Chinese Kiln

A kiln is still a kiln, but the potters have all gone!

50 kilometers to the far southwest of Nova Solis, a weird-looking Chinese kiln standing on the hillside awaits its firing debut . 38-year-old Chinese man Guang and his young apprentice 21-year-old Lin had just heaved a fully loaded wheel barrow of newly-crafted clay molds to the front door of the kiln, of what was dubbed the "Dragon's head" in its long tradition. Though now,with a little efforts of reinvention and necessary reinforcement, from where they stand, the whole kiln looks like a massive house cat lying prone on a stairway, drawing its claws and opening its mouth wide.

"I have to say I really admire your vision, Shi Fu!what a shrewd idea to carry on our old business here,the most humble-looking mountain on west end,and free from the tumult of the city, the nagging neighbors, and the stupid law against us " said Lin merrily

"Well Dalin, and free from the massive efforts on logging" Guang added

"And now we are finally marching on the right path; the finest, the cleanest, and most efficient pottery production ever in human history" he remarked ebulliently as he carried down one of the molds from the barrow with his arms

"Can you imagine, Shifu, 2 years ago we still need... let me count....Wang the idle scrounger....Fang the old fart.....thicko Zhang, and.... fatso Zhang, yes! the two brothers! Lee the old rascal, Liu the milksop, Bao the banana breath, and.... Jack the Dwarf ,what was his real name again?"

"That's Giant Jake, nobody knows his real name" shook Guang,then he carried down another same-looking mold from the barrow

"Yes, Giant Jake, that's eight of them,and Yao the lubber,Dan the triangle eyed,and...borrow me a finger!"

"It is not Dan but Shan, that's a polyphony, you illiterate country Egypt !"

Barked Guang at Lin and his poor hand went "Slap!!".

"Ouch!" cried Lin

"No more maths and get these two new shapes inside, for Bog's sake!"

Lin wasn't even close to a fast-learner, in fact, it took him almost three years to barely command the the very basics; on one hand, the number of brain cells he had can hardly surmount that of shard piles back of the slip tanks, of what are all his masterpieces but "broken pieces" to his master; on the other hand, his sheer innocence is mostly-praised by his master and his sieve-like mind is exactly what he wanted to mold, and he always tell Lin that only an empty mind can bear a big dream.

Back to Lin, he meticulously uncovered one of the two molds on the ground, about whose shape he had been wondering since he saw his Shi Fu shaping its parts the past few days on his wheel, and now he can finally see them coming together.

A knelt and half-naked young female with an incredibly big mouth wonderfully startled him, and from the contour of the other mold he could tell that these two were paired, for besides their heights,they were nowise different.

"Who on earth is going to pay for this muck!? the woman looks really awful and ugly! Excuse my language Shi Fu, but it's just ...sort of...you know.....ungainly" he said timidly

Guang came in front of that mold, embrace his purlicues above his pants zip, whistling, and pretended to piss into that mouth. "You Egypt knows absolutely nothing about aesthetics and erotism! This is quite a manifestation of how abuse kicks downwards;and the buyer, i don't really wanna talk about them , but since you asked, they are....by some freakish mischance... some of our old pals" a sour smile cracked on his side cheek

"what sort of chap would like to a urine pot like that,who are they? fill me in!" Lin's little brain is full of wonder.

"The notorious Zhang Brother, the thick Zhang and the fat Zhang" Guang said dispiritedly.

"Well, that's a novelty, rumor says that they have made quite a fortune in sports business, and last month they even managed to broke that Jim Rotten" said Lin wearing a frown, looked quite puzzled

"I always wondered where exactly you have been schooling, is it the Cretinous Berky Rightingbedonnerd or the Excrement plastered gobblyishtook it's they managed to "broker" that Jim Rotten,you imbecile!"

"i guess it's gobbledegook,Shifu,never mind,maybe i am wrong,but after all it's just rumor isn't it ;as far as i can see, they couldn't even afford a proper toilet!" said Lin with a self-assuring smile.

"oh...dear.....bog, Da Lin. To reason with you made most dreaded devil lose its tush"Guang looked desperate.

2 hours later , the potter and his apprentice had put all the clay molds and unglazed ceramics into each room all the way up the steep slopes and concealed the front door with concrete and bricks.The rooms were built next to each other with ports and holes that allows the fire to burn evenly in each room without being de-airred,and the steep slopes rendered the fire ever stronger from bottom to top.

"Now we just have to wait while it is cooling, Da Lin, give me a bifter" said Guang.

"Cooling? But it's not even fired up,where comes the cooling?" questions stuffed Lin's peanut brain, and he handed him a cigarette.

"If i say there will be fire, and there will be fire indeed" emphasized Guang with a knowing smile as he took a big puff.

"Shifu, when you said the logging is over, i thought we had already enough of woods and charcoal,but now i can't see any of them, nor can I fathom out how it is possible that just the two of us to keep this kiln running"

"Well,Da Lin,let's call it the masterpiece of the great nature, don't you have the slightest idea why I built this dragon kiln on a live volcano with my blistered hands, according to my experiment and my most accurate calculation,by 8 o'clock tomorrow morning, a rather ferocious eruption shall happen,carrying its lava all the way down and pass our kiln like a hot knife through the butter.However, by certain genius design and the help of some incomprehensible technologies i set up in this kiln beforehand, it would be just eligible to work wonder without jeopardizing our precious works" said Guang with clear articulation and a mellow tone while gradually entering a trance state at the effect of that marijuana cigarette;his utterance however marked a large disbelief on Lin's face.

"Well in that case, i suppose i should just pack my stuff and run for life!"exclaimed Lin his eyes are rounded

" I am afraid you are right,Da Lin, we should leave this place tonight and come back in two days,well, i suppose I should prepare myself too and then take a short trip to downtown Nova" Guang said

"Can i come with you Shifu? after all it's gonna be my birthday tomorrow,i'd like to spend it a little distinguishedly, some gambling maybe, you know,with a little what they called beginner's luck, and then get drunk in a bar, having a girl to talk to.....and maybe.... some beginner's luck in that too "murmured Lin with a woolgathering face

"Beginner's luck my ass! well, just ask your yourself, Dalin, have you got any beginner's luck in your pottery making career? That pair of dainty pinkies have smashed 350 fine unglazed ceramics, created 227 gargoyle-like nonsense on my holy wheel,and....i don't want to bring this up, single-handed murdered the poor Giant Jake callously!" admonished Guang with a serious look on his face.

"what?....when?...where?....why? Wait a minute, Giant Jake is dead? You told me he went to the country and got married, do tell! Shifu,i am on tenterhook" a mixed feeling of innocence and integrity rose upon his cheat,as if someone else had killed Giant Jake and he were suddenly made the detective of this ghastly crime.

" I'll tell you what happened....."

.............

"oh my Bosh!you mean he stumbled into a giant jar and I burned him to death? What crime i've done, i am guilty man! guilty as that Flash Raymond who bombed all the factories and stuffs" cried Lin hysterically.

"what nonsense you are talking about?!Flash Raymond is not a criminal but a true hero, and you Da Lin, your are guilty of nothing but being simply a moronic no-hoper, do you know how much i paid for his widow and his family and how i cunningly covered all this up as a mere accident? if it were not for your admirable father,i would have chucked you out long ago..forgive me being a little sharp, but good words and attitudes are obviously in no state to help you. Now why don't we forget the unpleasant past and call it the day" such was remarked by Guang as he locked the folding gate of the warehouse, leaving Lin outside the door scratching his head.

As the potter went down the stairs and into the front garden,he found his newly-hired doorman, a thirtyish guy who has back spine of a prawn and a nose like a strawberry, hammering on a traditional Chinese gate. Then he saw a wooden plague above him, which reads " Lava Hot Spring Resort"

"What the hell is this,i told you to put up a false front not a real one! " he barked as he saw the man's bewildered face

"what?! are you kidding me sir, i've just came" he had such a charming voice

The potter brought up a smile with an effort and said calmly

"now you can go home, O'Yang,let's just call it a short holiday"