the Spirit Plane Lord still didn't know about the Primordial Devil on the Blood Plane. She was powerful, but she was unable to leave the Spirit Plane, and even though she had tried to learn more about the goings on in the outside world by sending a select few of her subordinates to the Blood Plane and Qi Plane…those who had reported back had found nothing useful, whilst many others, had not reported back at all. This was very strange, and suggested that someone was getting in her way.

"Fine." She nodded. "But I also want to understand better, brother…this Transition Step of yours, what is it, exactly? Have you attained a named dao heart? Has your Mortal Life Essence become Immortal Life Essence? And what of that strange seal that was previously releasing a steady stream of Life Essence into your Dao Soul…?"

Yaan answered each of her questions clearly.

"My dao heart is not named, but neither is it a mortal dao heart; it is in a state of transition between weakness and strength, just like my Dao Soul and my cultivation as a whole. And as for my Life Essence…I no longer have a need for Life Essence. I still don't understand the seal that was hidden within my Dao Soul, but it seems that all of the Life Essence was expended during my recent enlightenment, and now, the seal has vanished. I have no Life Essence…but I am still existing in this illusory form. In essence, like any other Dao Immortal, I have gained eternal longevity, only via a different means." Yaan answered honestly, seeing no reason to hide any of this.

"I see…" The Spirit Plane Lord pondered for a moment, before asking her final series of questions:

"But what is your endgame here? I take it that this 'Transition Step' of yours is your journey towards the Divine Step…but how will you achieve this end? How long will this take? And what will happen to your Dao Clones at that point?"

Yaan had a very good answer for this question.

"I don't know. I am simply walking along my dao path…does anyone ever know exactly where they are heading, when walking along their path of dao?"

That was a lie. He knew the answers to all of these questions clearly. In fact, his path forwards had never been more clear in his life.

For the first time in his life, Yaan knew exactly what he needed to do.

For now, there was only one thought on his mind - survive.

There were too many threats looming over his head; if he didn't act accordingly, he was destined to meet a miserable end.

The Spirit Plane Lord, and her seemingly endless power on the Spirit Plane which could destroy him in an instant…

The Primordial Sage, whose motives were still dubious at best, and could likewise kill him at any moment that she so pleased…

And the Primordial Devil, whose very existence was Yaan's calamity. His battle against the Primordial Devil was inevitable, but as it stood right now, he could only lose - even if he somehow killed that devil, Yaan would also be destroyed due to the unique and powerful karma between them.

Despite this situation which would fill others with maddening despair, Yaan felt nothing towards the pressure that he was facing. He had a clear plan going forwards, and even though he knew that this plan had a very low chance of success, it was the path that he had chosen to take, ever since he took the first step by creating his three Dao Clones.

He had experienced despair too many times in his life, he had become numb to it.

He needed to survive. This was the prerequisite for his dao to reach completion.

He would survive this ordeal. He would not allow himself to die…

He wouldn't give up until he understood what it was that he wanted in this life. He could not die until he understood himself, his ambition, his purpose. He couldn't let it end this way, without understanding why it was that he existed, and why he had been made to suffer so desolately throughout his life.

No matter what, he would survive.