Incompetent Glee

In a pavilion situated in a beautifully arranged garden with various beautiful flowers arranged in the Lei manor, a young girl stood dressed in simple white robes with her hair tied loosely behind her.

She was facing the little pond, dropping some bits of a bun into the pond and absently watching the fish inside scrambling for the food. After the bun was finished and fish vanished from the surface of the pond, she sighed and looked at the clear blue sky.

{....It's been about a week since I died and came here...I'm not even sure where "here" is, it seems to be ancient China, as to where exactly I have no clue...I suck at history, my knowledge base is limited to dramas and novels and little bits and pieces I researched on when something from those piqued my interest...but I definitely didn't bother to retain the knowledge so....

...I apparently transmigrated into the body of the defense minister's 17-year-old daughter, that's not too bad I guess...at least I didn't end up in some beggar on the street, I wouldn't be able to fend for myself at all if that happened...

...There's a mother, a brother named Lei Yong, who I think is 22 and is a general in the army and a 14-year-old little sister called Lei XiaoTing, she is quite adorable and honestly a little annoying, she's a crybaby -_-)'...I never had a little sister or a sister at all, can't say I wanted one but I guess it is a new experience...

...They seem to be a very loving family and I feel somewhat awkward with it all, I guess that's to be expected as I'm not great with strangers...

..Oddly enough, she also had the same name as me, well I guess the name isn't exactly unique, but what are the odds though...maybe this is some sort of an alternate reality or parallel world...no can't be, she doesn't look like me, and the family members are different people as well so it's not...}

Other than the time when she had just woken up, she had been careful not to let anything slip about her past life or give any hint that she wasn't their daughter. She used the excuse of being muddleheaded from the near-death experience and even mentioned slight memory loss to explain away her oddities.

The Lei family easily bought the explanation and wrote off whatever weirdness she exhibited to be due to the "near-death experience" and subsequent memory loss. Surprisingly, it was much easier than expected... this Lei family seemed a bit naive maybe? It shouldn't be this easy. 

Lei Xing, for the most part, kept to herself and luckily everyone seemed to give her own space as well. It seemed this Young miss was normally not a sociable individual to begin with, even with her own family. So when Lei Xing asked for space to recoup, it was easily given. It seemed their personalities matched quite a bit as well... It was surprisingly not difficult slipping into someone's else life like this. 

Still, Lei Xing was careful and always reminded herself not to get too comfortable to avoid trouble. 

  "jiejie!" Xiao Ting screamed as she tapped Lei Xing's shoulder.

"What are you screaming for? my ears are highly functional, you know." Lei Xing said, a bit irritated as she massaged her ear, and here came one of her troubles. While everybody else seemed to respect her space and request for solitude, this new little sister was the only one who never seemed to get the message and seemed to flutter back all the time. 

"I have been calling you for a while, but you weren't responding... I thought something was wrong...sorry, I didn't..." Xiao Ting murmured under her breath apologetically, with tears starting to gather in her eyes

"It's okay, it's okay. I'm still alive." Hearing this Xiao Ting immediately brightened up and smiled and hugged Lei Xing's arm.

{...Don't you think you recovered too fast? -_-')...}

  "Jiejie, so what do you think?"

"About what?"

"About becoming empress?"

"Why would I care about that?"

"You don't? But didn't you like the emperor? The Emperor is handsome, brave, loyal and brilliant, and there is no one better than him." Xiao Ting's eyes gleamed as she praised the Emperor.

{...*sigh* A classic idiot wanting to jump into troubled waters...}

  "It seems that you are the one who likes him..." Lei Xing said with a smirk, watching the array of emotions flick across XiaoTing's face was an entertaining sight.

She went from starry-eyed to shock, then embarrassment, and finally an aggrieved expression with tears ready to spill.

{...Tears again? -_-)...}

  "Jiejie, don't make fun of me, how can you and I share the same husband?" Xiao Ting said with a pout.

"It's okay, the eEmperor is to be shared with many." Lei Xing said with a delighted smile on her face. Teasing this younger sister was one of the only things she enjoyed lately.

"...even then...it's not right...I...I...I" XiaoTing confused, stuttered trying to think of what to say.

"It's okay, I'm just playing with you...You can have him, I'm not interested."

"Ah? but you already on the selected list of candidates for concubines...Jiejie will definitely get selected, how can you say you are not interested?"

  Lei Xing's eyes widened in shock.

{...What? Since when? No, No...the palace is the worst place to be in ancient stories, I am not interested in dealing with scheming women or vying for some asshole's attention...I'M NOT GOING!!...}

  "What do you mean?!"

"Ah, jiejie you must have forgotten, the competition begins in a few days."

"Competition?"

"Yes for the concubine selection."

"I've never heard of it being a competition before..."

{...I don't think I've seen that anywhere before...wasn't the main point of concubines political connections... if it's competition-based how can they ensure the intended targets win...it's probably rigged anyway, and is just a show - Wait, as the defense minister's daughter, as long as I show up, won't I be chosen?!...

...maybe I should fake an illness on the day, but considering how worried this family gets, they could summon an imperial physician and I'm not sure if I could fool them...

...Also, because of this concubine thing, the royal family may be notified, if it is somehow discovered that I faked an illness, won't it be considered lying to royalty? Won't it be considered a crime?...and I couldn't exactly ask this family to cooperate with me on the "illness" because of the reasons I just mentioned...so...

...Maybe I should run away, but where do I go? The world out there is a dangerous place and even more dangerous during this time period, especially for a woman. I know nowhere outside the walls of this compound, even if I could gather money and valuables from the house to pawn to finance my escape...

...But what about life after the escape? How do I live? I don't even know how to start a fire to keep myself warm! And journeying from city to city will take days!...Frankly, I lack the idiot's courage necessary to run away...so...}

  "XiaoTing ah, since you like the emperor so much, jiejie is willing to give you her position to help you fulfill your dream as a good elder sister..." Lei Xing held XiaoTing's hand lovingly as she smiled at her sweetly. This was the solution.

"Ah?! Jiejie but I am not old enough to marry, plus jiejie has to marry first before me." Xiao Ting explained with a panicked expression.

{...Ah, that's right, she's just 14...what was I thinking? Even if I want to save myself, how can I attempt to throw her under the bus? Not good, she will get torn to pieces in the palace. I'm not a saint, though, and I never try to be one either...who knows, she could grow from it and emerge as a scheming viper as well - stop it, can't do it anyway...}

  Lei Xing frowned and turned, and walked away from the pavilion with determination, with Xiao Ting running after her.

"Jiejie, are you okay? where are you going?" Xiao Ting asked as she walked beside Lei Xing.

"To speak to father..."

"Jiejie, are you serious about not wanting to enter the palace?"

"Do I seem like I am joking?"

  "Jiejie, wait, let's talk about it a bit..." Xiao Ting grabbed Lei Xing's arm, stopping her movement.

Lei Xing let out an irritated breath and blankly stared at XiaoTing, showing her irritation about being interrupted. "Jiejie, even if you ask father, there's nothing he can do. The candidates have already been approved by the Empress dowager...there's really nothing anyone can do now...."

Lei Xing frowned, debating her words.

{...It makes sense, but...is there really nothing?...wait...}

"That's right, you mentioned a competition, right?" Lei Xing asked.

"Yes, the competition was the Empress dowager's idea to test the personal qualifications of the candidates rather than choosing them based on their status to ensure a more peaceful harem for the new Emperor...at least that's what I heard."

"Then I could just fail then." Lei Xing moved closer to XiaoTing and whispered in her ear, "Is there any chance father would bribe the examiners to get into the harem?"

  "No way! Father hates bribery more than anything...he would never!" Xiao Ting said firmly, "Also even if he wanted to, he couldn't. The Empress dowager and the Emperor are personally deciding on the result, and the competition is to be carried out in front of the other officials, plus the Empress dowager and the Emperor don't know any of the faces of the noble young ladies so there is nothing but fairness."

Lei Xing brightened suddenly, feeling relaxed and turned to walk back to the pavilion.

{...I should really thank this dowager, she must have been very bored and wanted to mess with the officials to do this...I'm sure the high-ranking officials were against this, but she definitely gained the support of lower officials who otherwise may not have had any chance...}

  "Jiejie, you can't seriously be planning to fail, are you?" Xiao Ting asked as she followed behind Lei Xing.

"That is the only way."

"Jiejie, you can't do that!"

  "Can't do this, can't do that...what's the problem now?"

"Jiejie, if you don't give it your best and intentionally fail then you could be accused of ridiculing the royal family and the whole family could lose our lives!" Xiao Ting pulled Lei Xing and looked at her with eyes wet with tears.

{...Is this girl a fountain? She would do well in the acting business, crying on demand is truly a skill...}

  "Don't worry, I'm not stupid, I won't make it obvious...don't worry, trust me..." Lei Xing smiled at her and pat her shoulder reassuringly. She was confident in her ability to fail with style.

"Jiejie..." XiaoTing whimpered.

"Now tell me about this competition. What is it based on?" Lei Xing asked as she pulled XiaoTing to sit at a table nearby.

"The competition is based on three sections; musical, embroidery, and literary skills."

{...Hahahahaha, guess I won't have to try hard to fail or try at all really...I automatically fail 2 out of the 3 tests...I have never embroidered anything in my life, I mean, I have sewn little splits on a skirt badly back together, but I doubt that qualifies as embroidery....musical skill? The only instrument I can play is the recorder, which I learned in elementary school, I remember zero from that experience...

...The literary skill test I could pass as long as it is freestyle... Should be alright as long as I am not expected to regurgitate anything, then I could probably dig up the long-buried poet in me to pass...1 out of 3, I like these odds!

...Either way, it seems I am bound for failure, hahahahaha I have never been pleased to be so incompetent before!...}