Memories

In the dimly lit room, the woman's voice shook with fear, "No," her heart pounding loudly. "Stop it!" she begged, but he ignored her.

Why does he keep hurting her? She thought he loved her. He did love her but what had changed?

"You know I can't, baby. I love you. Fucking love you so much."

Love? If this was love, she would rather be unloved. This was sick. He was sick.

He forced her onto the bed, pressing her face down under his sweaty weight. His hot breath and the heaviness of his hands and, oh God, his erection made her feel trapped. He pushed it against her, lifting her skirt, and his loud breathing hurt her ears.

"Get off me!" She struggled, clawing at the blankets, but she couldn't escape. "I don't want this," she cried out desperately. But he didn't listen, being stronger and meaner, not caring about her protests.

"I love you Bai Lu. You're so fucking beautiful. I knew you were special when I first laid my eyes on you."

Tears rolled down her face in fear, and she begged, "Please-S-stop!" She tried to scream, but all that came out were silent words while she struggled for breath.

"I love it when you play hard to get, love. You like the pain don't you. You little slut." He smirked at her showing his dimples. He was handsome but only God knows the monster he was.

Bai Lu shook her head, her eyes silently pleading with him.

He didn't stop; his hand squeezed her neck painfully with his heavy grip. The same evil look was in his eyes, like she'd seen too many times. Every time, she hoped it'd be the last.

She fought to push his hands away, tried her best to escape, but she wasn't strong enough.

"Don't make me angry. Don't force me to take what I want. You wouldn't like it." He whispered in her ear.

Bai Lu searched his eyes hoping to find those loving eyes which made her stomach swarmed with butterflies to see if he was joking but seeing the evil glint she knew better.

Be knew it. She accepted her fate. Her lungs cried out for air, and Loniethen slowly, she gave in.

Her eyes closed trying not to think about his hands snaking under her chest, squeezing her breast, pulling on her shirt.

He shifted, shoving his hand between her butt cheeks, inside her panties, probing roughly at the hole in back that he always makes bleed.

"N-no don't—please. Don't !"

Bai Lu woke up suddenly, breathing heavily and sweating. Luckily, it was just a bad dream. She used her hands to calm herself and slow her racing heart.

After that, she got out of bed and went to the kitchen for a glass of water to shake off the lingering unease from the nightmare

As Bai Lu stood in the quiet darkness of her kitchen, her frustration evident in the way she raked her fingers through her hair, she couldn't shake off the memories that haunted her even after two years.

Two years had passed, yet those haunting memories persisted. She questioned why they clung to her, given that she was now in a safe and secure space where no harm could befall her.

Even when she had escaped from the clutches of that monster he still continued to haunt her. When will it end?

When would she ever be truly happy? Maybe she wasn't meant for happiness. Loneliness grasped her. She hugged herself, her eyes darting across the dark kitchen.

He was right though, nobody would love someone like her. She didn't deserve love. How could someone who killed her own parents be loved?

Being lonely and unloved was her punishment for everything. She often wondered what it would be like to have parents; people who take care of you, support you, love you. Her grandfather was there but anytime she looked at him, it felt like he silently resented her for killing his only son.

Li Wang was the closest thing she had to experiencing love. His presence brought a flicker of warmth to her cold world, a fragile connection amidst the loneliness

That's why despite the bruises, insults, and emotional pain she stayed. She thought that's how love was supposed to be.

Despite his violent outbursts, his degrading name-calling and raging fits, she still found herself telling him she loved him because she knew how lucky she was to be a part of his world.

Everyone wanted Li Wang and he had chosen her.

She was lucky.

She was so lucky.

Maybe if she kept saying the words, if she kept stringing them together in that exact manner in her brain, she would start to believe them too.

A sigh leaves her lips. Despite how hard she had tried to forget about what happened she just can't. She rubbed her forehead, She could feel a headache coming in. It felt like a dark fog in her head, like ghosts with long fingers and sharp nails scratching inside her skull. They whispered, taunting her like a loud hum.