Seeds, Potential, and Tragedy

Before I could even process Vita's status, a group of men barreled into the large corridor. A scrawny man spoke up to the three girls beside me, his voice shaky and nervous, "T-the humans have stormed our border city of Twyne. The casualties a-are over ten thousand." Eres shot up from her seat and screamed at the guard in the same language Vita spoke before. She oddly seemed more upset at the guards sudden intrusion than from the actual news. The guard slowly lowered his head, bowed, and retreated out of the room. Whatever words she said, he received it loud and clear. She locked eyes with Vita, then with Amare. The three seemingly spoke volumes to one another from sideways glances. Eres then nodded and ran out of the room, following the guard. Amare sighed and whispered something under her breath. She pulled her hood tighter over head, retreating into the sanctity of its embrace. Vita reached over and grasped Amare's hand, squeezing it tightly. I stood still and silent, almost feeling an odd kind of tranquility in my current unimportance.

Vita locked eyes with Amare once more. Amare nodded, and quickly got up and left the room as well. Vita looked at me with a wry smile. She sighed and spoke:

"You will leave here Ryne, I will send one of our best to accompany you, but we may not meet again."

My mind reeled. To say I was overwhelmed would be an understatement. I didn't know what to feel; anger, sadness, fear, worry, my emotions ran rampant. I began to slowly tremble as my grip on what little semblance of control I held began to slip.

"Do not be afraid, Ryne." Vita stood up and walked towards me. She got down on her knees and folded her hands in prayer. "Di magni et potentis vitae, hunc animo tranquillo confer, et placido tene amplexu." She looked up at me, her piercing green eyes captured my own, leaving me transfixed. She held her left hand out to me, showing me a small, plain looking seed in the palm of her hand. The seed slowly began to sprout, transforming from its previous state into a vibrant green flower. She spoke again, "mere seconds ago this beautiful specimen was but a single speck of darkness among an endless night. You probably think it's beautiful now, don't you?"

I dumbly nodded.

Vita sighed. The green petals began to rapidly fall from the pistil, as white spores spouted across the stem. The flower quickly drooped down, and before I knew it the flower had turned to nothing more than a dried up weed. Vita put her hands over mine, almost grasping my hand, but seemingly keeping some separation for my sake. "Beauty lies in everything, Ryne. Whether extravagant and vibrant or ordinary and tame. True beauty lies in entirety. Does the evening look beautiful when the sky is empty? When the sheets of darkness wrap up the horizon, and all one can see is eternal night? Is it possible to say that the same sky is more beautiful when the pale moonlight spreads throughout its distance? Or when the brightest of stars pollute its emptiness, their flashy constellations piercing through the veils of darkness? I'm not so sure. I think the beauty lies in the bigger picture. When the blue hue of the moonlight reflects against the ripples of waves across the ocean, or when the masses of stars come together to paint masterpieces of artwork across the night, making the sky their canvas, and possibilities their muse. Tell me Ryne, what do you think the seed is in this analogy?"

I wracked my brain for a response, I didn't want to say something stupid, but found myself at a loss for a proper response. "I, uh, well-".

Vita giggled. "The seed is opportunity. The seed is potential. The seed could be nothing, but could also be everything. You can be the seed, and so too can I. We can make the most out of our lives, grow big, branch out, captivate. Or we can lay dormant in the ground, watching time slink by, not wanting for anything, or seeking anything. Simply content to be. Tell me Ryne, which one are you? Do you wish to make destiny your servant, bending to make your will come true? Or do you wish for destiny to be your closest ally, guiding you through a mundane, but content life?"

I spoke without thinking, "I, I think that I-".

Before I could finish Eres and Amare stormed back into the room commanding Vita's attention.

"The-the, the city of Twyne has fallen. Our forces were overwhelmed. Our expected casualties, have-, have surpassed twenty-thousand." Eres spoke between breaths, apparently sprinting in to report to Vita.

"All those lives…" Amare whispered, casting her gaze to the ground.

Eres walked up to Vita, getting really close to her face, "it's only a matter of time Vita, I know it, you know it, Amare knows it. Give me the command, I will lead whatever forces I can to halt their march."

Vita closed her eyes and tilted her head to the ceiling, appearing to be in deep thought. "Amare, you will take our best healers and head to Twyne, if it is already lost the humans should see no harm in allowing a few healers in. Offer to heal the wounded enemies as well, that should make them less wary of your intentions."

"What?! Heal the enemy?! The same human scum that crossed into our territory?! That murdered our warriors?! Our men, women, and children?!" Eres spat, a murderous aura surrounding her being. Vita didn't acknowledge her, instead choosing to turn to me, "Ryne you will leave here, head west towards our neighboring country of Ungues, we are allied to them, and they will grant you sanctuary."

Eres again grew rageful by Vita's commands, this time even more so than the last. "Our country is at war Vita! Our men are being murdered! Our livestock burned alive! Our women bound and raped! And you worry about ensuring the safety of one who isn't even one of our kind?! You suggest he go to Ungues but seem to forget they only ally with us because of our shared interest in our enemy, the very creature he is! A wretched human! They'd kill him on sight before he could even set foot on their soil!"

Vita matched Eres' gaze and got even closer to her.

"Humans will act foul, but we will remain the same we always have. We shall not fight if we don't need to. Have you forgotten The Proverb of the Three? There is no reason for further bloodshed in a city that is already lost. And of course I know of Ungues' distrust of humans. I am not so naive. They would want to kill him on sight; you are correct." Vita paused briefly.

I shuddered.

"Of course, they wouldn't dare once they saw who he was in company with." Vita spoke with a smile etched onto her face.

"What unlucky Dryad would you dare task to play ambassador for a human in such a perilous time?!" Eres again spat out.

Vita's smile grew wider as her next words blew what was left of my brain to shreds.

"Who else but the greatest? The Princess they call the thorns of Ronia, you, Eres."

"You must be joking." A vividly irritated Eres balked.

"No jest. Need I remind you who your Queen is? Do you need any other reason to obey? You dare not defy me, right sister?" Vita showed a side of her I'd yet to see. Eres grit her teeth. Amare pulled her hood tighter over her head.

"If the bonds of trust are broken between the rulers, what ruined shambles of trust are the people left with?" Amare eked out, voice wavering. Vita took a deep breath.

"You will go, Eres. You know how I care for you. You know how I want what's best for you, but you know I want what's best for our country just as much. I'd be a foolish ruler if I allowed my emotions to supersede my obligation."

Eres fell on one knee and bowed her head, the faint sound of tooth grinding on tooth echoed throughout the otherwise silent room.

Vita turned to me once more, and addressed me directly: "Ryne, you will have no greater escort than that of the warrior princess. She will give you trouble, that much I can assure you, but she will keep you safe from troubles far greater. I will have Grine pack travel bundles for the both of you. You will leave by morning's dawn. May deorum veteris guide your path."

I didn't know how to react. I didn't know how to feel. She talks about wanting the best for her country but she still wants my safety to come first? Why? I don't get it. I'm not so special. My life ended, it was over, I'm sure of it. But now? Now it drags on. And I still have no control over it. I still have no power to change my life. I slowly raised my hands to the sides of my head and grabbed fistfuls of my hair in each hand. But still, I will follow blindly to whatever the people who brought me here against my will say. I pulled forcefully and relaxed my grip. Short strands of black fell to my feet as I looked Vita in the eyes and too knelt down and bowed my head. Vita came closer to me, the intoxicating scent of roses overwhelming my senses. She sent me an apologetic frown before she bent forward and touched her forehead to my own. I attempted to back away but Eres stood behind me, her disinterested body language acting in stark contrast to the hateful glare on her face. It was almost as if she was begging me to try and move away. I accepted defeat and remained in place.

[Ryne heed my words.]

Vita paused.

[Your answer to my question I asked, the one about destiny.]

I found myself taken aback.

[Did she really put me in this position just for the sake of getting an answer to some stupid philosophical bullshit? Was it so important that she couldn't just ask me out loud like she did before?]

[What you call "philosophical bullshit" I call seeds of life. I do not care for your answer, nor do I feel ill any will towards your hostile response. I do now, however, think you and Eres may have more in common than I originally thought.]

Ever the idiot, I failed to remember my thoughts were being broadcasted to another.

[I'm sorry, I didn't know that I- what I mean is- I didn't think that-]

[Ease, Ryne. As I said, I harbor no ill will. I needed this form of communication so I could tell you something important. Something that Amare and Eres are unaware of.]

[What- what is it?[

[Are you familiar with the term Maledictio Perpetua?]

I backed away from Vita, stumbling over Eres as I did. My heart pounded in my chest. My loose robes clung to my skin, sweat soaked even in the cool temperature of the grand corridor. I shook and I quivered, my eyes rolling into my skull as I passed out.

I awoke some time later in the small room I previously was trapped in. I looked to my wrists and found no chains barring me to the bed. At least some things change, I guess. I got up and walked towards the door. A small note greeted my gaze in Vita's handwriting.

Ryne-

You are free to leave whenever you like, we will be waiting in the same corridor we led you to before. Please don't be upset, but while my head was pressed to yours, I was able to navigate through a few of your memories in search of a way to help you with your condition. On the desk to your left I left a quill and paper in hopes that you could convey your struggles through written means. You may choose to ignore it and come out right now, or you may choose to use it as a resource. There will be no ill will towards either decision you make, I just ask that you think deeply about your choice before you make it.

-Vita

She read my mind? Like, she actually read my mind? I thought I'd be angry at such a notion, but I found myself feeling unexpected relief. Someone else knows what it's like in my head? Someone else saw the madness I've been forced to deal with? And they'd still try to help me? I turned to the desk Vita mentioned. As she said, a quill and paper sat atop its surface, itching to be used. I sat down at the desk, exhaled deeply, and began to write.

"I need her.

The way she holds me so tight makes my head spin in such marvelous delight.

She holds my hand and walks with me through it all, oh how I need her, Anxiety.

I love her.

She makes me wish for no other love,

Up all night cooing in my ear, my pure white dove.

The grip she has on me leads to such sweet depravity,

There's no one else I'd rather be sleeping with, my dreary-eyed. Insomnia.

I adore her.

The way she looks at me, lips pulled at the corners,

She is a permanent fourth to my whole four quarters.

I adore the way she speaks to me,

Voice soft and calm,

Words so sweet and tender,

It's impossible not to keep her tethered.

My god, how I adore her, my charming Doubt.

I rely on her.

She shows me all I wish to see,

Makes living in black and white beautiful through the shades she bestows onto my sight.

Even when it's way over the top, she reminds me I've come too far to slow to a stop.

Oh how she needs me, Madness.

I loathe her.

She reminds me of all the times I was too scared to try.

Clipped my wings when all I wanted was to soar through the sky.

Oh how I loathe her, Anxiety.

I dread her.

The way she keeps me up talking about things I don't understand,

She's somehow astoundingly complex, while painfully bland.

She talks to me about everything, but never says anything.

She's an exhausting one indeed,

My Insomnia.

I resent her,

The way she holds me back to where I can't shake how I'm feeling,

She makes me second guess every choice, leaving my mind reeling.

I keep thinking she'll leave me,

But I can't imagine how I could bear to live life without,

My ever changing Doubt.

I love her.

She showed me lies when the truth was right in front of my eyes,

Made me curse and scream at the world and at nothing and everything in between.

Oh, how she chains me, my darling Madness."

I dropped the quill and stared up at the ceiling. I reached my hand out and grabbed at the air, picturing the world just out of reach of my outstretched hand. I smiled, a genuine smile, for the first time since arriving in this new world. I got up from where I sat and walked back towards the door. I pulled Vita's note from its surface and folded it several times. I slipped it in the pocket of my robe, opened the door, and headed back towards the corridor.