Chapter 27

He wanted to look down on me? Not a chance.

"I can play and sing whatever you wish my Lord, however I don't think this song is appropriate for the Lady." 

"You had no doubt white playing it last time." He leaned back into his chair and crossed his arms.

"No, my Lord. I always adjust the songs I play or sing to my audience. I believe the lady's taste is more refined than that of the knights, but I will do as you order." 

There, take it you rude bastard. Lorcan's veins popped on his forehead and I started to play the same frivolous song. The boys were more than happy clapping and laughing while I was singing, the Lady had problems containing her laughter as well. Lorcan was gloomy, again. When I finished, the Lady agreed that this song was surely liked by men. Next I played "The Nightingale", a complicated piece with many passages. It went well and I could see they were impressed with my skills. I received praises and despite all those bad things that happened to me recently I allowed myself to feel happy for a moment.

"Thank you Kian, you may go and rest."

Wow, a clear statement I should leave right away. I raised myself, took the zither , flipped my hair to the back and bowed a bit.

"I bid you all good night." For a moment my eyes rested on everybody's faces, gave a gentle smile and I left the dining room. 

"He is really talented …" That's the last piece of information I managed to hear before I was too far to hear anything. 

From my last time I learned that eavesdropping brought me nothing good but pain and disappointment. I went back to my room, undressed and went straight to bed. I wanted to fall asleep but I couldn't. I felt anxious, all the time something inside me kept me awake. I was tossing from one side of bed to another. I tried counting when I heard the door being opened. Of course Lorcan came to satisfy his needs. I closed my eyes and turned my head to the window. The steps were light, there was a slight chance he may go if he notices I'm asleep. He sat down on the bed and his hand wrapped around my waist. Something was odd, the movement, the touch I turned around. In the darkness of the room I noticed the white hair. He bowed and placed a feather-like light kiss on my lips. That wasn't Lorcan. I pushed him away.

"Tod? What are you doing?"

"Kian, I like you. No, I'm in love with you." He whispered quietly.

"If your father sees you, you will be punished and I might be killed." I was scared, if Lorcan would come here right now I'm not sure what he might do to me.

"Don't worry, he's in his room drinking. I bet he is already asleep. Be nice to me Kian." He laid himself next to me, which made me even more scared.

"Tod, please go." I said quietly. After all, he was still a kid. Well he was almost my size yet he was about to turn fifteen in a month or so. 

"Kian let me stay for a moment, I just want to hug you." He placed himself next to me.

"You smell so good." His face was in an instant in the crook of my neck.

"Tod no, stop it." I decided to use more force to push him away.

He grabbed my hands and pulled them up. To my utter surprise he was stronger than me. In an instant he was on top of me.

"Kian I want you so bad, you have no idea how much it hurts to see you with my father. I would be a better match." He kept whispering and I was trying to wiggle myself out from underneath him.

"Are you doing it on purpose, you are getting me more excited." He placed his lips on mine and I turned my head to the side.

"Tod, not like that. I'm scared." I decided to use that to stop him. He actually let me go.

"Kian, don't be afraid of me, I would never hurt you." His warm hand was on my cheek. It felt kind of nice.

"I'm not afraid of you Tod."

There was a moment of silence before Tod spoke again.

"Has my father done anything to you?" He asked.

"Yes. Go Tod." I was exhausted. This whole thing was too much.

He lowered his head.

"I'm sorry Kian, I would never cause you any harm. You are too precious to me." 

His confession somehow made me sad. He was a young boy who was having his first crush. 

"I will kiss you once Tod but then you must leave." These words somehow left my lips without me using my brain.

He looked at me and bowed to kiss. I opened my mouth and allowed our tongues to touch. He was shivering. It must have been his first kiss. He was gentle and I enjoyed how inexperienced he was. It was very satisfying to know that I was the first one to kiss him. He lifted himself and for a moment he was looking at me. The light from the moon barely allowed me to see him.

"You must go now." I rushed him

 Tod sighted and stood up, his eyes were still glued to me. This whole moment might have seemed magical if not for one thing. We heard it both, a sound of steps. Someone was walking down the corridor and those steps were coming closer. 

My heart stopped for a moment. It can't be, was Lorcan suddenly in a mood to pay me a midnight visit? I grabbed the duvet willing to cover myself underneath it, a weird reaction probably due to a shock. I heard some movement, Tod was apparently more sober than I was. In a moment he was in the corner of the room, hiding behind the curtain. In this light he was unlikely to be seen.