Breakfast Breaks Hearts

At least we know family meals cannot get worse. The silence hangs like a thick fog over the heavily laden table. Gnomes are big on food, this is a fact, meals are often treated like special events. This breakfast is no different, the cooks had prepared the usual porrages, cured meats, cheeses, breads, fruit pies, nuts and fresh cut fruit. Ezra and dad are both munching away at the breakfast treats while mom is doing her best to eat as little as Serephina, who has so far eaten a few nuts and a small piece of cheese and is now picking at a few berries. Arrow is trying to match the king in eating style but our food customs are wildly different, nymphs don't have set meals, they rather tend to simply snack throughout the day while gnomes have big breakfasts and dinners. Arrow picks at a chunk of ham with a knife and fork, my dad furrows his brow at this and shows the boy to pick the meat up with his hands. Serephina glares at her son as he follows my father's lead, her glare could potentially cut diamonds it is so sharp. Arrow seems to not notice his mother. Grandma Celeste sits quietly spooning her porridge slowly while watching the breakfast hostility unfold. The roll I had picked up a while ago lays in a pile of shreds, I haven't had much of an appetite since my birthday ball.

"I was hoping to return to Slesouport today. As we have a kingdom to rule, and a wedding to prepare for." The word 'wedding' sounds like a something to be dreaded coming from Serephina's lips.

"Fine, fine." My father doesn't even bother to swallow before replying to the Queen. He never showed her the same respect he had for king Santiago or even Arrow. I am now aware this might be because he suspects she had a hand in my aunt's death.

"Your highness, I beg of you please postpone your travels by a few hours. I would love to get your input on Celine's dress. As I am sure you would like some nymph traditions upheld in this respect as well?" Queen Lisbeth asks. Arrow nods at his mother as if to ensure she agrees.

"Fine. I will wait."

"Perfect!" my mother's attempt at impressing the queen forgotten as she excitedly fills her plate with actual food and sends for the tailor to meet with us after breakfast.

"I assume you would like to uphold the gnome tradition of being wed under the full moon?" Serephina sounds bored as she sips from her goblet.

"Of course we do." My grandmother speaks for the first time all morning, drawing everyone's attention with the coldness in her voice.

"Hmm, may I then suggest the next full moon as a date? It is senseless to draw this thing out longer than it needs to be. My son needs a queen by his side to be seen as fit to rule and I intend to see that it is done soon." She leans back in her chair seeming entirely uninterested.

"That suits. We will join you in Slesouport two days prior to the full moon, if that is appropriate?" my father seems less cool towards Seriphina while the wedding is being discussed.

The nymph queen simply hums in agreement. And so the date is set. In less than 4 weeks I will be Arrow's wife. I will be queen of a kingdom who hates me. I will be living two days journey away from everything I love. The air seems too thin and I hear my heartbeat echoing in my head, getting louder, with every beat.

"Excuse me." I practically run from the dining room, without any grace.

My mom hands me a soft handkerchief to wipe my mouth after I emptied my stomach into some poor potted plant.

"I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't have run away but I would rather not have gotten sick at the table." I slide down to the ground and put my face in my hands, I have never been this embarrassed especially not in front of my mother.

"Hey, it's alright. It's alright to be nervous." She sits down next to me, rubbing soothing circles into my back. "I remember how nervous I got before I married your father. His proposal was anything but traditional. We fought together in the second war you see, and one morning in the middle of a particularly horrid battle he pulled me close and said if 'we live through this I swear I'm going to marry you, woman.' and we did. And then he went to my brother, as my parents had both died of the pox, and asked for my hand in marriage and a few months later I was standing on a balcony in this castle, throwing up into a potted plant because I realised that I was simply a miner's daughter, I had no idea how to rule an entire kingdom. I almost ran away, but then your aunt found me. She laughed at me, she had fought with us, although she spent more time with the wounded as your grandfather believed her to be too young to actually fight, so she had seen me face pirates with the nymphs and she could not believe that I was so afraid. She made me realise that I was being ridiculous for being afraid of something as simple as being queen when I had bled for the people I am to rule. And I know that it is not the same, the people of Slesouport are not your kin, you have not fought for them but see this as fighting for your people. If you are the queen of the nymphs they have no choice but to respect the gnomes. And the other way around as well. The road from Hillhook to Whitetoads will no longer be stained with the blood of either side of the border." I am surprised, my mother shows no weakness. I used to believe she didn't have any, that is till this tale of a shared fear of ours.

"It's not only that. You love dad. And he loves you. And grandma Celeste loves you so I can only imagine king Elias and aunt Luna did too. I don't have that reassurance. I feel nothing romantic towards Arrow and I am sure he feels nothing for me and I'd have to check my bed for scorpions with her as a mother in law. Don't I deserve to marry someone I love? Don't I deserve a story as sweet and beautiful as you and dad have?" she wipes the tears staining my cheeks with her sleeve.

"Of course you do, my love. And it breaks my heart to have to force you to do this. It is every mothers dream to see her daughter get married, happily. But we do not have that luxury. If you don't marry prince Arrow, more people will die. There might even be another war and we cannot afford that. Our people deserve peace. And as a queen it is your responsibly to ensure that." Tears dance around the edge of my mother's soft brown eyes, but she blinks them away quickly and kisses my hands and forehead.

"Come on, the tailor should be here by now and this bit should be exciting." She hops up with agility many people would give up their first born to have, and holds out her hand to me with a wink punctuating her sentence.