Chapter 7 Training Part 2

"The Tao or The Way is for our explanation today, is School of thought that teaches how to understand 'nature' and use 'nature' to our advantage."

  After Celestine introduced the basic Finish, she started to explain to me about aura and Taoism.

"The nature that Taoism refers to is the principle of the world or how the world is working. For example, The Tao teaches that we should always follow the way the work is and not try to fight it. And not only that, but Tao teaches how to cultivate an inner self. The inner self."

  She then started to take a meditation position, and while closing her eyes she asked me to take a meditation pose. After a take meditation pose, she continued to explain.

"The Inner self for our purpose today will be referred to as the 'Root', the 'Root' Is referred to as the Origin of oneself. Now, I want you to close your eyes and think about who you are. It doesn't need to be deep just think about what are you going to get, doesn't need to be about something that is 'grandiose', if even your goal is money, fame, etc. Is no problem at all."

After hearing what she said, I closed my eyes and started to remember the reason I came to this place. Is to find the meaning of my suffering.

"Then, I believe you have found your purpose. Now, I wanna you ask yourself the reason for that purpose."

  I then remember my grandpa and my parents' faces, the words they usually said to me went I had done my best but still lost. Maybe my loss has a purpose, and that purpose will help me next time. 'I feel Sorry for that family, to have such a cursed child.'  'Did you hear the family that has been moved in, I hear their child is cursed.''I hear that child is cursed by my parent.''My parent said I shouldn't go near him he is cursed.'

'I heard that old man in room 7 was dead because of his cursed grandchild.'

  It was in the hospital after my grandpa died thanks to his illness, I could hear people say that thanks to me, my family became cursed. I told my parent about this, and they then hugged me and started to apologize while crying. I hugged them back and said that I truly loved them while crying and in their embrace, they said... that they were truly happy... that 'I' was their child.

  After that, I started learning many things and training my body, then I started to join many tournaments. some win, while others times lose. but even when I lose I just stand up again while saying, 'Well looks like I'm lost.' after saying that stand up and start training and learning again. do you think loss is cool, no is never cool. when you lose you suffer while the winner bask in the glory of winning, but even so what? will it change just because I cried? will it change just because I understood and did nothing? Will it change if I try harder? nope, it will never change no matter what you do. just because you know it and train harder to win next time, will not change the fact that you lose. it was a simple fact really, if you lose you lose there is no meaning to it.

  and yet those stupid parents, just smile and say that my loss this time will become my win next time. did they not understand, that if you lose you just lose and it is painful? when you try everything that you can to win, when you train harder than anyone, and when you want to win so bad than everyone. when you lose it all, is painful. hope can become depression just simply lost. because, of that I started to never hope to win, it is just painful to hope after losing... and yet here I am working to find the purpose of my loss, maybe... the truth is I am scared that my life is meaningless... I want to prove that my parents and grandpa were correct in trusting in me.

  after confirming my reason I open my eyes, and our eyes meet one another.

"Now I want you to close your eyes again, and try to strengthen your resolve."

  then I start to close my eyes, I try to strengthen my resolve and try to hold on to it... suddenly, I felt my body start to warm up... I could suddenly feel the power in my body.

"Now open your eyes."

  the warm feeling that I feel, is now gone when I open my eyes. I couldn't control my confusion, 'Was the feeling that I felt just some sort of placebo.'

"If you think is a placebo effect you were wrong, you see all living beings in truth have a superpower that is sleeping inside them. some need many years to wake that power up, and some have that awakened when they were young, while others, just like you, could wake them up in a matter of minutes through status window help."

  while hearing her explaining, I concluded that through the status window, I had awakened (Maybe?) to my root.

"you see awaken was just another concept, that means you have awakened to understand your inner self(Or Root). and now you could feel the energy around you, also known as Ether."

  after she told me that, I could feel that it seemed that there was some kind of energy around me.

"you see ether was this substance that is all over the place, it could be said that ether was something that made atoms stay together to create some sort of form. all living things have ether inside them, but their ether has been giving a 'meaning' so it could have lived in them."

  to put it bluntly, ether was this fundamental intangible energy that made this world that we know. and when that ether becomes one and is given a 'meaning' or purpose it will become a soul.

"well, your description was right about ether."

'what are you reading my mind?!'

"yes, I read your mind. now let's continue my explanation."

  She said that without giving a single look at me, 'she truly doesn't care about other feelings.'

"When someone that waken to their root, they could control their flow of mana or ether inside their body. this was what made the difference between magicians and normal people, magician could control their flow of mana and use it while normal people couldn't do it. and yet the usage of mana will be different between some schools, for example, the Western school or the circle user, uses mana as transportation from which outside ether would come to the body and will be processed by the heart to become mana and used to control outside ether. and eastern school or aura users use the energy from lower dantian and circulate through the body of the user and is used as aura. Sometimes there are outliers that could use both aura and mana. but for right now we should learn how to manipulate an aura."

"Manipulating aura would be easier because you just need to control your aura circulation. to manipulate that circulation of aura, try to open all your aura veins."

  after that, she gives an example of how to open your aura veins. after learning it, I tried it.

and then... suddenly I coughing up blood.

"Now, now calm down... *wipe out the blood from Chandra* you just having your veins explode because of your veins that suddenly being open."

After saying that, she started to heal me through magic... after calming my heart was like to explode I tried again.

and then it failed again. and I tried again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again... is like that many hours, have passed and yet I couldn't manipulate my aura. Celestine looks like she has given up, and told me to rest.

  What she said is true, there is no meaning in trying again. After all the result was known, there was no need to bet... and yet I didn't wanna stop, after remembering my parents and grandpa. I know that trying again will be nothing but stupidity, after all, Celestine had given me her back. but I couldn't stop now, if I wanted my career to be good, I needed to get Celestine's trust. and to get her trust I must showcase that she could trust me, because of that I couldn't give out now.

  each time I failed I noted the reason why I failed. I start to circulate each vein, from the first one to the last vein that has been broken.

"you should stop now, try again and what you doing is nothing but stupidity."

  I know that I can't stop right now, looks like after saying that she started to see me. while silently evaluating me, she starts to take note of my condition.

  ...after several hours of trying to take the right circulation method of my veins, through several failed attempts... I succeed... I could see her trying to congratulate me, her expression was still stiff but her eyes were looking at me with the eyes tht full of suprise... thank god, during my failures I started to take note of the reason why my veins exploded... now I could close my eyes... then Chandra closes her eyes because his body has been so rag and broken trough several hours of learning and try to understand his own veins.