2. A New Beginning

I met Mr. Barnaby right away, when I decided to call him after my meeting with Archie. Turned out Archie had already called him first. I was starting to fall for this laid-back coastal living now.

"Ms. Henderson." He greeted me as we met on the front porch of the cottage.

"Please, call me Marissa." I held out my hand to shake, as I greet him back.

"Call me Daniel then." He smiled warmly at me.

"Come, I'll show you the cottage. It's rarely used. So I'm sorry if it's a bit sore in the eye. But the insides are perfect. You got one bed room, one bathroom, washer dryer, fully functioning kitchen and a living room with and old television. I don't know if you young kids still watch those. My son is constantly on his laptop." He looked at me wondering.

"I will Daniel, I'm just grateful that I will have a roof over my head for the next few months. You give me a very good deal." I grinned at him.

Archie was right. The cottage was in perfect condition. It just needed a paint job, which I would not worry about for now.

"Nah, you young lady, was the one that keep on pushing me to lower down my price. You surely know how to make a good bargain there. Looking at you, I'm ashamed to be beaten by a teenager. My wife will surely laughed at me." He laughed and made me feel welcome.

I settled the payment with him for the next three months. He already prepared me his receipt for the amount that we discussed earlier. I thanked him as he left me to settle in.

Then I checked my phone, still nothing from dad. I decided to call the storage unit and have them deliver my stuff by today. I also had arranged this earlier, making sure that they have delivery service. The unit was quite close by, so they would be here in a couple of hours. I didn't have a lot of stuff, so I should finished unpacking by tonight.

Putting my backpack down in my bedroom, I got my wallet and laptop out and set it aside. I decided to go to the grocery store and started stocking up on the essentials. I went to the kitchen and check out if there were any kitchen wares, I needed to know what to buy and made a list.

Thankfully I was set with plates, glasses, and all the works, even got some pots and pans and a small water heater. I could make coffee or tea.

Fifteen minutes later, I set out to the grocery store. I decided to cook my own lunch and started saving money again. It would be awhile before I got my first salary.

I headed back to the cottage with both hands full of groceries. But at least I was done with the household things, and I could start doing laundry tomorrow morning if wanted to.

Moments later I was sitting alone and having my lunch at small dinning table for two. I started opening my Kindle and start reading my favourite romance novel. Time passed by I didn't realise that it was getting dark already, until I heard a knocked at the door.

The storage guy dropped off my boxes in the living room. It was not that much, it filled half of my small living room. Minutes later I started unboxing them. I took a dinner break, then continued on unpacking and arranging my stuff around the cottage. I was finally done by nine in the evening.

It finally looked like my own place now, I smiled proudly at myself. I made it, I got out of the house. I was living my own life. But suddenly my tears falls freely, I was crying and sobbing so hard my body was shaking.

I was holding our family photo, I was fourteen in that picture. That was the last family picture of our holiday that we took. We always had a grand adventure holiday every year. That year we went to Africa. It was beautiful, our hotel had giraffes visited us while we were having our breakfast. In the photo my father was smiling wide as the giraffe licked my face, mom was shocked, but laughing, and looking worried at the same time.

I missed my mom, I missed my dad, I missed our old family.

I fell asleep holding the picture.

My alarm woke me up at six the next morning, I woke up and went to the bathroom. Then I made my self a coffee, and I put it in my favourite tumbler.

I went outside putting on my oversized jacket and my pajamas bottom. I was taking in the sea air while loving the coastal view. I was checking my messages, when I saw an email from dad.

Marissa,

This is not what I expected from you. Running away is not the solution. But if your mind is set. know this, I am not supporting your life choice. You have to make it on your own out there. I taught you better then this. I'm truly disappointed in you Marissa.

Just get back when you're done running.

Dad.

I felt so cold. My heart shattered for him, every time. I couldn't even count any more. I wished, I could easily gave up and gone away with mom. But I didn't even have the courage to do so. Cause deep down I knew it would break him if he lose me too.

But every time he did this to me I break. My tears fell freely in the morning air, it was still quite dark the air was soothingly cold just like my heart. I sipped my coffee and walked to the shore. The beach was deserted, no one was there. I decided to dipped my feet in the water.

I put my tumbler and phone down, took off my slippers and jacket off, and walked into the water. It was cold, but my hot tears still falls freely, I was too sad to feel the coldness. I wiped my tears roughly, kept on walking to the water and let the coldness soaked my pants.

I embraced my self as I shuddered crying and sobbing. How could my life be like this. I was happy, we were happy. I kept on walking as the wave took me further from the shore. I started feeling the coldness as my body was trembling. Letting the coldness in, I was feeling the emptiness that had been lingering for years now.

Feeling like an empty shell, I stood on the ocean floor as the small wave rocked my body. I was taking a step further to the ocean. Maybe I could do this after all. Maybe it was easier to end my life anyway. I was nothing in this big bad world. I think I saw enough, and I was not impressed. I was good to die and leave this world.

Maybe my dad would be happy with his new family. He seemed happy, he never did take my side. I was good, I could definitely leave now. I walked further until the wave reached my chest. I was crying and sobbing hard, I needed to do this. I needed to end this. This was fucking too much for me. I was still too young for this much pain.

I was good. I was definitely good to go.