If I Can Go Back

-Age 28-

'I never forgot that day... I could have saved her. I could have asked her to come with me. However, back then I was only focused on my reputation. I was never one for going out of my way and approaching a girl, especially in front of my friends.'

'To this day I have felt so guilty for her kidnapping.'

"Craig... You okay?"

I looked up from my deep thought seeing Clyde and Token looking at me concerned.

"Dude you look sick." said Clyde placing his hand on my forehead.

"I'm fine." I said smacking his hand away from my face.

"We have those plans still, right?" asked Token.

I nod.

We were walking to Clyde's place.

"Dude isn't it crazy that your turning 29 soon?" asked Clyde wrapping his arm around my shoulder.

I sighed toward his stupidity. "Yeah..." I groaned.

"Craig, seriously are you okay?" Token asked.

"Yeah... I jus-"

I glanced up feeling my heart sinking hard when I saw a glowing blue butterfly fluttering off in the distance.

'The blue butterfly...'

My eyes widen feeling my breath quicken.

'Where is it?.... Where is it?'

I look around feeling my heart beating out of my chest panicking a bit.

"Craig, what are you doing?"

"Guys, do you see anything unusual?"

They both looked around.

"Uhhh no.... Not that I...."

"Wait... What's that guy acting really weird next to that van." Token said pointing at a white van off in the distance.

I could see someone covering his face with a hat grabbing a little girl's hand. The man mad eye contact with Token then got in the van. When he drove away the girl was still there on the other side.

"Whoa, guys do you think he was trying to take her?" Token asked in a shaky voice.

"Whoa, Good Job Token! You just saved a life!" Clyde partially yelled running to him with his hand up for a high five.

'Thank God for Token being here.. I was so panicked I might not have noticed the difference.'

"Hey, guys instead of going to Clyde's house, why don't you come over to by place?" Token suggested.

"Yeah, we will meet you there Token we were wanting to get some drinks for Craig turning 29 soon." Clyde said nudging me.

I sighed looking over at Token.

"We will swing by soon."

"Cool, see you soon." He said running off home.

______________

I was at home going through the booze that I had.

I groaned knowing we were going to get hammered tonight.

'It's not the same lately, I still look back

and think to myself. What would it be like if Tweek was here? God I'd give anything for him to be here right now. I can't believe it's been 20 years since.'

I was cut off of my train of thought with my phone going off in my pocket.

I got out my phone looking down seeing Clyde calling me.

"Hey Craig... I haven't heard from Token. I called and messaged him but he didn't answer." I hear on the phone.

"Really?"

"Yeah... I'm a little worried."

"Okay, how about I meet you at his house?"

"Okay, I'll see you soon."

I hung up deciding to grabbed some honey burden whiskey.

I walked to Token's house running into Clyde as he was waiting in the front door looking really nervous.

"He's not answering his door."

I walked up knocking on the door.

"Hey Token!!!!" Yelled Clyde.

I looked over at Clyde slowly opening the door.

When we walk in.

"Hey Token!!" He yelled again.

"Clyde be quiet..." I whispered trying to listen for any noises.

We both head to his bedroom upstairs.

"Token?" I hollered heading up the stairs.

"Craig, I'm nervous..."

"Token!" I practically yelled.

"Clyde look around. I'll check his bedroom."

When we parted ways I walked up to his bedroom door softly knocking. When I knocked, the door opened as it wasn't latched.

"Token?"

I walked in his room seeing him laying on the ground facing away.

'What's he doing on the floor?'

"Token, get up dude." I said walking up to him squatting down. I grabbed his arm slightly shaking him.

"Come on dude get u-" I pulled him to lay on his back. At that moment I felt my whole stomach flip as my vision got blurry. I stared in horror seeing nothing but red.

I fall back screaming out.

"Craig, what the fu-!!!!"

I look back seeing Clyde watching in fear. He yelled out loud running up to Token falling on his knees.

"C-Craig..... W-what happened!?"

I look down at my hands seeing nothing but blood feeling my body shaking. I was completely in shock and denial.

"C-Clyde I.... I...." I couldn't get the words out.

He grabbed my wrists looking in my eyes.

"Craig! Someone killed Token! You have his blood on you... We need to get you cleaned up."

He helped me onto my feet. He grabbed my arms looking at me.

"Craig, get a hold of yourself." He said shaking me.

"C-Clyde... He's... Dead..." I choked up still looking at my shaking hands.

"We need to go, NOW!"

He grabbed my wrist tight guiding me out of the house. When we get outside we both freeze when we see a line of cop cars waiting for us.

I felt my heart sinking to my chest in fear.

"Craig, run!!"

We both ran as fast as we could away being sure we took the backway so the cops couldn't see where we were going.

"Where are we going?" I asked looking back seeing the coast was clear.

"My place. We are washing you up..."

When we made it to his house he guided me to the kitchen.

"Craig, let me touch everything. Don't touch ANYTHING."

He still had me by my wrist as he turned on the sink.

"Clyde, h-how are you so calm?" I asked washing the blood off my hands.

"I h-have to be.... He was... my best friend... I'm going to find out who the fuck did this." He said balling his fists grinding his teeth angry.

I felt the pit in my stomach again. The same feeling back when I last saw her.

I clench my fists hard wanting to punch something.

"Clyde... It's just us....First it was her. Then Tweek not long after....now Token is gone too. Clyde it's just us..."

"Craig..."

I felt my whole body shaking as I smashed my fist down on the counter.

"I lost my best friend.... and now...you lost yours.. Clyde.... We need to find who did this!!!!"

"Yeah.. Wait.. You don't think.. That guy from earlier in the white van did this?"

"...It could be."

"Craig, what do we do? We don't have the proof all the fingers are at you as your finger prints are all over him."

I look around.

"We need to look for a clue. Anything at all."

"Where do we start?"

"We need to look back on when we were 8. Do you have a year book?"

He went through his books and stopped at one. He pulled it out opening it. I look over his shoulder seeing our old class. I see all the familiar faces.

'Clyde, Tweek, Token, Kyle, Stan, Cartman, Kenny, Butters, Wendy, Bebe, Red, Nicole, Heidi, then her. The strange girl that had no friends. No one to talk to.... No one that loved her.'

That pit in my stomach occurred as I felt more sadness build up which just pissed me off.

I felt Clyde's hand on my shoulder.

"I know you said you thought you could have saved her.... But you can't beat yourself up, bro."

I focused on the class photo. I see her in the far right away from everyone. She had bags under her eyes. Her eyes could pierce someone's heart as the eyes she possessed were dead. She had her mouth hidden through her scarf.

I flip through the back seeing all the random pictures of everyone.

I see Eric a lot being dumb pestering Kyle. Kenny hitting on a girl while she was clearly not interested. Stan was on his phone next to Wendy talking to Bebe. Tweek next to me while Clyde had his arms around me and Token smiling so big.

I look over seeing a picture of Stan's group. Cartman had his arms around all of them. Kyle was grabbing his hat irritated glaring at him while Stan was holding up a peace sign with a big smile while linking arms with Kyle. Kenny had his fingers in a 'V' with his tongue out between his fingers.

Then... I noticed. In the background she stood looking down at her feet. The imagine made my spine chill.

I was just like the day she was last seen. She was always alone looking down at her feet.

"I remember the last day we saw her. The next day they told us she was kidnapped." I hear Clyde say behind me.

"We never saw her again...." He added.

"Clyde, I wanted to talk to her. If I could go back somehow, would you have judged me?"

"No dude, deep down I wanted to. But I just knew that Cartman would have given us shit was all."

I sighed out loud.

"If I could go back... I'd change everything..."

"Yeah dude. I don't blame you..."

Suddenly, I hear a knock on his front door.

"Who's that?"

Clyde walked toward the door.

Out of no where there was a loud crash as the door was kicked open as a bunch of police flooded inside.

"Police!!"

"Shit, Craig run!!!"

I didn't waste any time as I ran to the backyard jumping the fence.

I ran aimlessly. I looked back feeling my whole body strike in fear seeing Clyde running after me with cops nearly catching him.

That's when my body went into shock. I felt my heart sink to my stomach. Everything was in slow motion so sudden. Then with a blink of an eye..everything changed.