Mind in agony
"Good morning, angel face, how did you sleep?"
She was disoriented; she felt emptiness and sadness but couldn't figure out why.
Her eyes welled up with tears.
"Are you okay, Lilah?" Kim inquired, concerned by her sudden sadness. You must have had a terrible nightmare." He drew her into his embrace.
"What were you dreaming about?"
"There was a man who was sad. I know I need to help him, but I can't remember how or why. "How come I can't remember?"
"Shh, relax my love, you are safe," Kim said as he kissed her forehead and tightened his embrace.
"Wait here, my love, I'll run you a warm bath," he wiped her tears and held her face.
He entered the restroom. She was devastated and hurt, but she couldn't tell exactly why.
She shook her head in frustration, but she forced herself to smile because she had company. She couldn't afford to lose it in front of Kim. She didn't want to scare him away because things between them were going so well.
"Your bath is ready angel face," Kim said, coming out of the bathroom. Delilah appeared in a much better mood which made him confused. Delilah was a mystery to him, she was strange in every way, and just when he thought he had her figured out, she surprised him.
"Your mood seems much improved in the minutes I've been gone," asked Kim as he sat on the bed beside her.
"I'm so sorry I'm so weird, but I'm ok" Delilah replied with a smile.
He looked at her not believing she was ok; he knew something troubled her deeply.
"Tell me did my lovemaking last night displease you?"
"Kim, no, it was amazing and absolutely fantastic." She touched his face gently and smiled at him.
"I'll go hop in the bath now and join you for breakfast in a bit."
As he watched her stand up and walk into the bathroom, he smiled. His gaze followed the symbols down her spine, wanting to know more. He was concerned about her blackouts and the tattoo she couldn't explain. But, given her mood, he didn't want to press her for more information today. He entered the living room, giving her the entire space to herself.
Delilah sat in the bathtub, her entire body submerged in water. She tried but failed to recall her dream. She couldn't relax because she was so frustrated. She was so frustrated because she had all these gaps in her mind and heart, questions with no answers.
She got dressed and joined Kim in the living room for breakfast, where they had the leftovers from the previous night. Before he left, he invited her to his award ceremony, where he was being recognized by the city of New Orleans for his law firm and his extraordinary work as a lawyer.
Delilah was excited, but she had nothing to wear, so she called her friend Joyce to go shopping.
*While at the mall,*
"So, tell me about this man who occupies your every waking minute," Joyce said as she rolled her eyes jokingly.
"Come on J, don't be jealous,"
"So, when do I meet him?"
"Soon, to be honest I'm still trying to figure out my feelings for him."
"Uh oh, that doesn't sound good Lilah, still figuring out your feelings. Didn't this man confess his undying love to you. He even invited you to this fancy award ceremony. You know what that means right? He wants you as his woman and wants to present you to the world as his."
"Ugh I know J, and I feel like shit, I was so sure of my feelings but recently something inside of me has changed."
"How so?"
"Ok, you are going to think I'm crazy but, some nights I dream about a man, he is very handsome. I don't remember what the dreams are about but I wake up feeling so sad. And the feelings I feel for this man are that of love, the kind I have never felt. It feels like I have known him forever. I know it's crazy."
"You do sound crazy, I'm not going to lie. You are in love with a man who only lives in your dreams and you pick him over Kim who is an incredible living breathing man who is in love with you."
"I knew you were going to react this way which is why I haven't mentioned anything about this."
"Dela listen to me, Kim Dae-Jung is real, Kim loves you, and if you don't get it together quickly you will lose him."
"I know Kim is amazing in every way, the sex is amazing, and he is caring, handsome and successful. On paper he is everything but something is missing I just don't know what."
"And you think you can get whatever is missing from the strange man in your dreams? Girl listen to me, you have an amazing man, if it isn't broken don't fix it. Stop searching for imperfections where there are none. From all I've heard, this man is heaven-sent. Soulmate material."
"That's true, and also, I found out Felicia is in love with Kim."
"What? She told you that?"
"Not exactly, it was a couple of weeks ago, the gang came over to visit and Clint kinda outed her. It was very weird and tense, I mean I knew she was attracted to him, but so are a lot of women. I didn't release how deep her feelings for him are. She didn't tell me directly and I haven't had the chance to talk to her given everything that's been happening."
"Lilah, to be honest, I can't even be mad at Felicia, from all I have heard, Kim must be an amazing man. Get out of your dreams and back into reality or you will lose him, if not to Felicia then to another woman who will appreciate him."
"You are right, thank you J."
Delilah didn't want to continue the conversation because she believed Joyce couldn't understand, and that no one could. It was difficult to explain her mind and heart as a carousel of confusion. But she was aware that Joyce was correct. She had no reason to stop dating, Kim.
Joyce and Delilah visited several boutiques and tried on numerous dresses. They went to get cocktails after Delilah found her dress for Kim's event, then went home.