Wide Exploring by a Lady - part 4

"Yeah mom, I'm here," he said. I tried to read into his voice what he was thinking but I couldn't.

"Geez mom, I hear what you are saying. But I guess I have a different take on it," he explained. "I loved that we were able to talk like that to each other. I can't tell you how hot it was for me and how much I ca--, um, enjoyed it after we hung up."

"Honey, that's not what I'm saying..." I interrupted.

"I know mom," he said before I could go on. "I know it may seem weird for most mom and sons, but it seemed okay for us is all I am trying to say. I love you mom. And I want to be able to talk to you about anything, even if it is about sex. Who better to talk to when I have questions about things like that than your mom or dad?" he reasoned.

I knew he was rationalizing, at least somewhat, but he was also hitting a soft spot with me. Since his dad had left, it was just him and me. I knew that I was probably over-protective, but I also knew that I had to fill the role of both mom and dad in his life, since his own dad spent less and less time with him as the years went by.

"But honey," I said, trying to gain control of the conversation again, "it's one thing for us to talk about things like sex and masturbation, and it's another for us to listen to each other as we do it."

"Gosh mom, you were playing with yourself too?" he asked, obviously excited.

Uh oh, I thought. I knew that I had accidently confirmed what I thought he already knew. How was I going to get out of this? I quickly decided to try the clinical, honest approach.

"Well, yes," I offered, somewhat unsteadily. "Guys aren't the only ones that masturbate. We all do from time to time."

"See mom?" he said kind of laughing, "That's the kind of thing I am talking about. I know that everyone does it, but I guess I never actually thought that you did it too. I mean I guess I never thought of you in that way and it's kind of nice that now I know you weren't mad at me."

I could feel whatever upper hand that I was trying to achieve was quickly disappearing. But I also needed him to know that I loved him no Mathewser how I felt about what we had done just a few days before.

"Honey, I think you are missing what I am trying to say," I said. "Of course, I wasn't mad. And you know that there is nothing that you could do that would ever change my love for you. It's just that I thought the other night crossed some imaginary line in my mind that a mom shouldn't cross with her son. Does that make sense?"

There was silence on the other end of the line for what seemed like a long time – but it was probably only a few seconds.

"I guess," Mathews finally said. "But does that mean you don't want me to ask you about things I wonder about when it comes to sex?"

"No. Of course not," I said, trying to sound motherly. "You know that I will always be just a phone call away if you need me." And then, trying to lighten the mood, I laughed "But maybe you can try and keep your hands off yourself while we are talking."

Mathews laughed too. "Okay," he said. "I'll try."

We began to chat about his classes, his fraternity, and his friends. I filled him in on some of the neighborhood gossip and it felt like I had my friend back again. He was funny and charming. Before we hung up, he asked me if he could ask one more question about sex that he had been thinking about since our last conversation. I told him I would be glad to answer if I could.

"Well," he started, seeming as if he was searching for the right words, "now that I've told you that I like playing with your panties when I... well, you know..."

I smiled at his struggle to try to not cross over the line. "It's okay honey, you can say 'masturbate'," I laughed.

"Well, you said earlier that you were... um... masturbating too. I mean when we were talking the other night," he said. "Does that mean that it turned you on to think of me... you know... jerking off with your panties?"

Oh god, I thought. How do I answer this? If I said no, he would know I was lying. But if I said yes, well, that didn't seem like the kind of thing a mother should say to her son. So I tried to be evasive.

"I'll just say that you caught me at a vulnerable moment," I tried.

"Come on mom," Mathews begged. "Be honest."

I was stuck and didn't know what to say so I said nothing for a few seconds, trying to figure out how to answer.

Mathews filled in the silence. "If I told you that I was holding your panties right now and every now and then while we have been talking, that I had smelled them, would that make you... you know, 'vulnerable' again?"

Again, I could feel my nipples harden. And I squirmed in my chair. I didn't say anything, but I knew Mathews could hear my breathing quicken, despite my trying to control it.

"Do you think it's weird that I love to hold my own mom's panties to my face and smell them? And taste them?" he asked, his breathing more shallow now too. "Does that bother you mom? Knowing how much I love holding them while I am jerking off?"

I could only think of one thing to say. "No," I whispered.

"I'm glad mom," he breathed into the phone. "I want you to know how much I love holding them while we talk. It makes me feel closer to you, like you are sharing something very intimate with me."

Even though I knew it was wrong, I couldn't help my own body's reaction to hearing my son describe how my lingerie excited him. My hand involuntarily ran over my breast. I could feel how hard my nipples were through my t-shirt. Then my hand traveled down my stomach toward my shorts. I wanted to stop but couldn't help myself. I knew that he was masturbating with the panties that I had purposely put into his bag. I knew that the thought of him smelling my scent on them was the source of endless fantasies that I had been living with for weeks now. Hearing his voice while we both played out the fantasy in our heads did seem intimate... and even more powerful than when I was in bed alone at night.

"I'm... I'm glad that you feel that way, baby," I finally said. "If they make you feel closer to me, then I am glad that you have them. Maybe we better hang up now."

"Please don't hang up mom," he pleaded. "I want to talk to you... to hear you while I... while I jerk off."

"But baby, we just talked about this. I don't know if this is right," I tried, sounding unconvincing even to myself.

"Please mom, you know that what I am doing with your panties right now, don't you," he asked.

"Yes," I whispered, my hand unsnapping my shorts and taking the zipper down.

"Are you 'vulnerable' tonight mom?" he said in a low tone, speaking closely into the phone. "I want you to tell me this time. Are you touching yourself?"

My mind raced. I could picture him with his hard cock out, working his hand up and down, holding my panties around it. I wanted to hang up and end this conversation... but I couldn't. I was too turned on. My hand reached my pussy and it was on fire. My clit was hard and I rubbed my middle finger over it in a circle. I cradled the phone against my shoulder and with my other hand pulled on my nipple.

I answered slowly, suddenly finding it difficult to breathe. "Is that what you want? Do you want me to touch my pussy while you talk to me? While you... jerk off?"

I didn't know who this person was that was talking to her own son like this, but – at the moment – I didn't care. I was so wet that I knew it would only be moments before I would cum. And to make it even worse, I didn't even care if Mathews was going to hear me.

"Oh god," Mathews moaned. "Yes, I would love it if you were doing it with me mom. God, I am so hard thinking about you touching your pussy. Is it wet mom? Is it as wet as it was when you were wearing these panties?"

"Mmmm," I moaned. "Yes baby, mommy is wet. Very wet. And my clit is hard right now too. I could cum any time now. Do you want to hear mommy cum, baby? Would you like that?"