Chapter 45

The second time I was getting into the carriage Lorcan hesitated before closing the door. I sat down on the upholstered seat and looked at him waiting for the door to be shut. 

"Aren't you thirsty and hungry?" He asked.

"I'm a human being, so yes I am." I said quietly.

"Why didn't you ask me for it?"

" I thought you wanted to punish me like that." I was honest. I was way too tired and thirsty to maintain a complicated conversation. 

"Beg me." 

He said it in such a way that I felt like trash. I looked at him and I knew he will probably kill me in his castle or do something cruel to make an example out of me. Why should I struggle? Wouldn't it be better to die on the way? My brain cells must have stopped working since I simply stood up, came to the door and shut them. After that I sat down again and for a brief moment felt like an absolute winner, then I realized how foolish I was. I missed my chance to get something to drink and pissed him even more. So much for my pride. The pain in my guts was driving me crazy. I guess it was too late to beg now.

The carriage was shaking again. I was so tired and exhausted that I managed to fall asleep again. Somebody woke me up. I felt soft lips touching mine and there was water. I greedily licked it.

"More." I whispered.

I was given more and I felt strong arms embracing me. It felt warm so I continued sleeping. 

When I woke up I heard someone's breathing next to me. I was resting on someone's lap. I figured this might be Lorcan.

"You awake?" He asked as soon as I moved.

"Yes, I am." I slowly raised myself only to be caught by strong arms and lifted, Lorcan carried me out. We were in front of some kind of inn. 

"I can walk." I protested. 

"Doubt." 

Lorcan brought me inside and placed me on a chair. He beckoned the owner and ordered soup for me. The smell alone made my insides tighten. I was freaking hungry. I peeped at Lorcan, he was watching me. There was a constant frown on his forehead. I was too exhausted to face him so I just stared at the table. The soup tasted wonderful, it was warm, well spiced and not too thick. I could eat it without forcing myself. 

Lorcan stood up and looking at his men he announced.

"We will stay here for the night and move early in the morning."

He grabbed my arm and lifted me. I moved as he pulled me behind himself. We went up into a room. Lorcn continued his silent treatment and I had nothing to say either. In the room there was one big bed and I was pushed on it. 

"Undress."

Shit. I felt better after having that bit of a meal yet I was weak. Slowly I managed to take off my coat and the rest of the clothes. I was naked sitting on the side of the bed. Lorcan came closer and he took off his clothes too. 

"Lay down and move to the side."

I did as I was ordered. Lorcan laid down next to me. I closed my eyes and waited for his move. My heart was beating like crazy. I wasn't sure to be honest whether I missed his touch or was afraid but he only hugged me and after a while we both were sleeping. In the morning I woke up alone, Lorcan was gone. I got dressed and went out of the room only to face two guards in front of the door. I was served with breakfast and placed back in the carriage. The remaining way back to caste, Lorcan provided me with food and water. The trip was still unpleasant as I was sitting in the darkness.However I allowed myself to hope he might show me mercy. We haven't talked at all yet. I was thinking I might start with apologies and explaining that I wanted to take my revenge and that I felt lonely. I don't know, maybe lie a bit to comfort him. There was a chance he might really have a weak spot for me. That's right, there was hope blooming in my heart. 

We were back in the castle, the part that used to be the home of his wife. I stepped out of the carriage and Lorcan took me with him on the horse. Half of the men remained there and the other part was following us. The whole way back through the bridge he was holding me in his arms and I snuggled to his chest. It was a pleasant feeling just like before. Despite the fact we still haven't spoken I felt a strange confidence I might get away with what I did. In the evening we reached the so familiar bailey. 

Lorcan got off the horse and helped me to get down too. Everybody was staring at me, there was this awkward silence. I was looked at as if I were a curiosity. 

"Is the room in the tower ready?" He asked one of the servants.

"Yes my Lord." 

"Good. Kian, follow me." Lorcan turned around and I went after him. It was a long walk up. It wasn't my former room. Something was off. Why was he giving me a different room? The way up ended and we were standing in front of a thick wooden door. Lorcan opened it and I was let in. It was a spacious room with a fireplace, one big canopy bed and another door, which was closed right now. There was a big window too so the room was well lit. Except for the bed and one armchair next to a fireplace there was no other furniture. Lorcan stepped inside and closed the door behind him. I suddenly felt a chill crawling along my skin and making me feel goosebumps.