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Chaos Effect

What happens when a fanfic author with a habit of lying and scheming suddenly finds himself as a self insert during Duelist Kingdom? What happens when you have Yugi, Joey, Kaiba, and the rest encounter someone who knows all about every major player in their saga... and sees no problem with abusing said knowledge? Chaos, dear reader. Sweet, sweet chaos

Naruto_Kagenou · Anime und Comics
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107 Chs

Chapter 31

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"I'm getting tired of visiting people in the hospital," I complained as I walked with Yugi and Tristan towards the card shop. Renard was just a few steps behind us, a smirk on his face as he kept an eye on me and made sure I wasn't kidnapped or stabbed; even though I'd pointed out that each had only happened one time he was firm he didn't want it to become a habit. It was a bit odd having a bodyguard but Renard was at least fun to talk to and didn't act all stiff and professional when he was on the job. He'd actually banter and bicker with me while we went about our day; he truly was seeing this as us being 'Nakama' rather than boss and employee.

"I wasn't in the hospital," Yugi complained. "I just had to go to the doctor to get checked out."

"For smoke inhalation," I grumbled in annoyance at how Yugi was downplaying his injuries. "And it could have been a lot worse. Do I need to put GPS trackers on you lot?"

Tristan frowned. "Like what they have for dogs that run away?"

"Well, you four are basically my pets at this point," I snarked. Yugi and Tristan glowered at that but I merely raised a challenging eyebrow. "Am I wrong? I feed you-"

"Buying lunch doesn't count, man!" Tristan complained.

"-take you for walkies-"

"Uh huh," Yugi said and wow he could actually get annoyed. I thought that had been erased from his character completely by Season 2!

"-and teaching you new tricks."

The two teens blinked at that. "Okay, that last one I'm not sure about." Yugi said. I shook my head though, motioning for the two to not actually enter Kame Game but to come along the side, away from prying eyes. Once sure we were alone I willed the Millennium Key to emerge from my chest. "I am never going to get used to you doing that."

"Yes you are… because you are going to learn how to do it yourself. Among other things." I jabbed a finger at Yugi. "We're jailbreaking that Puzzle, just like I jailbroke my Key."

For the last few weeks I had been dealing with KaibaCorp and Industrial Illusions business. Despite Seto saying he wanted me to stay FAR away from KaibaCorp he'd turned around and declared that he had more important things to do than deal with the standard day-to-day tedium so I had to 'earn' my 'keep'. Mostly it was going to lunches and parties and talking with people… stuff I actually loathed. Yes, I could yammer on and on but I didn't like doing it with people I didn't know. Seto's way of punishing me, I supposed.

Pegasus had also been keeping me busy. Thanks to me accidently power-creeping the game Duel Monsters had exploded into popularity and Pegasus actually was busy creating MORE new cards to meet demand. That meant, like Seto, he was using me to meet with potential artists and designers to figure out who to hire. That I didn't mind as much… I had a reputation in my own world of being a cutthroat when it came to interviewing potential new hires, weeding out the fools and getting the best people.

Of course that led to an… interesting… interview…

~MC~MC~MC~

"So, what do you think?"

I looked at Nicholas Phoenix and did a mental debate.

"You're hired but if you begin to work on a Warrior Archtype I want you to contact me immediately. I'd like to… assist in that." Mentally I added, 'And try and keep Aster from becoming an orphan…'

~MC~MC~MC~

And thanks to the timeline for this series being all screwed up and hard to follow I didn't learn til after the fact that Yugi had nearly died in a warehouse fire.

'If I'd been there I could have opened that door in seconds,' I thought to myself, because why not apply the mental whip to my back for my failure? 'Or dragged that little idiot out of there.' My jaw clenched and I snorted. 'No… what I really need to do is get him to actually understand his puzzle.'

"Uh, I don't know about that…" Yugi said nervously, smiling weakly and waving his hands about. "I mean, it might work well for you, Edwin but-"

"Tristan, throw this." I handed him my Key. "Throw this as hard as you can and as far as you can."

"Sure," Tristan said, having gotten used to what I could do with the Key during our stay on Earth 2. With a heave he sent the Key flying… only for it to snap right back around my neck, popping into existence on my chest with a thought. "That is neat."

"You can do the same thing, Yugi," I told him. "You could have the moment Keith took your Puzzle commanded it to come back. The only way someone can truly take the Millennium Puzzle and keep it is to win it in a duel. You can also hide it-" I made my Key sink back into me, "-and summon it." And once more it popped right back out. "And that is just the basics. We'll explore all it can do."

"Explain this to me," Renard said, reminding us all he was there. "You say… jailbreak? What does that mean?"

I shrugged. One of the first things Renard and I had gone over when he'd been hired in was my Key, as I had to explain how I'd teleported us away from the Rare Hunters. He'd taken it rather easily, simply shrugging and stating he'd lived an 'interesting life' and such things didn't faze him. Good man. "The Millennium Items and their powers are based on belief. What you think they can do. Yugi believes right now all the Puzzle does is house the Spirit. I believe my Key can open any lock, turn any doorway into a portal, and lock or unlock minds and souls to being tampered with, controlled, or ripped out. And because I believe all that… the Key can do it. You can't force it to… I don't know, turn into a hamburger, but if there is a logic to the power you can jailbreak it to do that." I shot Yugi a look. "So we are going to Jailbreak the puzzle."

"Edwin, I really appreciate this, I do," Yugi began, clearly leading up to blow me off.

Before I could cut him off though Tea popped out from the back door and grinned. "There you guys are! Come on!"

"This isn't over," I grumbled as Yugi hurried inside. But while Yugi had disappeared within Tea and Tristan had lingered and I decided to take care of some other business. "Hey," I called out to the two. "How are you two doing with…" I tapped my forehead.

Tristan shrugged. "Managing. It's weird to have all this knowledge of Duel Monsters in my head. I've watched some of the old finals from last year with Weevil and such and… I'm picking up on mistakes he made."

Tea though shifted nervously. "I… might have caused a few problems." I stared at her and she let out a sigh, an actually fucking mini cloud leaving her lips. "Come on in."

"Well… that had a touch of ominous to it," Renard japed.

I chuckled though. "It's Tea and her friends. This could either be the end of the world or she took the last cupcake. Now come on, its time for Dad Chaos to see what the kids did." Renard smirked at that and the two of us went inside.

Everyone was gathered on the second floor… where Joey was on his knees pleading with Mr. Muto. Yugi, Tristan, and Tea were all watching in various states of amusement and embarrassment.

"I told you Joey I am too old to teach you."

"But ya just gotta! Come on gramps I-" He froze when he saw me… and within seconds had raced over and gotten RIGHT in my personal space.

"Jesus fucking Christ!" I exclaimed, nearly falling down the stairs save for Renard grabbing my arm and righting me.

Joey clasped his hands together in prayer. "Ed! Teach me how to be like you!"

"…okay!" I called out, holding out my hands. "Everyone gets one insult! Make it count!"

Tristan smirked. "Joey wants to learn how to curse like a sailor?"

"To butt into everything?" Tea teased.

"To make long winded speeches?" Yugi said with a laugh.

"Aw, that's better than mine," Tea complained. "Can I-?"

"Only one!" I charged.

"Listen to old music?" Renard added.

"Rip off television shows?" Solomon said. THAT one surprised me but the old man shrugged. "Unlike these kids I actually watch TV. I know how much you steal."

"Fair enough," I said.

Joey shook his head. "Nah, man, I need ya ta teach me how to be an amazing duelist like you!"

"…I'm afraid to ask what brought this on."

Joey groaned, pulling away from me and holding his head in his hands. "Man, I'm regressin' man! Regressin'! I thought I'd learned so much during Duelist Kingdom but now I'm just worse!" I just watched as Joey had his panic attack, figuring if I waited long enough the other shoe would- "I can't even beat Tea!"

'And there it is,' I thought, Tea's comment suddenly making sense. One Joey with an okay amount of skill plus One Tea who had all the wisdom of her Agent Deck implanted in her had by my evil doppelganger Equaled My Life is super fucked up. 'Of course it's better than One Piece. At least I know this will eventually end and everyone I know and care about aren't hiding secrets about their past and shit.'

~MC~MC~MC~

Selene sneezed and she didn't know why.

~MC~MC~MC~

"I need someone ta help me get back to peak performance! I can't have Tea beatin' me!"

"Because it would make you feel like less of a man and you're insecure about your masculinity?" I asked.

"Exactly!" Joey said with a grin.

"…"

Renard leaned in. "I don't think he actually knows what half the words you just said mean."

"Pretty much." I rolled my eyes and walked over to Mr. Muto. "Just teach the kid."

"I have a store to run!" Solomon complained. "I don't have time to teach Joey how to play a card game! I am very busy!"

"Then why are you up here with a bunch of teenagers?" I asked.

Solomon just blinked before glaring at me. "None of your business!"

I shrugged and walked over to the old man, whispering, "You know, I've always had this theory that you didn't actually lose to Seto Kaiba. You just let him win and faked a heart attack to avoid dealing with him-"

Solomon grabbed the lapels of my jacket and yanked me down close so he could hiss in my ear, "How did you figure that out?!?"

"Best gambler in the world loses to a teenager? Kind of obviously, honestly."

Solomon looked quickly at the others who were watching us in confusion. "If this gets out that Kaiba boy will begin harassing me like he does Yugi! That wasn't even the real Blue-Eyes I gave him…"

I filed away THAT little piece of information for later. "Then train Joey. Not only does it buy my silence but Seto will assume you are so unskilled at the game he'll figure if I do spill the beans I'm lying."

"…good news, Joey! I've decided to mentor you!"

Joey pumped his fist in the air. "Alright! Believe me, you won't regret this!"

"Do you want me to give you back your deck, Grandpa?" Yugi asked.

The old man though merely shook his head. "You think that is my only Duel Monster deck? No no no… I've built a brand new deck that will be perfect to use to teach Joey." He pulled out a set of cards from the pocket of his overalls. "Behold! The Court of Cards!"

"Huh?" Joey said, the rest of his friends moving in close to look at the set of five cards. "Jack's Knight… Queen's Knight… King's Knight… Joker's Knight… and Imperial Bower?"

"Five cards all designed to work together, based on the face cards in a standard deck of playing cards. Together they can create powerful new Arcana Joker cards." Solomon grinned. "With these cards I will be able to teach you everything you need to know about strategy!"

"Alright!" Joey said with a cheer. "Let's get started then!"

As Mr. Muto and Joey went off to have their first duel as student and teacher the rest of us stood around. "So… what do you have planned now that school is done?" I finally asked.

"Well, all this week I need to work at my dad's place," Tristan said with a sigh. "He wants me ready to take over the family business. So answering phones and filing paperwork for a while for me."

"Well, Yugi and I are going to be spending the day together," Tea said with a smile.

"Oh really?" I asked, already knowing what was coming.

"Well, not the two of us… the Spirit and Tea," Yugi said. "I thought that maybe him hanging out with Tea would help him with his lost memories!"

Renard scratched his chin. "Does that make sense to you at all, Captain?"

"Not in the slightest. Tea, mind giving us a minute?"

"I need to go anyway," Tea said with a smile. "Want to get back home and help mom with dinner. Bye guys! Yugi, I'll see you at Domino Station at 10 am tomorrow!"

Once she was gone I turned to Yugi. "Just go out with Tea already."

"W…what?"

"You want to go out on a date with Tea. I can tell. So stop trying to avoid it by living through the Spirit. Just go out with her."

"No no no!" Yugi said with a blush, waving his hands about. "It's not like that at all! I just-" I continued to stare him down and Yugi finally let out a weak sigh. "I… was pretty obvious there, wasn't I?"

"Just a touch," I said with a kind smile. "She's your friend, what's the big deal?"

"I've never been out with a girl before. Friend, yeah, but like that? I just… I don't know…"

A thought occurred to me. At the end of Yugi and Tea's date Seto announced the Battle City Tournament. And I had some… plans… to make clear to the world that I wasn't going to be following canon anymore.

Because fuck the God Cards and Marik and everyone else… I was going to win Battle City.

I wanted a reason to be in that square though when the announcement was made… and Tea and Yugi's date was the perfect answer. And would allow me to help the poor kid out.

"I might have an idea that would make things easier on you," I said, pulling out my phone and hitting speed dial.

"Hello?"

"Hey Mai," I said with a smile. "What are you doing tomorrow?"

~MC~MC~MC~

"You know, it's been a long time since I did something like this," Mai said as Edwin and her sat on a bench, waiting for Tea and Yugi to arrive. Renard, out of privacy for the two, was hanging back just enough to provide some alone time while also able to rush forward if Edwin YET AGAIN found himself in danger (and Mai was NOT happy when Renard had let slipped that Edwin had been kidnapped and nearly beaten to death by some international criminal organization).

"Never been on a double date myself," Edwin admitted. "Do me a favor though… if I begin acting like a chaperone to the kids slap me across the head."

"It is so odd that you act like you're so much older than them."

"Kind of am," Edwin pointed out. "Their biggest concerns are things like what clothing they'll wear on the weekends or a new CD coming out. We know that life is a bit more complex than that."

"Yet I've also see all the action figures you keep in your room…" Mai teased. Before Edwin could reply to that Mai grinned and began to wave. "Well, what do you know! Tea can look real good when she isn't wearing that silly pink school uniform." She looked over the teen with approval; though it was still decidedly too pink for Mai's tastes the colors was much more muted. Combined with the long black socks and pale yellow shirt Tea looked far more mature than she had during Duelist Kingdom.

"Oh, hey Mai! Hi Edwin!" A smile for Mai and a hug for Edwin (and Mai chuckled at the way Edwin STILL stiffened when anyone other than Mai herself hugged him), Tea stood there once they all broke apart, shifting from foot to foot before blurting out. "So, what are you doing here?"

"Yugi didn't tell you?" Edwin asked.

"Nooooo."

He rolled his eyes at that. "Of course he didn't. Renard!"

His bodyguard came closer. "Yes captain?"

"The moment you spot Yugi Muto let me know so I can stop him from doing something stupid." The man gave a two finger salute and Edwin turned back to Tea. "Change of plans. Yugi isn't going to use the Spirit as a way to hide from the world."

"I… what?"

Mai sighed. "Let me?" She placed a hand on Tea's shoulder. "Yugi likes you. He wants to go on a date with you. But like all men he's a coward-" She looked at Edwin but he merely shrugged, accepting the criticism of his gender with good humor, "-and wanted to have his cake and eat it too. Edwin decided that doesn't work for him so we are here to make sure he actually does have a fun day with you. Not some magical mystical ghost; him."

"Oh," Tea said, looking down and biting her lip.

"Unless you aren't okay with that then we cover for you as you run."

Tea's eyes widened at that. "No! That… no!" She blushed. "I… actually am glad. I… like Yugi too. That was why I was willing to help the Spirit but-"

"Say no more. Men are idiots." Again Edwin just stood there and took the insults without reaction.

"Captain?" Renard called out and Edwin spotted Yugi, dressed all in black, hurrying over to them, looking like he had just been asked to run into a bear cave while coated in honey.

"Speaking of idiots…" Edwin muttered, walking over to Yugi. He spoke low but Mai was just able to catch what he was saying. "If you even THINK of swapping with the Spirit I will see if this key can lock him up nice and tight for the day."

There was a… shift… in Yugi's demeanor and Edwin tensed with clear anger only for Yugi to hold up his hand. "I agree with you, Edwin. In fact I've had to take over several times to ensure Yugi didn't turn back home and cancel. I promise that today I will merely observe."

"Fair."

And with that Yugi suddenly blinked and all the cool and collective confidence he'd displayed moments ago disappeared and the young man chuckled weakly, rubbing the back of his head. "Uh… sorry?"

"Apologize to your date for trying to skip out on her," Edwin hissed, grabbing Yugi's arm and dragging him over. "Compliment her, you little idiot."

"Oh, right!" Yugi said, smiling as he finally looked at Tea. "Uh… I really like that jacket."

"Thanks," Tea said, tugging at it. "Is that a new choker?"

"Yeah. I decided I wanted to try something a bit different…"

"Holy shit," Edwin muttered as he pulled Mai a bit away to give the two teens some privacy. "This is going to be awkward as all get-out."

"Probably a good thing you decided to have us tag along. With these two they'd spend the entire time shifting around not knowing what to say and wasting the entire day fumbling their words."

"Yeah," Edwin said before finally clapping his hands. "Alright you two, so I figure the best way to do this is each couple takes a turn deciding what we do. You get first pick because I'm paying for lunch."

"You don't have to do that, Edwin," Tea said. "We can-"

"I want to pay and it's basically Seto Kaiba's money so let's just waste it, okay?" He grinned and patted his wallet; Mai meanwhile was chuckling at how he was proving himself right and he was basically the teens' dad. "I have the company credit card and everything."

"Well… I guess we could walk around a bit, see if there is anything interesting going on before we eat?" Yugi wagered.

"Works for me," Tea said and soon the foursome were touring the shopping district of Domino, making mental notes if there was anything in particular they wanted to do. The differences between the two couples were stark and obvious even to a casual observer who had only caught them from the corner of their eye. Tea and Yugi were at once both shy and comfortable with each other; there would be moments where it was clear that this was a first date and they didn't know how to talk to one another and spent far too long over thinking things.

But then something would happen… they spotted something that reminded them of a shared moment or a story they'd never told the other… and all the flustered worries would disappear and the two of them would remember that they were best friends and this was merely a day to see if they wanted to shift that to something far deeper.

In contrast Mai and Edwin, despite having known each other for a far shorter time, were much more secure in their relationship. For a short while they merely walked side by side but eventually Mai pulled in close, threading her arm around Edwin's and pressing in close. They looked like any true modern couple, confident and strong and committed. Mai was turning heads with her painted on jeans, belly-baring shirt, and purple leather jacket. But it amused her that Edwin didn't seem to even notice that he was attracting just as many longing looks himself. He was wearing a dress shirt and vest, having ditched his coat (Renard, she'd learn, was holding onto it for him) and with his long legs and confident walk he commanded all to notice him… even as he didn't realize it.

After an hour of walking it was finally decided that they should eat early to hopefully avoid the crowds. A bit of a debate had risen when the teens, of course, wanted to simply go to a fast food place. Mai had flat out refused.

"You go to one of those places when you have nothing left. This is supposed to be a special day and we are going to treat it as such."

Edwin had finally suggested a middle ground; a sit down restaurant that still served the best comfort foods. A bit nicer than a diner but not some overly snotty posh place where they'd have been looked down upon for not wearing pearls and ties. A place where you actually read from a menu… at a table… with a waitress. Not speaking into a clown's mouth in order to get some fries that were kept warm by a light bulb. There could be such food but it was prepared fresh inhouse.

"So," Edwin said, swirling a seasoned fry in some ketchup. He might have been more mature than the teens but to Mai's amusement he had gone with a standard burger and fries while she had grabbed a chicken sandwich, Tea a fish wrap, and Yugi a shredded beef sandwich. "What are we thinking next?"

"Maybe not right now but I do have an idea I came up with last night, when I was still thinking that we were going to be helping the spirit." She pulled out a magazine from her purse. "There is an exhibit on Ancient Egypt at the Domino Museum."

"Because of the puzzle?" Yugi asked.

Tea quickly nodded, flipping to an image of an eye design, one that was exactly the same as the one on Yugi's puzzle. "Yeah, see? It's not just about Egypt but it has imagery that matches your puzzle. We might find some connection."

"There are worse ideas," Mai said. "And hey, the museum will have a bunch of other things we can check out as well."

"According to the article the exhibit is going to be opened today at 6pm for a special evening preview. We could head over there after we eat supper."

"Think we'll be able to get in?" Yugi asked.

"If not I'll throw around my name," Edwin said. "There are benefits to being rich and powerful, after all. The Title of King of Games wouldn't hurt either."

"I don't know if that is exactly right..." Yugi said, setting down his sandwich. "Is it fair to use my title just to get into an exhibit?"

"Probably not," Edwin admitted. "But let's face it, we all have lines we cross. No one is squeaky clean."

"I don't know about that," Yugi said though Mai was rather interested that Tea, little Miss "Friendship is the most important thing in the world", didn't argue with Edwin but rather nodded her head slightly in agreement. There was a story there… Mai just knew it. She'd noticed recently that Edwin had been mentioning Tea a bit more… at first she had assumed it was because of her father; Edwin had a massive guilt complex and much to Mai's annoyance he actually was blaming himself for the bastard being in jail. But now she wondered what might have caused the interest. Nothing sexual or the like; Mai was good at knowing when a man's eye was straying and Edwin didn't talk of Tea like she was a conquest he longed to claim. It was more like how Joey would talk about his sister Serenity. There was… protectiveness when it came to Tea. Tristan too. And Tea's sister.

'Yes… definitely a story there.'

"Okay then," Edwin said with a shrug. "Then I guess I'm the real King of Games seeing as you illegally got help from the Spirit of the Puzzle to help you during our duel." Yugi's eyes widened at that.

"…point taken," he admitted, causing Edwin to smirk.

"Let's be honest here… of the four people sitting at this table the ranking for honest dueling goes Tea, me, Mai, and you. Getting illegal help," he pointed at Mai, "marking cards-"

"I am never going to live that down, am I?" Mai groused.

"Nope!" Edwin said with a grin. He jabbed his finger at himself. "Mind games. Tea is the only one whose dueled completely honestly. So technically we all should have been disqualified, Pegasus included, and that would make HER the true King… er… Queen of Games."

"I… I don't know about that-" Tea stammered but Mai was already laughing.

"I like it! We need more Queens in the world… and hey, I can say I nearly bet the Queen of Games. That is better than I think I'd have done against Edwin or how I did against Yugi here."

They finished off their meals, deciding to skip dessert in favor of grabbing something later on. Edwin tossed some bills on the table for a tip before offering Mai a hand up, Yugi belatedly doing the same for Tea.

"Well your majesty?" Yugi teased, causing Tea to blush as Edwin walked over to the counter where Renard had been eating his lunch, getting into a small argument with his bodyguard over him paying for his meal as well. Mai found it so very odd how… casual… Edwin was with the man. And yet it wasn't odd at all. For someone else maybe it would have been weird to be so friendly with an employee but Edwin was Edwin. He clearly saw Renard as a friend and Mai was looking forward to getting to know the Eliminator better. It would be nice to have a friend who was actually mature… and drank ('Stupid Edwin and his straight edgeness'). "What should we do next?"

~MC~MC~MC~

"I thought you'd love this place," Yugi said as Tea and Mai browsed the selection of CDs in the music store.

Edwin merely shrugged, pulling out his phone. "Troy here can get me all the free music I want."

"Troy?" Yugi asked in confusion. "You named your phone?"

"I used the Millennium Key on it and I'm pretty sure its gaining sentience." As if sensing that Edwin was talking about it the phone began to play 'Friend Like Me' while a :D appeared on the screen. "So Troy it is. Though if he begins to call himself AI and wants to duel himself we might have problems."

The phone switched to a :P

~MC~MC~MC~

"AAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!" Yugi cried out as he ran through the park, shielding his head as the pigeons flew after him.

"Should… should we do something?" Tea asked nervously.

Mai shook her head. "I kind of want to see if there are enough of them to help him achieve flight."

"HEEEEEELLLP!!!!"

"Hey guys?" Edwin said, a bunch of birds fluttering around him. "I think these guys believe I'm a Disney Princess…"

~MC~MC~MC~

"We shouldn't have let Edwin pick the movie," Yugi murmured nervously as the pretty young swimmer paddled out into the ocean, ominous music playing. Tea was already sitting curled up in her seat, staring at the screen while practically chewing her fingernails off. In contrast Edwin was gleefully munching on his popcorn, Mai cozied up next to him sipping her slushie.

"HELP ME!" the swimmer screamed as the shark attacked her.

Tea let out a scream and practically crawled into Yugi's lap, pressing her face against his shoulder at the attack continued.

'On the other hand…' Yugi thought with a slight smile as Tea continued to cuddle up to him.

~MC~MC~MC~

Edwin and Tea glanced at each other.

Mai and Yugi were currently looking at the widnow of the card shop, trying to make it look like the last thing they wanted to do was go inside and spend hours looking at all the brightly colored collectable cardboard. They were actually getting twitchy, getting that close to the Duel Monster cards but feeling like they couldn't actually go in there.

"One day," Edwin finally said. "Can we go ONE DAY without our lives orbiting that game?"

"You're one of the Top Five Duelists in the world," Mai pointed out.

"And? I have a life outside of Duel Monsters." Edwin huffed. "Come on, can't we-"

"Actually…" Tea said with a slight blush. "I kind of want to see about upgrading my deck." She tapped her temple with her index finger.

"…oh for fuck's sake!" Edwin grumbled. "Fine! One hour! AT MOST! That is-"

He blinked as he suddenly found himself staring at three clouds that looked like Yugi, Mai, and Tea.

~MC~MC~MC~

They ended up staying at the card shop for about 70 minutes but I wasn't going to be too grouchy about them managing to sneak in an extra ten minutes.

"You people have a sickness."

TOO grouchy.

"We're merely working on our decks, Edwin," Yugi said, trying to figure out a way to make me see the logic of spending every waking moment focused on Duel Monsters.

"Uh huh, sure," I said with a roll of my eyes even as Mai cuddled up to me, playfully poking my side with her finger. "And tomorrow you'll merely be weaking them. And the next day it will be just adjusting slightly. And then-"

"Someone is being a grumpy old man," Mai teased, giving me another poke. "We're done with Duel Monsters, I promise. Now let's get something to eat."

While they had been busy feeding their addiction I had been on my phone figuring out a good place to eat before we hit the museum. I'd found a pizza parlor off a side street that had rather good ratings and made that my choice. Mai of course bemoaned it in her own light way but quickly shut up when she saw that I'd selected an actual sit down restaurant. It wasn't some order and go place with a table off to the side that was their 'dining area'. No, it was an actual restaurant with a wait staff and a full menu. We still stuck with a pizza but it at least showed that the place had some class.

"That's a lot of meat you ordered," Tea said as I got down listing off all the toppings I wanted to the waiter.

"You guys voted for Meat Lovers."

"Meat Lovers is… three toppings. I think you went for a Meat Orgy," Mai told me.

"I am a firm believer that at least four baby animals should have been made orphans when I order a pizza." Tea gasped at that and I scoffed. "I'm kidding, Tea."

"Oh… right."

Not really. I knew the animals became orphans. But I wasn't going to have Tea suddenly going vegan on me.

"So what are your plans for the summer, Yugi?" Mai asked after our food finally arrived (a pizza that the place called a 'large' but was actually an XL with slices bigger than Yugi's face).

"Try and figure out the secrets of the Millennium Puzzle," he said between bites. "A lot of people have become really interested in it and I need to understand why."

"And how to use it," I interjected.

"Edwin," Yugi said weakly, "I just don't-"

"What is this now?" Tea interrupted, confused.

Yugi let out a sigh. "Edwin wants to teach me how to use the Millennium Puzzle."

"No, I want to help you figure out how to jailbreak it so you have all the tools you could possibly need in case more danger pops up." I leaned over the table. "This Marik guy that confronted you in the warehouse… his goons wore the same thing the guys that kidnapped me wore."

"The same ones that wanted you to turn on Yugi?" Mai asked as there was a clatter behind us.

"The very same," I stated. "This Marik person is really interested in the Millennium Puzzle and isn't someone to give up after a first attempt. You need to be ready for them." I grabbed a breadstick, taking a bite before jabbing the rest at Yugi's puzzle. "And it's only going to get worse."

"I don't know about that…" Yugi said.

"Edwin's right," Tea stated, flinching slightly when she heard someone tripped behind us before continuing. "There are other items out there and it seems like people are growing obsessed with your puzzle. And getting more elaborate in trying to get it. Pegasus set up a whole tournament to get your puzzle, this Marik guy tried to force Edwin to work for him and then brainwashed Bandit Keith to battle you… I get a bad feeling it's going to get worse." She hugged herself and I could tell she was thinking about the alternate reality and my evil counterpart who had wielded a Millennium Item himself.

Tea had been very firm after that entire situation, once she'd actually calmed down over what I'd done to Aiden Order, about having me lock down her mind. I'd happily done so, along with Tristan and Yuri as well. Renard had been quickly sold on the idea as he had lived an interesting life already and seen what my Key could do. My uncle I'd done in his sleep (I regretted that invasion but there was no way I was going to have that long conversation with him about magic and all that) and Mai had allowed me to tackle her though I'd met some odd… resistance… when using the Key and I still needed to look into that and make sure she was protected.

"We just want you to be safe, Yugi," Tea said, taking his hand and giving it a squeeze. "We don't want you to be put in danger needlessly. It's… it's like Duel Monsters-" She ignored me as I groaned at ONCE MORE that game becoming a focal point in all aspects of our life, "-if you can upgrade your deck to counter a threat you do it. You don't say, "I'll just risk losing because I don't want to take the time to actually strengthen my deck". The same thing here."

"I guess you're right," Yugi murmured. "It just… doesn't feel right for some reason."

"I'm not asking you to go full Pegasus," I told Yugi. "I have never used my Key in a duel. I use it to help protect myself-"

Renard slammed a Rare Hunter's head into our table, holding the man there.

"-and sometimes Renard does it. Make a new friend?"

My bodyguard grunted. "I was enjoying a grinder when I spotted this robed figure come in and ask for a table near yours. I decided to help them out." He gave the Rare Hunter a thump. "You'll need to tip the wait staff. I might have broken a pitcher of soda over their head."

"…I will ignore my annoyance that you called it 'soda' instead of 'pop'," I said dryly, pushing away from the table.

"This is a Rare Hunter?" Mai asked, looking at the purple robed figure.

"Yup," I said, walking around so I could look at the Hunter who was struggling while also glaring at me. Renard had his arm twisted behind his back, making it impossible for him to do much more than wiggle.

"Not very impressive, is he?" Mai said, using the spoon that had been wrapped in her napkin with the rest of her cutlery to poke at him like he was some strange foreign dessert that had been plopped down before her by a host that grinned and giggled just a bit too much.

"They are mostly thugs that intimidate or use duels," I said, Yugi nodding in agreement. "Marik takes advantage of the desperate when he isn't just straight up brainwashing minions."

"Is that what happened to this person?" Tea asked, worrying her lip.

I, however, shook my head. "When Marik takes over someone their eyes go pale, nearly white, and they don't struggle and fight like this fellow." Renard grunted in agreement with that. "I get the sense he understands BASIC motor functions but can't have them perform karate. Meaning our friend who just interrupted our double date did so of his own accord." I leaned down and smiled. "So… tell The Devil why you decided to take another shot at me."

"Not interested in you, though you are a bonus," the Rare Hunter snarled. "Marik put a bounty on your head-"

"He ripped that off from Pegasus. Original."

"Very," Renard said with a smirk before twisting the man's wrist until we all heard a creaking crack.

"-it's the puzzle! He wants the Puzzle! And the Pharaoh!"

"The… who?" Yugi asked.

"Marik's Egyptian," I lied, "King of Games, Pharaoh of Games… same thing to him."

"As for why I did this?" the Rare Hunter said with a sneer. "Marik promised me that if I captured the Millennium Puzzle and defeated the Pharaoh he would grant me my deepest desire: my family's hotel." The Rare Hunter wiggled a bit so he could stare all in the eye better. "I was supposed to be my father's Heir. I was trained from the moment I could walk how to run that hotel. It was the jewel of our city. But then my father lost it playing craps and the new owners refused to do the right thing and give it back to me. So Marik-"

"Renard, smash him against the table again." The former eliminator nodded and did just that as I turned to the group. "Always start with the head. Gets the person woozy and stops them from spouting off their pathetic backstory." I clapped my hands together, looking out at all the tables that were now watching us. "Ladies and Gentlemen, I do apologize! I am the magician Edwin the Enchanted and you have been selected to witness a bit of street magic!"

Mai leaned her head on her palm, just watching me with an utterly bemused expression.

"This here is my not so lovely volunteer, a member of an international criminal organization known as the Rare Hunters. They are a group whose turn ons include death, destruction, violence, and mind rape. Turn offs are bathing and any pants that aren't leather." I reached down and patted the Rare Hunter on the cheek. "But sadly our volunteer here failed to take out me or my friends in any sort of gruesome manner… and most likely make all the rest of you collateral damage… so I think it only kind I send him back to his boss so he can report on his failure in person!"

With that Renard yanked the Rare Hunter up and I marched to the Men's Bathroom, throwing open the door once to show off the normal tiled wall and urinals that lay within.

"Nothing up my sleeve…" I shut the door and called upon the power of the Millennium Key before swinging the door open again, the patrons at the pizza parlor oooooing and aaaaaaing as the bathroom had been replaced by a wide open dusty plain under a full moon, a few twisting trees in the distance and the roar of a lion echoing in the distance. "Enjoy the Savannah, jackass!" I grabbed the Rare Hunter and shoved him inside, shutting the door before he could scramble back. I waited a moment then threw the door open one more time… to reveal an empty bathroom. "TADA!"

I'm not ashamed to admit I bowed as the patrons all clapped.

"Thank you, I will not be here all week because I have shit to do!" I declared as I walked back to the table. "Thank you Renard."

"My pleasure, captain," he said with a chuckle. I returned to my seat, taking careful consideration of my plate and my glass, slowly refilling the latter with POP (never fucking soda… it is pop) before returning to my slice. "You may proceed to complain that I was too cruel now," I told them.

Mai merely reached out and ran her fingers along my thigh. "You being all cocky and powerful is such a turn on," she whispered in my ear before showing that the 4Kids censor truly had been killed by actually NIBBLING on my fucking earlobe while allowing her hand to drift a bit further, causing me to stiffen… in my seat. Stiffen in my seat.

"Ahem," I said, trying to gain control of myself. "Well… anyone else?"

"Where did you send him?" Yugi asked.

"Africa. Military barrack. So he just needs to knock on the door and he'll be let right back in. Though he'll have to explain what the hell he is doing there." I paused, pursing my lips. "Damn, I should have slapped a note on his back letting them know he was a terrorist."

"But he's still alive?"

"If he dies it ain't my fucking fault." I took a bite of pizza.

"…okay then."

I raised an eyebrow at that, chewing slowly for a moment before finally swallowing. "I'm sorry, I missed that. Repeat please?" I cocked my head towards Yugi and flicked my earlobe.

"Don't be an ass," Mai teased, squeezing my calf.

"It's okay, Mai," Tea said sweetly. "Edwin gets so few chances to be right."

"…fair," I said with a shrug, smirking at Tea.

Yugi though sighed, setting down his pizza. "I might have felt different just after Duelist Kingdom… and I know I would have felt differently before it. Back then I believed that everyone had some good in them and they could be redeemed. Joey showed me that. But Duelist Kingdom…" he shook his head at the thought. "There were so many duelists there that were cruel just to be cruel. Weevil. PaniK. Bandit Keith. They didn't just want to defeat me, they wanted to ruin me. And then after Duelist Kingdom…"

"The warehouse?" I asked.

"Yeah," Yugi said softly. "I almost died in there. And I think Marik wouldn't have minded at all. Heck, he probably would have been delighted. He attacked you too when you refused to turn on me. Uh, thanks for that, by the way."

"My issues have been with the spirit that sometimes walks in your shoes. You and I? Never had a problem."

"Thanks," Yugi said again with a smile before letting it fall. "They attacked you. And that Rare Hunter who just came at us, who knows who they would have hurt in order to get one of us." The teen sighed. "I don't like it because I'd much rather make friends than enemies but… there are going to be times where we have to fight back. Where we have to be harsh. Because I get the feeling that Marik wouldn't be interested in my Millennium Puzzle if he merely wanted to sell it. There is something else going on here and I need to be ready."

Even though she didn't have to say a word Tea chose to speak up. "Did you tell Mai what happened to us?"

"A brief overview," I admitted.

"Alternate reality where everyone who is good is bad and everyone who is bad is good." Mai grabbed her pop and poked at the ice with her straw. "I get it was really bad and you probably don't want to joke around about it but I have to admit… I wonder what I was like there." We all looked at her and she smiled. "I'm not a saint but I'm not a pure sinner either. I'm right down the middle. So would I basically be the same? Or would other things have changed." She suddenly chuckled. "Oh, I can see it… here I use my looks to get my way but I bet in that world I'm some demur librarian who wears her hair in a bun and has think horn-rimmed glasses and buttons her shirt all the way to the top are the best in the world!"

"Well I was an insane scientist who dressed like a plague doctor," I pointed out. "So who knows?"

"Hmmm… I wouldn't mind giving you a preview of the librarian but you'd need something else instead of the cackling loon-"

Tea cleared her throat and Mai and I looked back at her, realizing we'd been flirting while she was trying to have a serious conversation. We mouthed quiet apologizes and Tea finally continued. "In that world your counterpart Edwin… he did horrible things to all of us. Serenity killed Joey. Yugi's grandpa-" the teen tensed at that and I realized that Tea must have told him FAR MORE than I would have, "-was a monster. And sometimes… I think we can't be knights with codes of honor in order to protect the people we care for. Sometimes we have to be monsters too."

I blinked at that. 'Holy fuck I think I just converted them both to my side!' Yes, the Pharaoh was probably still an ass and I doubted Tea would allow me to torture Marik for information but still… this was a far cry from the Flanderization the fandom had for the two teens. That Tea was constantly spouting off friendship speeches and Yugi would rather hug his enemies than fight them. Getting them to see that sometimes you had to be hard and fight back in order to protect yourself and others… that was a huge deal.

And worrisome.

'I changed how Mai is,' I thought to myself as we all finished up our meal. 'Even at the end of the Battle City she wasn't this open. Tristan and Tea now have as much duel knowledge as Yugi… and Tea and Yugi are willing to accept that sometimes you can't just talk out problems. I said fuck canon but… just how much more am I going to end up changing this world?'

But I also knew that I couldn't just dwell on that. This life was changing, yes, but it wasn't something I could alter right now. Honestly I wasn't sure if I wanted to. Yes, everything worked out in canon but that didn't mean I could make things better…

"So where to now?" Mai asked. "We still have a couple of hours before we head over to the museum."

"I know just the place!" Tea said with a grin. "You guys are going to love it!"

It took about ten minutes for us to get from the pizza parlor to the Spider Web Arcade and I had to admit… yeah, I did like it. A ton. It reminded me of this massive arcade back in my reality, Round 1. It had a bowling alley and a mix of classic and hi-tech games for people to try out. Racing games and crane games and all sorts of other fun ways to blow your money and kill some time.

"You know," I said, looking around at all the different systems and booths and devices, "I don't like games of chance. Not a fan of gambling or risking it all. Don't like casinos either. But this…" I steepled my fingers together. "This I like. Now then, who wants their butts handed to them in Skee Ball!"

Unlike in the episode we'd actually gotten to the arcade early, meaning we got to play some games before the need to sell cards to children popped back up. Skee Ball, tossing balls into milk jugs, Goin' Fishin', Whack-A-Mole, throwing footballs and shooting basketballs, even a few racing games and who would have guessed that Yugi was a little monster when it came to those kinds of games!

I was trading in my tickets (and paying the extra needed) to get Mai a stuffed Harpie Lady from the gift shop when cheers began to rise up and I heard music coming from a part of the arcade. Tea instantly perked up and I chuckled, finishing my purchase just in time for Mai to hand me her gift: a new set of earbuds that matched my new outfit. Accepting them and handing her the stuffed Harpie we followed after Tea who was dragging Yugi away from one of those 'Hit the button to stop the lights and win a prize' games (and from the way he was muttering to himself I got that the Pharaoh was trying to convince him he knew how to beat the 'magical game machine').

"Look at that!" Tea said as we came upon a crowd of people gathered around a DDR game.

"Wow…" I said dryly as the onlookers all talked about how amazing Johnny Stepps was, "I didn't know it was possible for this much pathetic to be crammed into such a small space."

"At least without Joey being here," Mai snarked, causing me to snort.

"Hey!" Johnny called out, having clearly noticed Mai and my less-than-interested looks. "Think you can make fun of me?"

"No," I said with the same face Saitama made when Boros declared he'd achieved a new form. "I know I made fun of you."

"Better watch your mouth! You know who I am?"

"A creepy adult in an arcade who thinks playing a dancing game makes him important?" Mai asked.

Johnny glared at us before puffing out his chest. "Heh. That's because you don't know who I am! I'm Johnny Stepps, greatest dancer in this city!" He did a little move. "Think your pathetic boyfriend can beat that?"

Mai raised an eyebrow. "I don't know… can you Edwin Chaos, Head of KaibaCorp's board of directors, beat Jossie Steeps?"

THAT caused the crowd to murmur.

"Well… I can do the white boy shuffle with the best of them," I teased.

Johnny glowered at us. "Yeah right… this is Edwin Chaos! Next you'll say that short dweeb is Yugi Muto."

"It is Yugi you moron," I grumped.

"And I won't have you mocking him or any of my friends!" Tea declared, handing Yugi her purse and tossing her jacket off. "I'll take you and your flashy moves on right now!"

The crowd began to cheer that, clearly excited for the battle, and Tea smirked as she stepped up onto the platform. As she did so I noticed something that made me realize I could have some fun as well.

"I'll be right back," I said, kissing Mai on the cheek before leaping up to the platform that was above the DDR machines. "I think it only fair you two compete on a song of MY choosing… to prevent Johnny from pulling a fast one." I rubbed my hands together as I activated a few switches and the game went into Karaoke Mode. "Ladies and Gentlemen… In this corner we have the high steppin', fast movin', one of a kind Johnny Stepps!" Johnny, despite being annoyed with me, grinned and bowed at my introduction. "And in this corner the challenger… the fast movin', quick kickin', dance-defying beauty Tea Gardner!" Tea did her own bow, really getting into the challenge. "I'm the Lord of Song and I'll be providing the music for this match." Finding the perfect song I grinned and held up my hands, saying softly, "And here… we… go…"

The fast pace guitar riff came on and Tea and Johnny began to dance as I grabbed the mic and began to sing.

"Oh don't you dare look back, just keep your eyes on me. I said "you're holding back". She said "shut up and dance with me". This woman is my destiny. She said oh oh oh "Shut up and dance with me!"."

Johnny and Tea instantly found the rhythm and began to make their moves, twirling and spinning on the dance floor. It was actually rather interesting how different they were when it came to approaching the game. Johnny for the most part focused on just his legs, holding out his arms so that his upper body almost remained completely still as his legs swirled below him like the blades of a blender. He almost never looked down, choosing to focus only on the screen, knowing just where to put his feet each time. I had to give him that much at least; he knew how to play this game and could do it well. This wasn't some fat blowhard huffing and puffing as he spastically flailed about while claiming his moves were the greatest dance steps ever. Johnny had talent.

"We were victims of the night, the chemical, physical, kryptonite. Helpless to the bass and the fading light. Oh we were bound to get together, bound to get together. She took my arm, I don't know how it happened. We took the floor and she said: "Oh don't you dare look back, just keep your eyes on me". I said "you're holding back", she said "shut up and dance with me". This woman is my destiny. She said oh oh oh "Shut up and dance with me!"."

Tea let her whole body get into the act. She swayed and flowed with the music, unable to just use her legs even if that was the only thing the game carried about. Instead she moved and twisted, swinging her arms in the air before drawing them close, caressing her face before flicking them out again. She swayed her hips and leapt up and beamed to the audience that was quickly warming to her performance. For once even with my participation I was merely an afterthought and I had no problem with that. Let Tea have her chance to shine.

"A backless dress and some beat up sneaks. My discotheque Juliet teenage dream. I felt it in my chest as she looked at me: I knew we were bound to be together. Bound to be together. She took my arm, I don't know how it happened. We took the floor and she said: "Oh don't you dare look back, just keep your eyes on me". I said "you're holding back", she said "shut up and dance with me". This woman is my destiny. She said oh oh oh "Shut up and dance with me!"."

The mic was cordless so I moved down the stairs, swinging around the platform and mingling with the crowd, who were truly getting into the whole performance. Where before they had been cheering on Johnny and calling out encouragement and talking about how skilled he was now they were silent, watching the him and Tea go at it with me as the final icing on the cake. Johnny and Tea clearly knew that things had gone to a different level because they were getting bolder in how they moved. Their steps flashier, gestures grander. They were truly putting on a show.

"Deep in her eyes I think I see the future. I realize this is my last chance. She took my arm, I don't know how it happened, we took the floor and she said…!"

The music grew quiet and the crowd began to stomp their feet in time. Even as Johnny moved to trip Tea up she easily leapt over the leg sweep and continued on with her routine. That little move cost Johnny as Tea's score increased to take the lead, leaving him fuming and trying to catch up. I, on the other hand, was focused on slithering around Mai who watched me with hooded eyes.

""Oh don't you dare look back, just keep your eyes on me". I said "you're holding back", She said "shut up and dance with me". This woman is my destiny. She said oh oh oh:"

I lifted the mic and the entire crowd cried out.

"Shut up and dance!"

That caused Tea and Johnny to move into the grand finale, knowing that the song was coming to an end. Johnny's legs spun and twirled and I realized that my metaphor about the blender had been made far too soon. Now he was a whirling maelstrom of limbs that slammed down on the platform to the point that I was sure it was going to crack and break under the onslaught. He was no longer smirking and smiling but rather grimly focused, his features the same as a swordsman who had sought for decades a rival and now realized that he'd found in the most unlikely of places one that could cut him down and end his reign.

""Don't you dare look back, just keep your eyes on me". I said "you're holding back" She said "shut up and dance with me"."

Tea once more proved to be Johnny's opposite. While his steps became harder and fiercer hers became lightly. She danced on her toes, gliding across the gaming pad, at times barely brushing against the sensors that registered her scoring points. And while she was determined too only a fool wouldn't see that she was also enjoying herself greatly. And the reason was clear from the score: she was now fighting from a place of victory while Johnny battled from a position of desperation.

And time was running out.

"This woman is my destiny. She said oh oh oh. Shut up and dance with me! Oh oh oh shut up and dance with me! Oh oh oh shut up and dance with me!"

The music hit the final notes and Johnny and Tea both finished, posing while I did I little spin in front of them and held the mic high in the air, eyes closed as the entire arcade burst into cheers. Because none of us had noticed others coming to watch us but now it was clear that everyone had stopped playing the other games to witness the competition.

And cheer Tea as the final score showed her winning by 500 points.

Yugi instantly rushed forward, vibrating in place as he babbled. "That was amazing Tea! I've seen you dance but never like that! The way you moved… that was just… I mean wow!"

"Thanks Yugi," Tea said, panting slightly. One of the attendants at the arcade brought her over a bottle of water. "Thank you," she said before twisting off the top and guzzling it down. Johnny got another one, which he snatched up with a scowl, and I was the last one because while I hadn't just done a full body workout I didn't need my throat torn up from my singing.

"Good song choice," Mai teased.

"I plead the 5th," I told her.

"This is Japan, they don't have the 5th."

"Then I plead whatever they have," I teased.

"So, want to try a few more games or should we head to the museum?" Yugi asked, the four of us turning only to find our way blocked by Johnny Stepps.

"You think you can just walk out of here after embarrassing me like that?"

The word, "Yeah" were on my tongue but I forced myself not to speak, allowing Yugi to be the peacemaker. "It was a good competition," he told Johnny. "You were amazing up there."

"And I'll be amazing in our rematch. Right here, right now!"

"Come on, we're all tired," Mai said with a roll of her eyes. "Maybe we'll run into you again."

"Yeah," Tea said. "Another day? We can have our rematch. But now-" She moved past him only for Johnny to grab her arm and squeeze, hard.

"I'm not done-"

Johnny didn't get to finish. Mostly because I rushed forward, slammed him against an old school Pac Man machine, and pressed my arm against his throat.

"That… was a bad move," I hissed, all good humor exploding in the fires of my rage.

It was, of all people, Renard who was suddenly next to me, reminding us all he was there, placing his hand on my shoulder. "Captain… take a breath."

"Edwin…" Yugi whispered.

After a moment I released the bastard and panted, rubbing my chest. I could feel the Millennium Key heating up under my skin "You… you okay, Tea?"

"I am," she said, walking over and placing a hand on my cheek. I flinched, hating to be touched by most people, but allowed her to turn my head towards her. "Eyes," she whispered and I realized that my eyes must have gone gold and black again, blinking several times before she nodded.

Then she focused on Johnny.

"I'm willing to bet Edwin's mom taught him you don't hurt a woman," Tea said, not noticing my twitch at the mention of my mom; she was fucking right, of course, but she would always be a wound that would never heal. "Something you never learned. That's the second time you tried to hurt me… the first was on the dance floor when you tried to trip me up."

"I did no such thing! Not my fault you are clumsy-"

"Give it up," Mai said with a huff. "Tea was beating you and that made you desperate. But it didn't work. Stop acting like you are innocent in this."

"I will do no such thing!" Johnny declared. "Alright, so you don't want to give me a chance to earn back my title of Greatest Dancer In Domino-"

"That's not a real thing!" I called out, Mai squeezing my hand to tell me quietly to shut the fuck up.

"-then let's settle it not on the dance floor but the Duel Arena!" He took out a Duel Monsters deck because of course someone who focused on DDR machines would be a duelist.

"I'll gladly duel you-" Yugi said only for Tea to hold out her arm, making me smile with pride. Good girl. Fight your own battles.

"The challenge was for me, Yugi… only fitting I answer it. This place have a dueling arena?"

"A small one," Johnny said as a crowd gathered again.

"Then let's go. You… me. We settle this NOW!"

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